When It Rains
by Illiandyandra
Summary: I'm very sorry for the interruption in the Postings of my other Fics…this one WOULD NOT leave me alone! BabeTart story. Stephanie and the Merry Men come together. Is it for the long haul?
1. Chapter 1

**When It Rains**

Illiandyanndra

**Stephanie Plum **

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Rating:** Eventually NC-17

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I'm very sorry for the interruption in the Postings of my other Fics…this one WOULD NOT leave me alone.

**Chapter 1  
>Ending of an Era<strong>

Another day, another skip. Another skip, another blown up Piece of Shit automobile. My name is Stephanie Plum and I'm a Bond Enforcement Agent for the Vincent Plum Bail Bonds Agency. Currently I'm in the final on again part of an on again/off again relationship with Detective Joe Morelli. I've known Joe for freaking ever, but things just weren't working out. For this very reason. See my latest car just went kerblewy, and of course police and fire and rescue show up and with them my cop 'boyfriend'. And what does Detective Morelli have to say? Not 'are you okay?'. Not 'did you get hurt?'.

Nope Detective Joe Morelli has spent the last 18 minutes ripping me a new one. Going on and on about how much I stink at my job, how bad I make him look, how incompetent I am. "Cupcake, you need to leave this shit to the professionals. You are pathetic, always getting covered in shit I'd rather not look at let alone touch. How can you be such a colossal fuck up?"

"OH hell no!" Lester Santos said as he charged up to us. "I know you didn't just call Beautiful a fuck up. Did you not notice that her skip is cuffed to the fucking light post? She might have lost her car but she didn't fucking loose her skip. She is damn good at her job. I don't know what her personal capture rate is, but the rate for the ones she has worked for Rangeman is 100 percent. So just back the fuck off." Lester works for Rangeman Security. The Security firm owned by my mentor and best friend (and one time lover) Ranger Manoso. Usually I'd tell you that Lester is the happiest of the Merry Men (My nickname for the very hot, sexy men who work at Rangeman); but right now he is well and truly pissed.

"Lester it's ok…don't worry about it. Joe was just-"

"Being a verbally abusive asshole?" Bobby supplied from where he stood glowering next to his field partner.

"What? No..Joe was just being Joe. He always acts like this when something blows up around me." I said defensively.

"Bomber, we got here almost the same time he did. Over the years, I'd always assumed that he looked you over and assured himself that you were ok. That his comments were just

His post adrenaline let down…but nooo, this asshole doesn't care if you are ok. He doesn't even let the EMTs look you over before he starts spewing the absolute bullshit that was coming out of his mouth." Man Bobby was quite pissed. He rarely cusses, and never around me. I crossed to Bobby and Lester, hoping that if this went south after what I had to say, I could keep them from doing anything rash.

"It's really not that bad Bobby. I'd come to the conclusion that this back and forth thing wasn't working. That I was never going to be what he wanted and that he isn't what I want." I said in a calm, soothing voice.

"WHAT?" Morelli yelled. "You are exactly what I want. I love you. What do you mean that I'm not what you want? What do you want Manoso and his fucking thugs?" Joe yelled. Huh didn't know a person could turn that color.

"He isn't what I want." I repeated less calmly. He is really messing with my serene. "He may be what the 'burg wants…But I'm not 'burg, not really. Never have been and never will be. He is what my mother wants…but I'm done trying to please her I'm never successful any way." It was at this point that I got logorrhea. "God as if the disaster that was my first marriage wasn't enough to show the whole world that I should never be married. But no, my mother refuses to acknowledge that someone may want to be more than a wife and pop out heathens every few years. And so what if I do want Ranger and his guys. They support me and they help me and they hide training in conversations so that I get better. They stand up for me when the man who claims he loves me is shouting that I'm a fuckup."

"If you want to be the Rangeman whore, and fuck a whole tribe of spics and niggers and whatever the hell else, don't come crying back to me. You don't want to marry me but you'll open your legs for the thugs and criminals at Rangeman…and you call Joyce a slut." Morelli shouted.

Maybe I went into one of those fugue states, maybe I was possessed by the spirit of Ralphie from A Christmas Story, I really have no clue. But next thing I know I'm straddling Morelli waling on him like there is no tomorrow. "Say whatever the fuck you want about me. But you keep them out of it. Those men have taken bullets for me. Those men have hunted down psychos for me. I would do the same for any of them; I would die for them. Those men mean more to me than you and your weak ass idea of love will ever even be able to contemplate. You don't get to talk about them like their race has any bearing on anything other than the color of their beautiful fucking skin. They are not thugs and criminals either they are heroes. They have metals from the goddamn President of the Fucking United States of America, so don't talk about shit you are too stupid to understand." At this point Lester managed to drag me off Joe, but I can tell you he's going to have to do some serious talking to explain those bruises.

I think ALL of us including Mike and Dean the EMTs and Carl and Big Dog were shocked by what happened next. Joe clambered to his feet and grabbed my arm. "You are under arrest for assaulting a police officer." He said and he read me my rights.

I could see Lester and Bobby starting to come out of their shock induced stupor. Shock was quickly being replaced with Rage. "No Guys. It's what he wants. Go get Tank and have Connie meet us there. I don't want to have to be with this putz any longer than absolutely necessary."

"You know Morelli, you wouldn't have the balls to pull this stunt if Ranger wasn't in the wind." Lester growled out.

"Joe, you made your point. Now take the cuffs off Steph." Carl Costanza said trying to sound calming. Got to love Carl, known him since kindergarten.

"Yeah she wasn't beating you cause you are a cop…she was beating you cause you are a dick." Big Dog said jokingly. Guess he was trying to diffuse the tension with humor.

Morelli just told them to butt out of it. He dragged me over to his car and slung me into the back. Something else could have happened, but since I managed to his the other side door hard enough to knock myself out.

When I came to, Morelli was leaning into the back of his car shaking me awake. "Come on Cupcake." He said dragging me towards the cop shop. His hands were a lot tighter on my arm than they needed to be. He dragged me to the booking desk. ^Oh God must Hate Me^ was all I could think, when I realized that Officer Gaspick was on the desk today. Damn I really could have used Robin today.

"You finally think you have something that can stick?" Gaspick asked Joe, giving me what I can only describe as a snide look.

"Assaulting a police officer." Joe said with a smirk. "Sit on her if you can…maybe we can make it so she's not arraigned tonight."

Gaspick gave Joe a hard look. Then he laughed, "she finally broke up with you huh…from the look of your face I take is she found out about the side thing you have with that nurse from St. Francis?"

"What the fuck?" I yelled. I was a bit too pissed to care about the crowd I was drawing. "You just called me a whore in front of God and everybody…claiming I'm cheating on you with a whole bunch of men who look at me like I was the sister they never had…but you are fucking some nurse from St. Francis…fine Joe, you want to arrest me for assaulting an officer, take these damn cuffs off and let me be really guilty."

"He CALLED you a what?" a very familiar voice broke through the station.

"Chief Hawser, Sir!" Morelli said with a gulp. He whipped us around to face his chief.

"Get those cuffs off my goddaughter, before I bust you down to traffic cop." Uncle Mickey said as he closed the distance between us. "What exactly are you trying to charge her with?"

"She assaulted a police officer sir." Morelli said carefully.

"Were you there in an official capacity?" Uncle Mickey, my dad's best friend growing up, the best man at his wedding asked in the calmest tone I'd ever heard from him. When Morelli shook his head, Uncle Mickey continued. "If you were not acting in an official capacity, why were you there Detective Morelli?"

"She's my girlfriend sir." the douche-bag answered.

Uncle Mickey gave him a hard look. "So you were there to check on her?"

"Oh please all he did was berate me and call me a fuck up. Then he had the nerve to call me a whore because my co-workers stood up for me. Not to mention that he called the Rangemen several pejorative and derogatory names. Racial Names, Uncle Mickey." Maybe I was tattling…but so, I'll be damn; if I was going down, so was he.

"If you called her that then this is obviously a disagreement between two former connections. As for the Rangemen, calling them anything other than heroes means that obviously you need to go to sensitivity training again Officer Morelli. Now uncuff Stephanie, before I have you in front of IA for abuse of power."

Chief Hawser was in full effect as Tank came in with Connie and (whoa) Lula. "Chief Hawser, good afternoon sir. Officer Morelli has seen fit to arrest one of Rangeman's employees for assault; however we have clear evidence that she was provoked beyond reasonable thought." It took me a minute to notice that cd in Tank's hand.

"Morelli, uncuff Stephanie. We'll take this to my office."

Thirty minutes later, Morelli was busted down a pay grade and had a plethora of classes he had to take to keep his shield; and according to Tank, I was moving into Haywood for a while.

"But why? I don't have anybody after me?" I asked confused.

"Look, skinny ass white girl, I just spent over thirty minutes in the friggin' cop shop just because Supercop decided to play fast and loose. Your crazy Granny can break into your place. Please just do as the big guy asks and stay at Batman's until Morelli gets over his latest snit." Lula said. Probably she had a point.

"But, but…it gets so boring when I stay there when Ranger's out of town." I said rubbing my wrists.

"Well, I'd come and keep you company, but I've got me a hot date tonight with a bigun' he's tall and broad, and makes me feel all dainty and shit. Why don't you get Tank and the Boys to come up and ya'll all chill out and watch movies or something." Lula suggested.

"Probably not a great idea, Lu." I said dragging her across out in front so Tank wouldn't hear us. "I've been too broke to buy tastycakes, and I haven't been with Joe since we broke up last time." I whispered.

"But, girl…you two got back together over a month ago." She said shocked.

"Scheduling conflicts. I kinda wondered why he didn't press the issue, but finding out about the nurse, it makes sense." I said with a shrug. "Anyway…I really shouldn't be left alone with all those good looking men. Especially since you and me both know none of them look at me like that. It's cruel and unusual punishment."

"Especially since you are more than half in love with them anyway." Lula said sagely.

"How did you know?" I gasped. "I mean, no. I'm not. I mean…shit."

"Tank played the whole thing on the way over here, so we'd know what we were dealing with. You actually said that you loved them all but that you would live and die for your boys. Connie and I figure that meant Ranger, Lester, Bobby, Hal, Cal, maybe Hector," she paused for a second. "And Tank."

"Lula, you know me. I would never…"

"You will. You can." She said stopping me from talking and stopping us both from walking. "I know ya'll think I'm just crazy Lula, but I watch ya'll, and I listen. Those guys love you and each one of them watch you almost as much as Batman does." She took a deep breath and continued. "Not a one of them gets a fair shake with bitches here. All any of these snooty bitches here see when they look at them is meat. Big, dumb, sexy meat. But you see them. You look past the scary and see the sweet. Even that crazy muthafucker with the tattoo on his head."

"But what about you?" I whispered.

"I'm never gonna be nobody's wife, Steph. You saved me, body, mind and soul. And Tankie loves you way more than he ever did me. I might be a bitch…but I'm not evil. If you and Tank get together, I will be the biggest supporter you will find." Lula got a lecherous look on her face and added. "Though I gotta ask…can I watch? I mean I ain't a pervert, like Vinnie or nuthin', but I can't see how your skinny ass could take the manstick Tankie's got."

We looked at each other and just started laughing. Tank and Connie came over and dragged us to the car. "Ok Tank. I'll go to Haywood. But I really need to go get that skip and turn him in. got to make rent."

"Little Girl, you know we have more research than we can ever get done. If you were broke why didn't you come and make some money."

"Well, with Ranger in the wind…I wasn't sure if it would be okay." I said quietly.

"I bet you been mooching dinners off your momma too…never mind she drives you nuts." Tank said shaking his head. "You never have to ask. We love you. None of us want you homeless…unless it will finally get you to move into Haywood permanently." I shot him a 'burg death glare. "What we worry about you in that dinky apartment? You move to Haywood…it would make it a lot harder to collect stalkers."

"Maybe…but what if you guys get sick of me?" I whined.

"Never gonna happen Little Girl. You are one of us and today only proves it. By the way…you don't have to worry about that skip, he'd in holding at Rangeman. You can take him in tomorrow. Lester and Bobby couldn't be trusted anywhere near the cop-shop today, or they'd have taken him on in for you." Tank gave me a smile. He has a great smile. We'll go and grab your stuff and that spoiled rat of yours…oh and grab a couple of distraction outfits. We'll see if we can't get you some extra cash."

We dropped Lula and Connie back by the office and headed to my place on Hamilton. I packed my laundry basket without really thinking about it, I kept replaying the conversation with Lula over and over in my head. What if she was wrong…but lord help me, what if she was right. 

I made sure I put in some of my Rangeman uniforms and took a few minutes to struggle over distraction clothes. After all I had no clue what would be called for. So I threw together four outfits. Typical club, slutty pool hall, classy happy hour, and borderline call girl; figure those will cover everything. By the time I came back out front, Tank had gathered Rex and his food and sundries. He'd even taken out my trash. Thank the Lord, cause I almost forgot about it.

"Ready?" He smiled when I nodded. "Wanna stop by McDonalds and hit the Red Box?" Again I nodded. By the time we get back, the core team will be off the clock. We can all veg out in front of Ranger's big ass TV, with some beers and some action flicks. It'll be great."

I texted my boys with the invite. Of course I included the information that we were swinging by McDonalds to get the movies…they of course texted back with their orders. It took us another hour before we made it back to Haywood, thankfully most of the guys had come down to help us schlep all the stuff but to Ranger's apartment.

While the boys got everything set up, I headed to the bathroom and took a quick shower. When I was done I came out and looking through my basket, realized that every piece of lounging apparel I'd brought with me was well slightly naughty. Shoot. My hormones must have packed for me. I threw on a pair of black shorts that had SEXY written across my ass in pink and a pink tank top that had the word SEXY on it also, just in black. Thank goodness that I'd shaved and moisturized everything this morning.

I tried to be nonchalant as I headed out to join the guys.


	2. Chapter 2

**When It Rains**

Illiandyanndra

**Stephanie Plum **

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Rating:** Eventually NC-17

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** Thanks so much to all the Reviewers, esp. Margaret Fowler. I'll get back to Unexplained Sanity ASAP. I'm very sorry for the interruption in the Postings of my other Fics…this one WOULD NOT leave me alone.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 2<strong>

I was kind of surprised when I walked back in to find the living room empty. Until I heard the guys' voices coming from the Kitchen. I smiled as I heard the happy, celebratory voices of my guys. I could hear Bobby and Lester laughing. Tank's booming laughter was blending with Hal's. Cal was discussing something about Grandma. He'd been kind enough to take her to a viewing last week while I was chasing a skip…I'm still not sure how she found his number. He managed to keep her contained by promising to tell her the story behind his flaming skull tattoo. Then I heard a voice that made me run into the kitchen.

"You actually took Edna Mazur to a viewing and kept her out of trouble?" Ranger asked, I could hear the amused shock in his voice.

I pushed myself through the guys. Forcing myself to play it cool, I just gave Ranger a relieved smile. "You're back."

"And you are exhibiting real truth in advertising, Babe." Ranger said before he pulled me into a deep pantie ruining kiss.

^Holy Ruined Panties, Batman. Oh damn…I forgot I'm not wearing any panties.^ I muttered. Or thought I muttered.

"Bombshell!" Cal and Hal groaned.

"Bomber!" Bobby moaned.

"Beautiful!" Lester whined.

"Shit, Little Girl!" Tank said…his voice sounded thick, husky.

"Giving information to the enemy again, Babe?" Ranger growled.

Apparently Lester or someone translated for Hector. "Bombadera, Puedo arreglar ese problema para usted si lo desea. (I can fix that problem for you if you like.)

Ranger gave Hector a look I didn't quite understand. "Hey what did he say?" I asked turning to look at the Spanish only speaker. As I turned I accidentally may have brushed against Ranger right at groin level with my ass. If I did it was an accident I swear. And I was not smirking when I heard him bite back a groan.

"He said he could fix the problem for you." Ranger said with a smirk of his own.

"Whosawhatisit?" I said so very coherently. "Hector, I thought you were gay?" I swung around to look at Ranger. "I thought you said Hector was gay?"

"Si, soy gay… pero también soy codicioso." (Yes, I am gay… but I am also greedy.) Hector said laughing so hard a real tear joined the tattooed one on his cheek.

He did not laugh alone. In fact every one of the Merry Men was laughing, and laughing just as hard as Hector was. "**En** cuanto a ella como esto haría cualquier hombre codicioso... algunas mujeres también." (Looking at her like this would make any man greedy… some women too.) Lester teased.

"Yeah she would." Ranger said suddenly. One of these days I really need to learn Spanish. "But who said I'm willing to share?"

"Share what?" I asked nosily. "Or is it a who?" ^Cause if it's me…do I get to pick who I get shared with?^

"Babe?" Ranger said with his one eyebrow up thingy that he does when Babe is a question.

I blushed…in fact I'm pretty sure that every conceivable inch of my skin was currently at the very least pink. Must deflect… "What?" I whined. "Look it's so not my fault. The last time I had a social orgasm was before you went in the wind. And the only time I get sugar is when I scam dinner from my parents. For the last 73 days I've been living like a monk, worse really cause I'm pretty sure they can have sweets. At this point I think I have more hormones than actual blood in my veins, and I'm SURROUNDED by seven of the hottest men in the ENTIRE free world. And apparently I kinda like all of them in that oh damn you're so sexy way. And then Lula said I told Morelli that I love them all but that I would live and die for my boys. All of you…so yeah maybe I should just shut up now." I said trying to hide. I'd have stormed out of the room but I have a feeling that not one of those guys would have moved if I'd tried. But unfortunately my hormones weren't quite finished with my mouth yet. "And hey you say you don't share…but that's all you do. You share everything from this building to your cars with these guys. You seemed quite content to share me with Morelli, who you could barely tolerate. Not to mention the very pertinent fact that you only seem to want me when someone else does…cause hey, all this," I said making a Price is Right Showgirl gesture, "could have been yours but then you decided to send my back to Morelli." Maybe that part was yelled a bit…rather loudly.

"Speaking of Morelli…I thought you guys got back together over a month ago?" Lester said his tone incredulous. Like he couldn't believe that Morelli and I could be together and we not _be together_.

"Yeah well apparently Joey boy had a nursey on the side…so he no longer cared if his 'girlfriend' was getting any or not." I could feel a rhino moment coming on, so I closed my eyes so I could rant internally. ^Oh my God. Maybe I'm the problem. I mean I know I tend to have a slight spare tire sometimes…but I didn't think I was like gross or anything. _Maybe I'm bad at sex_. Maybe that's why guys keep cheating on me. Or maybe it's cause I'm not kinky. I mean yeah I'm joking about a Merry Man orgy…but I don't even do butt stuff. I mean, there really isn't any way to have a Merry Man Orgy without doing butt stuff. Man, to be honest I think for a social orgasm right now, I'd do all the butt stuff in the world. I swear if I could just have casual sex like a normal person…but No. I have to be half in love with someone to even fantasize about having sex with them. Stupid catholic guilt. I mean is it really so wrong to want some balls to the walls mind-blowing sex? I was good. I'm over thirty and have only been with three men in my life…haven't I been good? I didn't kill Dickie for fucking Joyce before my wedding dress was back from the cleaners. I didn't shave Joyce's head. I haven't killed Joe, yet. Don't I deserve to at least get some hot action now? Stupid sexy Rangemen, how do you not fall in love with guys who look like that and treat you like you're more precious than air? But of course, they all think of me as their sister from another mister. How the hell did I become Hermione freakin' Granger, stuck in the sister zone with the hero and stuck with the second string? Well nope. I got off that dumbass train today. No more being with the guy who has spent the last five and a half books putting me down. Shit I've been quiet too long.^ I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. To see a sea of shock and awe and something really resembling desire.

"Beautiful…I hate to break it to you…but you weren't quiet." Lester said his voice tight and strained with I can only assume was laughter. "Did you breathe at all during that rant?"

"I want to know how the hell you've made it this long looking like that and you've only been with three guys." Cal said confusedly."I get more chicks than that in a week and I have a flaming skull tattooed on my head."

"Babe, you may be bad at many things; looking before you leap self-control, minding your own business…but you are definitely not bad at sex." Ranger said stridently.

Tank looked over at Ranger and said calm as anything. "You know you have no choice now?"

^^OK, What?^^

"I always have a choice." Ranger said back to his 21C. ^^I have got to stop watching SG1 Marathons with Mooner.^^

"You had your choice and you sent her back to Morelli. That was stupid. Now your only choice is whether you can handle being one of seven. We all left her alone; 'cause we thought she was yours, just to find out you played with her like a doll and put her back on the shelf." Tank replied fiercely.

"Hold up guys. I will NOT come anywhere near between you guys. You have been friends and compatriots for a lot longer than you have known me. I will just go back to my apartment and we can all forget tonight ever happened." I said trying to calm everyone down.

Seven pairs of eyes gave me the shut up look. So I decided to shut up, and stand here quietly. Just this once though.

"Man, Ranger, don't you even realize what you did. That had to hurt worse than getting shot. We can all see how Steph feels about you. For you to make love with her and then send her back to that SoB cop…that wasn't right sir." Hal said the disappointment clear in his tone. "If anyone else had hurt her like that, I'm pretty sure I'd have killed him."

^See this is why I love you guys.^ I thought to myself. They all exchanged looks, doing that silent conversation thing.

"Do you Bomber? Are you sure?" Bobby asked. "Cause I'm fairly certain that I can speak for everyone of us present when I say that we love you too. And not one of us sees you as Hermione Granger…though there might be some resemblance around the hair. You look at us and you see heroes, warriors not killers. You remind us that we are soldiers and that the things we did in service to our country, may have been distasteful and horrific, but they were done to protect the freedoms that we love. Too many of us were in danger of getting swallowed by the darkness we see every day. Then you came along this ray of sunshine that seems to never get taint by anything…you wash us clean."

"Bobby's right, Little Girl. So if you want us we're yours." Tank said quietly.

"Yo también, niña Bombardera poco." Hector said with a smile.

I looked to Ranger. I'm not sure what I expected to see, probably I was expecting his blank face to be there. But instead it was something…new, something hot. "Ranger?"

"Babe, you're right I do share everything with these guys, heck that one pair of boxers in my underwear drawer, I stole from Lester. And yes, if I wanted you all for myself I should have stepped up to the plate long time ago. I've known I loved you for a long time. And yeah Bobby's right, you look at us like no one else. I'll even go one step further and say that you don't look at me as a paycheck, and I know that if we do this it has the possibility of being amazing. But you have to know, Stephanie, if we do this, it won't be for one night." Ranger apprised me.

Apparently he and the guys had been doing that ESP thing again, cause they were all back to being thick as thieves…with Ranger as their leader. "So what, are we talking about a month? Two? Six? How long? Cause if it's going to be a temporary thing…I need to psyche myself up for that."

"Oh no Bombshell, if you choose to do this, it's for the LONG Haul." Cal said with a very wicked grin. "We're not idiots like Morelli or that first asshole you married, what self respecting grown assed man would ever refer to himself as Dickie? If we get you…we're keeping you."

"I think we'd keep you forever, Steph, I know I wouldn't ever leave you voluntarily." Hal said quietly, his smile serene. As though he was closer to heaven than he'd ever been and was just waiting to go in the gates.

"Forever Beautiful…And Dammnit Rickey you have more money than God. Do you know how hard it is to find black silk boxers that fit my waist and my thighs?" Lester said giving Ranger a cross look.

"Eres la primera mujer que he querido. Quiero que tanto me parece que no puedo dejar que te deslizas a través de mis dedos." Hector said sincerely.

"He said, 'you are the only female I have ever wanted. I want you so much I find I cannot let you slip through my fingers." Ranger translated.

"But Hector…I can't ask you to give up who you are for me." I said. I think there's something in my eye. Thankfully Ranger translated for me.

"Lester es muy codicioso, que me llene en algún momento cuando tengo la necesidad." (Lester is VERY greedy; he will fill me sometime when I have the need.) Hector said with a smirk at Lester.

"What?" Lester said blushing. "I was horny and he was willing. We were on lockdown." He said with an unconcerned shrug. "Ya'll are just jealous…Hector gives great head."

^Oh holy hell that's Hot…can I watch?^

"Only if you say yes Babe." Ranger said with a sensual whisper.

"Hell, Little Girl, if you say yes. Agree to belong to us and us to you for the next fifty…sixty years, I'll tongue kiss the boss man." Tank said teasingly.

"Oh God Yes." I moaned. The very thought of those two super hot men doing anything at all like that made me go weak in the knees.

"Man do I not want to say this but, are you sure Bomber…cause you could face a lot of flak from the bitter birds in the 'burg." Bobby said reasonably.

I felt my spine go rigid. I felt the Rhino inside start to paw the ground. "Fuck them. I've been forced to listen to all of them talk about me behind my back and laugh at me. If they don't like it they can kiss my rosy ass. Those who love me won't care and as for the rest…FUCK THEM!"

"Not with Vinnie's dick." Les joked.

"Actually I think I should be glad I have these six with us. If you've been 73 days without a real orgasm and only nominal sugar…it's gonna take all of us to get you back down to your normal level of borderline nymphomania." Ranger teased.

"Hey. I'm not a borderline nymphomaniac…I'm Hungarian and Italian. I'm Edna Mazur's granddaughter." I began.

"Holy shit, Bomber…are you trying to tell us you are still gonna be chasing us expecting us to fuck your brains out when we're eighty something?" Cal asked.

"More than likely…Probably. Yeah" I answered. I was shocked when they started high fiving.

"Hell yeah, that's what I' talking about!" Tank crowed.

"Oh we're never letting you get away from us Beautiful." Lester joked.

"Ok when we're eighty… we have to still have our own place. Nursing homes are evil." Hal joked.

"Usted será tan bello para nosotros, entonces como hoy en día." (You will be as beautiful to us then as you are today.) Hector promised solemnly.

"Ok…wait you guys literally run from my grandmother…why are you so happy that I'm gonna be like her?" I asked completely confused.

"Beautiful, we, in our late twenties and early thirties run from her, an eighty six year old. When we are all in our eighties, we'll be chasing you around just like she chases the old men at the senior center." Lester said somehow making that statement sound like a very sexy promise.

"Ugh, I don't want to get old and have all that saggy yucky skin." I whined.

"We'll keep you toned, so that will never happen, ok Bomber?" Bobby teased. "So are we gonna be in this until we're old and gray?"

"Yes. Yeah I think we are." I answered. Looking around at the smiles on the Ranger and the guys' faces…their smiles were bright enough to run a city. And my stomach took that very moment to remind us that all that lovely McDonalds had grown gross and cold.

"Guess we have to feed that beast first, Beautiful." Lester joked.

"Bomber, why don't you go get dolled up and let your men take you out for a night on the town." Cal suggested.

"Yeah. Its only Thursday, I'll bet we can get a table at Rossini's easy." Hal said excitedly. Suddenly all the guys were happy and animated.

Somehow I found myself agreeing and an hour later we were being shown to a table in the center of Rossini's. Surrounded by some of the sexiest, well dressed men ever. Ranger looked great in his chocolate brown Armani, with a sapphire blue tie. Tank was sexy as hell in his black FUBU suit with a light lavender shirt. He was tieless and had left the collar of his shirt open, displaying his strong neck. Lester had gone for navy blue and white, with a tie that looked like a stormy night sky. Cal was in a gorgeous gun metal gray FUBU suit and he had chosen to wear a light gray shirt with it. His tie was a wash of grays, almost white at the Windsor knot and deepening to a shade away from black at the bottom. Hal's suit was Chocolate brown, and it was perfectly tailored, with a cream shirt and golden tie, he looked good enough to eat. Bobby's suit was a dark gray pinstripe suit, with a light blue shirt and a silvery blue tie. Hector's suit was amazing. It was a black Gucci suit with a black shirt and crisp, ice blue tie. Walking in with them I could feel the eyes of every female in the place GLARING holes through me. ^^Be jealous Bitter Bitches.^^

I was wearing a gorgeous little dress I found on clearance at Macy's before criminals stopped skipping the last month. It was a Suzi Chin one-shoulder ruched dress in medium gray. It hugged my curves great and best of all I'd found a pair of coral pink peep toe four inch semi-platform FMPs. I'm telling you my hormones packed for me earlier, because I have no memory of packing this dress, or the shoes. But according to the kisses the guys had pressed to my mouth before we left Haywood. I looked damn good, if I do say so myself. We had barely been seated when who should enter the damn restaurant but one Officer Joe Morelli. On his arm was a tiny bottle blonde with a rack that HAD to be fake as hell. I mean it was defying gravity. She was in white strapless number that looked kind of cute in a retro, Suzy Homemaker kind of way. As he was approaching, Ranger leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"Babe, I don't know which is more fake; her hair or her tits."


	3. Chapter 3 IT'S GETTING GOOD NOW!

**WHEN IT RAINS**

Illiandyanndra

**Stephanie Plum **

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Rating:** Eventually NC-17

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)… Anyway thanks so much to all the Reviewers, esp. Margaret Fowler. I'll get back to Unexplained Sanity ASAP. I'm very sorry for the interruption in the Postings of my other Fics…this one WOULD NOT leave me alone.

Oh & AN2: Who can point out the song lyrics hidden in the last chapter. TITLE AND ARTIST…and I will see if I can talk my husband into doing a personal Poser Icon for you.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 3<strong>

Joe and his mini-Barbie doll passed by our table without so much as a look from him. She almost tripped over her own tongue looking at my guys. I kind of wish he had said something…I would have loved the opportunity to make her cry. Oh well. Given the nature of my hometown…I'm pretty sure that I will have plenty of opportunities to poke the bitch with a stick. I looked around the table and felt sure that each the guys wanted to say something to Joe themselves. I also noticed that Tank was firmly restraining Bobby and Lester; probably they would have been happy telling Morelli off…probably.

With the showdown postponed, we turned our attention to our own menus and conversation. I quickly realized that I had a bit of a terminology problem. "Ok so My Boys doesn't fit…My Guys seems a bit too goomba, and My Lovers seems too trite…then there is the fact that I can't call you the Merry Men…that's all the Rangemen and you guys are special." I began. Suddenly it hit me…a total epiphany. "The Justice League. Ranger's already Batman…so I'll just keep going with the theme. Tank, you are SO Steel. Big beautiful black man. Strong as hell with a heart of gold and even stronger sense of justice. Lester has to be Flash…snarky, sarcastic, positive he's God's gift to women…Funny sometimes; funniest when he isn't trying. Bobby is Dr. Fate, smart with tons of medical magic. Cal is Aquaman, misunderstood buff guy with amazing swimming capabilities. Hal is our Green Arrow. The voice of reason, the most often underestimated one. And Hector, you are Vibe..former gangland leader turned hero. I mean yeah, you are Mexican not Puerto Rican…but still. Plus Vibe did these really cool things with his shockwaves. Plus I've always dreamed of being Wonder Woman."

"Yeah, but Beautiful…when we get you in bed, you're going to sound more like Black Canary." Lester said silkily.

^Dun Dun Dun Another Pair bites the dust.^ I hummed.

The entire Justice League busted into laughter. They drew every eye in the room. Men wished they could be them and women wished they could be with them. But back off Bitter Bitches these seven are mine…and possibly each other's, at least in Hector and Lester's case. When they finally got themselves under control, Bobby gave me a very stormy look. "So Bomber…how close to virginal are you?"

"Huh?" I asked dumbly. "I'm nowhere near virginal. I've had lots of sex."

"Let me rephrase…what have you tried?" Bobby asked.

"Well…I mean I've done missionary, a lot, and I like to be on top. Don't get to do that one near as much as I like. Oh and the spoon way." I said blushing, remembering my one night with Ranger.

"What about taking it from behind?" Tank hissed.

"Not in a long time, really. I mean with Ranger. He was the only one I could trust, after Dickie tried to force the butt stuff issue." I said still blushing, "I have trouble even talking about –well you know, outside the moment."

"But, you love suggestive talk and innuendo." Ranger pointed out.

"Yeah…I can handle double entendres and flirting…but dirty talk. Dickie told me to stop trying cause I sounded silly." I sighed. "I didn't even try it again until you kept dragging it out of me."

"It was so hot hearing your innocent, sexy-ass mouth saying dirty, dirty things." Ranger growled.

Looking around the table, it was a sea of lust ridden faces as each of my men seemed to be busily imagining what Ranger had described. They all started squirming in their seats. "What else do you like Bombshell?" Hal asked his voice strained.

"Well I like receiving…you know" I dropped my voice, "oral. And I really liked giving it to Ranger. Morelli not as much and Dickie not at all. I think part of it was with Dickie and to a certain extent Morelli, I felt like I was an inter-changeable part, any female mouth in the world. But with Ranger, I felt like it was just a different way to make love to him. I don't know…why do we have to talk about this here?" I was redder than a tomato right now.

"Because…if we discuss it here, we'll actually discuss it and not end up stripping you naked and fucking you until you can't walk." Tank groaned. "Besides this, and listening to you eat…well, let's just call it foreplay."

"Yeah, foreplay…I like lots of foreplay." I said with a dreamy smile on my face. "And deep, pantie ruining kisses. And strong, good smelling hugs. You guys always smell so good." I moaned. "Ranger in Bulgari Aqua, Tank in Obsession, Bobby in Dolce and Gabana Light Blue, Hal and his Versace Pour Homme, Lester just had to go for Santos de Cartier, Cal's is Prada Amber…and Hector's old fashion he still wears Davidoff's Cool Water." They were all looking at me like I had three heads. "What, I like the way you all smell. And I love Macy's." I said defensively.

"You are amazing! How did you do that?" Hal breathed.

"It's a talent." I've always been able to do it. "I always know. At least if it's one I've smelled before. I can identify if not the definite fragrance, I can tell you what designer's line it's from." I shrugged. "Remember Jimmy Nimsicki, FTA for first time assault. He hid in his crawl space, I knew he was down there cause I could smell his Aramis. He's been wearing it since high school."

"Wow. So nice subject change…you get points for the effort, but tell us more of what you like. What do you fantasize about?" Cal asked.

"Oh God that's easy, you guys." I said blushing again. "A few times, all of you, other times one on one…or smaller groups. Some of them are things I don't think are physically possible-"

"Like what?" Ranger asked intrigued.

"Like I can't figure out how I can get my legs opened wide enough to rub my doo-dah against Cal's tattoo." I smirked a bit. I'm almost positive that one is not possible. "And I read a story once where two guys were in the same –you know- place and I really don't think that is possible. At least not with the packages you all carry."

"Ok so, you've mentioned Cal's favorite fantasy and mine and Bobby's. Yoga could help with Cal's." Lester said coyly. "What else do you fantasize about?"

^Really, that's kind of weird.^ "Umm…I guess…I do think about anal, what it would be like to have one of you in my doo-dah, and another back there, maybe one more in my mouth. I have one that I always assumed would never happen…but maybe I was wrong. In it I'm the bottom of a Hector sandwich. He's in me while someone is in him." Ok my face is actually very close to erupting into flames right now, my cheeks are so hot.

"God, you have good fantasies." Lester breathed when he finished translating for Hector. Our waiter chose this moment to arrive. He fumbled his pen and pad to the table. Once he got himself back together, we all placed our orders. Though only Tank, Hector and I ordered dessert.

As soon as the waiter left, I turned the conversation to them. "What about you guys, what do you want to do with me?"

"We'll tell you…but only if you agree to tell us the ones you've held back after we do." Tank said giving me a deep penetrating look.

"Stupid ESP…can't you just ESP it and I not have to say them out loud?" I asked.

"Little Girl, it's not ESP. its simple truth. Something about the way women are raised… even when they are in a fully committed relationship, they tend to hold back sharing their fantasies and wants. It tends to be even worse when raised by uber-conservative people; like your mother." Tank soothed.

^Well I can't go put on more mascara, so I'll have to get my courage some other way.^ "Can you tell me yours first?" I asked.

"Sure Babe, I'll go first. While tonight I became acclimated to the thought of physically sharing you with my core team; one of my favorite fantasies is to have them watching while I spend hours teasing and tormenting you. bringing you to the brink of orgasm over and over without letting you cum, before finally letting you explode where they can all see exactly how amazingly beautiful you are when you cum." Ranger said, his voice rich and dark.

"Ohh Gawd." I moaned.

"Good fantasy boss…but way cruel. Imagine getting to see her that way and not touch. I'll go next since I'm already talking. Mine is very simple…me, you and the big showers in the locker room. I have this thing about shaving…I want to shave you completely bare, rinse you off and eat your pretty pink pussy until you are begging me to stop and trying to crawl up the wall to get some distance between us. Then I'd pull you to your feet and slide into your wet, tight pussy and fuck you until our legs won't hold us up anymore."

"Dear Lord." I breathed. I can tell you I have never been more aroused in my life, and I haven't even been really kissed in hours. My nipples were tight and hard in my bra, and I was so wet it almost felt like I had peed a bit. And oh lord there were still five more to go.

Hector spoke next, Hal translated for him. But god the rush of the Spanish language flowing around me was every bit as sensual as the fantasy itself. "_I dream of sharing a man with you Estefania, the two of us on our knees before him, his large hard cock the only thing keeping us from kissing. Out lips and tongues driving him beyond desire until he erupts all over our faces. We lick his delicious cum from each other's faces, necks, and then I lick your beautiful tits clean of him as well. As I clean your breasts, he buries his face between your thighs and he and I drive you beyond insanity. The next part would fulfill both out fantasies; I would love to feel you writhing in pleasure under me as he filled my ass over and over again…until we all exploded in the biggest orgasm of our lives."_

* * *

><p>At this point I have to tell you I'm fanning myself with my clutch. It is hellaciously hot in here…or maybe it's just me. We pause as the waiter arrives with our salads…well in my case appetizer. I have to excuse myself to the rest room…who knew that one of my dreams would come true in the Rossini's Women's restroom.<p>

I'd answered the call of nature, flushed, and cleaned up a bit. My panties were totally ruined…but they were the only ones I had with me. Note to self start carrying extra undies…incase of ruination. I exited the stall and joy of joys…who should I encounter but Mini-Barbie. "I always knew you were a whore Stephanie Plum. And look at you here with all those 'men'." She lobbed the opening salvo.

"Ok…Mini-Barbie…Do I Know you?" I asked. She was so fake, who know who she started off as.

"As if you didn't know. I'm Helen Bargalowski, Catherine Bargalowski daughter." She said.

"Oh my God…what have you done to yourself? You look like Snooki the blond version…but at least her tits are real. And her lips…you used to be cute. A little pixie looking thing." I was flabbergasted. My mom was comparing me to this and finding me lacking...is she blind or just crazy? Helen was just a year younger than me, but right now she looks closer to forty.

"You are just jealous. You'd flat chested, and a walking disaster. You wouldn't know how to act like a lady if you read a book about it. And now you are whoring yourself out to a bunch of thugs and loons." She said in her horribly nasal voice.

"Oh please. Jealous of what…Joe Morelli…been there fucked that…was bored out of my skull. You've wanted him all these years, and I bet he doesn't even remember you. Hell the only reason he was willing to bring you out tonight was to try to get the jump on the 'burg grapevine so he looks like the dumper instead of the dumpee." I returned as I washed my hands. "And I'd keep my friends out of your thoughts. Because if you say one more negative thing about them, I will leave you on this floor drowning in your own blood. And blood is all but impossible to get out of that cheap ass fabric."

She gulped and took a step back. "See this is what I mean, you have no class." She rejoined.

I laughed, turning to grab a paper towel. "I have too much class to stay here with you trailer-park Barbie. I'm going back to my table. I hope that when you poke holes in Joe's condoms to get him to marry you, you don't catch anything he may have gotten from Terri or Joyce." Ok…so I don't know for sure that Joe has been with either Joyce or Terri recently, but psychological torture is so much fun. I left her sputtering by the sink wondering how I knew her plans for the night.

* * *

><p>When I returned to the table the JLS (Justice League of Stephanie) wanted a rundown of what had happened. They noticed the tramp flouncing off to the restrooms after I headed back. We laughed our way through the rest of the course…God I love stuffed mushrooms. After the waiter brought out our entrees we returned to our real conversation. "Hal, why don't you go next?" I suggested.<p>

"Mine is pretty much nothing like the others. I want to bathe you. Run you a bubble bath and help you into it. Take my time and clean every inch of you. Then I would dry you off and lay you on the bed and starting with your sexy little toes, I'd give you a tongue bath. Worshiping your entire body until finally we made love until we fell asleep in each other's arms." Hal said a bit shyly.

"My…oh my. Hal that was beautiful." Nice to see that I'm not the only one at the table who can still blush. "Bobby? Ohh God." I moaned as I took my first bite of the Chicken Saltimbocca I'd ordered.

"This is actually how mine starts, well not in a restaurant but; all of us together, enjoying a meal…watching and listening to Stephanie eat, even feeding her. Then we strip her naked, and spend the next few hours, days playing with her body, making her cum over and over, until we are all spent and she is basically covered in our jizz." Bobby said.

"Oh…I have one like that…are you guys feeding me desserts?" I asked.

"We can be." Bobby said with a smirk. "Cal, you should go next I think Stephanie will like yours."

"She wouldn't like mine. I mean it starts with a distraction, and ends with her getting fucked against an alley wall." Cal said.

"Actually, I have that one too, Cal. Sometime it's just you and I. sometimes, we forget about the mikes and its broadcast to all of Rangeman. Don't feel bad. Not all of mine are sunshine and roses. Girls like getting fucked hard and fast sometimes just as much as guys do." I assured him, them. "What about yours Tank?" I asked. We paused and discussed some business while the waiter cleared the table and brought our desserts.

"Little Girl. You remember that really short school girl set you saw at Frederick's of Hollywood at the Mall a couple of months back…it involves you wearing it, and sitting in a mock class room. You've been a bad, bad girl; I have to take you over my knee. I turn your sexy little ass fiery red and then take you from behind over a desk." Tank rumbled.

"Check PLEASE!" I signaled the waiter. The guys must have noticed my desperation cause they had us out of the restaurant and into the stretch Hummer, that had materialized to get us here, quicker than you could blink. Once we were all alone, I began my confession. "Tank, I don't want you to think I didn't like your fantasy. Got I loved it. But it…I should just tell you what I was holding back. You know how independent I am, how stubborn I can be?" of course they all nodded. "I want to give it all up. Not for real, just sexually. I want to have you; one of you, all of you; take me. Make me yours. Tie me up and fuck me until I've screamed myself hoarse. Or spanking my ass, like Tank said, and then just lubing my ass up and fucking me there until I'm mindless with pleasure. But the thing is that my pleasure is superfluous…it's a byproduct of your pleasure, but not the main issue." I struggled to find the words for what I wanted. "I can tell you guys, cause I trust you. I trust that if we did something like that, you wouldn't treat me like that in the real world. But, god, the things I imagine you all doing to me." I gasped and shivered.

" Like Bobby, I once had a dream where you had me tied up in one of those swing things I saw at Pleasures Treasures. And you were sucking and biting my nipples until I screamed and came. It hurt so good. Or Cal in that Alley, you had my face pressed against the club wall and was fucking me so hard I got road rash on my cheek. Hal, I have had dreams where you tortured me for hours with small shocks to my breasts and clit. Ranger, you made me crawl around under the table during a briefing blowing the core team until I was so completely full, I couldn't even think of food. Lester, I dreamt of you and Hector taking turns at my body. Fucking me hard and fast until I couldn't even breathe. I mean don't get me wrong…not rape fantasies…I haven't had many of those since I was sixteen and NONE after the playground…but maybe forceful seduction. I can trust you guys not to really force me to do anything. I trust you." I said stridently…conveniently leaving out who I'd never been able to trust." I was breathing hard, so turned on, I was about ready to slide my hand between my legs and give myself a hand. I had to settle for pressing my thighs together trying to get some kind of Friction going.

Thank God the JLS all come equipped with ESP. Lester, sitting on my right and Cal, on my left put their hands on my knees. Spreading my legs as they slid their hands up my thighs. They pulled my legs up over their thighs spreading me fully, showing my drenched coral thong to Ranger and Tank across from us. Quicker than I'd ever seen him move, Ranger was between my legs ripping my thong away. He tossed it to Tank, who smelled it and groaned sexily. I had always thought that someone sniffing my panties would be a gross thing, but I found that so sexy just then, I had to look away. I looked down at Ranger just as he looked up at me; he fastened his eyes on mine and lowered his mouth to my flesh. "Oh God Yes." I shouted. I felt Ranger smile against me. That magic tongue of his started doing pushups on my clit, then sliding down to stab into my wet entrance and sucking gently to drink the wetness accumulated there. I whimpered again as I felt Lester and Cal move their hands out of Ranger's way. Two fingers were plunged into my long unused tunnel. I cried out and arched my back off the bed at the sudden intrusion.

He let me relax for a second or two and then began pumping his fingers quickly in and out, turning his palm up and curling his fingers up behind my pubic bone. "You taste so fucking good, Babe. So sweet and your cunt is so damn tight." In no time, he found my G-spot and I felt my entire abdomen melt into a puddle of goo, as hot arousal shot through me, making me break out in a sweat. He sucked my clit into his mouth and swiped at it with his tongue at lightning speed.

Lester and Cal had managed to get the top of my dress open and down around my waist. The second their hot mouths closed over my nipples, I was gone. I came harder than I even dreamed was possible. Tank's voice rose over even my cries of pleasure. "That's it Little Girl. Fuck you're beautiful when you cum. Can you cum again for us? We want to see that again." My eyes slit open and met his. "Cum again Steph. Now!" he commanded and damn if I wasn't off again.

When I came back to myself, I was in strong arms, the scent of Prada Amber surrounding me as I was being carried into the Elevator in the Garage. I can honestly say I have never wanted to be in the apartment on seven more in my life. I peeked over Cal's shoulder and saw Hector licking Ranger's fingers, on the other side Tank was passing my panties to Hal who sniffed them and put them in his pocket. Around me, they were quietly discussing the order of events to come, I'm pretty sure I am the luckiest woman on the face of the entire planet.


	4. Chapter 4 SERIOUS PANTY WARNING

**WHEN IT RAINS**

Illiandyanndra

**Stephanie Plum **

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Rating:** Eventually NC-17

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)… Anyway thanks so much to all the Reviewers, esp. Margaret Fowler. I'll try to get a workable schedule for updates; I'm very sorry for the interruption in the Postings of my other Fics…this one WOULD NOT leave me alone.

Oh & AN2: What was your favorite Fantasy from Chapter 3 Drop me a line and let me know.

**CHAPTER 4**

As soon as we got into Ranger's living room, Cal set me on my feet and my dress slithered down my skin to pool at my feet. Every one of the JLS let out a sound of arousal. I bent down to grab the dress, and all hell broke loose behind me.

"Holy Hell. I thought your ass was amazing in jeans." Lester breathed.

"Damn, Little Girl, I cannot wait until you let me take you from behind." Tank said, his voice once again thick and aroused.

I gave the boys a smile as I straightened. I shook out the dress and laid it over the back of one of the stools at the Breakfast bar. I looked around the room at my partners. Tank and Lester still stood near the door; Ranger was leaning against the wall by the mantle. Bobby had taken off his tie and jacket and made himself comfortable on the couch. Hal and Hector had taken the arm chairs, and Cal was in the process of ridding himself of his tie and Suit coat. "Well I hate to be a buzz kill but what about birth control. I'm clean and got cut before I left the military…some people shouldn't pass on their genes, but—" Cal began.

"It's safe." Bobby said confidently. "All eight of us are disease free, as of our last physicals."

"Yeah, but we'll still need to use something to make sure Stephanie doesn't become Mommy." Hal said kindly.

"No you don't." I assured them.

"Babe, you hate the pill." Ranger reminded me.

"Look, when you went into the wind that time about six months ago... Bobby helped me to convince my OBGyn to let me transition into a semi-permanent birth control method." I assured them. "No pills every day, and there was barely any weight gain. Plus best of all it has really helped on the hormone swings during that time of the month."

"That's great, Little Girl. But why did you decide to do something permanent?" Tank asked. "What if you change your mind?"

"It's semi-permanent. It lasts for five years, and it only takes like ten minutes to take out if I decide I want to have kids." I said kindly, though I'm pretty sure I won't change my mind. "As for why, well…"

***FLASHBACK, 7 months before the Date***

I've been avoiding Eddie for a week. He's called me every day, and I'm just not in the mood to babysit his kids right now. Well imagine my surprise when I get home, and find him leaning against my door. "Ok, Okay Eddie, what day do you need me to babysit?" I asked as I move him over to unlock my door.

"Steph, I wouldn't have called you two or three times a day for a week, to ask you to babysit. We need to talk." He said as he followed me inside. "Morelli is planning something that if a chick did it to him, he'd lock her in a sanitarium. Well maybe he's planning it. I mean he kinda said it like he was joking, but he sure didn't look like he was kidding."

"What Eddie?" I was getting worried. "What did he say?"

"Well look, Big Dog was teasing him about how he's always trying to get you to quit bounty hunting. Carl said the only way you'd quit is if you decided to, and there was nothing anyone could do to force you because you redefine stubborn."

Eddie related.

"Nice to know my friends know me so well." I joked. If Big Dog and Carl could figure this out…what's wrong with Joe?

Eddie rolled his eyes at the interruption. "Oh, you know we love you. Anyway…Joe then says, 'she'd have to quit if she got pregnant.' And of course we all laughed our asses off, cause we know you don't ever want to do that. But then Joe laughed and said. Who says she has to have a choice…a few pinpricks in the condom and boom…she's knocked up and has to quit her stupid job and marry me. She's no good at it anyway.' Oh please. You say that, but you know it isn't actually true. She brings in all her level skips…at least the ones that are really low level crooks. I told him, Big Dog and Carl started in on him too. Then he said he was just joking. But Steph, seriously, I wouldn't trust any condom he'd use."

***END FLASHBACK***

So a few weeks after Eddie's warning, I noticed Joe started to complain about the type of condoms I kept in my bedside table. Something told me he was really planning to try to knock me up and force me to marry him. So I came and had a talk with Bobby. I needed something tamper proof. We went through the choices and settled on the Mirena…but apparently doctors don't like to use them for women who haven't had children. It took some doing but eventually Bobby boy talked her into putting on in me. And now I'm completely Safe. As long as no one steps outside of this relationship and brings home anything nasty, it will be all good." I assured them.

Looking around I saw the strangest combination of looks on their faces. They were all angry. I could tell that they were pissed at what Joe had planned to/tried to do. I could also tell they didn't appreciate the fact that I hadn't ended it then. To be honest I had forced a break, but with Ranger in the wind and my mother beating at me, I eventually caved and took him back. There was also the a look I'd been seeing in their eyes for a very long time, but until tonight I'd mistaken it for brotherly affection rather than actual love. But the main thing I saw in their eyes was pure unadulterated lust. The intensity of their desire for me was almost palpable.

"You guys ok? You're looking at me weird." I finally asked after the silence grew too loud.

"Multiplication Tables." Tank muttered.

"Baseball stats." Cal groaned.

"Corpses." Bobby said desperately.

"Grandma Mazur at a closed casket funeral." Lester said triumphantly.

"Yeah, that worked." They all said, and suddenly the level of sexual tension in the room ratcheted down a bit.

"Sorry Little One." Tank began. He settled himself on the sofa and pulled me onto his lap. "But it's been so long since any of us went bare, been able to go bare. I mean you really can't afford to when you are with the barflys, or the uni-hos." He must have felt my confusion. "Some club chicks and barflys get really hot and bothered by the military types. Others like the thought of a check and a hubby who is either out of the country a lot." Tanks large hands had started to drift. He spread my legs to either side of his thighs, and slipped one hand in between my thighs. "Poor Hal, I doubt he's ever experienced it at all. The thought of being inside you has us all hard," as he spoke, he was gently, maddeningly, teasingly circling my entrance, dragging the wetness he found there up and smearing it over my clit, "but God above the thought of fucking you bareback. Feeling every millimeter of your slick, wet, tight, little cunt on out cocks." he slipped his long thick finger into me. Slowly fingering me, making me hotter and hornier as he teased me. "Little One, Stephanie, the thought of feeling you squeezing my dick, without anything getting between, well for every man jack of us, it was so arousing that we had to try to combat it. come up with something, anything that would keep us from cumming in our pants like teens."

"And my Grandmother at a funeral beat out corpses…you guys must have been really hard up." I joked. "If it makes you feel any better, I've never had sex without a condom either." I said panting. Just the thought of getting fucked by all of them, I could almost feel how squishy and slippery and slimey I would be after seven loads had been deposited in my doo-dah. "Oh GOD." I cried out as I tumbled into orgasm again. Tank kept finger-fucking me, driving me to orgasm over and over. By the time he let me down, he and I were the only ones still dressed.

Hal stepped in front of us. He pulled me to my feet and took my mouth with his. His kiss was softer than Ranger's. It was deep and slow and sexy. His tongue teasing every where it could touch. His hands made short work of my bra, leaving me naked now, except my Fuck Me Pumps, the slide of them down my back was incredibly erotic. And the way he grabbed my ass made me melt even more…if that was possible. Somehow, without breaking the kiss, Hal picked me up, and lowered me onto his waiting eight inches of long hard pleasure. It was I who broke the kiss to scream out to the heavens as an orgasm crashed into me.

The second his mouth was free, Hal began to babble sexily. "Oh dear God. I'm not gonna last. Fuck, she's so hot. So tight. Steph, you feel so fucking good." He pulled me up and lowered me again. "Shit. I'm gonna pop faster than I did my first time. God you are so damn wet. Did we make you this wet? Who do you belong to Stephanie?" He groaned.

"You. God, Hal, you and Tank. Ranger, and Lester, Bobby and Cal and Hector." I screamed as I came again.

Something in Hector must have broken hearing that, because when Hal lowered me back down again, I felt the most indescribably intense thing. Hector's tongue sweeping over Hal's balls, and up and across my rosebud. I came so hard, I have no idea what happened next. I vaguely heard Hal roar, and I could feel him pounding into me. I even can tell you that when he came shortly thereafter he shot seven hot, strong streams of cum into me. That knocked the intensity of my orgasm up even more.

My skin was so sensitive that when Lester pulled me from Hal's quaking arms, I started to keen and beg. "Lester. I need you. Need you inside me. Please."

Lester being Lester just had to tease me. He laid me on the coffee table and licked and suckled my nipples. Back and forth; before an eternity of begging and writhing later, he finally pushed his cock into me. "ey Dios Mio. Holy mother of God. Beautiful. You have the tightest pussy I've ever fucked. Shit. I never thought I'd like seconds but oh fuck there's something really fucking sexy about this. Fuck you are so fucking wet." Lester got serious. His hands hard, almost bruising on my ass. His mouth alternated between deep drugging kisses and some of the most filthy sex talk I've ever heard. And I came and came and came.

I felt Lester explode inside me and almost before I could understand that I was empty once again Bobby was shoving his big hard dick into my grasping sucking pussy. "Sorry Bomber. I couldn't wait. I've wanted you too long, and hearing you…watching you scream and fly apart. Watching your eyes go bluer than the hottest flame, and your skin flush…DAMN. Shit you feel so fucking good. Cum again…show us how much you want us. Cum Now!"

I couldn't help myself. I came, I came and I begged for more. Ranger joined us. He knelt over my head, where it hung over the side of the coffee table. And he tempted me. Rubbing his hands over my breasts and down my stomach to tease my clit, he began to work his magic. "Babe…talk to us. Tell us what Bobby is doing to you."

"He's, oh God, he's inside of me." I tried.

"No, Babe. Tell us what he's doing to you." Ranger taunted. When I hesitated, he continued. "Tell us. We want to hear you use sex words. Babe. Tell us…or he'll stop."

"God, no Ranger, please he feels so Good." I moaned. "He's fucking me. He's fucking me with his big hard cock." I groaned arching up, thrusting up into Bobby's downward stroke. "I can feel my juices all mixed with Hal's and Lester's running down the crack of my ass. I'm so wet. Please."

"Good Girl, Babe." Ranger praised me. He twisted my nipples sending me screaming into yet another orgasm.

Bobby's pumping lost rhythm as he started to hard stroke me with the erratic fast strokes that signaled his own approaching orgasm. "Fuck Bomber. Take it take my spunk. Filling you up. Love you so much, our sexy little slut. Ours. FUCK!" Bobby yelled.

Bobby curled around me pulling me up from the table without pulling away from me. "Who do you want next, Bomber?" he whispered. I whispered a name and soon found myself wrapped in the scent of Prada Amber yet again.

"Oh, God Bombshell, how is it you smell even better after getting fucked hard and fast by three men?" Cal asked right before he lowered me to the floor. He kissed his way to my ear. "I can take you slow and easy, take my time with your sexy little body. Wanna know why?" he taunted me. His breath hot and arousing in my ear.

"Yeah." I nodded writhing under him already.

"Cause Lester is right…Hector does give great head." Cal replied before catching my earlobe in his teeth.

I arched up and moaned. "No Fair, I wanted to watch."

"Don't worry, you can watch another time." He said as he kissed his way to my breasts. "I love your tits, you probably think they aren't big enough…but they are like two peaches. So soft, and so very sensitive." Cal lavished attention on my nipples, driving me crazy. Making me beg, before he drifted down over my stomach, pausing to dip his tongue into my belly button, he continued further.

When I felt his mouth on me, there, I was shocked into an orgasm. It felt so good, but I'd assumed that none of them would be comfortable licking my doo-dah after the others had cum in there. "Oh my God, Fuck. CAL!" I screamed. As I was cresting on my third oral orgasm, Cal slipped his cock into me. "Ohhhh Yesss…" I hissed as my orgasm became fuller, stronger.

"Shit. You are so tight. So wet. So beautiful." He said dreamily as he slowly made love to me. I'd felt the love in the arms and touch of each of my lovers tonight, but Cal's was slower, and sweeter. "Love fucking you, Bombshell. Loved you for almost a year." He said. His mouth was next to my ear, as he slowly but surely brought me to orgasm after orgasm. Finally after a marathon of peeks and more peeks, Cal ground himself against my clit, and erupted inside me.

Hector came to me next. He and Tank. "_Nina Bombardera, will you share Tank with me. Together, we can suck his cock…then while he takes you like the perro, you can suck mine_." He said in one ear while Tank translated in the other.

"Will you let me take you from behind, Little One." Tank said suggestively. He was sliding his hand over my side and butt. I arched into his hand and nodded. "I want the words, Stephanie."

"Yes, Tank…I'll share your cock with Hector, and then you can take me from behind, while I use my mouth to give Hector pleasure." I made sure to play up the hoarse husky sound of my voice. I've been screaming in pleasure for hours, and even I thought that my voice sounded sexy. Hector and I knelt in front of Tank, like two peasants worshiping at the feet of a god. I leaned in and took the large head of Tank's massive cock into my mouth. Hector occupied himself by licking the shaft, as he moistened it I was able to slowly sink further and further forward.

When I'd run out of mouth, I pulled back and took over the shaft work, while Hector took as much of Tank into his mouth as he could. He got quite a bit further than I did, but still nowhere near all the way down. I moved back to watch his technique for a minute. And yes, I was watching his technique, not perving on the sensual site before me. Maybe my hand ended up pinching my nipples and playing with my pussy a bit…but who wouldn't…hey, learning can be fun.

"Get on your hands and knees, Little One. Face away from me." I did as he asked. And when I did, Tank let out a loud grown. "Wriggle your sexy little ass for us, Steph."

How does following commands make me feel so powerful? No clue. Probably, it is the fact that when I wriggled my hips Tank and Hector both let out a slew of curses. So I did it again. Ooh maybe a bit too much wriggle that time. Bare sex is messy…oh GOD! Hector, I think its Hector is licking up the cum that just seeped out of me. Damn, I'm clean. Oh well. Hector moves around in front of me as Tank kneels behind me.

I lick Hector from base to tip, as Tank slips his HUGE, ^holy fuck. I don't know if I can take the whole thing^, cock into me. Back and forth I'm rocked as I work my mouth and tongue onto Hector's cock. Once again I'm struck by how different I feel using my mouth on my JLS than I ever, ever felt blowing Joe or Dickie. I guess no matter what the sexual act, love makes a big difference. I slurp and suck, taking time to work my tongue over Hector's balls and even taking the sack into my mouth and sucking it. Hector, while large in the grand scheme of things, was considerably smaller than Tank, so I was able you work my mouth and throat all the way down his dick, until me nose was buried in the silky black curls at his base. I had a naughty thought, so I shifted a bit and was able to use my fingers to capture some of the juices leaking from around Tank's rocking cock; I tore my mind from how good it felt as Tank thrust forward two inches, before retreating one, working himself in slow and easy; I lifted my slick fingers and pressed them gently against the entrance to Hector's ass. I was careful and gentle as I worked my finger into his ass. Hector was murmuring something in Spanish. But without a translator, I could only understand. "Yes, good very good, and God." So I took it to mean I was doing a good job. My body stole my thought as I screamed around Hector's cock. I came swiftly, unexpectantly. Damn Tank was good. Apparently so was I because Hector was yelling in "_Ey Dios Mio, Estefania!_" and spurting a large amount of cum down my throat. He pulled out and let some splatter over my face and neck.

I was still cumming strong and hard, when Tank's hand came down on my ass with a smack. "Oh my fucking, God. Please. Please Tank…Fuck me, spank my ass." Tank, being the wonderful man that he is complied. He fucked me hard and spanked me harder. In three more strokes, I came so hard, I started to cry. "Please Tank, feels soooo good. Need, please. Need. You. oh God." My back arched and I was gone again.

"Shit, Little One. I can feel your little cunt sucking me back in every time I pull back. Damn. You're so tight and so fucking wet. You feel so good baby. So damn good. I'm gonna cum. But I'm not cumming on you. I want to see my cum on your sexy red ass. Ask me nicely to cum on your ass." Tank taunted.

I didn't just ask nicely…I begged. "Please Tank. Cum on me. Cum on my ass. Is it red, fuck, cum on me. Bobby said I was your slut…make me your slut Tank. Cum on me. God yes…please, Tank, Please!"

"Shit!" Tank ROARED, as he yanked out of me and I felt his cum splatter the hot cheeks of my ass, driving me once more into the grips of one hell of an orgasm.

When he released the death grip his free hand had on my hip, I collapsed. I lay there shivering and shaking, still in the throes of my passion. I have never cum so much in one night in my entire life. The closest, of course, being my night with Ranger. Speaking of I'm enveloped in Bulgari and lifted. Ranger is nuzzling my hair as he kisses my neck, talking the whole while. "I never knew how much I wanted this, Babe. I thought I wanted to be yours and you be mine alone. But I would have missed out on so much. Watching you with Hal was sexy, watching you with Lester was mind-blowing, watching you with Bobby was hot, watching you with Cal was sensual, watching you with Tank and Hector was the most fucking erotic thing I've seen in my life. I love you more today than ever before, and I didn't think that was possible."

I sighed into his kiss as he lowered us to the couch. He lifted me up and brought me down gently onto his erection. I hissed in pleasure. Ranger let out a string of curses. "How the hell are you even tighter tonight than before?" He groaned into my ear. "So tight. So good. So fucking wet." He smiled against my mouth, before pushing my sweaty curls out of my face. "Want to go for a ride, Babe? Can you, or do you need me to control you?" Ranger asked.

I tested my ability to actually move without outside assistance. I raised and lowered myself on Ranger's turgid staff. "Oh God." I started to ride him. I braced my hands on the back of the sofa and rocked my hips. It started off slow and steady, carefully rolling my hips. Then as his hands found my hard nipples, I moved faster, coming up higher and higher before slamming back down.

"That's it, Babe. Fuck your pretty little pussy with my cock. You've enjoyed the power tonight haven't you, Babe, all of us at your beck and call. Seven rock hard cocks all for you. God you…so damn tight…Merde, so wet, Mierda, so GOOD!" he yelled. Before grabbing my hips and taking control.

I leaned close to his ear. "They are watching us…just like in your fantasy." Ranger's head fell back in passion.

"Yeah. Fuck you feel good." He breathed, before he turned the tables on me. "Soon, I'll have you riding me and you will have another cock in your sexy little ass. It will feel so fucking good, Babe. You will love how full you'll feel. But we'll make you beg; beg us to fill you up. Beg us to take you there, fuck you in your tiny little ass."

"Oh God!" I cried out. Ranger said something to Hector in Spanish, and his grip on my hips changed. Now he cradled my ass, lifting and spreading my cheeks. Then I felt Hector's delicious tongue lapping at my ass. This time it seemed almost as if he was frenching it, licking and tonguing, as Hector was working his oral magic on my ass I felt Ranger's cock swell inside me, signaling his imminent orgasm and I was gone. I'd had many what I used to think of as doomsday orgasms tonight…but this orgasm blew them all out the water. "Please, Please…God, thank you. Thank you...so good. So fucking good." I screamed, and promptly passed out.


	5. Chapter5 Probably not for Public Reading

**WHEN IT RAINS**

Illiandyanndra

**Stephanie Plum **

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Rating:** Eventually NC-17

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)… Anyway thanks so much to all the Reviewers, esp. Margaret Fowler. I'll try to get a workable schedule for updates; I'm very sorry for the interruption in the Postings of my other Fics…this one WOULD NOT leave me alone.

Oh & AN2: What was your favorite Fantasy from Chapter 3 Drop me a line and let me know.

**CHAPTER 5**

**Hector's PoV**

Little Bomber Girl was so far gone, knocked out but the sheer volume and intensity of her many, many orgasms, that she didn't even awaken as Hal and I washed her up and put her to bed. As soon as she was in bed the rest of us gathered in the living room to discuss well, everything. Thank God all of the core team speaks Spanish. For while I can read and even write it well, my spoken English is terrible. So I usually just let them translate for me.

"_What do you think morning will bring_?" I asked.

"_Well, I suppose it will bring questions. How do we handle this?_" Cal began. "_Not to be funny but we will need a better living situation. I don't want to have to let her go back to that death trap of an apartment of hers every night._"

"_Yeah, especially with Morelli out for blood_." Lester said with concern.

"_So let's stop, take a moment and lay out our major concerns."_ Ranger said stepping forward.

"_Housing, protecting Bomber from Morelli and the Burg grapevine and getting that Little Girl to agree to training._" Tank said, stating the most vital to all present.

"_Making sure we let it be known that Bombshell is completely off the market_." Hal said shyly.

"_I have a feeling that last one won't be much of a problem. We would seem to be a bunch of vampires. Little Bomber Girl has many hickeys. She will be very angry when she notices them_," I said unapologetically. "_I would like to suggest we either train her with another of the younger guys, or perhaps bring in her friend, the loud big black woman; and train them together. I think that if any of us partner with her we may end up doing harm to our relationship with her._"

"_How so?"_ Bobby asked.

"_We all love her. We are all so in love with her, we cannot see straight. Any of us would fight, kill and die for her. But our Little Bomber Girl, she is very independent. If one of us partner her I can see us taking over for her far too often. Our Girl needs to gain confidence in her inherent skills, and she needs to develop her physical skills. We can support her in this, but all of us are far too 'Alpha Male' to be able to sideline ourselves while she works on this. Besides, we'd all be before TPD for excessive force in a week."_ I answered truthfully.

I watch as each man struggled with the truth of my words. One by one they nodded, acknowledging their agreement. "_So one of the young bucks, or Lula?_" Lester asked.

"_Before we begin that debate, we owe Lula big time. If not for her telling Stephanie that she was ok with all this. And that she wanted Steph to be happy even if it meant with me, with us, that she was good with it. She even told Steph that we loved Our Girl, I doubt tonight would have happened without Lula."_ Tank advised. "_Lula even went into the cop shop for Steph_."

We all had to laugh at that one. Over the years each of us has had to give Little Bomber Girl a ride because of Lula's inability to be around cops for more than 2 minutes. "_Well perhaps we train Lula and Estefania together and with a 'backup partner' that way_ _we are covered in case of an emergency, and it really is time we bring some of the younger guys in on the Bombshell Protocols. Besides, even if we keep the exact nature of our relationship quiet, Little Bomber Girl will tell her Granny. So Edna may lay off us…but she will want more eye candy."_

The guys gave an involuntary shudder at the thought of being Edna Mazur's eye candy…but I like Estefania's Grandmother. She is a feisty old bird, and every bit as curious as Our Girl. It is funny to try to wonder how much Little Bomber Girl will be like Edna when she is the little gray haired old lady.

"_Well then, which Merry Man for the third wheel?_" Cal asked.

"_It has to be one that actually talks, you know how much she hates it when we don't_." Ranger pointed out.

"_That leaves out Woody and Caesar_." Tank said with a laugh.

"_What about Blinkie or Brett?"_ Lester suggested.

"_Neither of them can blend well enough._" I told them.

"_What about Manny? He loves her, has ever since she pretended to be his wife, just to check on him. He doesn't talk much, but he talks to her. And he is the only not gay male I know who likes to shop_." Bobby suggested. "_No offense Hector_."

"_No offense taken, I __am__ gay, and I hate shopping with Estefania…is dangerous_." I returned with a chuckle.

"_So consensus reached? Manny will be the third partner for Stephanie and Lula?"_ Ranger said cautiously. "_Suggestions for how to get Babe to let us train her."_

"_Ask her and say please."_ Lester said half joking. We all gave him stark looks. "_What? I cannot have been the only one to noticed that the best way to get Beautiful to do anything is to ask politely and if all else fails turn on the please. I got out of taking her Grandma to Pleasures Treasures with a please."_

"_Stephanie does prefer to have choices. That's what ultimately made sure she and the cop never worked. He was always trying to lay out what she was going to do…ordering her about like he was her dad_." Hal said reasonably. "_So we just ask her. Let her know we are hoping that she will get training in the physical part of this work, so that we don't need to worry about her so much. Let her know it's because we love her for who she is that we want her to be the best Stephanie that she can be." _

We all exchanged looks. Could it really be that simple? It makes an Estefania kind of sense. "_Do you think it would work to ask her to cut down her sugar, since decreased sugar intake increases her sex drive?" _I asked, not really joking at all.

"_Oh my God. Don't even joke like that. She just had seven hours of straight sex, and I'm fairly certain that after some sleep and some food, she'll be raring to go again. If she gave up sugar all together, she'll do what many dictators and drug lords have tried to do. She will kill us."_ Cal said. He actually sounded like he was looking forward to trying to keep up with a sugarless Estefania.

Lester started to laugh. "_Bullshit, my man, I for one look forward to the challenge. There are seven of us. Even if she were to go completely off sugar AND Ranger got called again…we should be able to work it out_."

I shrugged. "_Personally, I agree with Lester. While men cannot have as much sex as women can there are seven of us. Since the government contract specifies that no more than two of the core team can be called off grid at any one time, we should be able to handle Little Bomber Girl's appetites. Worse comes to worse, we try it and if we have to work it like a lab experiment…see what amounts of sugar and sex equal the happiest Estefania."_

"_So we've got a plan on the job safety and physical fitness, hardest question… emotional safety_." Tank said, moving us along.

"_I know it's easy for us to say, since it wouldn't really be all that bad for us. First of all we are men and we aren't locals…not really; but man, I really don't want to have to hide this_." Bobby said with a sad shake of his head.

We all silently agreed. "_Perhaps, since the negative fallout would all be pretty much on Bomber, maybe we should let her decide how she wants to play this." Lester said sagely. "She may not want to hide this anymore than we do. I mean she may want to hide it from some or just for a while…but you know Steph, we all know how she is."_

And we did. Estefania truly loves. It is why she tried so hard to make it work with that asshole of a cop. Because she loves her mother and while she isn't in love with him; she even loves Morelli.

Before we could discuss it any further, we heard Estefania walk through and enter the kitchen. Moments later she came out looking like sex walking in one of Ranger's black tees and eating a banana.

**Stephanie PoV**

"Ok, Ranger, you need to at least get some real peanut butter, bread and olives if I'm gonna be here more often." I said looking around the room. All the actual seats were taken. There was a time when I would have sat on the floor, or on the coffee table…then again there was a time when I would not have walked into this room of seven of the hottest men ever created in nothing but one of their tee-shirt. With a smile, I plopped down into Lester's boxer covered lap. "So what were you guys talking about…all in Spanish, so I couldn't even eavesdrop?" I joked.

"Oh this and that." Lester said teasingly, trailing his hand up and down my thigh. "We are about to try to figure out living arrangements.

"What do you mean?" I asked a bit confused. Huh. I don't really feel panicked or freaked or anything like I usually felt when Morelli would elude to something like living together.

Ranger gave me one of his searching looks, the one where I wish occlumency was actually real, cause I'm fairly sure he's reading my mind. "Well ultimate best case scenario would be a large house with room for each of us to have a separate space but for there to be a large room, maybe with a custom bed, where we can have nights like this."

"Great dream…and maybe I wouldn't wake up alone after…but Ranger, that sounds expensive." I said with a sad sigh.

"it could be ; but it would be divided by eight. Perhaps we could tempt Ella and Luis away to live and work on site there if you like." He said trying to sweeten the pot.

"Maybe…but I mean." I said unsure how to say that I was broker than a joke.

"Look Bomber if we each kick in ten grand that would give us eighty thousand for a down payment. That could buy a lot of house. Then we could have a community account where we each put 20 to 30 percent of our weekly take home that will easily cover the mortgage and utilities. And our security system would be free, we know people you know." Bobby assured me.

"Yeah and that works great for you guys." I mumbled.

"It can work great for you too Babe. Just come back to Rangeman. Look if we absorb you and Lula into Rangeman, and take on all Vinnie's skips under the same terms we have for the high end ones, you two would get fifteen percent of the skips under five grand and Twenty percent of the ones under fifty. You two would have to agree to get real training, here with us. On guns and take down techniques. But to be honest we were going to ask you to do that anyway. We don't want to change you, but we would like to support you in getting the tools you need to excel at this job." Ranger said gently. I knew they had been talking about me. But what he said made way too much sense to just disreguard.

"We'd have benefits and everything?" I asked.

"Yes. But Lula would have to wear a uniform…she can express herself with her hair, as long as it can be hidden during night takedowns if necessary." Tank advised.

"Maybe…actually I can probably talk her into it when I tell her the benefits package." I said starting to get a bit excited. That had solved the two biggest reasons I never came here full time. I didn't want to leave Lula alone at Vinnie's and I didn't want to leave my slime ball cousin out to dry when it came to the little bonds. "But that still doesn't change the fact that I don't have anything to put in for the down payment."

All the guys looked at me like I was crazy. Then their ESP seemed to kick in and they looked at Ranger. The head Rangeman actually looked a bit guilty. "uhh, that's not entirely accurate."

"What do you mean?" I asked. It was accurate. I was broke.

Ranger stood and started to pace. "Stephanie, sometimes when you help us with distractions, how much do you let me give you?"

"Depends on how much I need to make rent that particular time. Usually no more than one thousand." I answered truthfully.

"Well Bomber, I think what happens is during those times when it is a really large bond, Ranger's been setting aside the money you don't take for you anyway." Bobby said giving Ranger a hard look.

"What was I supposed to do? The one time I tried to give you the bonus, you refused to accept it." he said glaring at me. He turned to the rest of the guys. "She came in and tore the check up and said that she couldn't accept it when she hadn't done anything all that difficult."

"Yeah, I did. I didn't do anything. I just got slutted up and lead some skip out of the club by his nose. No biggie." I reiterated, yet again.

"Bomber, do you realize that since you started doing distractions, our capture rates are through the roof. Even more our insurance rates are down. We no longer have to pay out as much for repairs to establishments for damages incurred when getting skips out of crowded places. And because we can send you in and get them out quickly and quietly, we don't have to try to corner them on Stark Street or somewhere where the skip has more backup than we do." Bobby explained.

Ranger gave me one of his almost smiles. "You have saved us injuries and down time Babe. You have earned every penny. That's why I can't just pocket money that is rightfully yours."

I blushed beet red as I remembered that. "Ok. Thank you Ranger. I guess. How much do I have?" He mumbled something. And the guys nearest to him started to laugh. "What?" I asked again.

Ranger sighed…in a manly way of course. "Just under two hundred thousand." No way had I done THAT many high dollar distractions. That was way too much. I gave him a glare, clearly asking for an explanation. "Well I couldn't just let the money sit there. I mean yeah it's in an interest baring account; but maybe I have created you a bit of a portfolio." Next thing I know Ranger and I are going back and forth discussing the diversification of the portfolio and the nature of the account verses what other types of investments he could have chosen.

All too soon he and I noticed the silence of the other guys. "What?" I asked seeing the enthralled looks of shock and awe on their faces. "I do have a business degree guys. I'm sure it came up on the back ground check you ran. Remember?"

"Hell no. You mean all this time; I've been busting my ass doing the paperwork whenever Ranger is in the wind, while you are sitting on a business degree." Tank said with a tinge of real anger. "Where from?"

Ok weird reaction. "Monmouth…Class of 2000, Magna cum Laude." I said with quite a bit of pride. Everyone always forgets I have a degree. Then again maybe Tank didn't know, it's not something that comes up in daily conversation when you are chasing skips or hiding from stalkers.

"Alright original offer still on the table, however instead of doing searches during your in office time, you my dear have been promoted to VP of Financial Affairs. And I am never trying to figure out another spreadsheet as long as I live." Tank growled.

"Um can you do that?" I asked.

"Yeah, Babe, he can. Tank is on the board." Ranger said with a smile. "And he really, Really hates paperwork."

"Ohhh can I have a secretary…it can be Lula…I've always wanted a secretary." I said half joking.

"Actually if you take over the client research as well…be our first line of defense against unnecessary, or untenable, or even just undesirable appointments, you can have Lula, Manny and Ram as your department, and an actual secretary as long as they pass the screening process. Ram is my go to man for creating the spreadsheets we use here. He doesn't have a degree but he is Microsoft certified." Ranger offered.

"And I can still do field work and skip tracing." I asked to make sure.

"None of us stay in the office all forty hours, Beautiful. It would make us crazy." Lester said seriously.

"And I wouldn't have to wear pantyhose." I asked for clarification.

"Maybe on board meeting days." Tank said. Those must be Corporate Ranger and Tank days. "But if you hate pantyhose that much get a garter belt and stockings." He said with a wolf like smile.

I could feel Lester growing under my bottom. "I wish we had all gotten together before the first time by apartment got firebombed…I had so much lovely lingerie from when I worked as a buyer." I sighed…before I gave a little booty wiggle.

"Steph…we know how independent you are. But you have to know that we want to take care of you…so if we walk in with a just because gift…you aren't going to jump down our throats; will you?" Hal asked cautiously. "Cause I can promise you…lingerie will not be a problem if we can give you gifts without you getting pissed."

"I promise to try to not be bitchy. I just have some left over issues from ghosts of ex-husbands past…but as long as those gifts don't include aprons and cookbooks…I think I'll be good." I say with a smile. "But nothing too expensive."

"No promises." They all said as one.

"So, I will call my realtor and lay out what we are looking for tomorrow." Ranger said decisively. "I personally, would like to have a few extra bedrooms; one that can be Julie's if she ever comes for a visit. Any other requests?"

"Finished basement, and media room." Lester said.

"Top floor bonus room with full bathroom. We can turn that into the master bedroom for all eight of us." Cal recommended.

"Are you guys really gonna be able to sleep in a puppy pile like that?" I asked. "I mean I'm sure that Hector and I will be good but what about the rest of you?"

They laughed at me, all of them. "Babe, we had trouble adjust to sleeping without hearing the others when we first got out. So I'm thinking the 'puppy pile' won't be that big a deal." Ranger spoke for the group.

"_I would like the house to be completely wired for high speed internet and wifi_." Hector added, with Cal translating for him.

"Ella will want a very modern kitchen…it will need to have somewhere on the property for Ella and Luis to live." I said. "BIG closets, and maybe a pool. I'm willing to go as high as twenty grand for my share of the down payment for a pool, especially if it has a hot tub too."

"We may all have to up our initial deposit. Even with housing costs down right now… we are still looking at only new builds in the last two years, with some fairly high end amenities." Bobby said thoughtfully.

We all agreed that we were ok with that and I assumed we'd be able to return to more pleasurable pursuits, but nope. "Ok Housing settled. Job and personal safety and training have been addressed. So last question to deal with, how to deal with the relationship in public." Tank said in his staff meeting agenda voice.

"Here it's out and proud." I said when I realized that they were all looking at me. Clearly indicating that it was all up to me. I could see why. As the only female in this relationship, I'd be facing the most censure. Then you add the 'burg and my mother into this and yeah… I definitely have the most to lose. "Lula and Connie will be in the know as will Mary Lou. I refuse to hide the fact that I love you guys and that you love me. So if people figure it out fine. If they don't well they obviously aren't close to us in the first place. How are you going to handle your families?" I asked curiously.

"_My mother will be happy I'm involved with a woman at all."_ Hector joked. "_She asked me if I couldn't just be bisexual years ago._"

"My mothers won't care at all." Hal said with a small smile. "This might, in fact, make them really happy. They were worried that I was turning conventional." We all had a bit of a laugh at that.

Lester shivered under me as I giggled. "My parents may have a bit of trouble with my sharing a woman with my cousin. They may see it as being kind of incestuous. But, probably, that will be their only problem. Nothing I do surprises them any more…My mom may do a happy dance that I'm settling down, even if the way I choose to do so is rather not normal."

"My mother won't bat an eye…she'll just start asking if you are planning to have kids. And if you do can they call her Nana." He shrugs. "Me and my brothers all got vasectomies as soon as we could. None of us want to pass on our father's genes. This is the closest she'd ever get."

"Well if we ever do decide to have kids, she can be Nana. If my mother doesn't disown me, she'll be Grandma, like she is for Mary Alice, Angie and Little Lisa." I joked.

"Umm Stephanie…I should probably let you know since I was there when Lisa was born, and I figured that that was the closest I'd ever get to having a kid…and hey it still maybe…I kind of set her up one of those college annuities. It's not state specific, so as long as she goes to a US school she'll have some cash to go." Cal confessed.

"Maybe after Cal told me about setting one up for Little Lisa, Tank, Bobby and I set one up for Mary Alice." Lester confessed from behind me.

"What nobody got Angie?" I joked, shocked when Hector and Hal raised their hand.

"_Si, I set one up for Angie, is small. But I figured once she found a husband she would probably drop out anyway_." Hector said. "If _she goes to a state school it will be enough for all four years."_

^That's so sweet.^ I thought aloud, still wriggling and snuggling on Lester's lap. "But why?"

"You have no idea how long we've loved you Bomber. It's not even just the fact that you see us. That you care for us when no one else will…you are so special. And there is so much of you in Mary Alice. So when Cal said he was gonna make sure Lisa had the money for school, Lester, and Tank and I decided that we would make sure Mary Alice had to money to go where ever she wanted…just in case she needed to get far from the 'burg. And her mom."

"It wouldn't have been fair for the other two girls to have one and not Angie. So Hector and I put together a small annuity for Angie." Hal said.

"You guys are the absolute best men I've ever known." I said. Then with a dirty smile. I shucked off the tee shirt. I'd been wriggling on Lester's lap for long enough that he was at attention. So I rose up and slowly slid down his dick. We both let our loud groans. "Huummm sooo gooooodddd." I groaned. "You guys, ignore us. Continue working our logistics…I just need to come a few more times. Then I can focus again."

Lester slid his hand up my thigh to tease my clit and Bobby deserted the conversation to kneel between our spread legs and suck on my diamond hard nipples. The two of them worked together as good partners should and drove me over the edge into an orgasm quicker than I thought possible. Apparently all my teasing to get him hard had left Lester closer to the edge than I realized, because when I came, he followed me. As soon as Lester finished cumming, Bobby lifted me off his cock, tilted my hips forward and slid himself into me.

It was an interesting sensation to be sitting on one guy's lap while getting fucked by another. It became an exquisite sensation when Lester began to use his hands in delicious ways. First teasing and twisting my nipples, then slinking down my belly to play with my clit, while Bobby pumped in and out of me. "God, I'm a sick man, Beautiful. I cannot tell you how fucking hot it is watching Bobby fucking your tight, tiny, wet, little pussy. Knowing that you are just a little bet extra juicy because I just blew my load in your creamy little body."

I could feel Lester growing hard again. He didn't try to enter me, but he did pull his dick up between Bobby and the outer lips of my doo-dah. I could tell that Bobby was getting me and Lester off and that sent me skyrocketing. "Fuck us…Fuck us Bobby. Lester's got his cock right against me…my, my pussy. So when you're fucking me…really you are fucking us both."

"Shit, that's really damn hot." I heard Cal breathe I looked to my right and there he was close enough to kiss, so I did. I love kissing and the JLS are masters of the art. Very soon I was screaming into Cal's mouth as I came again.

Bobby was determined to make both Lester and I cum however, so he held back. "Fuck you are gonna kill me. Bomber, that felt so damn good. The way your little pussy sucks at my cock so hard when you cum." He hissed in my ear. He kept fucking me until I came screaming, and Lester's cum erupted over my stomach and Bobby's six pack abs. then and only after he was satisfied that we were taken care of did Bobby throw back his head and yell to the heavens as he came. "Holy Fuck. SO GOOOOODDDD!"

Bobby fell to the left and onto the couch spot he'd vacated on the couch. Before I knew it, Cal was on his knees licking me clean. His tongue drove me crazy laving over super sensitive skin. "Tastes so good." He said as he licked and sucked me clean. The big bald bad ass with the flaming skull tattoo was purring like a big cat as he cleaned me up and made me cum again. I was lost in my orgasm when Cal slid into me turning my keening orgasm into a screaming one. Cal picked me up and walked me back to the arm chair he'd been sitting in before. He sat down and let me have control, for a moment before he pulled me down to whisper, "I've always wanted to try that, but you are the only woman I can trust not to think less of me." I gave him a hug as I rode him gently. We went slow and steady until we both reached a very fulfilling, yet rather tender completion.

I leaned forward. "I love you. Thank you for trusting me." He gave me another bone melting kiss before helping me get my legs back under me.

As soon as I was standing, I was pulled back against Ranger. "Do you have any idea how sexy it is to see you covered in our marks, sweaty and panting, screaming our names? How are we supposed to control ourselves in public now?" he growled into my ear as he ground his erection against my ass. He turned me around so that I was facing Tank...then slowly he bent me forward until I could take the head of Tank's cock into my mouth. As he slid into me from behind, he started talking again. "I tried, Babe…I tried not to love you. I knew I wasn't right in the head any more. So I tried to keep you safe…but now you are ours. Out there you are strong, independent, fierce, Bombshell the Bounty Hunter. Stephanie Plum. But alone with us. You are ours. Every inch of you is ours to love," Long stroke. "To kiss." He dotted kisses down my back, "ours to suck, ours to bite." Pretty sure that's a hickey. "Ours to pleasure, and ours to fuck." Thus saying he began to pound into me. Forcing me up and down on Tank's cock, further than I probably would have gone on my own, but it felt so good. Before I knew it I had taken Tank's cock two thirds of the way down my throat. Ranger wet a finger in the liquids that were leaking from my very happy doo-dah, and pressed it into my butt. I came screaming in pleasure around Tank's cock. Tank came hard, roaring his satisfaction as he poured his pleasure directly into my stomach.

Ranger, he helped me lean back up, even as he kept pounding into me. "You are ours. Our lover…our whore…our Babe, our Bomber, our Beautiful. Our _Little Bomber Girl, _our Little one…our pleasure…our slut… our love."

"God yes, Ranger. I belong to all of you. My Justice League." I groaned. "But you are mine too."

"You've had us longer than you know." Hal said as he moved in front of me, kissing me deeply. He stepped back and Ranger bent me back over to blow Hal. I worked my tongue over him, sucking him deeply, making him cum with my mouth and tongue and hands. When he came in my mouth, I held it, waving Hector over. When Hector joined me, I kissed him sharing Hal's taste with him.

We pulled apart, both of us smiling. Hector kneeled in front of my, licking and sucking my clit and Ranger's balls. Forcing the man of mystery to lose control. When Ranger came he yelled something in Spanish. Unfortunately I was cumming too hard myself to catch if anyone translated it for me. As I was coming back from the heights of ecstasy, Ranger translated it for me. "You are our world and the light there in. We will never let you down. We love you."

Hector kissed me gently. He laid me on my back on the carpet and set about making love to me. His hands and kisses traced and pleased all the differences between me and his other lovers. It was strange, with the others I felt their love in every touch, but I could tell that their desire was a major part of that love. For Hector, the physical was completely separate from the love. It was simply a way to express it. I mean don't get me wrong. If I wasn't able to have sex, not one of my JLS would love me any less, but Hector just felt a bit more ephemeral…not as physical as the other. Our loving was slow and gently. So very sweet. When we came, we were both shedding tears of joy and love.

Unfortunately after all of that it was still Friday and we had to go to work. I decided to be an idiot and head back to my place to get showered and dressed. I hate it when I'm stupid. Walking in smiling, happy, and obviously well and truly loved, I heard.

"You look like a Stark Street Whore, Cupcake. When I called you the Rangeman whore, I didn't expect you to take it as a challenge."


	6. Chapter 6

**WHEN IT RAINS**

Illiandyanndra

**Stephanie Plum **

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Rating:** Eventually NC-17

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)… Anyway thanks so much to all the Reviewers, esp. Margaret Fowler. I'll try to get a workable schedule for updates; I'm very sorry for the interruption in the Postings of my other Fics…this one WOULD NOT leave me alone.

Oh & AN2: Is so very sad…so much wonderful smut…and only 70 reviews…I think I might cry. NO Chapter SEVEN until I top 100. That's right I'm holding it hostage. *Insert Mad Cackling Here* Hostage I tell you.

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 6<strong>

"Ahh, is Morelli upset because there are seven men getting what you will never get again?" I said testily. "Oh or maybe it's because before your equipment seemed oh so big…but that was compared to Dickie so…but now I know what AWE inspiring is."

"OH please…everyone knows steroids shrink dicks…that guy Tank must be shrunk to a nub." Morelli returned.

"Well then thank God he got shrunk, cause I could BARELY handle what he has now. I mean if eleven-twelve inches that's thicker around than my wrist is what he shrunk down to….well hell what he came naturally equipped with would kill a girl." The smile on my face should have told him exactly how satisfied I was with what my men carried in their trousers.

BACK AT RANGEMAN

Tank PoV

I love our girl, but why the hell does she have to be so damn stubborn. She refused, flat out refused any accompaniment back to her apartment. Of course we let her. I mean we love her independence. Not one of us wants to be anything like that Dickhead Morelli. But I cannot shake the feeling that something is wrong in Stephanie-land. As soon as I was showered and dressed I headed to the control room. "Pull up Little Girl's trackers." Vince did as I asked. And they all showed her present and accounted for at her apartment. Still something was bugging the shit out of me.

Hector's voice kicked in beside me. "Do we still have a tracker on Detective Morelli's personal vehicle?" when Vince pulled it up Hector started to curse fluently. He and I headed to the door. We took the stairs two at a time and as one headed for a truck.

Back At Bombshell's

Stephanie's PoV

"So it's like that now. You just gonna turn into a whore and sleep with anyone with a big dick?" Morelli growled. "You used to be worth something as a girl even if you were worthless as a bounty hunter. But now you are nothing but a slut. A stupid cunt, just like the rest. Maybe I should get me one last taste… you look like you've been rode hard and put away wet…they won't be able to notice one more load in your stretched out snatch." He said coming towards me.

"Actually Joe. They would. Cause if you manage to get your boys anywhere near me again, I will rip them off. I'm not going to be docile at all. If you want it, it will be rape, and you are gonna have to rape my cold dead corpse. Besides I'm not like Joyce or Terri. I'm still nice and tight. Even now that I am theirs, and they are mine, my number of partners is still in the single digits. Last I heard Joyce's tally was over a hundred and Terri's more than half way there herself." I said distracting him a bit. I slid a hand into my pocket and pressed the panic button Ranger had slipped in there when I refused accompaniment. "Poor Joe…have you ever been with a woman…other than me of course, who hasn't been with every last male member of your family? Cause I know for a fact that Helen Bargalowski dated Mooch back in his 'pass the pussy' phase."

"Shut up, you bitch." He snarled. He tried to close the distance between us, but I kept moving putting furniture between us. "Terri, Helen and Joyce at least know their places. They suck cock, and take it up the ass. They know how to give a man whatever he wants."

"So do I. My Men at least. The men I can trust to care about me as a person and not just a means of getting their rocks off. Even balls to the wall sex feels like making love with them. Every touch communicates their feelings for me. The love you claim to feel while you yell and belittle and berate me, they show in their every action and touch and lick and bite and suck. You know what? I just swallowed a few loads not an hour ago. I love the feel of Lester or Tank or Bobby on my tongue. They stroke my hair as I blow them; they don't grab and pull like my ears are fucking handlebars, unless I want them too. Best of all they repay the fucking favor. They believe that going downtown is a pleasure, not a damn chore." I yelled back.

"Why the hell should I eat you? You are mine. That's something you do to get a girl. I've already got you." He said truly confused.

"Bullshit. Ranger has me, Tank has me, Lester has me, Cal has me, Bobby has me, Hal has me, Hector has me; you, you had me but you lost me. You lost me the second you decided that you were worth more than I was. You lost me the second that you decided to try to force me to become my mother. You lost me the second you decided that if you didn't like what I had to say you would arrest me and make me say something different. You lost me the second you started to fuck that Snooki's ugly twin looking bitch Helen. By the way I hope that you used your own condoms. She was planning to pull your own holes in the latex trick on you." I laughed dead in his face. And maybe I pushed him a smidge too far. He hauled off and hit me.

"Hitting girls now are we Joe…Bitch move Joe, bitch move." I said as I hit him back. Punches were exchanged and just as Joe was getting the upper hand my door got kicked open.

Tank PoV

One look at our Little Girl's pained, yet relieved face, and I can honestly say I have never been as angry as I was in that exact moment. "_Hector, call Ranger. I want him and the men here in the next 4 minutes…or there won't be any left for them_." I said as I crossed the room in three strides. Before Hector could get his phone out, I had Morelli pressed against the wall, one hand wrapped around his throat, his feet more than six inches off the floor. "_This stupid mutherfucker was not only dumb enough to let Stephanie get away…he was stupid enough to put his hand on her because she decided to become ours._" I snarled back towards Hector.

"_The rest of Estefania's men are already on the way. She pressed her panic button a few minutes ago._" Hector told me. He sounded a bit proud that our little girl was taking her safety seriously. He moved over to her and carefully took her into his arms.

I turned my attention back to the asshole hanging from my fist. "She is ours now Detective Morelli. I hear you used to be a real man, Morelli, a Navy man, now me; I was Army…a Ranger. But I work with plenty of SEALS, in fact one of my fellow Stephanie's Men was a SEAL…so you should know that real men take care of their own. You laid a hand, in anger, on Our Girl. So what do you think we should do to you?"

"You should let me go. Before I run in for assaulting a police officer." Morelli said his voice filled with bravado.

"No. Joe. You don't get to come here in your personal vehicle, come here off the clock, and then try to play cop. It doesn't work like that. You are here not as a police officer, you are here as a jealous ex-boyfriend who didn't know what he had until it was gone." I said with a smirk. "And I'm here as a current boyfriend who isn't going to let you get away with the bullshit assed way you've been treating the woman I love."

"I got there First. Mine were the first fingers she felt in her cooch when she was six. Mine was the first dick she fucked when she was sixteen. Women never forget their first." Morelli said. Man he was never gonna let that go.

Little Girl was not buying it. "Oh please, after last night your pathetic performances will now only be remembered as the star in my hall of shame. Even Dickie was better than that first time. I'm still not sure how I let you talk your way back into my bed after I cleared your name. You are the worst kind of lover, a selfish one. You only care about me orgasming to pump up your ego. You only pay attention to obvious erogenous zones, and for a boy who loved to play choo-choo you sure have a hard time using your fingers now. I had more orgasms when my JLS weren't even trying than I have the last six times we had sex combined." She taunted. "And considering that we only officially broke up yesterday afternoon, why had it been 73 days since I had a social orgasm…oh yeah 'cause you had Nurse Bitch and who knows how many others on the side. And you have the nerve to call me a whore."

"We aren't over until I say we are over Cupcake. So you can all your dogs off." He said…I'd say bravely, but really this is rapidly approaching stupidity.

"You are over Morelli. She is ours now. The men you see here now we are hers and she is ours. You need to wrap your head around that before you do something even stupider. You have lost her completely; you no longer can even claim her friendship thanks to your actions here today. If you want to keep your career, you will leave the entire Plum family alone. As I understand it Frank Plum wants to shoot you, and he has banned his wife from having any contact with you. Chief Hawser is very ready to take your shield and bust you back down so far you'll be calling Eddie and Costanza sir." Ranger said from the door. He entered followed but the rest of Stephanie's men. "And I can honestly say that should she say the word, good cop you may be, but I will ruin you so completely you won't be able to get a job as a crosswalk attendant anywhere in the continuous forty eight."

Looking around, I wondered if Morelli saw his death in my brothers' eyes as surely as I did. All seven of us wanted him dead in the worst way. Unfortunately, on the clock or not, killing a cop is a bitch load of paperwork.

Stephanie's PoV

Looking at the men who really love me, I can see their yearning for Morelli's blood. but I have a better idea. I'm gonna give him some rope; we'll see what he does with it. "Tank let the putz go. He's going to leave here with the understanding that should he ever stick his nose back into my business, I will press charges for the assault. Understanding that I'm going today and having a restraining order sworn against him. He is going to leave here today with the key to his house, and he will leave the key to this apartment in Hal's very capable hand. He will no longer call me or contact me in any conceivable way. He will no longer show up at my crime scenes unless it is in an official capacity, and since I doubt any of the desk sergeants or dispatchers would assign him a case involving me after what happened yesterday, I shouldn't have to see him at all. " I said as I worked Joe's house key off my key ring, carefully holding one arm tight to my battered ribs.

Tank released Joe, Reluctantly. And I threw the key at the prick's head. "Hey Joe," I called as he was working my key off his ring. "Not one of my men has a cock under 9 inches…what's yours again? Six? Seven? Yeah you're a big man compared to Dickie. And since that's all I used to be able to compare you to, you came out ahead. That's why you tried to claim me before you left for the navy, cause you knew if I found out what real men carry in their pants, you'd never stand a chance. That's the real reason you hate Ranger so much right…penis envy." Ok so maybe I was being a bitch, but my ribs hurt like you wouldn't believe. I'm sure they are at least badly bruised if not broken. Morelli fought like a domestic abuser, not one hit to my face, all of them to my ribs and stomach.

The second he was out of the door, I turned to my guys. ""Can I move my stuff into Haywood? I don't want to have to come back here. He gave up the key…but I don't trust him. I'll call Grandma and see if she wants to take over the lease on the place. Hector, will you be able to set her up with something to keep her safe."

"Of Course, Bombshell." Cal said easily.

"_No Problema, Little Bomber Girl_." Hector assured me.

"Good, could a few of you pack me up while Bobby takes me to have my ribs checked out?" I whimpered. I was in a world of hurt and coming unglued quickly.

Ranger took over quickly then. He set Lester and Hal to packing up my things, told them to call Ella to come and bring boxes. Tank swung me gently into his arms as he, Ranger and Bobby took me to St. Francis.

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><p>While we waited, Ranger put in a call to his realtor. I listened as he laid out our needs and wants. He asked that she have some properties available for viewing as soon as possible. An hour and a half later I left there with wrapped ribs, the physician's report stating my ribs were heavily bruised and two had hairline fractures, and an admonition to engage in only nominal physical activity for two weeks. Oh Joy. Leaving the hospital, Tank and Bobby escorted me directly to the courthouse. Two hours later I left there with a restraining order. More determined than ever that nothing was going to crash my happy again this afternoon, I headed for my mother. I needed to get ahead of the Burg gossip if I want even a hope of not being disowned.<p>

She and Grandma Mazur were on the porch waiting for us when we pulled up. Sometimes I'm positive that someone up the street must call and warn them I'm approaching. Ranger and Tank helped me to get into the house without jostling my Ribs too much. One thing I've learned over the years, even bruised ribs hate stairs.

"What's wrong Stephanie? Why do you have so much protection? And why did Frank get down his gun and start cleaning it obsessively?" My mother asked as the guys helped me sit gingerly on the sofa.

I shared a look with Ranger, and knew immediately I was on my own with this one. The guys had decided amongst themselves that I would make all the decisions as to who I told what. Great in theory…sucky in practice. "Mom, these guys aren't here as my protection. But as to what's wrong…I've got bruised ribs and a couple have hairline fractures." I begin.

"You should quit that foolish dangerous job." She huffed. "Or at least for the love of GOD get some training. Those three, I'm sure they could train you to not get hurt so often." She wasn't even close to finished. "I wish you would just marry Joe and leave all this foolishness behind."

^Yeah cause marrying the ass that broke my ribs is such a great way to live a danger-free life.^ I said before I could stop the thought. The world stopped.

My mother was motionless for quite a few minutes. "Is he dead?" she asked when she finally broke the silence.

"No." I said unsure of why she was asking that question.

"I see." She said quietly. She stood up and left the room, it wasn't long before I heard her voice yelling into the phone. "No you listen to me Angela Cantelo Morelli…my daughter is too good for that bullying ass of a son of yours. I listened to you even over my own cousin, when Eddie said he was trying to get her pregnant whether she wanted to be or not…you managed to convince me it was the only way to keep her safe, but really he's just a controlling ass. I just want to know where the hell he is. Yes I have a gun. That cannon my father left to my mother. Yes I'm going to shoot him. Oh yes I can kill him. I'm not going to be killing a cop, I'm gonna be killing the no good, two timing, lecherous bastard that hit my daughter. I don't care if she does embarrass him, tell him to grow the hell up…she is my child and if you think I give a rat's patoot about anything else. Ask that rat's ass of a son of yours how many cases he's solved in the last few years without mining her for information. I have ears all over this town, even Chief Hawser said that Stephanie has the highest capture rate he's ever seen for a lone wolf bounty hunter. I let you talk me into trying to get them together because he was her first…and because you were so worried that he'd end up with the AIDS if he didn't settle down, but that boy you raised broke two of her ribs. I'm gonna let the entire 'burg know that he's not to be trusted. Keep him away from my girl, Angie or I will make sure you won't even have a body to bury."

I looked over at Grandma to find her smiling proudly. "Now that's my girl. I've been wondering where she was."

I started to giggle, then laugh…then groan as my ribs protested. I leaned against Tank, and he carefully wrapped his arm around me. Of course my Grandmother's eagle eyes noticed. "I'll be hot damned. You and the big mandingo boy. Shoot Baby Granddaughter; is his package as big as the rest of him?"

My mother chose this moment to reenter the room. "What are you talking about Mother? Obviously she's with the Ranger fellow," she said gesturing towards Ranger. "They've been dancing around each other for years."

"I know love when I see it Helen. That big black fellow there is handling our Stephanie like she's made of spun glass." Grandma began. She stopped and took a good hard look at the four of us, Ranger and Bobby, Tank and I. Ranger had the manly BatBlush going, Bobby's caramel cheeks were looking a bit rosy and even Tank was clearly flushed. I'm sure that my face was red as it's ever been. "How many you greedy child?" she asked laughing.

"Seven." I said honestly. I have no desire to hide this from anyone. Not even my mother. I know she probably won't understand…but she loves me, right?

"Did you leave me ANY eye candy?" Grandma said with a pout.

"I've got twenty seven other men you can ogle, Mrs. Mazur." Ranger told her with a killer smile.

"You mean that you are involved with SEVEN men, Stephanie?" my mother almost screeched. "My God…just like Aunt Jess…you're one of those nymphos."

"Wait who is Aunt Jess? You mean we actually have a real live nymphomaniac in the family?" ^^Is it wrong that I find that kind of cool?^^

"Jessica Mazur was your Grandfather Harry's baby sister. She ran away from the family as soon as she got out of high school. Back then we just called her kind fast, but your Aunt Jess….she had a kind heart, and she loved the company of men. She ended up hooking up with a commune out west. She used to send us cards at Christmas just so Harry wouldn't worry. After the free love era was over she was diagnosed as a nympho by some crack pot doctor out there. But I don't think she really was after all it's not like your grandfather was good for more than once a day." Grandma explained. "She was killed in the riots out there in the late seventies, she came home and met Val but she was killed before you came along. Just the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Still Seven men Stephanie, what will the neighbors say?" Mom whined…ok my normal mom was back. "No one else has a daughter who comes home with seven boyfriends."

"Look Mom…in my life I've only every dated 2 guys, right. Most 31 year olds have dated at least twenty to twenty five men…so I've still been with less than that right?" I said trying to brighten the outlook for her.

Of course, Bobby and Lester share a soul so since Lester wasn't here to make the inappropriate comment, Bobby just couldn't help himself. "So you've got Grandma Edna on one side and an honest to goodness nympho on the other…plus your dad's family is Italian?" he asked. When I nodded he smiled as big as I've ever seen him smile and joked, "I'm not sure seven of us will be enough."

To only add to my total abject humiliation at this point my daddy came home. My mother launched into explaining that I had not one, not two but seven men I was involved with. However I doubt she got the reaction she was hoping for.

My dad turned to me and gave me the strangest look I'd ever seen on his face. Before he could say anything, I tried to turn his attention elsewhere. "I'm giving Grandma my apartment, Daddy."

"Good…crazy old bat will have her own bathroom and can get the hell out of mine." He grumbled. "But stop trying to change the subject. You have seven boyfriends. Fine that's all well and good they can provide for you and if it's the right seven all but two are Army…I can forgive that one Navy boy cause he was a SEAL. You won't even have to move back here, and I won't have to worry about having to kill that damn Morelli kid. I just want one thing from you Stephanie. I want a grandson. I don't care if he is black, white, brown or purple, but I want a boy. I love Mary Alice and Angie and Lisa, and however many girls your sister gives us…but I want a little boy I can take fishing. I'm 62 years old and I want a grandson."

"Mr. Plum, your daughter doesn't really want to have a baby." Ranger said calmly.

"I checked into you long time ago Fox…" he said with a raised eyebrow, "I know you have more money than God. I know my Pumpkin is scared of having a baby and becoming her mother. So she can have a surrogate, and then a nanny. I want a grandson. I want a grandchild by a man I can respect." He said stubbornly. "I've been patient. I didn't say shit when she was wasting her time on that Morelli ass. I knew eventually she would get her head out of her ass and dump him, and if by some miracle she hadn't I was giving her until the end of the year before I sat her down and explained to her that I'd have to kill that boy before I'd let her throw her life away marrying him."

"Umm sir, how did you…" Ranger said quietly. Oh Lord please don't let him have to send my daddy to a third world country.

"Son, if you take the moniker Fox of any sort, the Night Fox always checks up on you. I've known who you were since the first time you came to dinner." Daddy said with a smile.

"Holy Shit!" my three men breathed as one before swiftly apologizing. "You're Night Fox." Ranger began.

"You're a legend, sir." Bobby said with a sigh.

"Best Ranger of the Vietnam war." Tank said worshipfully.

"No wonder Babe's spidey sense is so damn good. Is it true you sensed every ambush and trap you even encountered?" Ranger asked. He sounded for all the world like a little boy asking for bed time stories from Superman.

I looked at my mother and grandmother. They helped me to stand up and head into the kitchen to talk about my and my grandmother's imminent moves. I called Hal and let him know that they were all invited to stop by my dad was telling stories about his days in the Rangers. Lester offered to bring dinner, an offer my mother surprisingly accepted.

"Ok, I've got to ask. I assumed I'd be cut off from desserts for the rest of my life and have to sneak around to see dad and Grandma. Why are you being so good about this?" I finally asked my mother.

"Stephanie, I knew from around the time you turned three you were going to be different. I caught you in your crib, in what I thought was a seizure. Your pediatrician said you that you had managed to well you know to completion. He checked you over and made sure that you had never been molested. Which of course you hadn't." She assured me quickly. "But it only got more pronounced when you ran across Joe Morelli the first time. I think I knew then that you were going to be like Aunt Jess. And you've seen your grandmother. For years you were so repressed, and you've never been like that Barnhardt child…so I assumed that I was wrong. But if you are like Aunt Jess, I'm glad you've found a safe way to, to, well deal with you little problem."

"So you are ok with this because you always worried that I'd turn into Joyce." I summarized for clarification.

"Yes." She said honestly.

"And you aren't going to freak out if we don't hide this relationship." I said just to make sure.

"I will try very hard not to freak out." She answered honestly. "So, are you sure you can't officially marry one and just keep the rest?"

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><p>AN3: You can have more SMUT when I break 100 reviews. *Insert Evil Maniacal Laughter Here*<p> 


	7. Chapter 7 Again, Watch the Panties

**WHEN IT RAINS**

Illiandyanndra

**Stephanie Plum **

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Rating:** Eventually NC-17

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)… Anyway thanks so much to all the Reviewers, esp. Margaret Fowler. I'll try to get a workable schedule for updates; I'm very sorry for the interruption in the Postings of my other Fics…this one WOULD NOT leave me alone.

Oh & AN2: YEAH WE did it! Over 100 Reviews! Maybe I was greedy, but you guys came through…so here is Chapter 7

AN3: I should never be allowed to listen to music as I type. Digital Roses to the first to get the underlined lyrics.

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 7<strong>

After a rather pleasant evening at my parents…I know it's shocking. Who knew my mom was only throwing me at Joe because she was worried I'd turn into a raging sex fiend like Joyce Barnhardt. Of course now that I know about Grandpa Harry's sister and my own toddlerhood predisposition to hormoneyness…I see that it was a valid worry. We made it back to Haywood, having accomplished less than nothing for the day. But watching my guys hanging on my dad's every word like the world's sexiest no girls allowed club was well worth it.

As soon as we entered the apartment on seven, I turned to Bobby. "I really need a shower; can you give me a hand?"

"Bomber…you know that you're on limited physical activities. So I'll help you in the shower, but you will have to wait out the two weeks before I can show you all the nifty things I can do in there." I started a full blown pout. "Don't worry sweetheart, after you are all clean I'll show you how creative I can be within the confines of 'limited physical activity'."

I shivered in delight. As I headed into Ranger's bedroom to get undressed, I heard Bobby admonishing the rest of them. "Sorry guys, but until she's cleared we can't risk actual sex; oral or manual stimulation only for the next two weeks." Is it wrong that their groans of disappointment made me feel a bit better? At least I wasn't the only one pouting over that. I had asked Bobby to help me get clean and unfortunately that's all he did. However once we were showered and dry, he rewrapped my ribs, carefully leaving my breasts bare. He leaned close to my ear and whispered, "Now you will have to stay very still. Can you be a real good girl and stay still for me, Sweetheart?"

"Yes," I breathed. Bobby helped me get comfortably situated before he lowered his mouth to mine. His full, sensual lips devoured mine. I had to focus on only moving my lips and that focus created an almost meditative attention to the kiss. So much so that when the kiss was broken to draw air into our lungs, I couldn't hold back the keening whine of disappointment. Bobby chuckled before returning his lips to mine. This time as he kissed me, his hands teased and tormented my nipples. Bringing to stiff peaks of sensation, I concentrated on my lips and the feel of Bobby's fingers playing with my breasts. For the first time in my life I was still during play time. However even Bobby's sensual lips couldn't swallow all the sounds of my pleasure and excitement. Soon we drew a crowd. Lester, Cal and Hal were clustered in the door way watching as Bobby drove me insane with both desire and the need to stay perfectly still, lest he stop.

He broke the kiss, though his hands were still caressing my, oh so sensitive breasts; he turned to My Flash, My Aquaman and My Green Arrow. "Isn't she beautiful? She must be still, so still. For the next few days even when in the throes of passion she'll have to maintain rigid control over her movements." He dropped a passion filled kiss to my lips. "She seems to compensate for being unable to move by being even more vocal than usual." Bobby dotted kisses down my neck and across two inches of bandages to get to my breasts. He began to kiss and nibble my nipples, teasing them with his tongue, in the same way someone might prolong the eating of a Hershey Kiss. His fingers trailed down over my bandaged ribs to find my nest of tight little curls. "one day soon Sweetheart, I'd love to shave your sweet little cunt absolutely bare."

I couldn't stop the shiver his words sent through me. "Why Bobby…if you do that won't everyone think I'm a naughty slut?"

"No, Sweetheart, we know you are a naughty little slut. Our naughty little slut. You have been from the first distraction. Oh I know that you are good and sweet and kind and compassionate. But there is a large part of you that truly loves getting tarted up and flaunting your sexy little body. And I know it's not for the skips, it's not for Morelli, it's for us. It started out just for Ranger, but I could hear your sexy little gasps, and whimpers when you could hear our reactions to your distraction apparel. I bet you often went home and frigged your pretty little pussy for hours after hearing how much we all wanted you." I don't know what was more arousing the secret truth of his words or the wonderful things his fingers were doing to me. I moaned, and fought to keep still as I was sent reeling with a small orgasm. "That's it Sweetheart. Cum. You know some of those gifts we will be getting you were purchased months and even years ago. I know Tank has had a school girl Fergie skirt in a box in his closet for over a year. I, myself, ordered you a perfect pair of thigh high black leather boots. They have silver stiletto heels, 4 and a half inches tall. They should stop less than four inches from your sweet, tight pussy. You'll wear them for us won't you? Those boots; and absolutely nothing else?"

Just the thought of being in front of them in the sex in boot form he described, pushed me over the edge into a whopper of an orgasm, my head whipping from side to side as I screamed my answer…the only one I could give to such a hot request. "Yes, God Bobby, YES!"

Bobby looked back and with a smirk offered his dripping hand to his friends. Surprising it was shy, sweet Hal that reached the bed first, he grabbed Bobby's wrist and with little flicks of his tongue licked Bobby's caramel skin clean. "Good Boy Hal, would you like to see if our doll can suck you off without moving too much?"

"Please." I whimpered. Lester got behind me on the bed, and Bobby situated me so that I was sitting up and leaning comfortably against Lester. Hal stripped off his clothes, and stood on the bed over me. I wrapped both of my hands around the shaft of Hal's circumcised dick, and noticed that even with both of my hands, they only covered a little more than two thirds of the length of it. The pool ball sized head of his member had a pearl of pre-cum on it, and after I licked the tip of it clean I took it into my mouth. He tasted so sweet, and as has to sit patiently rather than move my mouth up and down instead Hal thrust and retreat fed me as much of his cock as I could take, I slipped one hand off of the shaft and brought it down to Hal's balls. The orbs hung low and a long and wrinkled pouch that was hairless, as was much of Hal's body.

As Hal was fucking my mouth, Cal had settled himself on the bed between my spread legs. I never realized how much thought was required to just flex and work your tongue, until I had to try to do so, while remaining mostly still and having a big sexy man working his tongue and lips, and teeth and fingers on my doo-dah. Cal was doing such a good job, I screamed as I flooded his mouth with more juices and Hal thrust forward at the exact right moment. I never thought that deep throating a cock could make my orgasm even more intense, but God, it did. Thankfully Bobby was still in the room, because he quickly noticed an imminent disaster, and rectified it. My screams of pleasure had sent ripples of extra pleasure around Hal's cock. Creating the same effect as a hummer, but even more intense since he was halfway down my trachea at the time. Hal shouted out his pleasure, and Bobby grabbed his hips and wrenched him back and out of my mouth. Bobby then, kindly, jerked Hal's spasming cock onto my face. Prolonging Hal's orgasm, as mine seemed to go on forever.

As Hal finished cumming on my face, he was replaced by Bobby, who trailed his cock through Hal's jizz, in what was a much more sensual feeling and looking thing than one would believe, before slowly feeding me the long hard cummy length. With very little jostling of my ribs, Lester was replaced by Cal, who had wisely doffed his clothes before nestling in behind me. As Lester took his turn bringing me massive amounts of pleasure, he also took the initiative to lick and stimulate Cal's inner thighs as well. Cal's large hard dick was pressed between the globes of my ass. By the time I was enjoying another orgasm and facial, Cal was shooting his stuff up my back. Lester had been over stimulated. He stood over me and just let go, all over my breasts and face. Hal had gotten Hector from the Living room and when he appeared in the doorway, he gave me a sexy smile.

"_Oh cum covered Estefania, and all for me. Gracias_." He said to me. Hal translated as Hector dove in and began to lick me clean. Who knew I could have such a satisfying time on 'limited physical activity'.

* * *

><p>Ranger PoV<p>

Not a minute after Babe and Bobby headed to the shower, my cell phone rang. Looking at the display, I was more than satisfied that my realtor had called me back so quickly. "_Good evening Esperanza, such a quick response, should I take this to mean you have good news for me?_"

"_Si, Ricardo. I have five properties that I can take you to as soon as this weekend should you choose to pursue any of them_." She responded in with, what I'm sure she thought was a seductive laugh. "_I know how impatient you can be."_

"_Esperanza, patience is a virtue…however it is not one I possess in this case. Ideally I would like to have everything completed within the next few weeks. I believed that I was looking for only move in ready properties this time."_ I said keeping everything light; but very professional.

"Si, a move in ready home with at least nine bedrooms and an equal number of bathrooms. It must have a top floor bonus room with a bathroom, or very large master suite. You would prefer a home with a finished basement, and onsite residence for house and ground maintenance." She summarized. "_Were you unhappy with the other home I found for you two years ago?"_

"_No and I may keep that for a rental property. However I have entered a relationship and we are looking for somewhere we can live together._" I casually reassured her. However I tried to ensure with my tone that she would ask no further questions. The men would find out soon enough, but they would find out from us, not an outside source. Esperanza Ramos-Hummel was the younger sister of Manual Ramos, one of my 'Merry Men'; therefore I did my best to always be civil to her.

"_Ok. Would you like me to fax you the property particulars?"_ She asked, I could hear a sense of disappointment in her voice. Oh well. She was one of those chicks who got geeked at the sight of an ATM receipt. Not my type. "_Or would you like to see the properties before you purchase them this time."_

I smiled as I heard the sexy sounds of Stephanie's pleasure, beginning to ring through the apartment. A few of the guys headed to the bedroom, while I contemplated the question posed by my realtor…I gave a thought to doing it the simpler way. Getting the information from Esperanza and having a background run on the previous owners and the property itself, but I knew that neither Stephanie, nor Hector would appreciate that approach. "_I believe that we will view the properties. However could you please fax me the information as well? When will you be available to show us the houses?"_

"In this market, I'm free whenever you are." She said with a sigh. Realtors had been hit VERY hard when the recession hit. Fortunately for Rangeman and Plum Bail Bonds, times of economic hardship only increase crime. However Stephanie could tell you that people were a lot more careful about showing up for court now.

"_If you can fax me the information tonight, we will review it and be ready to view the properties tomorrow. Will you be ok with meeting us here and riding in one of our vehicles?_" I asked. I preferred to have complete control of the trip.

"For anyone else, I would say hell no. but if I cannot trust you who can I trust." She joked. "Besides, Manny would have a fit if something happened to me." She was not lying or exaggerating. She and Manny were closer than any other siblings I'd ever met.

"Then we can meet here tomorrow at 8" Tank gave me a hard look and shook his head. "Actually, we had better make it 10. I will not be alone, and not everyone is able to function as early as I do." I said with a snort of disgust. My Babe better be glad I love her.

"_I know it is unprofessional, but Manny has told me so much about her, I have to ask. Will you be bringing Estefania with you tomorrow to view the properties? I would like to be able to thank her for visiting Manny when he was injured and I was not able to be there._" Esperanza asked.

"Yes. She will. But please keep it under wraps, the guys will be informed in the changes that occurred between us," All eight of us, "on Monday."

"I'll be as silent as the grave." She assured me. We finalized out arrangements disconnected the call.

I looked at the clock and decided that a call to my lawyer would not be turned down…thought it was slightly after hours on a Friday night. After all he was family; he had to take my call. "Guilermo, I hope I am not interrupting anything."

"Yes, its Friday night, you are interrupting something. Fortunately for you, it is nothing major. How is my least favorite of my siblings tonight?" he said laughingly.

"Fine. Good actually. Look I need your help as my lawyer, and a favor as my brother." I said before calmly explaining the situation and then finally summarizing the reason for the call. "We have eighty to one hundred and sixty thousand dollars set aside for a down-payment. I would like to find a way to have the home in ALL of our names. You were able to clean up the mess, the Dick made of my Babe's credit?"

"Of course. Who do you think you are talking to? Though it probably would have been easier, if she had known what I was doing. Why must you make even the simplest things so difficult? Clean up my friend's credit…but she cannot know that you are doing so. And now, hermano menor, you fall in love with a girl and mess with her head and heart so much and so long you end up sharing her with all your _hermanos-de-armos_. And of course, now you are going to say you want me to keep all this secret from Mami and Papi. Not to mention Tia Jacinta and Tio Cayo. You owe me so big."

"Si, si, Guilermo. I know…can it be done?" I asked tersely.

"The legal and financial things…Yes. I'll get started on it first thing in the morning. I may even be able to push it through. I know how impatient you can be with things like this. But keeping a secret this BIG in our family. I'll try, _but I make no promises."_

"If you keep the secret, until WE can tell Mami and Papi and Tia and Tio, I'll…introduce you to Stephanie's friend Connie. She looks like a Betty Boop with a bigger rack." And somehow I'll get her to wax her mustache too.

"How much bigger," he said suspiciously.

A quick convo with Tank and I answered, "at least DD cup."

"I'll keep your secret, _hermano menor_, but she better be hot." He said and hung up. Huh, maybe the bad phone etiquette thing is catching like Babe thinks.

Tank and I stepped into my office and printed off the information we'd received from Esperanza. IP faxing was the greatest invention ever. Quickly we sorted them into progressive order starting from the farthest from our building and working out way back. Leaving them stacked on the coffee table we headed into the bedroom to spend some time with our girl.

We entered just in time to watch Hector finish giving her a tongue bath.

"_Estefania, is a dirty girl. I walked in to find her covered in cum. She was quite tasty. But I wonder…Lester do you have anything left…can we give our girl a show?" _Hector said with a wicked smile.

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><p>Hermano Menor=Little Brother<p>

Hermano-de-armas= Brothers at Arms


	8. I don't give a rat's a about my ribs

WHEN IT RAINS

Illiandyanndra

Stephanie Plum

Pairings: Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

Rating: Eventually NC-17

Spoilers: Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

Disclaimer: Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)… Anyway thanks so much to all the Reviewers, esp. Margaret Fowler & RangerKate.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 8<strong>

"_Estefania, is a dirty girl. I walked in to find her covered in cum. She was quite tasty. But I wonder…Lester do you have anything left…can we give our girl a show?"_ Hector said with a wicked smile.

**Stephanie PoV**

Lester looked over at me with a huge smile on his face. "What do you think about that Beautiful? Would you like to watch Hector blow me, or maybe you'd like to watch me fuck his tight little ass?"

I was blushing to beat the band, but I was so aroused, you'd never guess that I'd had over twenty orgasms since my shower. "God Yes. Please?" I'm not even sure what I was asking but before I could think about which I wanted to see most I found myself saying, begging, "both."

"_You can have what you want Estefania, but only if you ask for it_." Hector said with Lester translating for him. "_I want to watch as your lovers react to hearing you say naughty dirty things."_

"Our Lovers Hector. They love you, even those who aren't sexually drawn to you…we all belong to each other. That's the only possible way for this to work." I said with a smile that touched each and every one of my JLS, and in that moment I realized that I was telling the truth. Even if only a few of them were comfortable with Hector sexually, they all still loved him in their own way, and really isn't that how we each loved.

"_Our Lovers, Estefania_," Hector agreed. "_But you still have not told us want it is you want? The words, Little Bomber Girl, and be as descriptive as possible…or you get no show." _

I pressed my fingers to hot cheeks, and sighed. Ranger and Tank had finished stripping off their clothes, and Tank gently lifted me from the bed before settling himself and sitting my on his lap with his erection pressed against me down there. If I could have hunched forward just a bit, but neither my ribs, nor my boys were willing to let that happen. Tank and I were sitting against the headboard, so Ranger laid alongside us, his head resting on my thigh. I think he was doing it on purpose. If he tilted his head a bit his breath would have blown across Tank's cock and just the image of that in my minds' eye sent me babbling. "I want to watch Lester kiss you, Hector. I want to watch you seduce him with your mouth and tongue. I want to watch you take his cock into your mouth and play with his balls. I want to see you drive him to the depths and heights of passion before you let him lay down and you impale yourself on his cock. I want to watch you ride, Lester's cock, while you jerk yourself off. I want to see you cum…I want to watch Lester cum up your ass. I want to see it all." I breathed. I was so wet I was dripping around the base of Tank's shaft.

**Hector PoV**

Hal told me what our girl wanted to see, and I was more than willing to oblige. But the truth of the matter is that she was asking for more than what Lester and I have ever done together before. She wasn't asking for a stress relief fucking...she was asking us to make love to one another. "_Are you ok with what she asks? I know you tend to prefer it rougher and anonymous…so you can pretend it is just another ass."_

"_Yes, my friend, I'm fine. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her. Besides, it's not like I haven't had you before." _Lester said reasonably.

Straight men never understood the difference. Oh well maybe he would after. He pulled me into his arms and began to kiss me. This was a first for us, so he began slowly. Acclimating himself to the different sensations. Kissing a man was the same as a woman, and yet so different. Lester and I were both very aggressive and you could feel it in our kiss. Our tongues, didn't just duel, they battled for dominance. When we finished raping each other's mouths, Lester fisted his hand in my hair, and wrenched my head to the side. He nipped and bit his way down to my collarbone, before sucking the skin there into his mouth. A few seconds, minutes, days, of painful pleasure later, and he lifted his head with a smirk.

"_Damnit, Lester…you know how much I hate hickeys."_ I said before delivering several bruising nips to his shoulders and chest. I lowered myself to my knees, licking my way down his rock hard and well defined abs. I snaked my tongue into his navel and smirked up at him as he hissed in pleasure.

Finally after long enough that I could hear Cal taunting us. "_Just blow him already. This foreplay is killing me."_

I swirled my tongue around the very tip of Lester's cock. Slowly, maddeningly slowly I took him into my mouth. Drawing him in further and further until he was in my throat and my nose was buried in the dark nest of curls at his base, I licked my tongue out and swiped it over his balls.

"Oh dear God. _Holy shit Hector_. Do that again. _Do that Again!"_ he whimpered slipping in and out of English. I pulled back up and repeated the entire process again. "_Ey Dios Mio, Hector_. Suck me. Fuck! _Suck my dick_." Soon I was bobbing my head up and down, working Lester to the edge of insanity, and when I would taste a thickening of his pre-cum, I'd back off and force him to regain control.

"_I'm not going to allow you to cum this way, Lester. Tasty as your jizz may be. Our girl wants to watch me take this monster up my ass. And I cannot do that if he is satisfied. Lay on your back for us, Sexy Boy_." I've never seen Lester move so fast. Tank tossed me a bottle of lube from El Jefe's nightstand. I smoothed a large amount onto the tower of flesh that was perpendicular to Lester's body and the floor. Locking eyes with Little Bomber Girl, I slowly allowed my ass to travel the same route my mouth had. Slowly enveloping his cock into me. "_Oh Estefania, soon you must experience this for yourself. We will go so slow open up your sexy little ass bit by bit, poco a poco. It feels so good. The cock, it stretches you so wide."_ I whimpered. I heard Tank translating for me.

"It's so sexy when you all talk in Spanish. God I wish I didn't have to have it translated." Estefania whimpered. I watched as Tank rubbed his cock over her pussy. She must have been so wet, because his cock was positively dripping with her juices.

"_Si. Little Bomber Girl. We will teach you, even as we teach you to take our cocks in every part of your beautiful body_." I said as I slowly rode Lester.

I must have gone too slowly for Lester, because the sexy little bastard wrapped his hands around my hips, bouncing me on his cock harder and faster. I let him take the control and instead began to stroke my own dick. All too soon it was too much and I found myself roaring in pleasure. Crying out to the heavens as my cock erupted over Lester's chest and neck, and even chin.

"FUCK! _Cum for her Hector_. Cum for me." Lester growled as he started to pump me full of his own orgasm. "Hell yeah. God!"

**Stephanie PoV**

"Oh my God. That was so hot." I turned to Bobby. "I don't give a rat's ass about my ribs Robert Tibedeaux Brown. If I don't get one of you in me very soon, I will kick you in the fucking ribs."

Apparently Bobby could see my desperation in my eyes. He thought for a minute. "Ok Hal, look in the closet and get Bomber a pair of heels…3 to 4 inches." Hal moved quickly. Once he had them, he came over and out them on my feet. Bobby continued. "Ok guys, gently stand her up, Sweetheart if you bend at the waist and keep your back straight, no bowing or arching…those will hurt your ribs, Ranger and Tank can take you together that way. One in your mouth and one in your tight little cunt." Bobby gave me a devilish smile, "And just to make sure. I going to sit under your chest and suck on your pretty little tits, whenever you begin to bow or arch…well I'll think of some way to make sure you keep yourself from doing any more damage."

With some help from Cal and Hal, Ranger and Tank positioned me exactly as Bobby ordered. Bobby slid into place under me while Ranger and Tank made the decision as to who would be where. They were taking way too long. "Tank behind me, Ranger in front. I can take a lot more Ranger in my mouth than I can Tank." I said settling the discussion. They moved into place after bumping knuckles like they had just come up with the solution themselves.

"OoohhhhGoooddd!" I moaned as Tank slowly stretched me wide. He entered me so gently, but filled me so full. This is why I'd wanted in my there, he could make me feel as if I'd been truly fucked, even as he was as gentle as a lamb. I looked up at Ranger with a smile, jerking just a touch when Bobby bit a very sensitive nipple. I gave the medic of the crew a playful glare, before leaning forward to take the head of ranger's cock into my mouth. I rolled my tongue over the v shaped ridge and up into the slit. Slowly as I could I moved forward taking him in two inches and retreating one, eventually I relaxed my throat and hummed a little as I sucked him past my gag reflex.

They took control and soon I was being slid back and forth between them fully sheathing Tank, then Roger and back again. The entire time Bobby was licking and sucking my nipples, his fingers teasing my clit. I experienced the weirdest orgasms of my life. It was as if, once they started they didn't end, and yet at the same time they were gentle and soft. "God Little Girl. You feel so good. It's like you're getting tighter and tighter." Tank moaned. "Fuck baby, never experienced a cum like this."

Ranger slid all the way forward, trapping me fully impaled at both ends, and I could feel myself being flooded with cum. I swallowed as rapidly as I could, using the motions of my throat, to stroke Ranger's cumming cock, while I basically used kegal exercises to stimulate Tank's. "Babe…fuck. So good!"

I was lost in the haze of this gently rolling orgasm that seemed to last forever. I didn't notice Bobby move from under us. I didn't notice when Ranger, pulled all the way out of my mouth, though I'm told I whined and refused to let Tank pull out. They took off my shoes and put me to bed sandwiched between Tank and Ranger. If I've ever slept that well before in my life, I don't remember it.

* * *

><p><strong>Ranger PoV<strong>

The next morning was a mass of unorganization. At one point I'm fairly certain my eye began to twitch. Babe was rather unhappy that we'd only given her an hour to get ready. The rest of us took less than a quarter of that time. Though I must admit that she looked far better than the rest of us. We decided to abandon our uniforms since this was a personal venture, and it was Saturday. Stephanie looked amazing in a pair of sexy tight jeans that made her ass look even more luscious. And a wrap around top that made me want to untie the little bow keeping it together. She actually made the bandages look as though they were just some shirt she had on under the top. My Babe would never want to be less than fashionable, even when injured. The rest of us were all similarly attired. Khakis or dark slacks and polo shirts in black or navy blue…though Hector's was red and Lester's was almost the same color as Our Woman's eyes right before she cums.

We made it to the Lobby several minutes late; thankfully Manny was keeping his sister busy. "Esperanza Ramos-Hummel, I'd like to introduce you to Stephanie Plum."

Esperanza turned to Babe with a huge smile, and pulled her into a hug. All eight of us guys had to smile. Stephanie looked really uncomfortable. She was not comfortable with hugs, especially not from someone she'd never before met. "Thank you so much for being with my brother when he was injured. I was out of town at a conference. It meant so much to me to know that there was someone there so he wouldn't be alone."

"Yeah…wifey was great. She sat with me until they were sure I was out of the woods." Manny said jokingly. "Stephanie is good to all us 'Merry Men'. She treats most of us like we were the brothers she never had."

"Well most of you are. You help me and try to protect me…as much as I will let you. You keep trying to train me, make me better. You take care of me." She said giving Manny a devilish smile. "Sometimes you even sneak me Tastycakes when I'm broke."

Manny just smiled, looking innocent. "Why on earth would anyone want to do that? Those things will kill you."

I threw back my head in laughter as did the rest of Babe's men. "Hardy, har har…let's get this show in the road. Esperanza, I hope that you don't mind but Tank and I took the liberty of creating an itinerary of the houses."

"I'd assumed you would." She chuckled as we headed to the garage. We split up into two SUVs and headed to the first house. While I could control the tour schedule a bit, it we Esperanza's show. The first house was huge, more of a mansion than a house, it was located too far from Haywood for me, but I'd kept it on the list for a frame of reference. "This is the largest of the homes I have to show you. The school district here is the best in Trenton. It's also the furthest you can get from downtown and still be in Trenton." She joked. "The home has hardwood throughout the main areas with carpeting only in the bedrooms. It boasts both a swimming pool and a Jacuzzi." She led us through the first floor. "The Gourmet kitchen has all stainless steel appliances, and granite countertops. It has dual ovens and a breakfast nook. Through here is the laundry room and it leads out to five car garage. Above the garage is a two bedroom apartment perfect for onsite live in maintenance. That kitchen also has all stainless steel appliances' though it doesn't have an extra baking oven."

"Wouldn't it be noisy having Ella and Luis right above the garage?" Stephanie asked. Translation…'I'd be too embarrassed to let loose if they were this close to the main house.'

"Oh no… this apartment has been fully sound proofed. The last owner used to allow his son's band to practice up there since they used it more as a guest house than anything else." Esperanza assured us. But I knew that the close proximity would be a no go for Babe.

As we toured the house Esperanza continued extolling its virtues, but when we saw the top floor, we all knew this was definitely not the one. "as you can see the top floor holds two fully functional master suites, both with spacious master bathrooms and sitting areas. The walk in closets are a bit on the small side, but could easily be expanded later."

"I'm sorry…but I just don't think this is the one. It's too…formal; too…it's not somewhere that could be made a home. It's just a house. A big pretty house, don't get me wrong…but this is a showplace. Not a home." Stephanie said before Esperanza could show us the next floor down. "I hate to be rude. But I'd hate to take up your time showing us the rest of the house, knowing its wrong for us."

"Think nothing of it. Ranger's last purchase was made sight unseen." She chuckled, "at least you got him to come and take a walk through this time."

We were back in the SUV's moments later, and Babe let out a breath I didn't realize she'd been holding. "Thank God I made it out of there without breaking anything." We all laughed. I watched in the rearview mirror as Lester turned to her and began to kiss her deeply. I love watching her, listening to her be kissed. She's so responsive and the sounds she makes even from kissing, just beg us to take her. When Lester finished kissing her, she was making a very sexy mewling sound signifying that she wanted more. So Hal on her other side, turned her face to him and covered her mouth with his own. Far too soon we reached the second house.

**Stephanie PoV**

This house was a lot closer to our real lives. We walked in and I heard Hector say something caustic. "No. this one is not the one." I said quietly to Ranger, walking beside me. "this place feels wrong." My spidey sense was going buggy. I actually started to shiver and shake. "Bob-Bo—" I tried to say.

"Bobby!" Ranger yelled. My Dr. Fate came over and hustled me out of the foyer quickly.

Esperanza joined us there. "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say we can skip the tour on this one and strike it off our list?" she joked.

"God. What was wrong with that house?" I asked getting my breath, my equilibrium back.

"I have no clue. I didn't feel anything…but right before you freaked out Hector said the house felt evil." She told me quietly.

"Ok next house please…I'd like to put as much distance as possible between me and that place." I said climbing carefully into my seat in the lead SUV, Hector climbed in in Hal's seat while Bobby took Lester's. The two of them kissed and tormented me for the entire fifteen minute drive to the next house. All the kissing was nice but it was a bit of a tease.

This house was actually pretty close not only to Haywood, but also to my parent's house. "Good location," I said panting a little as Bobby helped me down. "We could get to Haywood in about ten minutes, and my parents in less than fifteen."

"Looks like we are close to Rossini's too." Ranger said coming around the car. He guided me towards the house, while Bobby, Tank and Hector exchanged comments in Spanish. The only words I recognized were beautiful and culo.

Apparently Esperanza understood what they were saying, because she stopped and gave them a lecture in Spanish. "Maybe we should explain things to Esperanza. I'm sure if we explain that we want to tell the guys ourselves, she will keep it to herself, but most importantly we don't have to limit our behavior so much." I said quietly to Ranger.

He gave me a 1000 watt smile. "You do that Babe. I think the guys will appreciate not having to keep their hands to themselves so much."

I gave him a full glare. ^Of course I have to tell the lady I just met two hours ago that I'm a nympho slut who is keeping the seven hottest, sexiest men in Trenton all to herself.^

"Oh my God, really, you lucky bitch." Esperanza said from behind me.

"I said that all out loud." I whimpered. All the guys nodded, and Esperanza laughed.

"Manny told me you talked out loud without realizing it. But I didn't believe him. Oh man, are all of you really together?" she asked, when I nodded she turned to Ranger. "If you'd told me that on the phone, I wouldn't have bothered showing you any of those other houses. This is the perfect place for you."

She dragged us into to the huge back yard. "This property has two outbuildings. One is a pool house, but the other is a three bedroom, two bath, guest house. It's fully soundproof and has a really nice kitchen with stainless steel appliances, and granite countertops." She showed us the guest house quickly. It was perfect, Ella would love it. The living area was plush and comfortable. And the master bedroom had duel walk in closets. Best of all there was a covered walkway connecting the out building to the main house.

Then she showed us the pool house. Unlike normal pool houses, this one actually covered the pool and hot tub. At the back, there were two small locker rooms, perfect for changing to go for a dip. The pool was heated, and the pool house had motorized blinds that would allow us to either have tons of natural light or total privacy. Outside was a full outdoor kitchen complete with bar and barbeque. After falling in love with the pool house she took us in through the back to the kitchen.

"The kitchen is fourteen by nineteen, and boasts both a breakfast nook with a banquette that seats eight, and a breakfast bar. It has rainforest black quartz countertops with complementary ebony pearl quartz backsplashes. It has a six burner commercial grade gas range top and dual ovens. The cabinet system is amazing and custom designed for this kitchen, all done in dark cherry wood." It was one of those completely organized cabinet systems, Ella and Bobby would both love it. "There are two pantries and a subzero refrigerator." She smiled and lead us though a similarly well organized and cabineted laundry room. "Each bathroom had a laundry chute that leads down to this room. The finished basement has a bathroom and a home gym, both of which have a dumbwaiter system in place that also runs to this room. Down there you'll also find a In-Laws suite, which has a living room, study and bedroom and it even has its own bathroom with a little apartment type laundry closet. It even has its own entrance. You'll note that this laundry room comes already equipped with a decent washer and dryer, however you could update it to the latest with very little problem. Also note that the same cabinetry and countertops have been continued throughout all the two first floor bathrooms, this laundry and kitchen. The entire house with exception of the bedrooms have this cherry stained Brazilian hardwood throughout."

"I have never seen a sexier floor." I said with a sigh. "Before I saw these floors, I didn't even know floors could be sexy."

Esperanza gave me a smile…"Just wait." She teased.

The first floor was open concept, with the magnificent kitchen opening up into a media/family/great room. Further away and separating the family area from the more formal areas was a formal dining room. Then two large rooms at the front that were separated by a gorgeous two story foyer. Unlike the other houses, this house was bare of furniture, or any other accessories. "The house has eight regular bedrooms, four family bathrooms and two master suites. They are distributed on the second and third floors. One Master suite and four bedrooms, two bathrooms on each floor. There are also central gathering areas on both floors. But the top floor is what you have to see." She said with a huge smile. "And best of all, the top floor including the bathroom and closets are soundproof.

The top floor was huge; it covered the entire length and breadth of the house. Its floors were hard wood, but stained a rich ebony with very subtle cherry tones. The floor was divided into a large bathroom that put the masters to shame. It had a massive black tub, that one climbed four steps to sink into. There was a huge shower with room for all of us, and even a few more. It had rain shower heads, but there were at least a dozen of the flat in the wall heads as well. It was all done in black quartz, which seemed to have stars shining in it. The glass enclosure was startlingly clear. Rather than chrome or gold fixtures, everything was brushed nickel or pewter. The toilet had its own room and in there it was as white as the shower was black. The toilet was kept company by a bidet and urinal. For some reason one corner even had a drain in the floor. I glanced at Ranger and he gave me, an 'I'll explain later' look.

The sink area had four sinks and a seated vanity area. The cabinets were a lighter wood than the floors, but only subtly; these were more of an ebony kissed cherry, than cherry kissed ebony, like the floors. The bathroom was lit with both recessed lights and brushed pewter drop lights. The countertops were more of the starry black quartz of the shower and tub. And the sinks were large bowls of the brushed pewter that sat on the countertops. The fixtures came directly out the wall and God did I want this bathroom. The sinks were divided evenly with the sit down vanity are in the middle. It had dozens of drawers, and cabinets. And the entire area was bracketed by large closets. One would be a perfect place to keep lingerie, and the other things the JLS were hoping to see me in.

"Ok this seems too perfect. So let's see what's wrong? Hector's tech, is the house cable ready and is it wired for computers?" Ranger said quietly.

"Yes, the house was built in 2008, there are two cable ports in each bedroom, and there is an area of the basement that would be perfect for Hector to set up an office area and still be part of everything. Up here there are three cable ports. I believe the builder actually had it staged with three different plasma screens up here. It is also has a intercom between the top floor and the kitchen." Esperanza answered reviewing her notes.

I looked around at the others. "So what are we talking in the price arena?" I asked.

"It's listed for a million five. But it's been on the market for eighteen months, and is bank owned so you may be able to talk them down some." She said with a smile.

"Can we have some time to look through the rest of the house and then make our decision?" Tank said smoothly. As the others moved on, he caught my hand and pressed me against the wall of the shower. "We're getting this house. And I'm gonna have you on my cock in this sexy ass shower." He said before devouring my mouth. "We know that by now you are desperate to get off. And this bathroom only made it worse. You were looking at the shower like we were all already naked and wet in there waiting on you." He growled, as he undid my pants. He pushed them gently down my thighs, and with his thick fingers, brought me to a screaming orgasm, far quicker than I really want to admit. He licked my juices off his fingers, before helping me to get my clothes righted.

"Thank you. I really did need that." I whispered as we hurried to join the others.

Esperanza gave me a knowing look. "You know I can tell just looking at you what you two were up to. Do you always glow like that after?" I groaned and buried my face in Tank's chest. "Sorry I only kid cause I'm brutally jealous."

"But your name is hyphenated…aren't you married?" I asked looking for a ring.

"Divorced. My ex-husband and I disagreed on what out vows meant…I thought it meant he had sex only with me…and he disagreed." She explained. "But because I was already well known by my current name, I didn't change it, simply for business purposes."

"See when my ex-husband and I had that disagreement; I hadn't even finished the process of changing my name…so that wasn't a problem for me." I joked.

"Well God has definitely made up for that mess up for you." She gave me a smile.

"Yeah he has." I said with a serene smile for my men.

Ranger spoke up, "Alright we are going to take the house. The top floor is perfect for our needs. And Ella will love the kitchen and the guest house is perfect for her and Luis. Now my attorney is already beginning the process of financing, however since Rangeman LLC will be out mortgage holder, there is no problem there. How long will it be before we can move in?"

"We can probably get everything completed and turn over the keys in one month to six weeks." Esperanza said realistically.

The guys had another idea. "It's already been on the market for over a year. Tell the seller we'll give them a million even and we will pay all closing costs. But we want to be able to get our designers in here within two weeks."

Esperanza left to make the call.

I turned to Ranger and gave him a startled look. "Designers?" I asked.

"Babe, do you know how long it would take to fully furnish and decorate this house without at least one interior designer. The eight of us will handle the top floor, but the rest of the house will be divided between, my sister…she did my apartment on Haywood, and the design firm who did the apartments on four."

His explanation certainly made sense. "Okay." I said contemplatively. "Do you think your sister would be comfortable handling my alone space? I really love the apartment on seven."

He gave me a sexy smile. "I'm sure she'd love too. Just don't pump her for too many embarrassing stories."

"I make no promises." I returned cheekily.


	9. Customization can be FUN

WHEN IT RAINS

Illiandyanndra

Stephanie Plum

Pairings: Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

Rating: Eventually NC-17

Spoilers: Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

Disclaimer: Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

AN: I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…

AN2: Thank you to all my reviewers. I hope that you will forgive the rather prolific length of this chapter.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 9<strong>

Having seen Ranger sit without moving for hours I'd garnered the impression that he had the patience of a saint. But now I know that while he can exhibit patience; Ranger, by nature, is not a patient person. From the moment Esperanza came back saying the bank had accepted our offer, Ranger has been a man on a mission. Monday as soon as the banks opened, before the ungodly early nine AM Staff meeting, he had the eight of us at the bank setting up the escrow account with each of us depositing 38 thousand to reach the twenty percent down payment, and closing costs. He wants us in that house and he wants us there ASAP.

After the bank, was the morning staff meeting where he apprised the Merry Men of the changes in my employment status with Rangeman. He also explained in a very vague, undetailed sort of way my new relationship with him and the JLS. Then he and Tank left the building with some paperwork, while Hal and I met with Ella and Luis.

"Ella, Luis, thank you for meeting with me. I asked for the meeting to ask how you would feel about moving off site." I said clumsily. "I think I've found a way for you to adopt me you see. Ranger, the rest of the JLS and I are buying a house together, and we'd really like it if you and Luis would move over there with us and take care of the eight of us." I rushed on when I realized that Ella thought I meant something bad.

"I would love to take care of you, dear girl…but what is the JLS? And why are you buying a house with them?" she asked confusedly.

Why did I always have to do the group sex thing with women. God I hope Ella takes this well. I don't know what I will do if she hates me. "The JLS is the Justice League of Stephanie. Hal is my Green Arrow; Ranger is, of course, Batman; Lester is the Flash, Bobby is Dr. Fate, Cal is Aquaman, Tank is Steel, and Hector is Vibe."

"Oh I love the Vibe comics." Luis said with a chuckle. "Other than Vibe being Puerto Rican, and Hector being Mexican…that is dead on, so are the others truth be told.

"I know, right." I laughed. "Anyway here is the embarrassing part. You remember how I told you once that bad things happen if I don't have a certain amount of sugar every day?"

"Of course dear. It is how I finally got Ranger to lift that silly no snack cake rule." Ella smiled.

"Well, apparently, it's because I take after my Great Aunt Jess." I said and then of course I had to explain who she was and since Ella already knew all the stories about my Grandma Mazur, she was aghast.

"Ey Dios Mio. Estefania. How on earth are you going to manage this? There are women who end up in very dangerous situations just to satisfy these needs. Even those with the lowest levels of the disorder need far more 'attention' than the average person. There have been studies that show that the hormone imbalance that creates nymphomania and satyrism can lead to insanity and extreme depression. And the replacement therapies can often cause more harm than good." She said sadly. "If you were using sugar to regulate your imbalance, no wonder you were eating so many donuts every day. And it would also help to explain your metabolism, and inability to sit still. Then there is the social stigma. Many people do not realize that this is an actual physiological condition. Men with the disorder are often just lauded for being manly while women are vilified as home-wreckers and well, some other really unkind names. The names have changed over the years. They actually have replaced the terms nymphomania and satyrism…though I can't for the life of me remember what they address it as now."

^^Ok I didn't know all that.^^ "Well…I'm dealing with it a bit more proactively than the sugar." I said blushing…deeply.

"Oh dear, you are a lucky one aren't you dear." Ella said when she realized was I was desperately trying NOT to say.

"Yes, I am. But it's really not just about, well you know…" I assured her and then with Hal's help explained that there were real emotions behind this as well. Then, so completely uncomfortable with all the emotion talk, I started telling her about the house, especially things like the house that would be hers and Luis's and the decorating and furnishing help I was hoping she would provide.

By the time I'd finished my meeting with Ella and set her with her first assignment, helping me come with the proper advertisements to find new onsite staff for this building, Tank and Ranger had returned, accompanied by Lula, and surprisingly Connie.

"Ok I get why you are here Lula, but Connie, what are you doing here? Are we doing a hostile takeover of Plum bail bonds?" I joked.

"Sorry, Babe. But Connie only came because I told her you would explain everything, but only in a secured location." Ranger explained.

Lula was quite confused. "Skinny ass white girl you know I love you and all but how are you gonna take my advice, get with all these fine ass men, and not call me. Didn't I tell you I needed to see you take Tank to believe it?" she chided. "And then Batman and Tank come strolling in as easy as you please asking me to jump ship to Rangeman, and shit. You got some 'splaining to do."

"It's simple. Tank found out about my business degree and refuses to look at another spread sheet as long as he lives. So to ensure that he doesn't have to I've been given my own department, that will handle the research, client screenings and some development, and low dollar bail skips. To do so I've been given two Rangemen, and you if you want to join me…plus a secretary." I said calmly.

"So what's the catch?" Lula asked. "There's always a catch."

Ranger, Tank and I exchanged looks, and without words I made it known that I was not going to be the one to tell Lula that her clothes had been deemed Rangeman inappropriate. Tank, apparently, refused to say it either. Finally Ranger spoke up. "Well Lula, as a member of Rangeman, you would be required to wear the traditional uniform, in the traditional color…black. However," He rushed on before she could get started in rhino mode, "your hair and nails are your own business as long as their length does not hamper your movements. Also you and Stephanie will both be governed by the Rangeman code of conduct which includes working out in the onsite gym three times a week, one hour each time. You will receive gun and physical defense training. Should you desire to learn other forms of weapons combat, you can ask any of the men what their specialty is, and if they will train you in that form of combat."

"So I get backup when I need it, training, and I might even lose some weight, plus I get benefits and eye candy all day long. And the only catch is I've got to go buy all new clothes." Lula asked summarizing quickly.

"No Lula…the uniform will be provided." I hope because Ella can be counted on to buy what size Lula wears, not the size Lula wishes she could wear.

"Oh you ain't said nothing but a thang…Girl I'm in like FLYNN. Gonna be working with my bestie, gonna be working 'round all these fine ass men. And I get to carry like a bad ass. Oh yeah…I can roll with this for real." Lula said before pulling me up to join her in a happy dance.

"You guys are just gonna desert me and leave me with Vinnie." Connie said pouting. "My day is gonna be so boring." She whined.

"Well Stephanie's department will need a secretary." Tank said teasingly.

"I can't leave Vinnie. Harry and my dad have an agreement. Besides. The place would fall apart." Connie said with a devious smile. "But I bet I can use this to get a raise." Amazingly enough Connie left pretty soon after that. Without grilling me for details. I'm still shocked.

Once we got Lula's paperwork done, and she and I agreed on a schedule for our gun training, I couldn't do any physical training until I was back up to snuff physically, our attention turned back to the house. Guilermo, Ranger's attorney and brother, who knew, had some paperwork for us to sign, and of course, we had to get started with the designers. Ranger and the rest of the JLS are handling the top floor…our play room and primary bedroom, and each guy has met with a designer for their personal space, but the rest of the of the place was entirely up to Ella, Hector and myself, of course, with the aid of Ranger's sister Abegaile, who was as bullheaded as her big brother. Hector and Ella were handling most of the social areas of the house. I was working with a few of the designers on the media/family/great room, and the gathering areas of the second and third floors. But Abegaile and I were butting heads over my personal space.

Apparently having a female domain in a house of men, to Abegaile, meant that I should luxuriate in femininity. But the truth is that I much prefer to wear pink than live in it. Not to mention that I was determined to pay for my space myself. So a lot of her suggestions were not something I could conceivably do. I was ballin' on a budget. So we settled on a nice queen bedroom set in cherry woods that I found at Ashley's furniture. I was just proud of myself for going to what I've always considered a high end furniture store. She was still not really happy. But I finally sat her down and explained to her that I was doing this with my own money because I didn't want to scam off her brother. She understood my reasoning and we worked together to decide on a color scheme with jewel blue tones as the colors in the curtains and bed coverings. The closet was perfect. It had a beautiful cherry wood system with room for at least a hundred pairs of shoes…and that didn't count boots. It had homes for purses and more clothes than I've owned in the last decade.

For, what seemed like, the first time in two weeks I was not meeting with the décor-nazi that is Ranger's sister. Nope today I have to go to the doctor so I can be cleared for full physical activity. Then I'm locking myself in a room with a bed and as many of the JLS as I can find quickly. Of course nothing in this life is ever that easy for me. In order to be allowed to come to the doctor all by myself like the grown woman I am, I had to agree to wear three trackers, on in my scrunchie, one in my shoe and one on my shirt. Plus my usual pen tracker, I also have a fully charged stun gun, and two panic buttons. And I'm not gonna pretend, even to myself, that the only reason I've been given the solo is because all my JLS are either in meetings, or out at the house meeting with the design team. Even then Bobby is meeting me here, and I wouldn't be surprised if Ranger pops up after he finishes with the custom furniture builder guy.

But the real sucky part of my day came when I was standing in the lobby of the medical building my doctor's normal office was located in. It would seem that my doctor is in the same building as Bella Morelli. Now I really don't care if I ever see that old bitter bird ever again in this life or the next. In fact, one of the best parts of having kicked Joe to the curb is the fact that I no longer even have to consider this woman's existence. Of course, God with her quirky sense of humor decided to sit me in a fourteen floor elevator ride with her. Yeah me! Best of all Joe has wasted no time in yelling all over the 'burg that I'm the Rangeman slut, getting passed around like a blunt at a frat party or whatever.

I saw her coming into the building and of course I hit the elevator button…repeatedly hoping that it would show up before she and her 'ladylike' pace got to the bank. But, nope, it shows up as she gets there. I try to be polite and let her enter first. Which she did with a disdainful huff. Why did she not just decide that she was too good to speak to me?

"Your poor mother must be so ashamed to know she raised such a scopata facile as you." She said snidely as the doors closed. "At least she can hold your sister up and be proud of her. Otherwise she would have to hide out in her home in shame. Like that poor Barnhardt woman…agoraphobia—bah, she's ashamed to come out of her house, and rightfully so."

"Whatever you say, Mrs. Morelli." I said calmly.

"I always knew my Joey was too good for a donnaccia like you." She continued. "And now he is facing an inquiry about that restraining order you took out on him. With your lies. You probably got hurt by one of those big thugs you are spreading your legs for. He is such a good boy, always trying to redeem you."

"To quote a very famous movie…'if he hadn't been your boy, he may have made some woman a half way decent man'. Then again the same can be said for your sons and your grandsons, and nephews. What is it that makes Morelli men such mean hateful violent assholes? The 'burg has been blaming genetics for generations…but talking to you; I think its Morelli women. Maybe if you good Christian women would read a few bible verses from the New Testament, you might stop being such condescending and judgmental bitches. God knows I would never say any woman deserves to be treated the way the Morelli men treat their women, but you…you and your daughter in law come real, real close." I shouted. Thank god the elevator stopped. I got off even though it was only the eighth floor. Probably was the best decision. I got that off my chest and I got away before she could give me the evil eye.

My doctor was nice enough to give me the all clear, after which Bobby laid a kiss on me like it was Times Square on VE-Day. Of course the kiss was deliciously sensual and made me even more determined to find some alone time with at least Bobby. God just seeing my pale hand against the warm caramel skin of his cheek was making me even more aroused. I grabbed his hand and dragged him out the office. It took him holding me at the desk to remind me that I needed to pay my copay. When we got to our cars, I was a little surprised to see that Ranger wasn't waiting on us there. Bobby pulled me into his SUV. "I'll get someone to bring your car back to Haywood. We've got a shopping trip to make."

**Ranger PoV**

I've been here for two hours. Arguing over freaking furniture. I had never before had to purchase custom furniture, so I had to ask Frank if there was anyone locally who did custom furniture. It is embarrassing in the extreme to ask the man who is, for all intents and purposes your father-in-law, not to mention your idol, where you can have furniture made so that you and six of your best friends and brothers-at-arms can do dirty, debauched, and depraved things to his daughter…and sometimes each other. But I did it. And he recommended me to this gentleman. Melvin Stevens. Apparently Melvin and Frank knew each other from 'Nam. And Melvin was a master carpenter. The 'best woodworker since Jesus himself', according to Frank.

He may well be the best, but that has to be the only similarity to Jesus. First of all this guy is a talker. I mean he talks as much as my Babe. And worse thing is he manages to pull information from you that you don't want to share. I've been tortured and all I gave was my name, rank, and serial number…but apparently Melvin knows everything about me. Even things I haven't said to Babe or the other guys yet. "Look I know you want the European redwood, but if you are serious about wanting to restrain some one of your size or bigger, we need to go with a serious hardwood that has some give to it. Cherry can be stained darker, and while it's a bit more expensive, I won't have to be fixing the bed stead every couple of months." He finally told me exasperatedly. He's been trying to talk me out of redwood for the last forty five minutes.

"Fine." I finally agreed. "It needs to be roughly the size of two Californian kings."

"I can handle that. I'll have my son Richard come up with the exact measurements. He's better at all that math stuff. If it isn't on a tape measure, I stop paying attention. I'll have him e-mail you the numbers, you're going to have to find someone who can make you a mattress for this bed. You aren't gonna want the shifting and such from just putting two on the frame. There is a company called Gardner in Massachusetts. They will build it for you…I think you can even select the types of woods they use in the box springs. I suggest you tell them to use cedar, nice strong wood and it smells great. For the headboard, I recommend a full back, built forward, with bars in front of it creating a kind of a recessed shelf." He drew a quick drawing of what he meant. "That way, you can set some lube and such there, and have it readily available for when you are going at it. Plus I can use more STRONG hardwoods on the inside of the buildup. It will make the frame stronger over all." I swear this man has to be sixty, and he talks about sex almost as candidly as Mrs. Mazur. "Since it's for Stephanie, I'll include some pretty detail work on the bars free of charge. Don't worry; even with the prettying up, I'll make them strong enough to keep you tied down. I'd like to include three shallow drawers in the headboard, you can either use them for condoms, or you can hide some weaponry there just in case. I can start the bed tomorrow…if all goes well it will be ready for the final staining next Friday, and available for me to put it together on site the following Tuesday. As for the restraint settings, I'll reinforce the corners with steel, and hide that under a support beam. I'd like to go with Western Red Cedar…it can be stained to match the bed, but if you decide to just treat it instead, the smell of the cedar can add an extra layer to sensory depo play." Did he just say what I thought he said? "I can make one sized for Frank's little Pumpkin, and the other sized for a guy your size…but I ain't even trying to build something that will hold anybody called Tank…for that you'll have to find a welder."

"Now you'll need something to house all the toys ya'll are probably gonna use. Rather than going with traditional nightstands. I can make you some that are twice as wide, and half again as deep. I can give you more drawers on them also to keep things organized. There is nothing worse in this world than going for your lube and coming up with a tube of ben gay. But you young bucks don't have that to worry about yet. Those I can have ready, probably by Friday after next."

Ok maybe he talks too much…but the man might be a furniture genius. Hiding place for guns, sex toy organization systems. "How are you at weapon cases and cabinets?" I found myself asking. Maybe he could build the things for the basement after he finished the play room.

**Stephanie PoV**

When Bobby said we were making a shopping trip, I was hoping for Macy's, maybe Victoria's Secret, or even Frederick's of Hollywood, so imagine my surprise when he pulled into the parking lot of Pleasure Treasures. "I've been given the task of purchasing some of the toys for the play room. I, however, cannot do so without you present. I understand that you are probably not going to be as comfortable as you could be going in here. But Carol has the best selection, and best of all she has a strict 'you open it, you buy it' policy." Bobby explained. "Please, Sweetheart."

"Ok. But you owe my mother some flowers for all the phone calls she's going to get."

"Does she prefer roses or tulips?" he asked as we got out the truck.

Over the next hour Bobby picked out several things I didn't recognize, though he assured me that I would learn. He watched me carefully and when he noticed me have what he called a 'positive' reaction to something, he would pick it up. One of the first things that made me gasp was a paddle it was made of wood, with velvet on one side and padded with a low pile carpet material on the other. "Tank will love using that on you, Sweetheart." He teased as he put it in the basket. He grabbed something else. "These are graduated butt plugs. We'll start you with the smallest one, and slowly teach your anus to accept bigger and bigger plugs, once you are about two-thirds through the pack you should be able to handle Cal and Hector, by the end Lester or I…but you may never be able to handle Ranger and I'd say it is EXTREMELY unlikely you will ever be able to take Tank in that sexy little ass." He said as he put a large box into the basket.

A few strange gloves and what looked like a big feather duster without the handle, as well as an assortment of oils and lotions. He grabbed a few other toys. When he reached for the Herbert Horsecock, I stopped him with a fiery red blush. "Um I have one of those already." The smile he gave me melted me like an icicle in July. He looked at his watch and sighed.

"It's been over three hours, how are you doing?" He asked concerned.

"I'm actually ok. I had a few donuts on the way to the Doctor's office. But could we hurry up. We've all been really gentle for the last two weeks." I joked.

"You do have some very strong masochistic tendencies, don't you Sweetheart. You like it when we fuck you hard. When we play rough." Bobby whispered darkly in my ear. "Go pick out at least five things you would like us to use on you. If it helps you can consider it an order." He groaned, pressing himself against me letting me feel that he was as hard as I was wet. "We can't leave here until you get a few things for us, too."

Oh great. Trying to hide both my growing embarrassment and arousal not to mention just hide from Carol, I took a careful look around the store. My eyes lit on a display of nipple toys. There in the center of the display was something I thought only existed in my dreams…the ones I'd barely been able to share with my JLS the night of our first date. I went over quickly and grabbed them and raced over to Bobby and tossed them into the basket, praying that Carol would think they were something he picked out. In went a bondage kit, and a bathtime kit. I noticed that when I got back to the basket that time Bobby had gotten a sex swing, as well as another set of nipple toys. His said vibrating rather than shocking. Shaking off the thought of what the different sensations would feel like, I returned to my mission. I wanted out of here with a quickness. I picked out a selection of Cock rings, green for Hal, purple for Hector, black for Ranger, silver for Tank, white for Bobby, red for Lester and blue for Cal. I was very careful to get the ones that allowed for easy release. I also grabbed a prostate wand. The guys should love that…at least Hector and Lester…and probably Bobby and Ranger.

Looking back in the cart, I noticed a large number of toys that screamed butt stuff. I gave Bobby a slight glare. "You have a truly sexy ass, Sweetheart, you cannot get mad that we want to play with it. Just he happy I have the list on my Iphone. Lester wanted to this and he was just going to bring the pad."

"Thank you Bobby…I think I'd have died if I tried to do this with Lester. Especially if he had a grocery list pad." I said giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Don't thank me yet. I see a few things for us…but only three things that qualify as things you'd like us to use on you." He admonished. "By the way, good choice with the leather strap type of cock ring, the silicone ones are prettier, but they are far more difficult to remove and can cause undue problems. The ones that snap on and off are a lot safer and it is more difficult to cause priapism."

"Ok. Learn something new every day." I say trying to cover my embarrassment. ^^I just got them because, I didn't want to have to pause too long while the guys took them off.^^ "I'll just go and grab my last two things." I picked up a fur line paddle. And a different restraint set, pass by ready to call it a day.

Of course when we got to the counter, Carol was just bursting. "I've never made a sale this big in all my days. You guys just made my year." She chuckled. "So I guess it's true. You are one of those stracciamanici. Can't get enough. Your Grandma told us all about it at the Clip and Curl. So is this one of your harem? You know you Mazur girls have all the luck. You didn't know your great Aunt Jess. But she never met a man she didn't want to know. And she had a set of knockers on her that made sure they all wanted to know her too. She drew men to her like bees to honey. You may be built more like Edna…but you draw men just like Jess."

"Umm...thanks." I think. Huh. I guess that was a bit of a compliment. "So you knew my Aunt Jess?" ^^Do you know why didn't she pass on the big boob genes?^^

"Yeah. I'm not from here. I actually met Jess Mazur in California. She and I were in the same family, same commune. When I was ready to leave, looking for a change, I rode here with Jess, she needed help making the long drive from Sacramento. I met a man and stayed. She hit the road again, she was really only here to meet her first great niece." Carol gave me a weird look. "Guess that makes a bit like family since I don't have any of my own. Tell you what, next time ya'll come in to restock...I'll give you ten percent off."

^^Yeah it will still be great for her bottom line.^^ I thought.

However I forgot all about the man on a mission next to me. "Do you have a catalogue you order from?" Carol nodded. "If we promise to order through you…is there any chance that we could borrow it. There are a few things we were looking for, that you don't seem to carry."

"Sure, if you promise to order through me, and you bring all of her boys to see me. I've got to see if you are all as hot as Edna says." Carol negotiated.

Soon she and Bobby had reached an agreement and she gave us a copy of her catalogue. Bobby paid and we left. I just know my mother is getting calls asking how come her daughter is leaving the Pleasure Treasures with two grocery carts full of stuff.

The drive back to Haywood never seemed longer. Bobby texted Lester and Tank, both of whom were off for the afternoon, and they helped up put the bags and boxes into the storage area in the Garage we were using to hold things for the new house until we could take them over. We should have the keys on Monday, which really wasn't soon enough for any of us. I laughed at the way Tank and Lester were peeking through the bags, snickering at the different things Bobby had purchased. I didn't notice that they had pocketed several things.

**Lester PoV**

I smirked as I watched Tank hide the smallest of the paddles in one of his cargo pockets. Beautiful is in for it now. Speaking of Beautiful…we were so busy putting the stuff away, I didn't get my kiss hello. "Beautiful, I haven't gotten my hello kiss." I taunted, stalking towards her. Like a good girl she retreated a bit, but by the time she got to the elevator, I'd caught her. Pressing her against the wall, I began to assault her mouth. Tasting every millimeter of her mouth, I allowed my hands to get reacquainted with her body. Cupping her ass, I lifted her, smiling gently into our kiss when she wrapped her legs around my hips. All four of us made our way into the elevator, but Stephanie's feet never touched the ground. Leaning her against Tank's massive chest, I return my mouth to hers. God she tastes so good.

"Little girl, you like the way Lester's kissing you don't you. You keep making all these delicious little moans. Are your panties wet?" Tank taunts her. I release her lips, and nibble my way to her neck listening raptly for her answer.

"God yes, Tank. He tastes so good, and I can feel him pressing against me down there. And it feels sooo good! I think my panties have been soaked since Bobby, made me really look for stuff in Pleasure Treasures." She groaned.

If we ever want to know her deepest secrets, we don't bother getting her drunk, we just get her horny. When Stephanie Plum gets really horny, she'll answer anything. "So what did you pick, Beautiful?"

"I'm…not sure. I got some tie up stuff." She admitted too easily.

I pressed forward, using the bulge of my cock in my pants to torment her clit, just a little. "What else?"

"I got a set for Hal's fantasy. Bath fun." She moaned; that was still too easy.

I sucked hard on her neck right above her jugular as I pressed my cock against her and ground my hips. She was so wet it was starting to leak through the denim of her jeans "What else, Beautiful?"

She whined, and tried to follow when I drew my hips back. "Fuck, I got some nipple clamps that give little shocks through them."

I can honestly say that I lost all control. Thank God Tank and Bobby had kept us moving and gotten us into the apartment on seven. I set Beautiful on the breakfast bar and ripped her out of those tight ass jeans she was wearing. Tank and Bobby saw to her ankle boots, while I worked the jeans down her long legs. She yanked her sweater up and over her head, and divested herself of her bra. While I was getting out of my clothes, Tank reached around me and grabbed the tiny scrap of cloth hiding her pussy from us.

"Who picked this?" he asked holding the fur lined paddle up.

"She did. She picked another one that has a smooth and a rough side as well." Bobby said with a dangerous smile.

I leaned forward and ran my tongue up Our Girl's dripping pussy. "Beautiful, you have the sweetest cunt, I've ever had the pleasure to lick. You taste better than honey." I feasted on her, driving her mad with my mouth…but keeping her from cumming. Tank wanted answers he'd only get if she was crazy with need.

"So you want us to tie you down, and paddle your sweet little ass while shocking your pretty little tits." Tank asked his voice dark.

"GOD YES!" she yelled, tumbling into an orgasm despite my efforts to keep her on the edge. She must really like that thought.

I stood, and thrust into her quaking and spasming pussy. "Oh fuck. You feel so good, Beautiful." I groaned. I held her hips in a bruising grip and fucked her hard and fast on the counter. "Cum again. I want to feel it from the inside this time." I groaned angling my hips to give the most pressure to her long little clit. Beautiful's clit is a work of art. When she'd really going it stands out almost two full inches. Sometimes I wonder what it would take to talk her into getting it pierced. But she probably wouldn't be able to function anymore. She'd be a walking, stuttering orgasm. Just the thought of a constantly orgasming Stephanie did me in. I know the guys are gonna clown me for cumming this quickly. But God. "Shit Beautiful…FUCK! I'm cumming. I'm busting as early as a teenage boy." I moaned. "Soo Gooood!"

I had to sit down before I fell down, and Bobby used that opportunity to snatch Our Girl from me.

**Bobby PoV**

I've been hard enough to bust rocks, since the damn sex shop, and Lester took first. Serves him right shooting so quickly. I picked Stephanie up as he fell onto a stool. I pressed her against the wall leading into the dining room and slid home into her juicy little pussy. "Sweetheart. I'm gonna fuck you so hard, you're gonna walk funny. That ok?" I whispered into her ear. And she nodded. Thank god. I wasn't gently. I've been gentle for two weeks. I watched Lester and Hector go at each other in a show that was for Our Girl, but turned me on far more than I'd ever thought it would, and now two weeks later I was finally able to give Stephanie the pounding we both needed that night. "Think about watching Lester and Hector. Remember the fucking you wanted after seeing them. Imagine this is then, right after Lester just finished cumming up Hector's ass. Right after Hector just finished shooting his load all over Lester's belly and chest."

"Holy FUCK!" she yelled, and I felt her pussy rippling around me as she came.

I am a bad as Lester. I was only able to get her off three times. Feel her delicious pussy for a little while before it was too much for me. "Take it Sweetheart. FUCKING BUGGERING HELL! You feel so good!" I yelled as I poured myself into her. All too soon Tank was peeling me away from where I was crushing her into the wall.

**Tank's PoV**

God it's been so long since the one night we were able to let loose and fuck Our Girl any way we or she pleased. I'm way too far gone watching her with Bobby and Lester. It was so sexy watching them fucking her, loving her. So I carry her to the couch, pressing kissed to the flushed flesh of her neck and shoulders the whole while, loving the shivers of pleasure still running through her. I pull her into my lap, dotting kissed over her breasts as I slip my fingers into her pussy. I wet my finger, and drag the moisture up and over her highly sensitized clit. I can't hold back a chuckle as she flys away again. "That's it Baby. Cum for me Little Girl."

I turn to Lester, and gesture for the fur lined paddle I'd appropriated from the bags earlier. As soon as it was in my hand I turned Stephanie over, and across my thighs. "Now Little Girl, why were you on limited activities these last two weeks? Why did we have to settle for oral sex, almost exclusively for the first two weeks of our relationship?" I asked in my best ALPHA voice.

"Because I wouldn't listen. Because I couldn't just accept the concerns you guys had. Because I trusted that asshole Morelli not to be like his dad. Because I'm too stubborn for my own good." She answered immediately. Good that means she's given this some thought.

"Since you are clearly remorseful, and have thought this through, I will only give you two for each of those infractions." I said silkily.

"Oh God..." She moaned and shivered.

"Now you will count each one. And you will do so in the following matter. One, Thank you Tank, May I please have another. For the eighth you will say thank you Tank may I please have your cock. Understood?"

"Yeeessss Tank." She groaned and writhed on my lap.

I brought the paddle down with swift efficiency. By the end of her punishment, her bottom was a lovely shade of pink. She had cum twice, and thus earned two extra swats. When she was finally able to lower herself onto my cock; she was a blubbering, orgasming mass of pleasure. I grabbed her ass cheeks and rocked her forward and back, bring us both to one of the best orgasms I've ever had. Her little cunt drained me completely dry.

Stephanie fell asleep almost immediately thereafter. I didn't move her, just asked Bobby to grab a blanket and cover us. I cuddled her and Lester and Bobby joined us on the couch. We watched movies, and every so often, when I'd start to soften enough to slip out, Our Girl would moan and her walls would clench, bringing me back to full alertness. Not at all a bad way to spend an afternoon.

* * *

><p>Scopate facile = an easy lay<p>

Donnaccia = slut, hussy

Stracciamanici = sexually insatiable woman


	10. Mental Meanderings of Men

WHEN IT RAINS

Illiandyanndra

Stephanie Plum

Pairings: Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

Rating: Eventually NC-17

Spoilers: Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

Disclaimer: Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

AN: I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…

AN2: Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

**CHAPTER 10**

**Junior PoV**

Well I can honestly say that not a single man among us expected what happened this morning at the staff meeting. I mean. It's still nothing compared to the announcement of two weeks ago. But there really isn't any way for a CO to top "Myself, the entire core team and Stephanie have entered a non-conventional relationship and will be moving off site to explore it fully."Part of me is glad, honored, humbled that they shared their relationship with us. But a part of me feels like it was need to know and I didn't need to know. The funniest thing is it kinda works for them. I remember a few months back Ram was saying he didn't think Tank could pee without orders from Ranger at this point in his life. They have been together just that long. Granted Ram was saying that because Tank is as mean as a bear with a sore paw whenever Ranger is in the wind.

But Bombshell, she may need all seven of those men to keep her relatively safe and out of trouble. Hell if it will make sure she finally kicks that supreme asshole Detective Morelli to the curb; I'd tip my hat into the ring too. Man do I hate that guy. He's so undeservedly smug. I mean don't get me wrong he's a halfway decent cop…but he has a real bad habit of overplaying his power. He uses it for everything, getting free food, copping free drinks; he even uses his badge to get free servicing on Stark Street. And worse of all, not one of us could tell Bombshell. How do you tell your little sister, heck she's closer to me than my actual little sister, that the man she is with fucks hookers on the side?

Still today's announcement was great. Bombshell, she's gonna work with us all the time now. Granted she's bringing Miss Lula with her and Miss Lula scares the bejesus out of me. Not herself or even her personality…but the fact that one of these days all that spandex will rebel, and I so don't want to be there for that. Still Bombshell will be an official Rangeman. So that will be cool. Kinda jealous that Manny and Ram get to work in her department. But I know she'll like them cause they actually talk. Though sometimes I think she likes trying to see if she can make us crack. We are like her own personal version of the British Royal Guards.

Woody just brought me an envelope that had been delivered for Bombshell. He is not looking happy at all. "It's not physically harmful," Is all he would say. He asked me to deliver it to either the lady herself or one of her knights, because he had to get back to the monitors. Yeah right…he just didn't want to be anywhere near when they opened the damn thing.

**Cal PoV**

When my shift was over I headed towards the Elevator. Bobby had texted all of us to let us know that Bomber was taken off medical restrictions. I'm fairly sure that the smile that crossed my face when I read that text in the break room this afternoon left several of the younger guys disturbed and possibly frightened. Oh well. Of course, just because I've been dreaming of fucking Bombshell for three hours, someone had to stop me on the way.

"Cal man, sorry to bother you after shift, but Hal and Hector are in the field. Ranger isn't back yet and the rest of the core team is off today." Junior said walking up to me. I saw a thick manila envelope in his hands and almost cringed. "This was dropped off for Bomber. While not exactly physically harmful…It's really not good. What should we do?"

"Give it to me. I'll take care of it." I said. With a sigh, I entered the elevator, and headed up to seven. Entering the apartment, I was unsurprised to find Bobby, Tank and Lester there with Our Girl. She was currently being bounced up and down on Tank's lap while alternately licking and sucking Bobby and Lester's cock. God Stephanie Plum is the sexiest woman I've ever known. I know that there are a lot of men who would disagree with me. But they are blind idiots. Then again they also don't get to see her like this. Truly aroused, happy and comfortable in her own skin. It's funny I've always known she was beautiful, but she was amazing like this. Flushed and sweaty, her curls clinging to her skin, her mouth either filled with one of our cocks, or open, screaming and begging. Her eyes bluer than blue. God in moments like this when I can see her throat muscles working frantically to swallow all of the spunk Lester and then Bobby just released into her mouth, I wish I was a better artist. I would paint her like this if I could.

My thoughts wander for a moment, and I wonder why I am so comfortable with what most people would believe is a crazy fucked up situation. But I'm not just comfortable, I'm happy. We all have so much emotional baggage and sexual fetishes, I doubt that we could be really happy in a traditional relationship. I really think this will work, because Bomber needs us all not just sexually, but psychologically. She's spent so much of her life feeling like an outcast amongst the ones she thinks she is most like…that she needs to be surrounded by us. Men who not only value her beauty and body, but also value her strength of will and personality. A strange group of people who will fight and die not just to protect her, but also to make sure that she never has to change anything she doesn't want to. To us she is perfect just the way she is. Well almost. But she's ready to start exploring 'butt stuff' so yeah. She's perfect.

Tank just roared loud enough to wake the dead…so I'm fairly sure that it's my turn to please Our Girl. We can deal with the envelop when everyone is together.

**Lester PoV**

Cal walked in a few minutes ago, giving an envelop a dirty look, before looking at us like we were the most erotic thing he'd ever seen. There are times I worry that this will all blow up in our faces. But then one of us looks at the others in that way and it lets me know that we'll be all good. I feel confident saying this for several reasons. We are dealing with eight alpha male personalities. And yeah Beautiful is included in that. Stephanie is female. I know. But if you look at her psychological profile, she thinks far more like the alpha male, than she would ever imagine. Just take a moment and consider how uncomfortable she becomes when asked to deal with or even address emotions or feelings. She is loyal and protective. She displays rather pronounced dominant protector traits when in public, or when dealing with those she considers her protectorate such as her Grandmother and nieces. But when she is safe in a controlled environment, she allows herself to turn that off and let us dominate and protect her. This dichotomy is present only in human alphas. For some reason, Human alphas have to find a place to shut down their control. A place to just breathe and rest, not physical rest really…emotional rest. That **home** place. We are that place for her, as she is that place for us.

I watch as Cal walks over to Tank and Our Girl. He gives her a deep kiss, and I realize that he's tasting us in her mouth. Its intriguing how Cal, one of the few of us who qualifies as an almost beta personality. Cal doesn't like to lead, and feels uncomfortable in the leadership role. Yet at the same time, he is quick to take the lead when the situation calls for it. In this relationship, Cal shows this by his tendency to enjoy cleaning her. It's his way of caregiving. Hal has a similar tendency, but his is a more customary version. He likes to help her bathe and shower; he even likes to lotion and dress her. Cal's is a more primal thing, likes to lick her clean. I think he has more a pack type of mentality than the rest of us. I think that is one of the reasons why he's started to make overtures to Hector about becoming more sexual with him. For Cal there seems to be no boundaries as far as sex with in his pack. However since he senses that that is not the reality for all of the JLS, he gets the connection he wants this way. Stephanie can pick out our colognes in a crowded room. I have a feeling Cal could track our underlying scents through anything.

I head into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water and return to the living room. Something tells me to let the envelop rest until we are all together. Besides, I really love watching. I especially like to watch Cal enjoying his cream pie.

**Tank PoV**

God I don't know if I have ever cum so many times in one afternoon. Its days like today that make me remember there may be a real physiological reason for Little Girl to have all seven of us. 73 days of little to no satisfaction followed by fourteen days of partial satisfaction, and I can honestly say if it hadn't been separated by that one night of complete and total satisfaction…Stephanie probably would have killed all three of us today. I myself came six times. I counted eight for Bobby and seven for Lester. And Our Girl is still going strong. Suffice it to say I was quite glad when Cal joined us. He's got one hell of a mess to clean up. But it's his thing. I glance over and I can tell you Lester is psychoanalyzing us. Some people should not be allowed to take psychology classes.

Lester is one of those people who take psychology for purely selfish reasons. He wants to know what other people are thinking, not to help them, no he's just curious. And sometimes he wants to be able to circumvent their defenses. I learned to do the same thing. But I learned it to become more effective at extracting information from really bad people. Lester used it to get into as many girls as he could. Now, he's actually probably using it to try to make sure that he spots any possible issues before they become problems. So maybe one day I'll be happy for his masters in shrinking people's minds.

Ranger is our leader, he keeps us moving forward and makes the decisions that no one else wants to make. Do the things no one else wants to do. For example, we made him ask Frank 'Night Fox' Plum, where we could go to have a HUGE bed made. Bobby is our medic; he makes sure that we maintain proper health and fitness. He has been instrumental in getting Our Girl to work out, and eat better. Cal and Hal they are care givers. They try to make sure that we are all taken care of in ways we don't really think about. When I still had the kittens, Hal was at the store and saw a special kitty litter for multi-cat households, he bought me a huge bag. Why because I had mentioned in passing that the kittens were having trouble training to the box because they could sense the other's markers on it. Two hours later Cal stopped by my house with a couple of litter boxes. He heard the same comment and assumed that the best way to fix the problem was to make sure the kittens didn't have to share.

Hector and I we are protectors. More than anything else we will fight, kill and die to protect those we consider ours. Over the years, watching Morelli yell at Our Girl, it has been Hector and I that the others have had to stop most often from killing that ass. In fact, I may never know what caused it; but I do know that there was a night about three months ago; we had to put Hector on lock down. He came in from an installation, and changed into his banger clothes. Low hanging jeans, dark tee shirt and flannel, he put away all his guns, but strapped on six different knives. All we could get out of him was that he was going to skin Morelli and they would never find the rest of him. It took us four hours to get him to relax. He eventually told Lester why he was going to commit first degree murder, but apparently Hector made Lester SWEAR to never tell me.

Lester, he is out jester and shrink. He will go out of his way to make sure we don't let little things get blown out of proportion and he will make us see the humor in every situation. He and Stephanie…they are the heart of the group. Shocking isn't it. The single least likely person of our pack to talk about their feelings and the one most likely to make fun of the 'not so serious' feelings of others are the heart and soul of this amalgamation of personalities. But Our Girl is even more than that. She is the light in our world, she is our passion and our redemption and the glue that holds us…binds us. She allows us to FEEL again. Most people will never understand how much that means. But when you've cut off almost all positive emotions, it becomes difficult to feel anything. But she had brought that back. She's brought the color back into our lives, our world. If Lester is the court jester, She is our Queen.

I go and grab a bottle of water, and sit down at the breakfast bar to drink it. Sitting there is an envelop. Cal must have brought it up. It's addressed to Our Girl and I didn't get the joy feeling from it. I looked at it and I looked over at Stephanie, where she was riding Cal to glory. She hadn't even let him get undressed. His cargos were bunched around his boots and he was half in and half out of his shirt. But his head was thrown back in pleasure, so I doubt he minded. The envelop and the trouble I'm sure its bringing can wait until we are all together.

**Bobby PoV**

I haven't told the others but I've talked to my mother about us. I will tell you that this is actually an ongoing conversation. So far, she and I have spoken four times, and I think she is moving towards acceptance. And the biggest roadblock, funnily enough is not the six other men I am sharing my Sweetheart with. Nope. My mother's biggest problem is that Stephanie is white. She is almost ok with the sharing aspect. Apparently she read a case study of career military men and it says that they have real trouble with civilian life because they have become so accustomed to doing everything together. The theory is bullshit, but if it makes her more accepting of my reality then I'll let her have her delusions.

She has met all the guys the core team actually took her out to dinner several times when we were setting up the Atlanta office. So them she is fine with, the best I've gotten out of her in regards to Stephanie is that 'at least she isn't blonde'. Yeah real enlightened mom. But I'm working on her. I will never let Stephanie know any of this, of course. She has more than enough mother issues without adding mine. I'm still shocked her mother didn't freak out about all this. But then again if she has been worrying for the last twenty five years that Stephanie would lose control of her hormones and run rampant on the men of the 'burg…maybe she feels that she can relax now.

But I think award for most interesting and unexpected parental reaction has to go to Frank Plum. He really could care less that there are seven of us. Most of us are Rangers, and he respects us so he WANTS a grandson. That's really the sum of it. Oh and now he doesn't have to kill Morelli. That isn't to say he won't; I just think that now if it does happen, it will be a father & 7 sons-in-law bonding experience. Yeah I can handle that. In fact I think I'll go ahead and order the supplies we'll need to ensure there is no forensic evidence. If I order it bit by bit and bury it in the regular Rangeman supply orders, it will never raise any red flags.

In fact maybe I should do that anyway. That envelop on the counter is giving me all kinds of bad juju. I know vibes are not scientific…but if you grow black in the south, you know all about juju. Just ask Pierre…no don't cause if he knew I even thought his real name…I'd be the one on restricted physical activity. Yeah I think I'll leave that thing alone until the entire JLS is assembled.

**Hector PoV**

I must say this is how a man should always come home. Tank, Lester, and Bobby were all laying about naked as the day they were born and obviously spent. Cal was being ridden hard by Our Girl. It was apparent he'd only gotten home a little while ago; he was still sort of dressed. His head was thrown back in pleasure, and it is as if they were calling me to join them. I stripped off my clothes and walked up behind Estefania. I covered her moaning mouth with my own and pressed my burgeoning erection against the soft skin of her back.

Her skin was covered with a thin sheen of sweat and her breath tasted of her and the cum of at least two of our lovers. Exquisito. I dotted licks and kisses down her back and ass, tasting her over and over again, before I began to ply my tongue to her sweet ass and Cal's tightening balls. Very soon they were both tumbling over the edge of passion. Keening and crying out their joy to the heavens. Before my sweet Estefania could finish the rolls and pitches of her orgasm, I pulled her up and off Cal's cock and lap. Bending her forward I sank into her grasping sucking depths, fucking her roughly; drawing out the exquisite pleasure racking her body, and fastened my mouth to Cal's still erupting manhood. Deliciouso. I didn't last very long. I wanted her, them too much, and when Cal fisted his hand in my hair and pulled me up for a deep drugging kiss, it was all too much, too good.

I fell to the floor, bringing Estefania with me. She groaned and looked at me with desire filled eyes. I kissed her until I felt hands taking her from me. Cal was ready for another round, and I watched as he plunged to the hilt into her tightness. Leaning up I licked their joining once more. Driving them and myself crazy. Several times we did this exchange. Imagine my surprise when I felt Cal kneel under us. I cried in pleasure and happiness when I felt his tongue lap at my balls and Estefania's tender, sensitive clit. Cal's tongue was amazingly long and flexible. And he was not content simply licking our junction for long. He pressed his tongue against my asshole, making me beg and plead for more. He was driving me mad. But all too soon he stopped and stood. Cal's dick was hot and hard and a lot bigger than his tongue as he started to push into me. Ey Dios Mio. So good.

Getting fucked while fucking is the best thing I've ever experienced in my life. We were like a well-oiled fucking machine. I'd thrust into Estefania and Cal would thrust into me as I retreated. His mouth was fastened on the side of my neck marking me…and I didn't even mind. It was so, so good. It took imagining Grandma Mazur french kissing that douchebag Morelli to keep me from cumming long enough to make sure that Our Girl came again too. But I did it. This time three voices rang out…crying, screaming out pleasure.

We collapsed to the floor. Cal and I taking the brunt of the fall. Looking up I saw Hal enter the apartment. I could see the bulge in his cargos from here. Somehow I don't believe that Little Bomber Girl will complain at all.

He paused to ask Tank about an envelop on the counter, our big friend told him not to worry about it until everyone was home and sated. That could take some time.

**Ranger PoV**

I finally left the furniture maker's workshop, and made a call to get both him and Frank some cohjibas. Melvin came up with some amazing additions he could do to make our weapons storage more efficient. He agreed to make a special bedroom set and bookshelves for my princess, if I can get her mother to let her come up and spend time with me here. I have looked at dozens of furniture stores and I haven't been able to find the perfect thing for her yet. I also placed orders for some bookshelves for Bobby, Tank and Hector's personal spaces. Which of course meant that I had to call the decorating team to find out what woods they were using in their spaces. But it's finished. They may be a little mad at me for spending money on them, but so what. This is going to be a long term thing so they will just have to get used to it.

I came to a realization in that workshop. For this to work we are going to have honesty. Across the board. I believe that we all realize that we have to share information with Babe…but we are going to have to open up a bit more to each other as well. Easily said…almost impossible to do. Especially when you consider that not only are we males…dominate males at that. But we have had sharing trained right out of most of us. I acknowledge that even before this I knew a lot about my men. I knew that Cal has had a desire to eat a woman out after she was full of cum. But I also knew that he's never before been with a woman that he could do such a thing with. Let alone trusted to have been with men whose cum he trusted not to be diseased. And Lester, he has ALWAYS wanted to run a train on a woman. He is currently in seventh heaven. Tank, he has never been with a woman as small as Our Girl. He has wanted to be with one and play a few age games…naughty student and the hard ass teacher is just his favorite.

Bobby is probably waiting on the play room to be fully functional before approaching Babe with his real fetish. He has a thing for riding crops and cats. Hal actually told Stephanie his already. That boy gets hard whenever he thinks of a naked woman in a bubble bath. Once I told Stephanie that I wasn't sick physically or mentally…but sexually. I have only begun to admit even to myself how true that statement was. And yet Melvin knows all about it. It's funny how he explained it as need to know information. Since he was building the bed and play things, he needed to know. Before I left he reminded me that the rest of my lovers needed to know as well.

Oh don't get me wrong I've known all along that I was eventually going to have to tell them about this but exactly how do you explain to men who count on you to always be in control that you want to be flogged and fuck the hell out of someone at the same time. This is not normal. Not even for us. I have a feeling that this day is not going to end well. And I still haven't explained to Babe, what that free standing drain in the water closet was most likely for. Thank God none of us have that particular kink…I don't think.


	11. Curses

WHEN IT RAINS

Illiandyanndra

Stephanie Plum

Pairings: Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

Rating: Eventually NC-17

Spoilers: Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

Disclaimer: Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

AN: I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…

AN2: Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 11<strong>

**Frank PoV**

I just got off the phone with yet another asshole calling to talk about my baby girl. They were wanting to let Helen know that Stephanie went into the Pleasures Treasures with one of these Rangemen and came out with huge bags and boxes of stuff. Turns out it was Angelina Morelli. So I asked her if she was jealous of the Rangeman or my Pumpkin. She got all huffy so I followed up by reminding her that Anthony goes in there every Friday night. She started to hem and haw. Stupid broad. Nothing wrong with what goes on in the bedroom of consenting adults. Helen refuses to let me go in there, but she never minds the fact that every so often I get a brown package delivered from Adam and Eve.

The next time I answered the phone I was happy to find it actually was for me. "So Carpenter, what did you think of Ranger?" I asked after we exchanged the usual pleasantries.

"I'd think more of him if he'd talk. Getting information out of that boy was worse than pulling teeth. And he kept comparing me to Edna. Apparently once you're over fifty talking about sex is a big no-no for these young bucks." Melvin said laughing.

"Maybe he's a bit repressed. But I got a feeling that won't last long." I returned. "Hell, I'm tired of hearing my mother in law talking about sex, it has nothing to do with her age and everything to do with HER."

"That boy ain't repressed. He's catholic. All ya'll pope worshipers are crazy. So tell me what he wouldn't; he got any brothers in that troop of his?" Melvin teased.

"Mel, my daughter got a full reading rainbow you of dating. Two black boys, three latinos, and two white boys. Three of those boys are built like brick shithouses. HUGE, and solid. The smallest one of them is the most dangerous. He's a former latino gangbanger. I ain't ashamed to admit that he scares the hell out of me. I can tell you the only reason Helen isn't dead after the time he came to dinner is because it would have upset my Pumpkin. But my little girl she kisses him right on that teardrop tat on his cheek and calls him a sweetheart." I told him as honestly as we always were.

"That youngest girl of yours never has seen color. Don't know where you went wrong with that older one. She is worse than Helen ever thought to be, and that's saying something." Mel joked.

"I know. But Helen ain't that bad, at least not behind closed doors, and you know that. Problem is that once a woman reforms, they can go overboard. I think she was so happy Val came out peaches and cream rather than café au lait…she went a little batty." I said calmly.

"Well still it wasn't your fault she wanted to know what it was like to sleep with a black guy. If she didn't want it to be anybody ya'll knew she should have said that to begin with." He huffed.

"Yeah well. That woman got a bit too concerned about what other people thought for the last few decades. Thank god Stephanie finally managed to shock her out of it." I said laughing.

"How is she taking this?" Melvin asked concerned. "I mean you said Stephie has two brothers, and three latin boys. Is she ok?"

"Apparently my wife never told me that she had an aunt who was a certified nympho. She's been worrying herself crazy that Stephanie was gonna sleep her way through the burg. That's why she's been pushing that testosterone laden Morelli ass at My Pumpkin. So all in all Helen's just glad that unconventional relationship this maybe…at least it's an actual relationship." I said shaking my head at the craziness of my family.

"What about your oldest girl?"

**Valerie PoV**

I have been hiding in this stupid house for the last two freaking weeks. I barely even go out for groceries, and I've had the girls riding the bus. And it's all my stupid little sister's fault. She just had to DUMP Joe Morelli. What woman in her right mind dumps Joe Morelli? He is the finest specimen of man ever born in the burg. And she dumps him and now I find out she's dating some black guy and buying out the Pleasures Treasures. It's just so embarrassing. I tried to talk to Mom about it and she was all happy about Heffy Stephie's new relationship. Even tried to sell me some bullshit about killing Joe herself for hitting Stephanie. But she must have deserved it. She probably humiliated him at work again.

God if I had managed to hook Joe Morelli, my life could have been so much better. I could have lived as a navy wife until he got out and then we'd have moved back here. And gotten a house near Mom and Dad. I'd have never married that asshole Steven, and Morelli men may cheat, but they never leave. As long as he came home to me at the end of the day, who cares if he sleeps with a million other women. God Stephanie is so stupid she had a LAWYER, and a good one, not a crappy one like Albert. And she divorced him for sleeping with another woman, when he would have stayed. She could have had it all a husband with tons of money and blackmail material to keep him buying whatever she wanted. Besides, maybe if she has stayed home and been a good housewife like me, he wouldn't have cheated so early in the marriage.

God Joe and I had it all planned. Once he and Stephanie got married, he would be my brother in law. And on days when he was off he could reasonably come over and fix some stuff around the house. I mean the whole world knows that Albert is a butterfingers. While he was here he would help me out with the fact that I'm almost constantly unsatisfied. He's been a great 'friend' over the last year. So much so I'm praying this little girl comes here with light hair or eyes…otherwise, I'm going to have to name her Francine, and blame Daddy for her Italian looks.

It's too bad I was at Rosalee Deltornio's house the day Joe got Stephanie to play choo-choo. If I'd been the one to play with him instead, I'm sure I'd be married to him today. What is wrong with Heffy Stephie?

**Stephanie PoV**

What is wrong with me? I've exhausted Tank, Bobby, Lester, I think Cal and I broke Hector, and I'm currently looking at Hal as if he were the last Boston Crème. Oh good his ESP must be working. He's starting to take off his clothes. I'm so bad. I'm not supposed to be this…I've turned into Joyce…just with higher standards.

"Oh God. Yes Cal, So GOOOD!" I moaned. It is so sexy when Cal licks me after. He keeps his tongue flat and his strokes gentle, and I have these little tiny aftershocks, every time he drags his tongue over my clit. God what is wrong with me? I have seven wonderful, handsome, attentive, well-endowed men who truly seem to love me. ME not some idealized version of me…not Val in Stephanie clothing…but me. I refuse to ruin it by have a mini-meltdown, even in my head.

"Love you Hal," I whispered against his ear as he slid into me. It's funny, with my JLS I have no trouble saying the l-word in the heat of the moment…I will learn to say it other times too. They say it all the time. And I hear it even when they don't say it. Even when Tank was bring that paddle down on my ass, or when Bobby was demanding I pick out the toys I would enjoy at Pleasure Treasures. "OOOHHHHH HALLLLL!"

^^So you know what maybe this bubble of perfect happiness can't last forever.^^ I think to myself when I'm capable of actual thought again, who knows how long later. ^^But I refuse to let anything take my happiness away from me.^^ Ranger came home a few minutes later and by the time he was finished, I could no longer tell you which way was up. Hal dragged me to the shower and helped me get cleaned up and into a pair of my Rangeman panties. All the guys loved those for some reason. Stepping into the living room, I noticed that Ranger had a big manilla envelop with my name on it…God DAMN it, those are NEVER good.

**Hal PoV**

I came in to the most beautiful sounds a man can come home to. Then I got to make love to Our Girl and she whispered she loves me. I know Bombshell has some trouble saying that so each of us; we treasure it when she says it to us. I noticed the envelope on the counter with her name on it and Tank, sitting like a sentinel next to it just waves me into the living room. "We'll worry about it when we're all together." He says. And in Ranger's absence Tank's word is law.

So I push it to the back of my mind and enjoy some one on one Bombshell time. After I've emptied myself into her for the third time, Ranger walks in and I get to watch as he bends her into positions she would never think herself capable of. Once Ranger has exhausted himself for the time being, I help our girl get showered. I hear Tank place the call to Palomia, she is Ella's sister and her Haywood Street replacement. Our Girl wants Ella with her, so of course Ella is moving with us. However she has had so much to do with the design teams and readying the new house, she has already turned over this location to Palomia…and I've got to admit she is almost as good a cook as Ella.

But I also see that the time has come to deal with the envelope. Man I hope Palomia made cake. I get the feeling that Bombshell is going to need it.

**Helen PoV**

I'm so glad I agreed to let Frank deal with the phone calls today. It's too bad that I cannot even go grocery shopping without hearing from some gossipy old bitty about Stephanie. But she's found a way to take care of her illness, and while I know she won't be giving up her dangerous job, she will at least be working with men who have a vested interest in keeping her safe. This may not be the ideal 'burg marriage, but this will at least let me sleep at night without a tipple of Johnny Walker Red first. I just wish I didn't have to hear from all these people talking about her, when they have no clue what's really going on.

"Your daughter broke my Joey's heart. I hear she's already shacked up with some nigger, and shopping at Pleasure Treasures, like the slut she is." Oh Joy Angie Morelli.

"First of all you should be ashamed. I thought you were a good Christian woman, using a racial slur like that. God should smite you down. And once your Joey laid a hand on my daughter, he became the luckiest man in the 'burg…after Frank and Ranger both let him live." I said refusing to back down just because we were in public.

"She probably deserved it." Angie said meanly.

"So I guess you deserved it when your husband beat the stuffing out of you?" I asked caustically. See I am a bad person and I am going to hell for this but I'll be damned if anyone is going to say I didn't stand up for my child. "What did you do Angie, not press his shirts right? Not have the meatloaf perfect? Did you get upset that he couldn't keep it in his pants? What, Angie, did you ask to be treated with a little bit of respect? No woman deserves to be beaten. And My DAUGHTER certainly did nothing to deserve to have her ribs fractured by your no-good, ass of a son."

"If she threw him over for some black man she should have her ass beat." Angie said as I was walking away. "I wish my Joey had never met your whore of a daughter. She's been a whore since she was six years old. None of the other girls in the neighborhood went into the garage alone with Joey. They were all good girls and none of them were the ones to teach him how to play choo-choo."

"Are you delusional? Your son learned how to play choo-choo from watching your husband and the little Killien girl that used to baby sit for you. I should have cut his little cacchio (dick) off then. Maybe then he wouldn't have raped my daughter when she was sixteen." I yelled back.

"It wasn't rape. You cannot rape a whore. My Joey was just giving your slut what she was asking for. And he wrote about it all over town, so I'm sure she was getting it from everyone she could after that." Angie screamed. Ok that is too much. That was the single most humiliating thing to ever happen to my little girl she hid in her room for the entire summer. She would only go places with her dad. She missed her junior prom because of that. For a moment, I could only remember standing outside her room and hearing her cry and not being able to do anything about it. I must have entered on of these fugue states, because the next thing I knew I was straddling Angie Morelli's chest and beating the living daylights out of her.

"Your stupid son has hurt my little girl for the last time." I yelled as I punched. "If he comes near her again, I will make sure that you don't even have a body to bury." I snarled as they dragged me off her. I broke free and kicked her a few times for good measure. "I helped put you back together every time Anthony beat you. I took you to the hospital every time he made you miscarry. But you have the nerve to talk about my child like this…well curse on you Angela Cantelo Morelli. Curse on you and your whole tribe. May none of you know a night's peace until you have all bowed and apologized to my daughter for all you have said and done and written against her. Curse on all of you!" I yelled spitting on her.

Eddie had to take me in. The store manager had called the police. But he was nice enough not to cuff me. And he agreed to call Stephanie for me so that I could call Frank. Hopefully one of them will think to call Vinnie.

**Ranger PoV**

Once Hal and Stephanie rejoined us, I was very much ready to confront the problem presented by the envelop. However, it would appear that Our Girl was not.

"Ok, before we open the ominous envelop, can we discuss the house first?" She asked glaring at the envelop in question. "What did Mr. Mel say about the furniture?"

"The bed will be ready a week from Tuesday, however the custom mattress will take three weeks from the date of the order to delivery. Your father's friend said that he will have his son e-mail us the needed measurements asap, allowing us to place the order tomorrow or the next day. As to the specialty furniture we've requested for the playroom; those will be ready the weekend after the bed and nightstands. Mr. Stevens has also agreed to build some truly spectacular weapons cabinets for the basement. Apparently he has a special way he can build them that makes them far safer if and/or when we decide to give Frank his wish." I relayed.

Hector spoke up, "_Ella, Estefania and I have been working very closely with the designers, and the social rooms are currently needing only our finishing touches, personal pictures, and things of that nature. As I understand it each of us have completed our personal spaces...with the exception of Ranger."_ He of course turned to look at me. "_Why is your space still incomplete?"_

"I made the assumption that I would simply move this bedroom over to serve as my personal space." I reasoned. "I toyed with the thought of starting over completely, but I find that I have grown attached to my bed."

They all nodded, and understood my reasoning. "well then I suppose you'd better get with Abegaile and let her rework this bedroom, just in case there is a need for it as a safe house, or something." Hal reasoned back. He raised a valid point. Especially since this apartment might be needed for afternoon 'meetings' in the future.

"Well I can honestly say that three donuts, is not enough to get me through an entire workday." Stephanie said with a laugh. I had three Boston Cremes before my appointment and I barely made it back to the apartment, after shopping with Bobby."

"Yeah, but sweetheart, part of that could have been the shopping we were doing, and the fact that once we got back here, Tank, Lester and I wanted to play with some of the new toys." Bobby added to the discussion.

"I think we've put this off as long as we can." I said holding up the envelop. Of course, just as I would have opened it, my phone rang. "TALK!" I barked into the line. "Wait, Repeat…that's what I thought you said. Call Guilemero, have him go down to the station. I want her out tonight. We'll head down as soon as we can. Has anyone called Frank? Call and let Gazarra know what steps we've taken. Alright." I clicked the phone shut. "Get dressed everyone. We roll out to the cop shop in ten."

Stephanie looked at me and sighed. "What did Grandma get arrested for?" she asked as Cal helped her to her feet.

"Nothing. As far as I know Edna is safe and sound at your parent's house. Apparently your mother lost it in Giovinnchi's and tried to beat Angela Morelli to death, before cursing the entire Morelli clan."


	12. Plot movement Little Smut

WHEN IT RAINS

Illiandyanndra

Stephanie Plum

Pairings: Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

Rating: Eventually NC-17

Spoilers: Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

Disclaimer: Not mine Stephanie and her world belong to Janet Evanovich, which if you are reading the fanfiction…you probably already knew.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

**"Speech" **

AN: I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…

AN2: Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 12<strong>

**Stephanie PoV**

I'm fairly certain that if you are responsible for your sixty one year old mother being arrested, you go to hell. And while I don't really have any clue what the fight was about, something deep inside told me that this time it was definitely my fault. Never in a million years would I have believed that I'd be bailing MY mother, of all people, out of jail. We got dressed and made it to the station in record time. My hair still wet, though Hal had been nice enough to comb it through for me and braided it into two French braids that met at the base of my neck. When I asked him how he learned to braid like that he just blushed and refused to answer. Of course the second we walked into the cop shop with Ranger bringing up the rear, Carl and Big Dog met us at the door, and started in with their oh so witty comments.

"Damn Steph, I can finally see where you and your mom are related." Carl teased before he scurried off.

"Whatever, Carl." I yelled after him.

Guilmero approached us, smiling. "Well I've managed to get the officers to sequester Helen in an interview room rather than placing her into gen pop. But she has been booked and Angela Morelli is quite determined to press charges." He explained after greeting us all.

"Well, of course she is." We heard a voice come from the doorway behind us. "Mother beat her up just for telling the truth about Heffy Stephie. God, you really cannot do anything right. First you lose Joe MORELLI, the single hottest guy in the 'burg. Then you somehow manage to get Mom brainwashed into thing it a good thing that you have a freakin' harem of those thugs. Now you get MY MOTHER arrested. How am I supposed to show my face at the next PTA meeting?" Val shouted.

"Wait…Stephanie has harem. Why did no one tell me? How the hell do you sign up for that? Is there an application process?" Big Dog yelled from the desk.

"Valerie Francine Plum." Daddy roared. "What so you think you are doing coming here and telling your sister's business in the street? Why are you even here? How did you even know Helen was arrested?"

"It's my right to be here. She is my mother too. As to how I found out, Joe is my friend and has been my friend since before he even knew Heffy Stephie over there. He called to let me know that Mom had been arrested for assault. Heffy Stephie's been hanging out with those spic and nigger thugs so much she has infected my mother with her crass behavior." Val said disgustedly.

"Valerie. I did not raise you to speak like that." Helen said angrily as Eddie led her out from the back. "You should know better than to use racial slurs. I did not raise you to say things like that. We are all God's children. Especially those seven men; men who are good and honorable and have saved your sister's butt time after time!" I watched as my mother got madder and madder. "There is nothing at all worse than a racist. How dare you?" she ranted for a good ten minutes, before pulling one of my moves. It had to be one of my moves, because I'm 300 percent positive that she did not mean to say the next part out loud. "Especially since you were one day away from being half black yourself, for God's sake." Mom didn't mean to say that at all since she threw her hands over her mouth as soon as she realized the words had flown out.

"Damn, Helen. You mean I've been badgering Mr. Robinson at the senior's center all these years to see his pecker, so I could confirm what they say about black men, and you've had practical information all these years that you haven't shared!" Grandma said; 'subtly' redirecting the attention from Mom. Daddy used the diversion to take Mom into his arms. "Well don't that just beat all."

"Mom…how could you cheat on Daddy?" Saint Valerie asked aghast.

"Valerie, your mother would never, ever do something like cheating on me." Daddy said, as he comforted Mom. "It was the seventies…me and some of my buddies from Nam got together for dinner every now and then. So when your mother told me that she wanted to know if her mother's magazines were right about black men, one of them helped us out." He pressed a kiss to my mother's mouth that seriously made me advert my eyes…no one should ever, EVER have to see their parents' kiss like that. "Carpenter, could have been you father as easily as me. Not that it would have made a lick of difference. You've been my daughter since I saw the two pink lines."

"Wonder how your precious 'burg would have treated you if you'd been biracial…Saint Valerie." I said snidely. I noticed that Ranger seemed to be biting back a chuckle. Wonder what that's about.

"We'd have moved to Newark if she had been. Those self-righteous bitties in the 'burg would have made my life hell otherwise. Maybe life would have been better if she had been. I was so relieved that Frank wouldn't have to uproot his whole life because I wanted to swing a little…I may have gone a little crazy on being the perfect housewife after Val turned out to be his. I even quit nursing school so I could make sure to fit the mold. God Stephanie, I am so sorry. I've spent years trying to force you to be something you aren't and something I never really wanted to be." Mom said moving over to engulf me into one of our family's rare hugs.

"Damn, Bomber, you have the most interesting family drama, ever." Cal said in a stage whisper.

"All it proves is that the family is full of three generations of whores." Bella Morelli said meanly from the doorway where she stood supporting a battered Angela.

"Oh, please. Stop being so sanctimonious Arabella Morelli. I'm as old as you…I know for a fact that little Donatella was born less than five months after your wedding. Just like I know that Anthony might be a Morelli by blood, but it was your father-in-law that knocked you up, cause your husband was overseas serving the whole time you were pregnant with that boy. In fact, I'm willing to bet money that both your boys are Papa Morelli's not your husband, Joey." Grandma said.

"You, shut your mouth, Edna Mazur. Before I curse you." Bella shouted.

"As I hear it you'll soon be learning all about the magic of my people. Helen got your daughter in law with a good one. I'll match your Sicilian with my Hungarian any day. I will not stand here and let you bad mouth my daughter, or grandchildren…especially since we may be sharing a great-grand soon." Grandma said snidely.

"Nope! No way. Not a chance in hell, Grandma…I made sure Joe always used condoms, and I took care of myself just in case." I assured the room at large.

"Right kitchen, wrong pot…you may have been careful with Joe, Baby Granddaughter…but your sister wasn't."

I'm pretty sure that time stopped in the Trenton Police Station that night. The gasps that we all sucked in at this point may have actually created a vacuum.

I could see from the look on Val's face…it was true. But she was about to try to brazen her way through. "Grandma…are you going senile. Heffy Stephie is the one who was dating Joe. I'm married to my snuggle-umpkins, remember."

"I'm not going senile. I can tell you and your sister apart just as easy as the rest of the room. And I KNOW that it was you I saw giving Joe Morelli the ill nana; Lula told me they call it that sometime; to Joe behind Helen's kitchen while he was there supposedly with Stephanie and poor Albert was taking care of Lisa. I didn't say anything yet, because I'm still waiting on the evidence to comeback at the drugstore. I could have gotten them back sooner, but I hate paying extra for the rush jobs. Then my baby granddaughter separated from that scumbag Morelli, so it was moot anyway." Grandma said with a evil grin. "Probably I wouldn't have said anything to anybody, but then you had to come in here and tell the whole world your sister's business…trying to make her relationship with those nice bounty hunters something shameful, when you are just jealous as you ever were."

"I'm not jealous of Heffy Stephie. Why would I be? I'm mom's favorite. She and I did everything together. Stephie can't cook without causing a fire, she can't run a home and she's hopeless at marriage. I mean Steven may have left me. But it was after YEARS not weeks." Valerie bitched.

"OK. I've had it. I don't know what your problem is lady…but you are a fucking wack job." Hal said moving from behind me. I don't think I'd ever heard Hal curse…apparently the rest of the JLS felt the same cause they were all looking at him like he's grown a second head. "You have a mom and dad who obviously love you, a sister who loves your daughters so much that men who barely know YOU have secured their futures, a grandmother who is willing to go toe to toe with the dragon of the 'burg for your family, a cousin, who while a pervert, makes sure that any of your family that needs a job has one, even if he probably should have said 'no its too dangerous'. I mean am I remembering wrong…Wasn't it Stephanie who moved out of HER apartment when you needed a place to live? It was Stephanie who made sure that your mom stayed off your case when you had your little anti-'burg rebellion. You should be on your knees thanking God for a sister like her…instead you go behind her back and fuck the low down dirty mutherfucker that was verbally abusing her and apparently cheating on her all while claiming he loved her. You are one sick twisted bitch."

"You are sharing my sister with five other men, and you have the nerve to call me sick and twisted?" Valerie said with a huff. Ignoring, as usual, anything positive anyone had to say about me.

My Mother spoke up. "Valerie, I am ashamed of you. How could you do that to your sister? She has been nothing but wonderful to you since you and the girls came back from California."

"You know what, I don't care." I spoke up. "I have you and Daddy and Grandma in my court. When my JLS and I decided not to make any attempt to hide this, I said that those who love me will be happy for me and fuck anyone who isn't. Val has hated me since the day I was born. I was stupid to think that would ever change." I gave my sister a hard look. "But if you EVER treat Mary Alice, or Lisa the way you've treated me…or encourage Angie to do it…I will take those girls. I will take them and hide them so far away from you they will not only forget that you were ever less than sane, they won't even remember what you look like." I growled.

"You will keep your nympho hands off my daughters." She snarled at me.

"NO. Valerie, you will never make a comment like that about your sister again. And if you don't change the way you treat Mary Alice, I'll petition the courts myself." Daddy said commandingly. "Ranger and his men are good men who I respect and who go out of their way to make your sister happy. If you were sleeping with the Morelli boy while he was with your sister, then you are no longer welcome in my home."

"But Daddy, No." Valerie begged.

"Valerie, you have been spoiled your entire life. The apple of your mother's eye, but I cannot believe that you would do something that you had to know had the possibility of crushing your sister. IF she HAD been in love with Morelli, how do you think she would have felt when she found out about you sleeping with him? Your husband loves you. How do you think he will feel? You are no better than the Barnhardt girl." Daddy said taking Mom's hand and leaving the cop shop.

Man do I hope Guilermo was finished getting her bailed out. We all went our separate ways after that. Bella and Angela circled camp around Valerie. But there was no hope that the entire 'burg wouldn't know about her and Joe…Carl, Big Dog, and Eddie all looked like they couldn't wait to tell someone. And since Eddie is bound to tell Shirley…the entire world would know soon enough.

By the time we made it back to Haywood we were all exhausted, so we agreed to table the envelop until the next morning. "We'll meet in the small conference room off my office at nine to discuss the contents of the stupid envelope. For now I think we can all use some rest. Lula and Stephanie begin training tomorrow at 0'six hundred." Ranger said authoritatively.

"Oh joy." I thought as I stripped and climbed into bed.

* * *

><p>The next morning came far, far too early. Bobby dragged me to the shower, where he proceeded to gently lead me into an orgasm…only one however. It would seem that the guys have some big plans for me later. I strapped on a sports bar and some of my Rangeman panties. Never attempt exercise in anything other than cotton panties. Anything else is just asking for bad things in coochieville. Anyway. I topped those with some running shorts and threw one of Ranger's wife beaters over the lot and Bobby dragged me to the basement.<p>

I was shocked and amazed to see Lula already there. She didn't look very happy to be there. But she was there, in florescent green cotton shorts, with a matching sports bra layered over a white one, with a big white basketball jersey on top of those. This morning was spent on doing tests to see where we stood. I was in better shape than Lula but not by much. I could run faster and longer, but she had better upper body strength than I did, and she knew some self-defense, other than just sitting on people. Of course, it was during the self-defense testing that we had an incident. Despite the two very restrictive sports bras, One of Lula's girls still managed to make a break for freedom. Ram and Junior were sparing in the next ring, and Ram, well, he happened to look over at the exact wrong time. Ram hit Junior with full strength, instead of a pulled punch. The poor guy could barely apologize to his sparring partner; he kept mumbling; "So big," Over and over again.

Lula was golden with her gun in the firing range. So I had to ask…"How come in here you can cluster a heart over the frikkin paper man's heart…but in the streets you can't hit the broad side of a barn?"

"Shit…it's easy to aim and shit in here. It's calm, quiet. That paper mutherfucker sure as hell ain't gonna shoot back." Lula said jokingly. "Why is it that you can't shoot even the paper man worth shit, but you took out that one punk bitch when it really counted?"

"No clue…but he was going to kill a real person. So it was like time stopped and I just could do it." I said honestly.

Bobby approached us. "You each have flip sides of the same problem. Lula, you need to learn to find that focus you have in practice, even in the field. And Sweetheart, you need to be able to find that zone, without being in a life or death situation. We will be working on building you both to a much improved level of fitness. Stephanie, while we work on Lula's overall fitness level, we will begin with strength training for you. I'll see you two back here tomorrow morning at the same time. Lula, go get cleaned up and report back here at eleven. We'll be in a meeting until then." He said dismissing her.

He turned to me. "Shower and meet us on five. Its ten after eight now. That gives you fifty minutes…don't be late."

Of course I didn't listen…but I was only five minutes late. However when I walked into Ranger's office I could see that those five minutes were going to cost me. "You are late." He said, in full leader mode. The rest of the guys were already in the small room. I'd never noticed it before. There were only the external windows in the room, so from the hall one just assumed it was like the CEO bathroom, exclusively for Ranger's use. But nope it was actually a small fully loaded conference room for eight to ten. It would be perfect of clandestine meetings with government officials when the case was 'need to know' or 'top secret' or even 'your eyes only'. I was so busy thinking about the secret military meetings that room was perfect for that I missed the fact that Ranger had locked his office door.

"Sorry, I had to cleanup. I was sweating like a pig this morning." I said breezily.

"You. Are. Five. Minutes. Late." He growled menacingly. "You will take off all of your clothes, and go present your ass to Tank. You will receive five smacks, thanking him after every one. Then you will crawl under the table and so each of us how sorry you are that you were late. Then you will come back out here, get dressed and return to the room for us to begin the meeting promptly at ten am."

^^I wonder what his excuse would have been if I'd been on time?^^ I wondered, as I quickly doffed my clothes. I walked into the room head held high and presented my ass to Tank by laying across his massive thighs. "One. Thank you Tank, may I have another." I counted seductively. If I'd been wearing panties, they would be ruined. If his pants had been pulled up they would have been messed up as well. By the fifth wack, I was screaming and cumming. But I managed to finish my gratitude. Then I crawled beneath the table and let my mouth play with his shaft and balls until he was pouring pre-cum. I sucked hard at the head of his cock and swallowed the rich, viscous fluid of his orgasm before moving onto Bobby seated at Tank's left. It took me almost the full fifty five minutes to get all seven of my men to erupt into my mouth. I swallowed them all, not wasting a single drop. It is truly interesting, how they all taste very much alike and yet so different.

Much like in my fantasy, I was too full to even think about the fact that I'd yet to have breakfast. I'd also cum several times. So maybe that had something to do with it. As soon as I was dressed and we began the meeting proper…I was very glad that we'd taken the time to enjoy ourselves first.

* * *

><p><strong>Ranger PoV<strong>

"Before we discuss the envelope, I'd like to ask if anyone has anything to bring to the table about the move?" I asked as I helped a slightly wobbly Stephanie into her seat at my right.

"I was thinking about it this morning. We're gonna need super Ella sheets for the big bed. I mean we've got to figure out how to get Ranger's super sheets big enough. I love those sheets." My Babe said with a dreamy smile.

"We'll also have to look into getting some custom made sheets of lesser quality for use with oils and such." Bobby said before he launched into a quick rundown of the things we'd gotten from Carol. "Carol has agreed, that since Stephanie is the closest thing she has to family, that as long as we order through her we can look through her catalogues, and get a ten percent discount." He finished.

I nodded in appreciation of his work. I would not have been able to be in that store with Our Girl, and not gotten kicked out for fucking her on the display counter. "Ok. Babe, start to research custom made linens. Then get with Ella, for thread counts for the premium sheets, but don't go below three hundred thread count, even on the low end ones. They will be too easily damaged otherwise." There is no need to let the whole world know that I have sensitive skin and chafe on too low a thread count…that is in no way bad ass at all.

"Can I ask something?" Hal piped up. When I gave him the floor he continued. "I noticed an extra drain, all but itself in the water closet. What the heck was that thing there for? I've been racking my brain, and nothing makes sense."

"Yeah, I want to know too." Stephanie piped up.

I looked around the room and was met with a stone wall of faces. I know they knew…at least I know Lester and Bobby both knew. I'm willing to bet money on the other three did as well. But not one of them were going to be the ones to answer. "Its used for certain types of sex play." I said trying to ease into it.

"Well DUH! Everything on the top floor seemed to be designed for sex. But what the frilly heck could you use the drain in the floor for?" Stephanie said, clearly she was frustrated.

"Watersports." I said succinctly.

"But it was a drain not a spigot?" Hal said, still clearly confused.

"Watersports refers to sex play centered around the evacuation of the bladder, either on someone or while inside someone or while someone is inside you." Bobby said clinically.

Hal and Stephanie exchanged looks that were damn near comical. "EEEEWWWWWW!" they said together.

"None of you are into that?" She asked us. We all shook our heads, except Lester.

"I've done it before. But it's not something I need nor even want to do again." He said with his usual smirk. "But, it's also not something I'm completely against doing if you ever decide you wanted to try it."

"Oh, please….name one thing you wouldn't do if I really wanted to try it?" Stephanie teased him.

Without missing a beat every one of us who knew what the drain was for answered at the same time, and with the exact same limits. "Scat or blood play." We said as one. After we explained to them what we were referring to; we watched their expressions closely. From the shivers of disgust that shook Hal and Our Girl, I don't think that would be a problem for them.

"I have received the e-mail from the Carpenter's son Richard." I had a very hard time not smiling as I remembered how close Babe's sanctimonious sister came to being her half-sister. "And placed the order for the mattress. It will be ready for delivery in three weeks. Guilermo is cognizant of our relationship and since Lester and I would both prefer to explain thing to our respective parents ourselves….he has demanded payment for keeping quiet. I promised to introduce him to Connie. Babe, I need your help in this one. I need you to get Connie to agree to a spa day with you and Lula; I'll even pay as long as she walks out with no mustache."

Stephanie, of course, fell out laughing but she agreed. "Good that's settled…of course since we have been working with Abegaile for the design; she has made her own demand. " I grimaced.

"How bad can it be?" Lester asked concerned.

"She wants her own personal Rangeman." I said disgustedly. "She is willing to let us do the initial vetting. She however wants at least four to choose from. She has agreed to my rules. No one more than two years older than her, and none of the assassin trained men." I had to wait until Stephanie stopped laughing again to continue. "I'd like names on my desk by close of business tomorrow. I only have three days or she goes to Mami." Now I had to wait until everyone finished laughing their collective asses off.

"Moving on. Now that housekeeping has been handled. We have to discuss the envelope." I took the contents out and, after looking through them, handed the pictures to Stephanie on my right.

* * *

><p><strong>Stephanie PoV<strong>

The contents of the envelope were disturbing. It contained the usual plethora of photographs. But these were clearly just a sampling. They stretched back years. There was even an old Polaroid of me in my Tasty Pastry uniform. There was a running outline of me in different Halloween costumes over the years. "Its like a picture outline of my life from sixteen to present. There are even pictures from when I'd come home during the summers and Christmases. My God I've had a stalker all this time." I groaned. I started to notice that in any picture I was with a male other than my father in, the crazy had painstakingly cut out the man holding me. This was starkly apparent in the candid shots from my huge 'burg wedding to the Dick. Finally I got to the back. There was a copy of a letter there. The guys must have taken the original for a forensic work up.

* * *

><p>My Dearest Stephanie,<p>

As you can see I've been watching you for a very long time. All these years, I've been patiently waiting for us to be available at the same time. That time has finally come. Now that it is here, allow me to tell you of all I have done to protect you over the years. I've been watching you forever, and when you married that lawyer, I had to save you from him. I mean what kind of grown man calls himself Dickie anyway. Still you have no idea how hard it was to convince an attorney to have an affair in his own home. But I knew you would have to see it for yourself. Joyce wasn't the only one. But she was the one that would give you the best reason to leave.

I lost track of you for a few years. By the time I was almost ready to give up, you reappeared in the 'burg, and I was even more convinced that we were always meant to be. But then you hooked up with that cop. He was never good enough for you. If only you could have heard the things he said about you when he lead you astray. He was not worthy. But you finally saw that on your own.

Now I'm sure that you are being wooed by the 'man in black'. But you are meant to be mine. I have been patient for years. I'm done waiting for you. Now you will be mine.

Soon you will have to make a choice. You have chosen not to be a cupcake. But you should know that you do not have to be a Babe either. I would hope that you make the right choice this time Stephanie. Your niece Mary Alice reminds me so much of you at her age…perhaps if you make the wrong decision I will teach her to play something a lot bigger than Choo-Choo.

Yours Always,

DONE WAITING


	13. Threatening Children is STUPID

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 13<strong>

**Stalker PoV**

^^It's all over the frickin 'burg today. I've heard about it from at least ten different sources, including my grandmother and aunt. Apparently the rumors have been validated by sexy Stephanie herself. She is sleeping with seven men…two of them black. I can feel the anger welling up in me. I cannot afford to go running off halfcocked. I have appearances to maintain if I don't want them figuring out who I am, before I am ready to take my girl from them.^^

^^Besides, Stephanie is probably just with them, because she doesn't think she can find a nice Italian 'burg boy any more. Everyone's been telling her for years that Joe Morelli is her last chance at a good marriage. Last chance at 'burg happiness. It's not that big a deal as I understand it she never did the whole college party girl thing, so she just sowing her oats now. I can be the bigger man about this. She probably didn't bother at college cause she was still a bit gun shy after the Tasty Pastry incident.^^

^^There are Rangeman SUVs all over the 'burg. I guess she got my first letter. It was a bold move sending it to Rangeman-but after I heard that she was giving her grandmother her apartment I knew I couldn't hand deliver it. Leaving this as my only option. Not much scares me but Edna Mazur scares me more than Rangemen, the cops and my own grandmother combined. And maybe it wasn't my best idea to say that bit about her niece…but the little girl is so very Stephanie. She looks so much like her aunt did at that age, right down to the big innocent blue eyes, and pouty pink lips. Only MY GIRL wanted to be Wonder Woman, not a horse. They should really get that little girl some counseling.^^

^^Plus I'm sick and tired of waiting. For years, now, I've had to listen to Joe and his bullshit. 'Cupcake belongs to me...blah, blah, blah. She knows it. Just a matter of time; blah, blah, blah.' He wasn't so cocky for a while there a few months back. He seemed all shook up. Apparently the Bounty Hunter was making a real move on 'Babe'. What the hell can't these guys just call her by her name? She has a really nice one. Stephanie is a much better name than Joyce, or Terri or Helen. When she is mine, I won't make her stop working if she wants to work. Hell she can take care of making the money, and I'll clean the house if she wants.^^

* * *

><p><strong>Stephanie PoV<strong>

By four o clock that afternoon we had managed to assemble all the pertinent parties, and a few who just can't seem to keep their nose out of my business, in the Chief's conference room at TPD. "Why the hell is that _belino_ here, Val?" I asked my sister when everyone was settled. My parents where here, Grandma had stayed with the girls; Cal and Hal were with them providing protection, and more than likely amusement. The rest of the JLS; with the exception of Hector; were either seated near me, or stationed along the walls of the Chief's rather drab conference room. Eddie Gazarra was present, despite it being his day off, as a favor to Uncle Mickey. He was running back to back meetings today and Eddie would provide a PD presence until he could get here. Val and Albert were both, of course, present given the threat present to Mary Alice.

I wish that she would have just let Rangeman handle this, but given what had happened last night, I'm not really all that shocked that she demanded we handle everything through TPD. I'd gone one further and involved Uncle Mickey. He'd been kind enough to let us have the meeting on the 'neutral territory of his smaller conference room.

"Joe," Val said stressing his name; "Is a valued family friend. I asked him to be here."

"Mickey Hawser is a valued family friend," Daddy said with a hard look at Valerie. "Joe is a Morelli who somehow managed to get my daughter to date his sorry ass." For a minute he looked like he was going to say more, but giving Albert a glance he seemed to cut himself off.

"Mr. Plum, I'm just here as a representative of the Trenton Police Department." Joe said conciliatorily.

"Funny cause I could have sworn that the chief asked me to sit in on this meeting for him." Eddie said from his chair next to my mother.

"Oh let the _cacasontenze_ stay." Lester joked caustically. "If it makes Valerie allow us to ensure the safety of her daughters; Morelli can sit here, and we'll just ignore the _cabrón_." My parents, Albert, Ranger, Tank, Bobby, Eddie and I all exchanged looks; nodding as one we began to discuss the situation.

I quickly outlined the contents of the envelop. "Given the fact that the pictures go back almost twenty years, we are definitely dealing with someone our age or older. Some body from the 'burg."

"Probably some poor sap you dated back in high school." Joe said snidely.

"Actually, Detective Morelli," My father's voice was ice cold and his face as blank as any Rangeman ever. "My Youngest daughter didn't date in high school. Given your despicable actions after that 'incident' at the Tasty Pastry she no longer felt comfortable around the young men she grew up with. Boys who had read and may have believed the filth you put up on the walls of the 'burg."

"Just Ignore Him, Frank." My mother said quietly placing a calming hand on Daddy's arm.

"I'm still not sure what the big deal is." Valerie said prissily.

"The big deal is that we received a threat of a sexual nature against one of your daughters from someone who has clearly been stalking your sister for the better part of her life." Tank said incredulously.

"Oh please, the guy is obviously a harmless crazy. He's been taking pictures for sixteen years. I mean who in their right mind would even want to stalk Heffy Stephie." Valerie said airily.

^^I really hate that stupid nickname. Supposedly she gave it to me because I was a chubby baby…but really I think it was just the fact that she didn't want to have to share mom…Jealous Bitch.^^ "Yeah Well despite your feelings on my perceived stalk-ability, St. Valerie; my stalkers have a history of making good on their threats. I will not allow MA to be hurt because you feel that I am not stalk worthy." I took a deep breath before continuing. "So, probably, the place we have to worry about the girls the least is the school."

"Actually, until we know the exact nature and identity of the threat, we will consider all points of equal need for protection. Ideally it would be best to pull the girls from school and move the family into a safe house. However given current tensions and an expressed desire to ensure that the girls not know of any threat; we will simply be keeping eyes on the girls twenty four-seven until the threat has been neutralized." Ranger said authoritatively.

"Why can't we let up on school hours?" I asked confused.

"We can decrease out need for a physical presence escorting the girls around the school by doing full screenings on the personnel. But the threat could well be a former teacher who was recently widowed, or former class mate or play mate who now teaches at the school but is recently divorced or coming out of a long term relationship." Bobby reasoned. "We will need to limit the people allowed to take the girls off campus."

"Well, it cannot be that many people. Valerie and Albert, of course, myself and Frank, Perhaps Albert's parents, and Stephanie." Mom said reasonably. "Mother doesn't drive and I mean it's not like Valerie had a job outside the house. She is almost always available to pick the girls up if they are sick, or if there is an emergency. So there is no need for an expansive list."

"Actually, Mom, Joe and Angelina and Mrs. Morelli are all emergency contacts too. You know Just in case." Val said brightly. "And I would never put Stephanie on there. If anything, she would be the emergency wouldn't she?" Val managed to get in another dig.

"Too many Morellis on that list for my peace of mind." Daddy grumbled. "Why the hell would you put that _coglione _on the list instead of your own sister?" Daddy asked.

"Joe is a respected member of our community, Daddy." Val said giving Joe a proud look. "Stephanie is obviously a _scopate facile _who associates with _puttanas_ and thugs…the very dregs of society…I don't want my girls exposed to those kinds of people." Suffice it to say that the look she threw my way was in no way shape or form pride filled.

Now for most of the meeting her husband has been sitting next to her quietly…like his usual snuggle-umpkins self. And what happened, then? Well, in Trenton they say - that Albert Kloughn's small spine grew three sizes that day. And then - the true meaning of backbone came through, and my brother in law found the strength of *ten* Alberts, plus two!

"Oh please. You have them around you and your 'friend' Joe. From where I'm sitting you two are the fucking dregs of society. The ice queen and the dirty cop. Yeah Morelli I called you a dirty cop. I know how many of my clients complain about the way you make your collars. I've not said anything 'cause it would hurt Stephanie. But a lot of Lula's old friends come to me now and I know that you bust them for solicitation only after you've sampled their wares a few times. And you Valerie. I've sat here and listened to you attempt to vilify your sister, who you know doesn't deserve it. Stephanie has come here today to help us protect our girls. And I for one am damn sure gonna take her help. I don't really give a shit about you and the Morelli spawn you are carrying right now, but MA, Angie and Lisa are my girls, and they will receive every bit of protection Ranger and his men think they need."

Valerie started to say something, but Albert cut her clean off. "And before you even fix your mouth to say some bullshit about Mary Alice and Angie not being mine, let me remind you who pays for every bite of food they eat, and every piece of clothes they wear. I love those girls every bit as much as I love Lisa and if you think for a hot second I will let you put them in harm's way relying on that skevy prick next to you; you are crazier than any stalker Stephanie has ever picked up."

Albert leveled a look at Joe that I never thought he was capable of. "Just get the hell out of here, Morelli." He said with a vicious snarl. "Get the hell out of this room before I decide to check and see if the Trenton Police Department ever bothered to remove those pesky morality clauses from their contracts. I may not me that great a litigator, but I was top of my class in contract law, and I'm damn sure that I can find a few clauses in yours that prohibit you from sleeping with other men's wives while on the clock. And I'm pretty sure that fucking a mafia _principessa_ would be rigidly against the TPD code of conduct."

Joe looked around the room for support and finding none forthcoming, even from Valerie, he huffed his way out of the room. Albert had one last thing to say. He looked at me. "Please do not listen to your sister. She is brutally jealous of you. You are very much stalkable. Had you not already been Ranger's when we met…and you not been ridiculously out of my league, I might have asked you out. I thought that even if Val didn't look much like you, you two were sisters, so she should have at least some of your warmth and kindness and giving nature. But she fooled me. She is the exact opposite of you. She is cold and a user. She wanted a meal ticket, and because I really liked your family, I let her lead me round by the dick." With a sad sigh he turned to Ranger. "What do we need to do to protect my girls?"

"We are going to have eyes on the girls at all times. We need to have the pickup list revised. Helen's list works best, however you can add Edna, Stephanie and the Rangeman of your choosing. Should we be forced to lock the girls down, or move them in a hurry; that should give us enough possible signatures to get the girls out of the school quickly. Since we don't know who this guy is, but he knows all there is to know about the Plums, we can assume that he knows that Stephanie will allow no harm to come to ANY of her nieces, we have to treat Angie and Lisa as if they are under a similar threat as well." Ranger and my dad were looking at Albert a new measure of actual respect. I think we all were.

"We," Albert stressed the word, giving his wife a hard look, "will make the changes at the school in the morning when we take MA and Angie. Lisa stays home until Val picks the girls up from school, and then all the girls spend the afternoon with their Grandma at the Plums all afternoon. Then I pick them up on the way home from the office, unless we are having dinner there…then Val usually just meets us there."

"That will work out fine. We've already made plans to have eyes on Helen and Edna as well." Tank assured him.

"Gonna go broke paying hazard pay to the boys who have to guard Edna." Daddy chortled. "Thank God she's moving into Stephanie's soon, Crazy old Bat."

"Actually, Daddy," I said chidingly. "We can move her this weekend. Hector's over there installing a system to keep her safe. He promised it would be very user friendly." ^^He actually called it Bombshell Proof…but I took it to mean the same thing.^^

Daddy started to hum something that sounded suspiciously like 'Ding Dong the Witch is Dead' so Mom hit him across the shoulder with the back of her hand. It was a creepily flirtatious gesture. "Oh Hush," she hissed at him. Turning to me she continued. "Stephanie, you have 'eyes' on all of us. But are you going to listen to your gentlemen?"

Said gentlemen, at least the four present, all exchanged smiles, while Eddie and Daddy just laughed. Even poor morose Albert cracked a smile. "Hey! I listen." I whined at their disbelief.

"Babe." Ranger said…in this case it meant. 'Babe, you NEVER listen when we are trying to protect you.'

"Besides," I rushed on. "I'll be onsite either at the fully secure Rangeman building, or at the fully secure new house. I'm overseeing the creation of my department at Rangeman; in fact I have interviews for a secretary tomorrow. Plus we are hoping to move into the new house within the next week." Which was true. By the end of the week, all but the custom furniture would be moved in and ready for our stuff. "I'm always dressed when I leave the building and am usually in the company of at least one of the JLS or my new team." I said reassuringly.

"You keep saying 'JLS', you mentioned it last night too. What the heck is the JLS?" Eddie asked. Nosy bugger.

I could feel my face heat up. I sat there staring at my nails and refusing to answer when I was saved by the arrival of Uncle Mickey. Unfortunately he was accompanied by Ram, who was carrying another of those damn brown Envelopes.

**Ranger PoV**

^^I don't like this. This guy is bold as brass having things sent to her at Rangeman, it means that he knows she's no longer living in her apartment. Operational safety is damn near impossible in the damn 'burg. Everybody knows everybody else's business.^^ I nodded to Ram, and he passed the envelope to Stephanie before beginning his report.

"No prints on this one either. The reports are all back yet from all the pictures he sent this last time. Apparently he wore gloves because the best we could find was a smudged thumb print. It was large enough for us to tell you it belongs to a male…but it was definitely too smudged for an ID. Lula says this means that his prints are in the system and he knows it. He knows enough about printing and criminology to cover his ass." Ram reported diligently. "Sir, the contents this time around are comprised of just one photo, and a letter. Like last time it was printed on a rather common inkjet type printer. No real help there. But the photo is recent and lends credence to his threats."

I looked over as Babe pulled out the photo. It was less than a month old given the hairstyle and clothing. It was taken in the park near her parents' home. She appeared to be playing with all three of her nieces.

"I remember that…it was last month. Mom couldn't get a hold of Saint Valerie and Grandma needed to be picked up from the senior center. I didn't feel like dealing with the dirty old men, so I stayed with the girls. We got bored so we went to the park." My Babe gave her sister a very acerbic grin. "Guess you were busy with your good buddy Joe. You know what Val…all meanness and mocking aside. Just a little sister being worried about her big sis. Please go and have yourself checked. I mean I never let Joe go without a condom, thank God. But if he is getting freebies from the Stark Street girls, and playing 'hide the salami' with Barnyard Barnhart…he's been dipping in the same pool as Vinnie for Christ's sake." She said. We could all hear the concern in her voice.

The look on Albert's face was almost tragically comical. "Yuck. I have got to get tested." He groaned.

"Oh my God! You just cannot stand the fact that he wants me." Val said with a real superior air.

"Look I've had just about enough of your lip, young lady." Helen Plum exploded. For the first time in memory I could see something of my Babe in Helen Plum. "We are here about a REAL threat to your daughter…my grandbaby, and all you have done is been derisive and cynical. You have done nothing but kvetch at your sister and try to justify your inability to be faithful to a good man. And before you even think to try to draw a parallel between your actions and your sister's current relationship or even more, something that happened before you were even born…stop and take a good look around you. Look at Stephanie's men. Look at your father, and then look at Albert. There is no correlation between explorations taken with the full consent, knowledge and yes presence of your father, and in Stephanie's case, all of her lovers; and you choosing to betray your marriage vows, with a man you KNEW was banging you on one hand and trying to get your SISTER to marry him on the other."

Valerie may have tried to mount a defense, but Helen steamrolled right on. "Now your sister just raised a valid concern for your health and wellbeing. And you try to say she is jealous. Of what exactly? Your, oh so committed, relationship with a man who while a great provider, excellent father and good son-in-law, is a bit tubby and slightly balding. She has seven of the hottest men I have seen, since your Father's Ranger Unit came back from the war, at her every beck and call. Or is she supposedly jealous of you being one of the many on the side pieces of _hüvely_ of a domineering, controlling ass who may have been the hottest man in Trenton-before Rangeman opened its doors. Well newsflash Valerie dear, the least attractive of Stephanie's men still looks better than that _seggfej_, JOE MORELLI, and they are all faithful to her and her alone. Now you will apologize to your sister. You will apologize to your husband and you will damn sure go and get yourself tested before you accidentally pass something on to one of the girls."

Valerie looked like she swallowed a very bitter pill. But she finally managed to grate out, "Sorry Stephanie. I will listen to your concerns and have a STD screening done at my next prenatal appointment. Albert, I'm sorry for stepping outside our marriage without your express consent, knowledge and even presence." She lowered her voice to mutter, "That seems to be all that's necessary to make it all ok."

Helen gave her a sharp looking, letting her know that in the manner of Mothers across the world; she had heard the things Valerie said under her breath, and they would deal with them later. "Now, Ranger…I cannot do it. What did your mother name you? I cannot call you Ranger." She asked almost begging me to understand.

And I did understand. My mother to this day refuses to call Tank anything other than Pierre. "My mother calls me Carlos, ma'am." I'd really better talk to my mother soon.

"Thank you. Carlos. Please have your man finish his report." Helen said smoothly giving me a motherly smile. ^^You know Helen is alright when she's not trying to pressure my Babe to marry Joe '_Che faccia di stronzo' _Morelli.^^

"What can you tell us about the development?" I asked.

"Not much, Sir." Ram elucidated. "The older ones are far too old. The recent ones we've traced back to Wal-Mart, but they were uploaded online and picked up with cash. The online account is registered to Joe Blow, and the un-address is equally as creative. Unless he uses it again, it's a dead end. The IP addies were all over the place. Bookstores and internet cafes—always cash and never long. Other than that, anywhere he could use a free computer without ID." Ram finished.

I looked at Stephanie and asked, "What do you remember about who was at the park that day?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Not much it was a nice early fall day. Not too hot, not yet cold. Most of the 'burg was out that day. Angelina was there, with her crew, Shirley was there. Heck, Eddie, you stopped by and brought your boys ice cream. Remember I made you go and get some for me and the girls."

"That's right you still owe me ten bucks," He teased. He turned to me. "She's right though. All the 'burg mommies were there. I wasn't even the only dad to swing through. Remember Anthony showed up with Mooch and Leo. They were there just long enough to give the kids shoulder races."

"That's right. Anthony got all mad cause Mooch beat him. He chased Mooch all around the park. Damned fool even tripped over Lisa's stroller." She laughed. I could see Tank, Bobby, and Lester exchanging looks and knew they were all sharing the same thought as me. ^^She is too SEXY for word when she laughs; and this meeting is taking too LONG! God I wonder how much longer this meeting is going to take.^^

"What does the letter say, Beautiful?" Lester asked, rushing us along.

"Oh the usual. 'I will understand soon that he and I are meant to be. That I don't have to settle for being a whore for you guys…that Ranger doesn't value me like he should if he is passing me around to all his friends. That the time is coming for me to have to choose." She paused for a minute. "He's big on this whole choice thing. Like I have to choose; so it's my fault if he has to do something bad. The he goes on to say that I'd better make the right choice or else. That's a real abuser mentality. It's all the victims' fault, the baddie had to punish them." She took a deep calming breath as she balled the copy of the letter into her fist. "He says if I don't make the 'right' choice…MA will get ridden like the horse she wishes to be."

Every male in this room exchanged looks, we heard Helen and Valerie gasp at the crude, and horrific image. "I don't," Stephanie began. She cleared her throat again and continued. "I don't think I'm gonna be able to handle this stalker with a smile and a laugh guys. I'm going to kill him. I am going to kill him in ways, I don't usually consider myself to be capable of. Uncle Mickey, Eddie, you should cover your ears before I say anything else."

"No need. Stephanie, you and those girls are family." Both cops agreed.

"If he wants to threaten me, fine…I'm used to it. Threaten my men, well hell they can take care of themselves. I'd be more worried for the stalker. Threaten my sister…not sure I even care anymore. Threaten my mother or grandmother, and I'm gonna make sure you get sent away for a long time." The look on our girl's face is viciously beautiful, and as wrongly arousing as hell. But he is threatening my niece…the one I like the most. The one person I can look at and say 'now there is a piece of me in this world' she may not be mine by birth, but she is so much like me. and this _vecchio sporcaccione _thinks I'm gonna let anything happen to her or her sisters, he's not just crazy, he's fucking stupid. He has to die. I refuse to let him live and he come back later. No this one…I will cut of his _cazzone_ and shove it down his throat myself before I let him touch one hair on ANY of their heads."

Bobby went over and pulled her into a hug. "He will have to get through every person in this room, plus all the men at Rangeman plus Lula and Ella, before he could touch them. That will never happen, Sweetheart." He said comfortingly. It's ironic, Stephanie was being comforted by her men, Chief Hawser and Frank were comforting Helen, and Eddie was talking quietly to a very worried Albert. Valerie sat all alone.

* * *

><p><strong>Stephanie PoV<strong>

The next few days, everyone was on high alert. When Lula found out about the threats against Mary Alice, the rhino-mode was of epic proportions. "I'll be damned if any sick son of a bitch is gonna hurt any little girl on my watch!" we were kept so busy between keeping a twenty four eye on the girls, packing for the move, and getting the right people in place at Haywood…speaking of, we found new Ella. Ok so her name is Candelaria…though we just call her Larie. She is Ella's god sister. She was widowed two years ago and had an empty nest. So she is in heaven having all these 'good strapping boys' to take care of.

I found a perfect secretary. He actually speaks four languages, including Spanish, Italian and French. He's here on a four year student visa, but has to work as well. Adrien is just great. He can type and he is very gifted with the spreadsheets, which is great because while Ram is every bit as good as Adrien, Ram hates sitting still long enough to create one. Adrien is also very gay, and already has the biggest crush on Ranger.

He and Lula have been shopping and bonding like crazy. He fits out little department perfectly. He's got no experience with guns, but carries a bobbie club, and several types of nerve and pepper sprays. Ram and Manny have both been really great about teaching him how to shoot. Me and Lula also to be honest. Even with everything, they have been making sure that Lula and I are working on all our training as well. I was back up to several dozen doughnuts a day, because with the JLS included in the Mary Alice rotation, and me trying go through the pictures and think of who was in the area or present at the event, there has been NO time for nookie.

We were being very careful maintaining eyes on the girls, so careful that the girls and Albert had been 'drafted' to help me move my stuff into my room. Since there was no moving of anything other than personal items and clothes, even for all eight of us it wasn't a huge amount of stuff. I think transporting all of Ranger's guns took longer than his clothes. In fact the only thing that took longer than the boy's toys; ie guns, knives, brass knuckles, I think I even saw a couple of sets of nun-chucks; were my shoes. Though I still say that Lester was greatly exaggerating that. Or at least I thought so until we were un packing and I realized that the shoe fairy, aka ELLA, had slipped an extra box or two of high quality, shoe fetish, heels and sandals and even some boots among the boxes of my Macy finds. Looking at some of those shoes, and I was completely ready for Ram and Manny to take the girls and Albert home, and for Woody and Junior to escort my parents home. Thank goodness that Grandma left earlier with Vince to attend a viewing. Probably I'm a bad person, but within the hour I managed to not only get all non-essential personnel cleared from the premises, but I'd also showered, shaved, exfoliated, lotioned and found the perfect pair of black Jimmy Choo Fuck Me Pumps. I had to improvise a cover up, since I was too desperate to even bother trying to find the right lingerie for this seduction. I found a black button down shirt that I'd found on sale months ago. It was cut nice and slim, and ended right below my butt; it showed my ass and cleavage to the best possible advantage. I slipped into the heels, and made my way to the third floor social area, and the guys, with their superb ESP were already gathered there. Ranger was wearing a pair of soft cotton lounge pants, black of course, that were riding low and bearing the tops of his hips. Lester was lounging on one of the couches, wearing a pair of board shorts, while bobby leaned against the same sofa wearing only a pair of basketball shorts. Tank was splayed out in an oversized armchair, wearing some Atlanta Hawks shorts, while Cal sat opposite him in LA Laker's shorts. Hal's shorts seemed to proclaim him to be a Hoosier's fan. Hector's lounging pants were a beautifully silky pair of gunmetal gray pajama bottoms.

Looking at those pants I angled my entrance around the back of the largest sofa and slid my hand over Hector's strong, silk covered leg. I walked into the center of the area, and stood for a moment, letting my eye play over the forms and figures of my sexy men. I could only smile as I felt their eyes do the same. The air seemed to grow heavy and heated, and I could feel that heat begin to pool in my center.

**Tank PoV**

"Little Girl, you have to be the most beautiful woman it has ever been my pleasure to set eyes on." I murmured gently. God her legs in those killer heels looked spectacular. Strong, supple, and long as hell. The tails of her shirt seemed to be caressing rather than just laying against the tops of her thighs, as if they couldn't resist touching her any more than we could. Her skin was already glowing and I could already smell her need wafting through the air.

Ranger was standing, so he made it to her first, he pulled her against him and started to devour her mouth. I knew that Ranger was a world class kisser. Good lord knows, Our Girl says it often enough. But watching him pour every ounce of desire in him into that kiss was one of the most erotic things I've ever seen. Watching the way the back of Steph's shirt rode up, displaying her sexy ass was another. I heard groans of pure want echo through the room. I'm sure one of them was mine. I stood and crossed to Ranger and Stephanie. The moment he broke their kiss to catch his breath, I swooped in and pulled her into my arms. Lowering my lips to hers, I couldn't help but notice the taste of Ranger on her lips. I deepened the kiss, not to obliterate his essence from her mouth, but simply to add my own.

I let my hands roam down to the round globes of her ass. My hands are huge, I'll admit it…but Stephanie Plum's firm, tight, plump, sexy ass fills them perfectly. Cal may love the peaches on her chest, but I truly love her buns. I grind my cock into the soft flesh of her belly, and swallow the sweet sound of her moan. I slid my tongue around the roof of her mouth tickling her palette, and finally ended the kiss by drawing her plump lower lip in between my teeth. I worried it for a minute with the tip of my tongue before releasing her into Bobby's waiting arms. While Ranger and I are gifted kissers, from what I understand Bobby has made it his life's work to be the best of the best, Sir.

Watching as he used his tongue and lips to turn our girl into a puddle of pussy juice was just too hot. I think Bobby was the only man one in the room not surprised when he slipped her shirt from her slim shoulders. Apparently we were all so busy watching that sexy ass kiss, we missed the fact that his fingers were working at the buttons. As Bobby turned her over to Lester, Ranger's patience ran out. He lost his pants, and knelt behind Steph. He used his hands to lift and separate the cheeks of her ass and twisted under her to lick her from front to back and all points in between. Even from six feet away I could hear the heady sounds of her pleasure. I could also tell that Ranger, whether by accident or by design, was stimulating Lester's cock with the back of his head. Suddenly the room seemed to shrink, and I watched in fascination as Ranger turned, shoved Lester's shorts to the floor grasped his cousin by the cock and so slowly it seemed surreal pressed him into Stephanie's hot wet center.

* * *

><p><em>belino: <em>penis  
><em>cacca: <em>shit  
><em>cacasentenze:<em> a person that pulls words from his ass (literally: someone that shits out sentences)  
><em>cabron: <em>asshole  
><em>puttanas: <em>whores  
><em>principessa<em>: princess  
><em>cazzone:<em> penis  
><em>Che cacasenno!<em> What a smart-ass! (literally, someone that defecates wisdom)  
><em>Che coglione<em>! What a testicle! (what an idiot, only coarser…in U.S, the equivalent is _What a dickhead_!)  
><em>Che faccia di stronzo! <em>What a shithead! Literally "What a face of feces"  
><em>hüvely<em>: snatch (Vulgar of Vagina)  
><em>seggfej: <em>asshole  
><em>dalla cioccie alla culo<em>. from tits to ass.  
><em>Peta: <em>fart  
><em>scopate facile:<em> easy lay  
><em>Vaffanculo!'<em> insult: "Up your ass!  
><em>vecchio sporcaccione:<em> dirty old man


	14. Seriously Do not Read in PUBLIC

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…

**BUFFALO WOMAN WINS THE PRIZE: First one to catch the Grinch Quote!**

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 14<strong>

Where were we?

Suddenly the room seemed to shrink, and I watched in fascination as Ranger turned, shoved Lester's shorts to the floor grasped his cousin by the cock and so slowly it seemed surreal pressed him into Stephanie's hot wet center.

* * *

><p><strong>Lester PoV<strong>

I am experiencing the single weirdest, sickest, sexiest thing in my life. My cousin and I have been in love with the same woman for over a year, sharing her for over a month, and he just took my cock from my shorts and guided me into her hot, tight, wet pussy. I couldn't have stopped myself from bucking forward, fully sheathing myself in her if there'd been a gun to my head. I wrenched my mouth from where my Beautiful lover had been sucking my tongue and grumbled, "Oh my Fucking GOD!" I grabbed Stephanie's hips and pulled her up, thrusting into her as she wrapped those exquisite legs around me. She was pressing the heels of those sexy shoes into my flank as I fucked her.

For a second my mind flashed back to watching her walk down the hall in those shoes, barely covered by a tailored business shirt. Her hips swaying and those magnificent legs taunt and working. With that thought in my mind and her sweet little cunny squeezing the hell out of my cock… There was no way in hell I was going to last long, but I needed to make her scream, more than I needed my next breath. Steeling myself, I began to pump her up and down on my shaft. Her arms were wrapped round my neck but her head was thrown back in pleasure. She was making delicious mewling sounds that went directly from my ears to my cock. I lowered my mouth to her neck and finding the vamp spot…that spot vamps always attack in the movies, well that spot is a hot one for Our Girl, and I clamped onto that spot with teeth and mouth and was gratified when she screamed out her pleasure. I felt the orgasm rocking through her, and let loose.

"Holy Fuck! Oh Shit! Oh fuck, oh damn…so good, so good, baby. Love you." I babbled as I came. My hands were spasming as much as the rest of my body and I have a feeling that Beautiful would find some nifty bruises on her flanks in the morning. But as I pumped my dwindling erection in and out of the tight undulating sheath of her body, and I felt the eyes of all my _hermanos d'amor_ on us making the feelings and sensations even more intense…all I can think is this is the most perfect relationship in the history of the fucking word.

**Bobby PoV**

After Ranger placed Lester into Steph's dripping cunt, I had a great idea. I raced up to the play room tore open a package, grabbed the smallest thing in it, washed it clean and raced back to the party. I was just in time to watch Lester go to pieces. I knew he wouldn't last very long. he's even refused to masturbate this week until we could get moved in. I worked my way to the couple and flashed my toy at Ranger. With a large smile he moved over and allowed me to take his spot.

I leaned forward and licked the cleanly sweaty skin of Steph's rosebud. With a lick of the small black latex plug, I pressed its tip into her flesh. Slowly pushing it into the virgin orifice. Stephanie screamed out and I could feel her buck and roll into another orgasm. It was too much for Lester and his poor deprived cock. He was back at full attention and bucking fucking her like a man possessed. I quickly stood and gave him a counter balance. Stephanie rested her head against my shoulder as Lester fucked her. He was hard and it was raw and primal and beautiful. When they came this time there were no words, the feelings were too intense for anything a plebian words. Stephanie's face was contorted into a mask of such pleasure that nothing could have made her more erotic. Lester's mouth was open on a roar that shook the rafters. When he let her legs fall from his shaking hands, I helped her to stand while Ranger took care of Lester, leading the shaking man to the sofa he'd only vacated to be with Stephanie.

Standing behind Stephanie, I gathered a hand full of her riotous curls and tilted her head back for a kiss. She however was having none of it. She turned in my arms and began to kiss me like I've never been kissed before. She poured her love and care and passion for me all into the kiss. Her hands were strong pushing my pants to the floor. She pushed me to the floor, and lowered her pussy onto my cock. "You played with my butt, Bobby. That was very naughty of you. I can still feel something back there. Its making everything feel fuller, stronger…just more. God. Bobby. Fuck!" she hissed as she rose and dropped. She was moving her hips in a sexy rocking motion even as she rose and fell. I found myself clawing at the carpet. I'd never felt anything like this. In this instant, she owned me.

"God, Sweetheart. Fuck, please keep rolling your hips like that. Fuck that's good." I begged.

Stephanie gave me a wicked smile full of power. "Do you like that Bobby? What about this?" She asked as she added muscle isolations of her vaginal walls to the rolling and pitching of her hips.

I have to be honest. I have never lost control as surely as I did in that moment. I rolled her onto her back in the plush pile of the carpet, and started to fuck her with every ounce of strength in my six foot two frame. "Oh so you want to tease? You want to bitch me out in front of our lovers? I think that you, my naughty little slut, just wanted to make me lose control. You want me to dominate you. You want us to fuck you so hard and fast that every nerve in your body is hopping and twitching with aftershocks this time tomorrow." Every sentence was punctuated with a fierce thrust forward.

"God yes!" she moaned.

I went to work. I arched my back and took one of her raspberry nipples in between my teeth. It took some coordination but I was able to bit and suck at her nipples even as I buried my entire length in her on each stroke. "Your sexy little body is going to be a mass of bruises and hickeys and rug burn tomorrow. Is that wat you want from us?"

"Yeah. Hurts so good." Stephanie whimpered.

It went straight from my ears to my cock. I looked up to find something non sensual to focus on, but looking around the room I couldn't help but focus on the five pairs of eyes trained on us, watching us so intently that I could see the minute movement of their irises as they tracked the movements of my hips. Five pairs of eyes, so filled with passion, lust, desire, love and barely restrained yearning, that it only made the sensations more fucking fulfilling. "You like it when we hurt you a bit don't you sweetheart?" I asked, my eyes locked on Ranger's.

"Yes. Oh yeah…more. Please." She begged so prettily.

"Would you like it if one of the others came over and hurt your pretty little tits for you?" I teased.

"Please. Oh God, Bobby…can they. Please?" She whined.

"Which two, Sweetheart, and who on which nipple?" I asked, filling my voice with authority.

"Cal and Hal. Cal on my right, Hal on my left." She groaned and rolled her hips under me. "But make Please may Hal play." She whispered.

"Hal. You will come to Our Girl's left side. You will tease and torment her nipple and breast; you will give her the pain she desires. If you don't think you can do it tell me now." I commanded. "Cal, you are on the left. You know what she wants."

"Sir, yes Sir." they both answered automatically.

Once dark and bright heads were settled to their duties, I could concentrate on fucking our girl right. It was all too good for Our Girl; she came time and time again. I was smart enough to pull back so that whenever she was rocked by an orgasm, only the head of my cock would be in her tight little cunt. Finally she wrapped her legs around me and forced me forward into the quaking walls, and pulled me with her into orgasm. Hal helped me to one of the overstuffed arm chairs, while Cal settled himself between her still quaking thighs.

**Stephanie PoV**

I was still coming down from the high of that DOOMSDAY orgasm, when I felt Cal's broad questing little tongue licking me clean. But it had been so long so and easy was just too calm for me. But I wasn't sure how to tell him that. I mean most women would be horrified to even think 'eat my pussy like a lion would a deer'. But wait would it be a deer…what's the African version of a deer? Oh well. "Eat me harder. More. Please, Cal, More."

Cal growled, slid his hands under me and took a two hand grip of my ass and went to work. I whimpered in happiness when I felt his teeth close around my clit. His tongue sharpened and he used it to plumb my pussy for every taste he could get of Bobby and Lester. Then he flipped me over and rammed his cock balls deep in me in one deliciously hard stroke. "To gentle for you Bomber…you need us to fuck you hard still. Oh I can do that. For the last week it's been just me and my hand. Pounding your tight little cunt feels so good; I could do this all day."

"Soo Gooood!" I could barely talk. But those words were torn from me.

"Baby, you think this feels good to you. I get to feel the wet, hot, tight clench of your sweet little pussy on my dick. I get to see the looks of desire, want in the others' eyes. I get to see Ranger's eyes telescope to black as he is watching my hips work my dick in and out of your body. I get to see Hector damned drooling watching me hammering away at you. I get to see Tank and Hal over there stroking themselves as they wait for me to cum so they can take their turn at you. I get to look down and see the rim of that little butt plug Brown shoved into your ass starting to get you ready to take us there." He groaned.

"Oh God. Please." I'm begging and I'm not sure for what, but I need more. Hector, my beautiful arch-angel Hector, came over and slid himself into my mouth.

"_Sweet Angel, Estefania, you need to be fucked tonight. No gentility, no sweet words. You need to be taken tonight. You need us to wring as many orgasms as we can from your body, we need to fill you as full of our cum, until it is pouring from you when you stand. You need to be ours so completely there is no longer Estefania, just OUR PLEASURE._" He groaned as he pressed deeper and deeper into my throat. Cal translated next to my ear, so quickly it was as though they shared the same brain.

^YES!^ I don't know if I screamed it our if the thought stayed in my head. But that was what I wanted, needed; put into words better than I would ever have been able to do. "Please. Please Hector, Please?" I grumbled as he fucked my face and throat. I came so hard, I know I would have fallen to the ground if not for the brutal grip Cal had on my hips, as he rode out the clenching and pulling of my pussy. Hector pulled back and erupted into my mouth and then pulled back further and jerked the rest of his pleasure onto my face. I heard Cal roar, and then I felt his cock expand inside me, and knew he had cum as well.

I felt more than saw him fall backwards, and I was lifted into the strong chocolate arms of Tank. Despite the mess of my face, he gave me a rough kiss and plowed into me. He was forceful, he was rough, he was harsh, he was perfect. I think I came from the moment he entered me until the moment he came and pulled away. But the ride between was the best I'd ever enjoyed with my biggest lover. He bent me into shapes I didn't even realize I could achieve, before standing me on my 4 and a half inch Jimmy Choos, bending me completely in half and entering me and slapping my ass on each and every stroke. "This how you want it, Little Girl. You want it face down, ass up." He growled. "Fuck, I love fucking you like this. Little Girl, you got the sexiest ass I've ever seen, and its only sexier from all the fingerprint bruises it's wearing."

"Please, Mr. Tank. Please." I begged. The sensation of getting fucked like this from such a HUGE cock left me feeling full to the point of bursting. And it was amazing.

"I'm gonna turn your ass red. And this time I'm gonna do it with my bare hand."

I came and came and came. And before I knew it Tank was yelling that he was cumming. He came so hard and so long, that I'm sure anyone who looked at my doo-dah when he pulled back could see a puddle of his cum where it should have been pink.

Ranger took his turn next. He laid me on the carpet gently. Making me whimper and mew a bit in something like disappointment. But I should have known better, the Wizard never disappoints. He ran his hands up my legs to my knees and the pushed them forward until they were basically next to my ears. Then he did the nastiest thing I'd ever seen. He dipped his cock into me, pulled out and used it to shovel Tank's cum into my mouth. "That's right, Babe, suck Tank's cum off my cock. We need to sign you up for yoga…you can get flexible enough to let it drain directly into your mouth. Will you do that for us?"

I'm not saying that I was too busy having another massive orgasm to answer, but the next time he pushed into my pussy, he stayed a while. He kept me in that contorted position as he used his cock like the world's best battering ram. Fucking me.

Yet he would lean forward and let his hair play across my heated face. "Beautiful, Babe, even taking us all like this, still the most beautiful woman in the world. Still love you more than I ever thought possible. And just when I thought I couldn't love you more, you push the limits. Again. None of us were capable of slow and easy tonight, Babe. It's been too long since we got our dicks wet in your pretty little pussy, but God to find out you needed like this just shows us again how right this is. Love you Babe."

He let my hips down and wrapped leaned just one leg against his shoulder. Even as he fucked me hard, he turned and pressed sweet gentle kisses against my ankle. "Cum for me, Babe, cum hard."

I EXPLODED in orgasm. My body bucked and heaved so strongly if it weren't for the awkward position of my legs, and the tight grasp my pussy had on Ranger's dick, I would have pitched him off. He groaned and bend forward a bit, pressing against my clit, internally and externally, prolonging my pleasure. When it seemed like I was reaching the pentacle of her pleasure, he started to pound me with the short, deep strokes that had him joining me.

When Ranger released me he massaged my legs a bit before he moved to my side. Hector wasted no time at all in diving between my thighs and eating me through several more orgasms. I gave him a sensual smile when he buried his cock in me. Looking over I saw that my Flash had rebounded. So I gave Lester an evil smirk. Thankfully Lester is the master at reading my devilish facial expressions. He ran out and came back an orgasm later with a condom and lube. Quick as a trick he had that condom on his hard cock and lubed himself up. He crawled up behind Hector and pressed him forward into me. For several long minutes, Hector had to settle for grinding his pelvis against my clit as Lester worked his way into his tight ass.

"Ey Dios Mio." both men groaned. From there Hector was just a bubbling cauldron of Spanish expletives and I was too caught up in the sensations and pleasure to give a thought to trying to figure out what he was saying. "Joder como si fuéramos sus putas sucias," was said multiple times. And each time he said it Lester seemed to try to fuck his way through Hector.

At this point I was experiencing one long orgasm. When Hector finally came, Lester simply grabbed him by his hips and pulled him back; bending him over the coffee table to continue fucking him, until Lester himself was ready to cum. Hal came forward, and picked me up. He carried me down the hall where he'd run a bubble bath in the bathroom he shared with Hector. He lowered me into the bath and gentled me. He pulled me to him and as he washed away all the sweat and cum, he also somehow washed away the need for franticness. This is why the others let him go last. They knew he would be unable to give me the harshness I needed earlier, and somehow they knew that I would be ready for my gentle giant now. Of course I also didn't realize that we'd been going strong for almost nine hours either.

Hal pressed himself into me gently, sweetly there in that large tub, pulling me into his lap and letting me ride him slowly. Together we built up speed making gentle waves in the water. We moved together for what felt like an eternity, and yet only an instant. When we came, we came together, and it was a tidal wave of not only bathwater, but emotion as well. He lifted me out of the tub without ever separating us and Tank and Bobby dried us off. I was drifting into slumber. That night I slept in Hal's embrace, waking several times to his slow, sweet, gentle love making. I can honestly say that I have never felt more loved by ALL my lovers, and wondered for a minute who's bed I would sleep in tomorrow night.

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><p><em>joder como si fuéramos sus putas sucias:<em> Fuck us like we are your dirty whores.


	15. Does Anyone Still Read this in Public

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…

**Please take a moment and Check out My new Community: MORELLI BASHERS ANONYMOUS **

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

**AN3: **I'm sorry for My LONG absence. I blame Janet Evanovich and the piece of DRIVEL that was Seventeen. It pissed me off so bad it fucked up my karma and made my muses (even the HP & Glee ones) take a vaca to the Bahamas. They finally came home because of Hurricane Irene. It has taken VAST amounts of FanFiction to cleanse my Mind of that Dreck. When they came home, they held me at gun point with Edna's 45 and made me completely rewrite this entire chapter. Hope you enjoy and Sorry for the wait.

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 15<br>This Killing Time**

**Stephanie PoV**

"I gotta tell you, living life as your friend really shows me the ultimate unfairness of life." Lula said to me as we wandered through the mal. I'd gotten too antsy sitting around waiting for the stalker to make an appearance, so I'd made the executive decision to play bait. So here we are at the Quakerbridge mall doing more strolling than buying.

"What do you mean by that, cause let me remind you that YOU were the one who told me to go after the guys?" I whined.

"And I stand by it. I ain't jealous 'bout any of that shit. Still want to watch you take Tank's big ass man meat…but it's just, damn girl. You eat like me and weigh something like half of what I do. You spend every night getting sexed like most women only ever dream of, and then you get up and have not only a great job to go to, but you walk 'round all glowly and shit instead of looking like you been rode hard and put away wet." She said pouting. "Now I got me the great job, but I want your freaky metabolism, dammit. And a lover that can make me look all satisfied like that wouldn't hurt either."

"What happened to Mr. Dainty man?" I asked concerned. I was so happy; I wanted that for Lula just as much as she did.

"Oh he might have made me feel all dainty and shit…but. You know I was trying that whole don't sleep with him 'til I got to know him shit this go round. Well I wish I had gotten to know that he was packing a pinky dick before I got all invested in his ass. He was the fuckin' make out king…but his tired ass KNEW he didn't have shit below the belt. He should warn a sister." She confided, angrily and justifiably so. "Men like that should come with a warning sticker attached. I mean what the hell was I supposed to do with that? And then get this, he wasn't even willing to compensate." She stressed the last word.

"You are kidding right? I mean I thought that ALL men did that now. I mean I am gonna regret ever admitting this, but even my DAD does it. Don't ask; I've repressed opening their door since I was seven, and I'm only even mentioning it because I am that shocked and appalled." I said horrified.

"I know right, and it's not like he even had anything to complain about. My kitty is as bald as an Asian wax girl can get it. That Negro should have been happy I was willing to give him a chance after I saw his pitiful little hard on." Lula groused. "I don't suppose you'd be willing to share Tank…just one night." At my death glare, she laughed. "Sorry. But shit, skinny ass white girl, it's been three months. Now don't get me wrong. I'm not as pressed as you would be after three month, but I'm real close to trying to track down your pedophile stalker just so I can shoot his ass."

What could I say to that? All I could do was laugh my ass off. I laughed so hard I had to sit down on the edge of the fountain. Finally I caught my breath and groaned. Lula is so crazy she might just do it. "Well, if you manage it…I want to roll with. I gonna shoot this shithead's dick off."

"See that's what I'm talking about. That's some shit we _need_ to do, especially after the latest bullshit he fucking pulled." Lula said pulling me to my feet. As we walked without conversation for a while I couldn't help but think about the latest 'gifts' from my newest stalker.

I might have been ok if the 'gifts' had come to me, but no that asshole had sent them to Adrien and Mary Alice. I can live with sending a really gross picture of a girl doing HIGHLY unspeakable things with a horse. He was nice enough to ask that that gift be passed along to me. But then the stalking asshole decided to be funny, he sent her a pretty stuffed horse. Okay, so it was a freaking beautiful stuffed version of Black Beauty, big enough to ride; every little girl's dream. Val didn't even hesitate to give it to her. Seems like to me if you know a crazy person is threatening your daughter and the same daughter gets her first ever piece of mail (a big expensive piece of mail), maybe you let someone check it out before you hand it to the child. But No, Saint Valerie just hands it to Mary Alice without having it checked out at all. MA had opened it and played with it for a few hours before Albert got home, and hearing about MA's gift, brought it, its packaging and Mary Alice to Haywood to be checked out.

Thankfully it was ok, but I shudder to think about what it could have been. Hector and Ram had it checked for absorbable agents, and Bobby took a blood sample to make sure that Mary Alice hadn't already absorbed anything. Albert pulled me aside and explained his plan to me. He's pushing through the paperwork to get himself established as an adoptive parent for both MA and Angie. He is hoping that if he can get that in place if he divorces Valerie for her infidelity; he will be able, at the very least, to have visitation…though he would prefer primary custody of all three girls. He might be able to forgive the infidelity, eventually, but his wife's gross disregard for the threat to Mary Alice was pushing the kindly bumbling man far beyond his threshold for tolerance.

To be honest I was right there with him. But I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised, my relationship with my own mother was only just now growing into something normal. When I was growing up I always felt like the odd girl out in our house. Now I'm in no way claiming that my mom would have behaved like Val is doing…but maybe her lack of the ability to truly relate to me, which I perceived as her preference for Valerie; has made Val feel like Mary Alice, who is more like me than anyone else, is worth less than Angie or Lisa.

Lula finally pulled me from my thoughts, "so who's on the short list for Abegaile and when are we gonna do that spa day thingy with Connie?"

"CRAP! I so completely forgot about that. We need to figure out a way to do it Friday, Guilermo is expecting her to come out with all of us Friday night. Shit!" I moaned.

Lula looked pensive for a minute. "Ok. First thing we'll do is swing by Mr. Alexander's he's a hairdresser, he'll know the good spas. Then we'll head to the food court, and you can call around and see which one can take the four of us on Friday. If Mary Lou needs the boys picked up from school we'll let one of the Merry Men do it. Leave Vinnie to me. He'll give Connie the day off, of Lucille will see some pictures he sure as hell don't want her to see. Make sure that you schedule facial hair waxing for all of us so Connie won't know a damn thing. In fact I say we just get a Merry Man to watch the boys at Mary Lou's house so that she and Lenny can come out with the crowd."

"That's a great idea. We'll just drag her butt her after the spa so we can get her some modern club clothes." I said with a huge smile. This is just what the guys need to get their minds off everything. Since this new stalker threatened Mary Alice, each and every Merry Man is as hyper alert as if she were their little girl. They are determined to protect her innocence.

"Hell, with all the exercising I've been doing, I'm down over fifteen pounds. Maybe I need to get me something new Friday too." Lula said with a laugh. "Fuck it. You ballin' out of control now, I got loot, if Mary Lou and I are getting something new, I say you and Connie do too, and we _coordinate_. We need to figure out some way to get our dress up on without interference. Who all's going?"

"Well my and the JLS, Guilermo and Connie, Abegaile and her choices, so Woody, Junior and Manny. Blinkie and Zero have MA duty, that night so Ram will probably come. Not sure about Roy and Brett. Plus, if we can work it out Lou and Lenny." I answered contemplatively.

"Maybe we should see if Ranger would let Blinkie and Zero watch MA, Angie and Lisa at Rangeman, then we can just add in Mary Lou's boys so that we don't have to take anyone off shift or make Ram miss out on the fun." Lula said thoughtfully.

Hey wait a minute. "Why just Ram?" I asked. "Does Lula have a crush?"

"Huh? No." She returned a bit too quickly. "I just meant since he's the only one who's gonna be there without an ulterior motive he would be the obvious choice to get left in the lurch."

"Yeah I believe that one. Ram is six foot four, and only barely smaller than Tank muscle wise. If he was black I'd lock the two of you together in a room. Not to say that I won't now that I know you don't care that he isn't…" I teased.

"Shit, your skinny white ass should know better than to think that I give a rat's ass about skin color. Now don't get me wrong. I loves me a big black mountain of a man, but that's just because more often than not they be the ones packing the biggest thangs. Plus, most of the time other races don't particularly care for big voluptuous black women like myself. But as long as he got enough to fill me up and he know how to work it. I could be the reading rainbow, no, the fucking UN of dating." She said throwing me a saucy smile.

"So you do like Ram?" I questioned.

"No doubt the boy is fine, so is Caeser, and Vince and Bones. Hell walking through Rangeman on any given day is a test of my self-control…and you know I don't have barely none of that shit. But I'm not pressed on trying to find out if I can coerce me a Merry Man into my bed. I want to be chased for once in my damn life. I get sick of chasing men." She groaned loudly.

"Yeah, but don't you want the right guy chasing you? If you can figure out your short list, maybe we can work on getting them to chase you." I said with a big smile.

Lula gave me a withering look. "Isn't that just a roundabout way for me to one more gain be chasing a man?"

"No this is you being sure that the man chasing you is the one you want. That's the difference between being chased and being stalked." I replied scathingly. "Now give me at least a few names so I can find out which one is actually wanting to chase you, but slightly frightened of you."

"Now see, you ain't right Steph. If he scared, how can he be wanting to chase me? That is the very definition of mutually exclusive." She ranted.

"Look I've heard a couple of the bigger guys, and yeah Ram was one of them who were questioning my ability to handle Tank's package…just like you do. And someone, and I refuse to tell you who, brought up the point that a 'full figured woman like you' might be able to handle the entirety of his…you know what. Apparently, he's never actually been all the way inside a woman. But I want to know who you want, not who you figure will do 'cause they might want you." I argued back.

"Maybe I do like Ram…but have you seen him. There is no way that fine ass blondie-bear is gonna be down with the brown like that." She said sounding way too defeated for my liking.

"Let the man have a chance. You just said you lost fifteen pounds, you've toned down the hair color, you've started to tone down the spandex a bit, and not to be funny, but you've been letting more of the REAL Lula show through, not the hoodrat former ho…but LULA. Ram would be damn lucky to even be allowed to chase you." I will always defend my friends, even from themselves.

She gave me a look of such wonder, it hurt my heart. "You really think so?" She said in a small, for her, voice. "You ain't just saying that cause you my girl and all, are you?"

"Lula, you know how I feel about sharing my feelings and talking about emotions. If I weren't really serious, would we even be having this conversation?"

She laughed so hard, she tripped over her own heel and hit the ground hard. I know I was wrong, but I started to laugh, jumping and laughing. "It wasn't me. It wasn't me. Somebody tripped and it wasn't me." I reached down to help her up and she instead pulled me down to join her. Suddenly my Spidey Sense went full blown haywire.

Unfortunately I may never know what happened. The Merry Men who were our bodyguards for the day, saw us go down and we were out of that area before we could catch out breaths. It took some explaining, but we were able to convince them to stand back down to their usual level of hyperawareness, and we went to Mr. Alexander's to put Lula's plan into place. It took less time than I'd anticipated, but we had an appointment for a spa day Friday. I grabbed my phone to text Mary Lou was surprised to feel it vibrate the second I picked it up.

**Agent Bombshell; Your Mission should you choose to accept it:  
>You have four hours to complete the Mission. In your effort to complete this mission you may gain the assistance of only Mary Lou andor Lula. You, BABE, are charged with the purchase of the following:  
>Playroom Lingerie, at least 15 to 20 'outfits' suitable for ripping off you in the heat of a moment.<br>New Distraction Outfits, at least 5 outfits, one in each of the following catagories; classy sexy, super slutty, casual sexy, super formal sexy and business sexy. (Keep all receipts for any Distraction outfits, you will be reimbursed.)  
>Roll Play Wear: At least one of each of the following categories: Dominatrix, sex kitten, submissive slut.<p>

Should you complete this mission within the established parameters, you will be given a reward of your choosing.

To accept the Mission Test the word Accept to Mission Control at 555-867-5309.**

Of course I texted accept, and when I succeed, Tank better be prepared. I've been thinking about his fantasy for over a month now, that's what I want for my reward.

I showed Lula the mission, and almost had to pick her back up off the floor. "See, that's why you ought to be glad I'm here with you…Mary Lou has your back in all things, and I know this…but for this shit…you need Lula, to remind you that this mall doesn't just have a Vickey's it also has a Frederick's." She said as she dragged my unprotesting self to the store in question.

As we were looking quickly fulfilling the first portion of my mission, I blurted out, "My dad wants me and the guys to give him a grandson."

"Well, between the seven of them, I'm sure one of them can knock you up." She said distractedly.

"But, I don't want to be a mom." I whined.

"So don't be. Be a mama." Lula retorted.

"The difference being?" I asked confused.

"The difference being that a mama is more than a soccer mom, or 'burg housewife. She can be a mama to the kids, a boo to her man-or men in your case-she's got the bomb ass career and so forth. You can have a kid and still be Stephanie. That's the problem with being from your neck of the woods. Women marry and give up all sense of self. It's what scares the bejesus out of you about getting married and having kids. But their choices ain't got shit to do with you. You need to learn to just do you." She explained.

"But I have no clue how to be take care of a baby. Have you not noticed I have the world's only antisocial hamster?" I said sadly. "What if I mess the kid up?"

"Well just take a situation, ask yourself how your mother would respond, and then do the exact opposite. In fact embrace your inner Edna. And as far as the changing and potty training and boring parts, get a damn nanny. Ask Adrien, maybe he knows one of them au pair chicks. But get a lesbian one. No need to tempt the guys, or more likely end up with a Hand That Rocks the Cradle crazy bitch." Lula advised.

"But…" I began

"But my ass. Your daddy don't ask for nothing. He don't even get to decide what the hell he eats on the daily. He asked you for one thing. Give that man a grandson." Lula huffed.

"But you can't just have a son…what if I have a girl. I'm over thirty. How many kids can I healthily have?" I asked.

"Shoot so do it the new-fangled way. I'm sure they can work some science and get you a boy. And if not you can give me the girl…I'm not ever gonna be able to have kids the normal way, and nobody in their right mind will let me adopt in this country…probably not in any others either." Lula joked sadly.

"You know, if you decide you want a baby, Lula, I'll find a way to help you pay for a surrogate. You could still have a child that's biologically yours." I whispered. I knew how much she had struggled with finding out what that bastard Ramirez had stolen from her. This more than anything had been her biggest stumbling block. It's amazing how much you can wish for a child once you cannot have one anymore. "I'm gonna give my Dad a grandson Lula. And when you are ready, we're gonna make sure you have a baby too." I say pulling her into a very rare for me hug.

"Hell to the yeah." She said giving me a big smile. "And if you have a girl first?"

"Then I guess I'll have to try again. But two in my limit. I'm so not trying to be pregnant more than twice in my life." I said serious as a heart attack.

"Well hell, go off your birth control, grab you some of those Chinese herbs for fertility and give your daddy his grandson." Lula advised. "As long as the guys don't mind."

"Oh please every since they found out that my Dad is their Ranger hero, he could ask them to help him kill Morelli and bury the body and they would do it." I joked.

"Oh please, your men want Morelli dead every bit as much as your dad. She teased. Probably she was right.

By this point we were ready to check out with twenty pairs of sexy and flimsy pairs of panties, thongs, boy shorts and g-strings, and the bras that match. We even managed to find a distraction outfit that clearly fit the definition of super slutty. After that we headed back to Macy's and found distraction outfits and shoes that fit the other four categories. Including a Maggie London Metallic floral strapless dress and gold FMPs that redefined super formal sexy if I do say so myself. Unfortunately I was running out of time and I still had one more section of the mission to accomplish. However salvation began to appear before me. There in clearance section of the shoe area was a pair of over the knee four and a half inch black leather boots. Those were going to be the basis for the Dominatrix look. I also found a pair of leopard print Steve Madden ultra-high pumps, and decided that I would avoid the usual definition of sex kitten and instead go for a more cat-woman version. For the Submissive slut, I found a pair of ultra-high Steve Madden Mary Jane inspired Pumps in blue. Then I dragged Lula back to Frederick's and we hit the corset section with a vengeance. I found a black beaded ostrich feather corset as well as a leopard print satin one and an appliquéd satin corset in indigo…they had everything else I needed to complete the looks including, those ever elusive seam up the back stockings. In no time we paid for everything got back in the Rangeman Suburban, and made it back to Haywood with just under fifteen minutes to spare.

"Hah, take that Mission Control." I said to Lester with a huge laugh. "You should know never go against a 'burg girl when shopping is on the line."

"Ok. You win this round, Beautiful…but it took your mind off everything else didn't it?" He asked sharing a laugh with me.

I shrugged. "Yeah, you know what…it kinda did." I gave him a sweet smile. "And you can let Professor Sherman know that class will be in session tonight. And let Carlos and the others know that we all have to be there. Now I'm gonna go and get ready."

**Tank PoV**

The guys met and agreed that we'd meet in the classroom an hour after dinner. When we settled at the table Ella came in with a giggle. An honest to God giggle, and said that Stephanie would meet us in the classroom an hour after dinner. She told us, laughing the entire time that Steph had already eaten and was busy getting ready. My Little Girl must be pretty excited to miss a meal with us. Damn dinner and the time afterwards moved slower than molasses in January. I took a shower and dressed in a pair of khaki slacks paired with a white shirt and tie. a pair of very low prescription reading glasses completed the look. I made it up to the classroom portion of the play room first.

Taking a moment to have a look around, I couldn't help but note the beauty of the bedstead the Carpenter had created. It looked more beautiful than any bed I'd ever seen, and yet the strength of it was almost palpable. The room was resplendent with the scent of the cedar he's used to make the drawers of the matching nightstands, the cross bar supports for the mattress as well as the one rack he'd already delivered. The mattress set will not be delivered for another two weeks, unfortunately. Because I cannot wait to tie Stephanie to that bed.

I wrote the subject 'History of the Modern World' and my name, Professor P. Sherman. I settled behind the desk, with a book, checked the drawer to make sure that the collection of paddles were still there. I looked up as I heard someone enter the play room. It took me all my control to bite back the laugh that arose at the sight of Lester. He strolled in wearing baggy jeans, a green lantern tee-shirt and a pair of wide laced Adidases. He was wearing a hat that he'd turned to the side and sunglasses. Seeing my amusement, he became somewhat defensive. "What? This is what I wore to high school."

Before I could say a word, Bobby entered dressed similarly to me. Khakis and a white button down. He wore no tie, and his shirt wasn't buttoned to the top. I always knew he was the preppy sort. No sooner had Bobby entered than Hector joined us. He was dressed in his banger gear. Green flannel shirt buttoned only at the very top, showing the white wife beater he wore underneath. The jeans so baggy they showed off the green boxers he wore. A green bandanna tied round his head. He too wore sunglasses. Cal and Hal came in next. Hal looking like a straight up nerd in fitted jeans and a polo shirt. Cal was a surprise he came in in khaki cargo shorts and a rock band concert tee. Maybe that shouldn't have surprised me at all.

The last of the JLS to enter was our avowed leader. Ranger entered the room his hair pulled back, looking almost like what Steph called Abercrombie Ranger. He was wearing khaki cargo pants that fit, but not very well, a pair of all white Adidases, and a white polo. They all took their seats and began chatting. Lester of course began to pick on Hal and Bobby, calling them nerds and teacher' pets and otherwise tormenting them. But when Stephanie Plum entered the room all talking ceased.

My eyes traveled over her from her toes to her head and back again. She was wearing a pair of black patent leather Platform Mary Janes, white knee socks, that stopped just under her knee. And then what had to be at least a foot of glowing naked Steph thigh before my eyes hit the hem of the very short red and black plaid school girl skirt. The flirty pleated part of the skirt ended and a wide black band of fabric anchored it to her hips, the black band interrupted on either side with more of the red plaid fasteners. She went with a black polo that fit her like a second skin rather than a shirt. The three buttons were a lot further down than any polo I've ever seen before and not a single one of them were done. Her nipples were hard and pushing through the thin fabric. Her beautiful wild curls had been tamed into two pigtails that rode high on her head. She looked like a wet dream walking and she flounced into the room chewing and popping gum. She dropped into the front center chair, and her skirt flew up just enough to reveal her red plaid thong.

Now I admit that I've played this scene in my head a thousand times or more and never…never has she looked as good as she does today. I cleared my throat and called role. Then I gave a tiny schpeal about the lesson. Yeah, I was talking out of my ass. Now as per my instructions to the guys, at this point I told everyone to pass forward their homework. The look on Our Girl's face was priceless. She looked both shocked and outraged and a bit verkelmpt. "Mr. Sherman," She said raising her hand. "I forgot my history binder this morning."

"Miss Plum that is the fourth time this month you have come to class unprepared." I said sternly. I've gotten rebel forces to throw down their weapons with that voice and stare, Stephanie just looks like she'd mad I ruined her panties.

"I know, and I'm sorry sir. It will never happen again." She said reassuringly.

"I'm sure it will not. Because you will be receiving a F for the day." I told her; even I couldn't hold back the smirk that crossed my face. I know she will pick up the game from here.

"But, Sir, if you do that my average will plummet and my GPA will tank." She whined. "Can't you think of some other kind of punishment…please? I promise I'll bring you my assignment tomorrow before first period."

"It wouldn't be very fair to your classmates. Just last week I had to Lester a F for the exact same reason." I chided.

"Yeah, but Lester isn't trying to get into Monmouth." She rebutted. "Besides," She said turning and giving Lester a hot look. "Lester won't mind. Will you Lester?"

"Hell yeah I mind. My Mom is gonna kill me when report cards come out." He groaned, playing along.

"Please, Lester, Please Mr. Sherman, I'll do anything." She moaned. "I'll even take the paddle." She said with a shiver.

"Yes. I believe that we can reach an accord, Miss Plum. You will take twenty-five smacks from Ole Trusty, and you will, furthermore, apologize to your classmates for taking away from the time they could be learning for me to have to administer your punishment." I said reaching into the drawer. I pulled out the paddle I'd made about seven months ago. It was bigger than the retail available ones Steph and Bobby had found at Pleasure Treasures. The hilt fit my hand better than any other I'd ever found. The paddle portion was thicker and wider, and one side was covered in padded leather. The wooden side was smooth and shellacked to make sure that no evil splinters will mar the beautiful skin I was hoping to turn red. I had spent a lot of time sanding it to a perfectly smooth surface before the first coat of poly ever touched it. Standing I rolled the desk chair around to the front of the desk.

Resuming my seat I gestured for Steph to lie across my lap. "Assume the position." I gave the boys a smile that let them know exactly what I was planning. I flipped up the scant covering provided by her skirt. "Such a beautiful little bottom, so firm and round. I whispered. "You will be unable to count them out this time as you will be apologizing to your classmates at the same time, and I believe that your pretty little mouth will be quite busy." I looked up from the thong pale skin of her thong displayed ass, "Gentlemen, you will go in alphabetical order. Miss Plum will be showcasing her fellatio skills today, since she was unable to demonstrate her knowledge of the subject."

Bobby shot up and stood in front of her his pants around his ankles and his cock already hard and throbbing. I gave her the first swat with the wood side, as she took him into her mouth. I stretched this out as long as I could. Each smack from the hard side soothed by a rub from my free hand and then a smack from the padded side before I called out 1. By the time I reached five, my pants were literally soaked with the evidence of Our Girl's arousal. The mouth-watering smell wafting up to me and Bobby. He lasted until six, before blowing his load into her slurping and sucking mouth. Cal took his place with a quickness no one would expect from a man his size.

Listening to Our Girl licking and sucking a cock, while my hand was turning her sexy bare bottom red, was one of the best experiences I've ever had, and given the last month of my life that is saying a whole lot. I had to block the sights and sounds around me, or I know that I would have blown my load in my pants. I concentrated on turning the beautiful, sexy, plump ass of Stephanie Plum to the perfect shade of red. As I reached twenty three, she looked over at me and smiled, "Mr. Sherman, I may need more punishment." She moaned.

In that moment I knew Stephanie Plum is the perfect woman as fat as sex is concerned. She is demure around others, and a kinky slut within our pack. She seemed to sense our kinks and reveled in exploring them with us. I paddled her for a total of forty smacks, listening and watching as she licked and sucked and swallowed Carlos, Hal, Hector and Lester. Finally I could take no more. I ripped that tiny thong away, bared my cock and pulled her down until her fiery red buttocks met the cooler flesh of my crotch. This is the first time I've been inside her without one or more of the other's cum for added lubricant. But she was so very wet, it felt so fucking good. I bounced her thin supple form up and down on my dick, making sure to allow the starched khakis to brush her paddle-sensitzed flesh.

"God baby. Love fucking you…never knew how damn tight your little pussy really is. Fuck! I'm not gonna last. Damn." I groaned.

"Fuck me, Mr. Sherman. So Close. Please." She begged smiling through the tears rolling down her cheeks. I cannot believe that she managed to stay in character, but damn if her words didn't go right through me.

"FUCK!" I bellowed. I came harder than I have ever cum in the entirety of my life I was pounding Our Girl up and down on my lap, flooding her clenching pussy with my cum. I reached around and yanked her shirt up over her head, bending forward to suck and bite her tits. Even sucking the one at a time into my mouth, the whole tit and suckling hard, laving the nipple with my tongue. I pulled her off my cock and, rather aggressively, forced her to her knees in front of me. Using those hot fucking pigtails as handle bars, I fucked her face, sliding my over sensitized dick in and out of her mouth prolonging the sensations of my orgasm even though my balls were empty.

Ranger damn near flew out of his seat. I watched over her back as he pressed wet kisses to her hot ass before entering her forcefully. I could feel her scream around my dick, and it was amazing. I pulled back and listened to her litany.

"Yes, God Yes. Pound my pussy. Fuck. Please. Cumming so hard. Love you so much. Fuck." She chanted over and over. I fell even more in love with this beautiful goddess in front of my. Burying my hands in her hair, I kissed her deeply, phenomenally.

I pinched and pulled and twisted her hard little nipples until I heard Ranger bellow. "Damn, Babe. That's it cum for us. Cum hard. Love the feel of your hot little ass pressed against me. Fuck babe, you looked delicious getting your sexy ass paddled."

I leaned forward. "Do you like this Miss Plum? You've made me paddle your little ass hot, and fuck your tight little cunt. Is this what you wanted?"

"YES!" She yelled her eyes bluer than ever and locked on mine. "So good. This, _you_ are exactly what I wanted."

"So do you promise to always bring your assignments to class?" I asked breathlessly.

"If you are gonna punish me like that…I may never do homework again." She laughed laying her head on my thighs.


	16. Public Friendly Building Chapter

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** **Please take a moment and Check out My new Community: MORELLI BASHERS ANONYMOUS **Sorry for the long wait, Unemployment apparently eventually causes depression, which leaves me rather lethargic and unable to focus well.** This Chapter is just for you Barb4psu  
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**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 16<br>HellaGood**

**Stephanie PoV**

After mine and Lula's shopping trip, the mission included there in, which I totally killed. I received one hell of a reward from Tank and, my oh my, what a great reward it was. Granted I couldn't exactly talk the next day, and sitting was a bit of a challenge but it was so very worth it.

Over the course of that week, we grew together as well whatever, exactly we are. Ranger finished all the security upgrades and modifications, and on Wednesday he walked us through all the changes. Currently they are on what he considers medium alert mode. So in addition to the usual keypad with biometrics and camera monitoring, we also had two Rangemen walking the perimeter and we were 'dressed' whenever we were dressed.

Sexually it was one of the best weeks of my life. I made love every evening and night, and most mornings; relishing in spending some alone time with each of them. It is amazing how different they all are; even while being so fundamentally similar. Tank, while he truly loves me, is so completely in love with my ass I no longer feel bad about it. His devotion to my backside is almost scary. Cal truly enjoys touch. Lester is almost as good with the mind fuck an aural sex as Ranger was when he was 'poaching'. Currently Ranger seems to be focused on the making sure that now that he has me, he wants me as physically and emotionally fulfilled as I can possibly be. He seems to know just when I'm feeling down during training, and he's always there with a "proud of you Babe" or some other words of encouragement. Bobby is a freaking slave driver. He'll torture me for two hours with exercise and then he'll torture me for another hour with his hands and mouth, and lovely long, thick delicious…well you know.

Hal is my cuddle bear. I mean don't get me wrong every single one of them give me hugs and cuddles whenever I want…but Hal truly seems to want and need them as much as I do. It's great. Hector, he's my ninja. He shows up out of nowhere ready for whatever. He and I are working on our language skills together. I teach him English and he teaches me Spanish. We haven't gotten beyond the body parts yet, but we're working diligently on those.

In Hector, I found the best fighting trainer, ever. The rest of my men are used to being the biggest, baddest dog in any fight. Hector and I, neither of us have that immediate advantage of an intimidating size. So Hector taught me the best ways to beat bigger, arrogant adversaries. Unfortunately in the midst of learning to live together, making sure that my nieces stay safe, searching for a stalker, and playing matchmaker for Ranger's far too picky siblings…ok so they aren't that picky, not considering that they themselves are extremely attractive and have great careers…anyway; we managed to completely underestimate exactly how messed up in the head Val actually is…but I'm jumping ahead of myself.

Anyway…I was back in fighting form by Friday. Lula came through and Connie had the day off. Mrs. Molnar agreed to pick Lou's boys up from school and keep them until Saturday afternoon, so she and Lenny could come out with us. Mary Lou was in heaven. Not only was she going to be able to have a girls' day, but she and Lenny hadn't had a night out with friends in forever and one that didn't include the kids, well that was even longer ago. So yeah she was quite happy.

My mom sort of invited herself and Grandma along. But since that gave her Rangeman eyes a shift in the office, it worked out well. However at the time I wasn't sure the positive outweighed the negative. The negative being the extreme embarrassment that came when we were discussing the client services available and those previously requested for the group. Of course the attendant was a girl I knew. Nicole Polizzi, is as nosy as any 'burg girl but she managed to keep her professionalism to our faces. "Now we have the facial masks and seaweed wrap for everyone. Facial hair removal for all, leg and bikini waxing for all. I see we are leaving the Brazilian waxing up to the individual, so which of you ladies will be choosing to have one?" Connie and Mary Lou exchanged looks that seemed to say 'I will if you will.' And both raised their hands.

"What is that?" My mother asked, she looked a little embarrassed.

The attendant gave mom a reassuring smile. "Well, Mrs. Plum, a Brazilian wax traditionally removes any and all hair from the vaginal area. Though each individual can decide to leave some hair in any desired shape."

Mom blushed as red as anything, but she spoke calmly. "Oh, I see. I would like to include that service as well."

"Go Helen." Grandma laughed.

"Mom?" I asked. I don't know why I asked, or even what I was asking really.

"Well dear. I used to be well bare down there many years ago. But I had to stop shaving when you and your sister decided that you had no need to knock before entering the bathroom. After a while it became normal not to…but since I'm here." She said. Funny how I can feel chided for something I did twenty years ago.

"Mrs. Plum, don't you let Skinny White Girl trip on you. if you want your chocha bare, that's nobody's business but you and the wax girl…well and Mr. Frank's." Lula said giving my mom a bright smile. "Stephanie should give it a try."

"I can't." I said looking down and studying my shoes.

Lula bristled. "Why the hell not? It's a free country."

"Les and Bobby want to take care of that themselves." I mumbled.

My grandmother, whom I love and would never think of pushing into traffic, heard my answer though it was too low for Lula to pick up. "Baby Granddaughter…you and those boys of yours are too much." She laughed loudly. "She can't get waxed because Lester and the Doctor want her to let them handle that themselves.' She explained to the others.

"His name is Bobby, mother." Mom reminded Grandma.

"I know his name, Helen. But I can brag if I want to. You used to call the Dick, 'the Lawyer'." Grandma grumbled.

"Of Course I did, What kind of grown man calls himself such and embarrassing name. I couldn't say that word out loud like that all willy nilly." Mom rebutted as we were being led back to the changing rooms. Caesar, our Rangeman inside, was settling down in the lobby with his cell phone out to play Angry Birds when the door closed behind us.

The day turned out to be wonderful. By the time we were all waxed, plucked, exfoliated, moisturized, wrapped and everything else we came out looking and feeling like new women. And for once in my life, I wanted to spend more time with my mother.

"I wonder if they can fit me in at the beauty parlor." She asked no one in particular. But she did give me a great idea.

I whipped out my phone. "Mr. Alexander Maison de Cheveux." He answered in the second ring.

"Mr. Alexander, its Stephanie Plum. I have my mom with me we just finished at the spa you recommended. Great place, by the way. Anyway she'd like a new look. Can you fit us in?"

"Of course. Just the two of you…I thought it was going to be a whole gaggle of you girls going." He said all too knowingly.

"Well yes. I have Mary Lou, Connie, and Grandma with me too…oh and of course Lula. But you know she goes to Patrice on Stark, and Patrice would cut her if she went anywhere else." I laughed.

"Bring them. I've been dying to get my hands on your Connie's hair, I know this is New Jersey…but it is no longer the early nineties. And dear lord. I would kill to get rid of the little old lady hair I see on your grandmother." He laughed. "But not Lula. Patrice would cut me too. We shop at the same hair supply store."

"Are you that bored?" I asked.

"YES." He groaned. "This economy is freaking killing me."

"See you in a few." I replied. "Okay Mr. Alexander can fit us all in. well except you Lula… because he says that Patrice would cut both of you."

"Damn Skippy." Lula laughed.

I quickly texted my JLS. 'Done at Spa…headed to mall. Still six of us plus Caesar and Brett.'

'OK. Will pick up Manny and Vince en route.' Came the reply from Ranger.

We headed out and sure enough our convoy picked up one more Rangeman SUV, noted for their size shiny and blackness. We hit Mr. Alexander's first and as soon as he had his hands full with Mom and Connie, I made two quick phone calls. The first was to Rossini's. I begged and pleaded until I was able to get a reservation for two at six. Then I called Daddy.

"Hey Pumpkin, everything ok?" he answered his cell.

"Of course Daddy. I've got Mom and Grandma with me at Mr. Alexander's and Mom is getting a new hairdo. So I'm thinking that I may drag her to Macy's and get her a new outfit and you and she can go to Rossini's for dinner." I suggested.

"That would be great, Pumpkin. Your mother would love it. But I'm not sure that I can get a reservation this late." He began.

"Already taken care of…it's for six under Plum." I said with a smile.

"Well then I guess I'd better go and get my hair cut." He laughed. "Steph, I'm glad you and your mother are having such a good time together today."

I chuckled. "Hey. I never said we were having a good time. She might be driving me crazy. Telling me I should be more like Mary Lou or someone." I teased.

Daddy laughed. "If she were, you'd have never taken her to your hair guy…let alone be getting ready to take her shopping, and setting us up with a nice date."

"You're right. I cannot ever remembering having this much fun with Mom. This is better than when I was a kid." I told him with a smile.

"And I'm glad Pumpkin. She seems to be more like her old self than she's been since Val was born. So have you decided what you want to do about giving me a grandson?" he asked slowly.

I laughed. "Sorry Daddy, have to go. Mr. Alexander is calling me for my turn." I replied.

"Yeah, right." He said skeptically. "Well think on it."

"If it makes you feel any better, you've got Lula, Mary Lou and the guys on your side." I teased.

"Yeah…but until you get on board, I'm still fishing alone." Daddy rejoined. "Go, have fun with you mother and make sure that she doesn't cut her hair again. Love you Pumpkin, whatever you decide." He disconnected.

An hour and a half later, Mom and Mary Lou were finished. Mr. Alexander was blowing my curls out and his shampoo girl was washing the highlighting solution from Connie's hair. He set my hair in huge rollers and I ended up over by Lula while Grandma and Mr. Alexander resumed their hair color argument. He wanted to tint Grandma's grey curls a nice brown with blonde highlights…much like my own. Grandma disagreed. She wanted either a platinum blond or a nice red. Lula offered me $20 on Grandma…but I wasn't stupid enough to bet against the woman from whom I inherited my stubbornness.

Eventually Mr. Alexander caved and gave her a lovely deep but natural red with blonde highlights. Mary Lou's hair was simply a richer version of her natural blonde, with honey lowlights and very light almost platinum highlights. My own natural brown had been enlivened with golden blonde and light red highlights, and some darker chestnut lowlights. Mom had allowed Mr. Alexander to take her hair back to her natural chestnut brown, a shade or three darker than my own, but she had dark golden and deep auburn highlights throughout her curls. Rather than blow out her curls, he'd wrapped them, still wet, around some large rollers and put her under a hood dryer from the get go. The finished look made her look at least fifteen years younger.

I wished we'd had the time to get her nails done, but by the time Mr. Alexander finished with us we were already pushing four. We hit Macy's like we were on a mission. The Rangemen providing forward and rear coverage that got us through the slight crowds quickly and efficiently. First we found Mom a gorgeous Jones New York faux wrap dress with chiffon sleeves in the prettiest shade of sapphire blue. It was perfect for the new her. A quick stop at the costume jewelry department and Connie found her some beautiful synthetic sapphire and pearl accessories. I took her to the shoe department and refused to let her buy anything sensible. Instead I found her a pair of retro looking pumps with a small platform and a 31/2 inch block heel. I let her be comfortable by staying with a neutral black. But I absolutely put my foot down when it came to those old fashion pantyhose. We searched the lingerie department and finally found her a retro sex kitten undergarment that gave her tummy control but best of all it had garter straps which let me talk her into getting a pair of seam up the back stockings.

Thankfully Fredericks was only a few doors from Macy's on the top floor. The lingerie store was out last stop for Mom. And our first stop for us. I managed to keep Grandma from going crazy, but I just know she'd gonna drag me back here when we have more time. Caesar and Vince took my mother and grandmother home, Vince staying to keep eyes on Grandma and Caesar stayed with Mom and Dad.

Lula found the actual clothing section at Frederick's and she became immediately enthralled. She became determined, and I mean one step from rhino mode determined, that we get out lingerie and tops from here. Then we could hit Macy's for the rest of our outfits. Granted that may have been because she found this amazing corset top. It was red with black embroidery; it was also low cut, tight and eye catching…so all around a perfect Lula top. She found a bra and panty set that was just as red as the shirt.

Mary Lou looked and looked for her before I finally made her get a great surplice blouse in purple, with cap sleeves, that was sexy without being over the top. It was subtle sexy and therefore perfect for Mary Lou. She found a lace over satin half-slip and bra set that had the garter straps as well and she grabbed quite a few pairs of the back seamed stockings. And she thought I didn't notice the ruffled shelf bar and panty set she picked up too.

Of course as easy as it was to find things for Mary Lou, that's how hard it was to find something for Connie. Finally we decided to just look around and see what we could find. Connie seemed to be less about the looking for an outfit, and more about looking into every mirror she passed mumbling, 'my hair' over and over.

"It looks great." I told her honestly. Mr. Alexander had introduced some auburn and mahogany highlights to her almost jet black hair. He'd blown it out and finished it off with some face framing layers that made her heart shaped face even more beautiful and doll like. She looked amazing. But she didn't really find a top that spoke to her. So she went to wander the store alone while I tried to find a shirt. I looked but I didn't see anything. At least not until I stumbled across a clearance rack of dresses. Most of them looked like total distraction wear, but there was one…It was a Chinese Cheongsam style dress, but rather than the traditional red, the background was a pretty blue topaz color. It had Japanese Cherry blossoms for the embroidery with light pink flowers, green leaves, and dark brown branches. I loved it. It was actually ankle length with slits up both sides that came pretty high up the sides of my thighs. I found the cutest little stretch satin and lace chemise in black that had the required garter straps, and I went with regular sheer stockings in deep brown, rather than back seamed ones.

Suddenly Connie appeared next to me smiling back. She not only had the sexiest black dress I've ever seen, but a box of something too. She held up the dress and I could tell it was cut down to there a deep scoop neck in the front, and as low as it could go in the back. The skirt would hit Connie a bit below mid-thigh. And the dress had kind of billowy sleeves that were gathered at the wrist and slit from shoulder to cuff. I was about to ask her how she was gonna manage that dress given her rather well-endowed chest area, when she held up the box. "Nu Bra invisible bra system." She answered my unasked question. The sales girl found it for me and she found me the tiniest red thong. So now I just need shoes."

"Me too." I smiled and showed her my finds.

"Now, you are sure that Ranger's brother is going to be there?" She asked. I gave her a surprised look. "Lula told me. She said that he was almost as fine as Ranger. And he better be 'cause that mustache wax hurt worse than the Brazilian."

"Man, Don't even mention Brazilian." I moaned.

Mary Lou laughed as she joined us at the counter. "Still trying to repress the fact that your Mom got one?"

"I was." I said giving her a death glare. "Until you just mentioned it."

"Whoops!" Mary Lou said unapologetically. "I don't know if it makes you feel any better. But it feels a little like I know that my mom just got -you know what, I really won't mention it again."

Laughing we all headed to Macy's after checking out. Lula found a cute little, and I mean little, black lace mini skirt and a pair of Steve Madden black patent leather pumps with an animal print platform and five inch red stiletto heel, these were some perfectly Lula shoes. Mary Lou decided to go for a pencil skirt with leather trim in black. It had a slit up the back that made it sexier on than I'd have thought. We found her a great pair of Marc Jacobs black suede peep toe pumps with a patent leather bow embellishment and a mesh cut out detail in the back.

Once again Connie and I faced a dilemma in the shoe department. She finally found a pair of Marc Fisher pumps in red suede. They had an almond toe and ankle strap. Then she found me a pair of great almond toe Mary Janes with a 51/2 inch heel and an 11/2 inch platform. They were dark brown patent leather, and had an amazing arch support. I could wear these shoes all night and then some. I dragged the girls to Claire's and then back to Mr. Alexander's. He gave me one hell of a cute faux-hawk that flowed back into a chic bun where he placed the Chinese looking hair sticks in my hair for me. Finally we all headed back to Haywood to get dressed.

The guys were getting dressed at the house, but they were kind enough to send Ella to us here. I love Ella. We had a great time and with her help we all looked fabulous. We did nails and Ella gave me a totally cool Asian look eye. She found fire engine red nail lacquer and lipstick for Connie and a nice deep warmer red for Lula. If I didn't know better I'd swear that Brett and Manny had been relaying her the info on our apparel just so she could grab the right stuff on her way over. But by the time we were done, we had each tried to thank her at least a hundred times each.

"Girls, I had just as much fun as you did. You each look beautiful. I'm sure that the guys are going to swallow their tongues when they see you." Ella told us was she herded us to the elevator. "Now have fun. Sorry but you are running a bit behind."

**Ram PoV**

Before we could all go out tonight, I needed to have a talk with Tank. It was awkward but he is my boss…or at least my direct supervisor, but even more than that he's one of the rare people whose opinion of me matters to me. "Tank, you busy?" I asked when I poked my head in his office before lunch.

"I could use a break. What do you need?" he responded.

"Umm…it's about tonight." I started, taking the seat he directed me to. "I'm supposed to go with you guys to dinner and out after. And I understand that Ms. Lula is coming along."

Tank gave me a searching look. "Yes, she and Steph took the girls out for a special spa day. They even invited Abegaile but she had a dead line to meet. Why?"

I'm sure that I'm blushing like a nun in a whorehouse. "Well, I just. I'd like a chance to ask her out. And I know you're happy with what you and the guys have going with Steph; but I value your friendship and respect you too much to go after Ms. Lula without, I don't know, checking with you."

Tank gave me a cocky smile. "So you like the lovely lady Lula?"

"Yeah, I kinda do." I said with a grin of my own.

"Is her former profession gonna be a problem for you?" he asked seriously.

I thought about how to answer that. The truth is that if it weren't for hookers I wouldn't be here. My grandmother worked her way up from street level to become a Madame with her own house down in Baton Rouge. My mother had spent some years working in that house until she took it over. So no I don't have any problem with the fact that she used to hook. Finally I simply said, "I'm proud of the fact that she got out and didn't fall back in." now that was the honest truth. My mama had gotten out once upon a time. Then she met and married my dad. But when that blew up, she went back to what she'd known her whole life.

"If it's going to bother you…you need to leave her alone. She and I may not have worked out, but she's a good woman, and I do care about her. I don't want to see her hurt. And Stephanie will kill you if you hurt her or worse-just make you wish you were dead." He advised.

"It's not going to bother me." I said calmly. Though the thought of Bombshell actively trying to do me harm made me a bit queasy.

"Okay then, go for it." he finally said giving me a genuine smile. I stood and Tank came around the desk to give me a brotherly hug. "You know if you and Lula work out….you're never gonna get rid of us." He teased.

"Man, Tank, I'm a 20 year Marine. You guys let me kick ass, help people every day, and nobody cares that I'm half antisocial." I said with a little bit of snark. "I ain't goin' nowhere." I finished, a bit of the Louisiana creeping back into my voice.

I left that office and headed back to my apartment on four. I had several tailored suits, every Rangeman does for event security in the higher end homes. But I couldn't find a tie that I thought Lula would like. All of mine are very subdued and reserved. Since Woody and Junior were meeting Abegaile tonight, I dragged them with me to Joseph A Banks. I hate the mall with a fiery passion, so I much prefer to shop at somewhere that caters to men. I was able to find a charcoal shirt, and a tie that was burgundy on claret, according to the tag, in a bold paisley print. I would pair those with my dark grey suit and be good. Woody and Junior chose less bold patterned ties, and more traditional colored shirts. Woody's shirt was barely cream and Junior's was a grey so light it was almost white. Woody's tie was killer. I almost wish I'd seen it first. It was a solid deep wine colored Windsor tie. Junior had gone for a purple paisley tie with subtle but bolder then the background paisley diamond thingies on it. It was nice, and would play well with the shirt he found. Over all we were happy when we made it back to finish the day shift.

But now that I'm here in the garage waiting with the JLS, Lenny, Guilermo and Abegaile and her choices, I'm a jumpy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I think we all start when the elevator opens. Bombshell comes out looking quite pretty in a sexy version of a Cheongsam. She is followed by her friend Mary Lou. Lenny draws in such a deep breath he chokes on it. She does look nice. A little matronly for me, but what do I know. Connie steps out and a quick glance over at Guilermo tells me he pretty much just swallowed his tongue. I can say though that if I were a smaller guy, he'd have a fight on his hands. Finally Ms. Lula steps out and she is looking hot. Her hair has red streaks, I'm pretty sure they are the fake ones you put in and take back out later, cause her hair was just dark, dark brown when I saw her yesterday. But she is wearing a red top that looks like it ties on a little tiny lace mini skirt that shows off legs that would look damn fine over my shoulders. And some shoes that I'd let her keep on all damn night.

I can't help but walk over and give her my arm. "You carriage awaits." I said suavely as I led her over to the limo Ranger had supplied for the night.

**Stephanie PoV**

I'm starting to think that Connie and Lula are right and Ranger is a wizard. He found a Humvee Limo in shiny black that seated all sixteen of us comfortably, and he reserved us a private dining room at Malaga's a Spanish Restaurant in the heart of the financial district. Within the room, the restaurant provided a huge family style meal that was a blend of Spanish and Cuban cuisine. We were all able to taste and eat to our hearts content and the sangria flowed freely. The food was amazing. Every time I turned around Tank, or Bobby or Cal and Hal were placing some new and tantalizing morsel in my mouth. Ranger and Lester both made sure I tried all the Cuban foods and Hector even found a Mexican inspired dish for me to sample. I looked around and Guilermo and Connie were talking animatedly. Ram and Lula were sitting close together, and Abegaile was being regaled with stories by Woody and Manny. Junior unfortunately already seemed to be out of the running, but our waitress seemed very ready to console him.

When we'd eaten our fill, we piled back into the limo and were transported to a club called Conduit that was really two clubs in one. We entered Planet Havana without having to wait in the line; in fact the bouncer was wearing a Rangeman shirt. However before we could make our way to the bar or the dance floor, all of our cell phones and pagers began to blare. Mary Alice was missing.


	17. Morellis Abound

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** Sorry for the long delay...Depression SUCKS monkey balls. Hopefully I'm back

**Please take a moment and Check out My new Community: MORELLI BASHERS ANONYMOUS **

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 17<br>**

_Mary Alice PoV_

He grabbed me from behind. I remembered to kick back and try to run, but I'm too short for my kick to get him where it needed to. Before I could manage to get a look at him he had me tossed over his shoulder.

"Look Mary Alice, you just stay quiet and I won't need to do this again." His voice was kind of familiar. Like maybe I've heard it around but not regularly. I try to do all the things Aunt Stephanie says she does when she gets kidnapped, notice any clue I can about the bad guy. But it's hard. I can tell you that he uses the same cologne that daddy used to back when we lived in California, and that this voice is kinda familiar. But not really anything else.

"My Aunt Stephanie is going to kick your ass." I said fearlessly as I felt a pinch in my bottom. "And then Ranger and her Justice League will make you beg for death before they kill you." Aunt Stephanie's boyfriends would make sure that he paid for this. They had told me that even if this jerk did somehow manage to get their hands on one of us, they would move heaven and earth to find us and make the mean man pay, dearly. That was my last thought as everything went all fuzzy and then black.

_Ranger PoV_

When we got the 911 text from the office, I'm sure that Stephanie's heart stopped. In fact I can tell you that it was not alone in its' hesitation to beat. "Abegaile, you Connie and the Stankovics should stay and have fun."

"No Carlito…that little girl is Stephanie's family. Your family…my family. We're coming too." Abegaile returned.

One look at Connie, Mary Lou and Lenny and I knew that this argument was pointless. We quickly made our way out of the club. I stopped to let the man on the door know that Rangeman was now on high alert due to the kidnapping of one of our protectorate. He gave me a quick nod of acknowledgement. A subsequent text would be sent from the Control Room when protocols were established, so the nod was all he could do at this point.

We made it back to Haywood in no time at all. Albert was there with Angie and Lisa. Angie and her stepfather were glaring at Val where she sat far down the table from the bulk of her family. She sat there, alone, looking harried and tired.

"Report." I barked at Blinkie. Somehow I doubted that I would get much information from Babe's sister right now. And Zero was on scene waiting for the arrival of the Trenton PD.

"Earlier today, roughly sixteen thirty, Mrs. Kloughn left her home with all three of her daughters in her Caravan. Not long after we left, following them our vehicle was stopped by Officer Morelli. Rather than pull over with us as Zero signaled her to do, Mrs. Kloughn kept driving. Suffice it to say we lost her. After being released by Officer Morelli, with a warning ticket for failure to signal a lane change…a lane change we did not make until after he turned on his blue lights, by the way; we separated. Zero dropped me here to get a vehicle and I returned to the Kloughn home in the hopes that Mrs. Kloughn had returned there with the girls." Every time Blinkie said Mrs. Kloughn his voice, despite all his training, shook with anger and affront. "Zero drove through the 'burg. Before I could call Steph to see what she wanted me to do, Zero radioed back to let me know that he had located Val's van at Mrs. Arabella Morelli's home. He placed eyes on each of them, including Mrs. Kloughn, who he believed was trying to take a nap. He returned to his vehicle to wait for the visit to be over. He says that at no time did he see anyone enter or leave the house through the front door, or the detached garage. Ranger…he kept eyes on that house for the entire time he was there."

Connie spoke up. "Bella Morelli's house has a blind alley behind it. There is a gate into it, and the damn thing doesn't come out onto Market or Emrick, but that little side street, Dunn. There'd be no way for Zero to see if anyone came in through that gate. Old Anthony built his yard that way on purpose; he used to run some stuff for my granddad back in the day."

"Damn." Blinkie said. "That increases our time table. She was there for almost 2 hours. MA could have been taken any time after seventeen hundred hours. That's when Zero returned to his vehicle. Mrs. Kloughn left the Morelli home at eighteen twenty eight in a major hurry. Angie was fussing at her the whole time about something according to Zero. He didn't have eyes on MA, but when he asked Mrs. Kloughn, she simply gave him a crude hand gesture, and drove off."

"This is all Heffie Stephie's fault." Val whined. "I needed Mom to watch the girls, but she wasn't home. She went on some stupid spa day with Stephanie." She snarled. "I just had to get some sleep. Albert won't sleep with me anymore. The baby is so restless. And Albert was always so good at getting Lisa to quiet down in there. But no Albert has to sleep downstairs. I can't sleep at night; I have to watch Lisa during the day. I just wanted to take a nap."

Stephanie gave her sister a look that could have peeled paint off a car, "Okay so why are we here?" Why aren't we over at Bella's with the cops looking for MA?" she asked exasperatedly.

"Because your genius of a sister loaded two out of three girls in the car and came home. I got home to find the house empty, Val pulled up maybe five minutes later with Angie and Lisa. Angie was in tears. She was trying to get her mother to go back. She kept yelling that they needed to find MA. Val was yelling at her to shut up. That Angie was making more noise than Mary Alice for the first time in her life. Supposedly she didn't realize that she was one daughter short until I asked where the hell MA was." Albert said his voice hard and cold, his usually warm eyes looking like flint.

"I swear…I'm so tired I didn't notice that she wasn't in the car." Val whined again. Her voice is really starting to grate on my nerves.

Blinkie spoke back up. "Zero returned to Bella Morelli's house when it was confirmed that MA was not in the vehicle. He couldn't see her anywhere on the first floor of the house. So he knocked and asked Mrs. Morelli where she was. The old lady got extremely belligerent and ordered him off her property. He moved off and called the TPD. He would have stayed, but he was too close to losing it. I came here rather than go over there because Zero is much better at handling his temper than I am. I'd have killed the old bat. I like MA, she's pretty much Bomber Junior. That old biddie doesn't even seem to care that a little girl is missing."

Angie spoke up. "I tried to tell you Mom. I kept trying to tell you. You just told me to shut up because you had a headache. You wouldn't listen. Just like you wouldn't listen when I said that if Gramom couldn't watch us you should just get Mr. Blinkie or Mr. Zero to come inside and sit with us. I could have taken care of Lisa and MA would have had someone to play her horse games with. I don't like Mrs. Morelli. She's always talking bad about Aunt Steph and Grandma Edna. And she smells funny." Angie yelled before running over, hugging Stephanie hard and bursting into heart wrenching sobs. "I tried Aunt Steph, I really, really tried."

"I know Baby, I know." Stephanie said squatting down to hug her niece. "No one else knows better than me exactly how stubborn your mom. You know one day when we were little I was trying to tell her that her skirt was on fire, and she wouldn't pay me any attention until it was all alight."

"You set my skirt on fire on purpose." Val Yelled. "You know you did."

Babe rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Yeah, Val, I set your skirt on fire _with a Sparkler_ on purpose." Sarcasm was dripping off every word. "Who the hell wears a dress to a Fourth of July picnic in the first place?" She yelled back before turning back to the girl in her arms. She hugged Angie tightly, "You see, stubborn." She said gently.

I turned to Tank. "Do we have eyes on Mrs. Mazur and the Plums?"

"Eyes and ears. Edna's enroute. Frank and Mrs. Plum will be within the next twenty minutes." He apprised me.

"What's the hold up?" I couldn't imagine anything keeping the Night Fox from being here with one of his girls missing. Neither Plum would appreciate the delay.

Tank flushed visible. "Apparently Frank really, really likes Mrs. Plum's new look. Neither of the guards is willing to interrupt before they finish. Though both of them say they want to be Frank when they grow up. Oh and we intercepted the neighbor's call to 911 about the screaming."

For a moment no one knew what to say. I watched as emotions flew across Babe's beautifully expressive face. I knew she had a major part of her mother's new hairdo and her parent's date tonight, so the pride was expected. I suppose I should have expected the slightly disgusted look, but I will never understand the mentality of children, especially adult children, who assume that their parents aren't sexual creatures. How else would the world have reached this large a population. Her mild disgust amused me a bit. Finally I said the only thing I could think to say, "He's a Ranger."

Edna entered the room in a fury. Her hair was all over the place and a remarkable new color. She was still in her nightclothes. She marched directly to her oldest granddaughter and slapped the shit out of Val. I couldn't help but like Edna even more as she spoke, her voice deadly calm, and more pissed off than I'd ever heard anyone her age sound. "If anything has happened to that little girl because of your selfishness and stupidity, I will give you until you delver that Morelli spawn in your belly and I will kill you myself."

"This is Albert's baby." Val said steadfastly.

"Bullshit. It's written in the bags under your eyes and the tense lines in your face. You haven't slept in a while. I hear Angie and Bella are having the same problem, but they're home alone all day, they can nap. Eddie said that Joe's been falling asleep at his desk. He wakes up seconds later screaming and fighting the air. Kenny Mancuso took a vacation just yesterday because he kept falling asleep at the job. I heard from Daphne Cole, she works at the elementary school…Anthony's boys, hell all the Morelli kids are the same way. Your mom got them good-not's a moment's rest, she said. Your baby can't sleep-so you can't sleep." Edna crowed. She turned to me. "Ranger, please, find my great grandbaby before that scum sucking bastard can hurt her."

"You all heard the lady." I growled. "Tank, I want Trenton PD informed. See if they can keep Morelli from the scene; I will shoot him if I need to get past him to interrogate the grandmother. Everyone else, we need to get changed and 'dressed' and meet in the garage in five." I turned to Stephanie, "Babe." I knew she wouldn't stay here, but I need her to be focused and most importantly 'dressed'.

"Lula and I will be ready in five. Mary Lou, I need you and Lenny to head home and keep the grapevine misdirected." Stephanie commanded her troops. 'Connie, can you,"

Connie had her cellphone out and was texting madly. "Uncle Jimmy and the boys are headed to Bella's now. She will answer him, trust me, and the boys will help with the canvassing."

Abegaile looked up from her cell. "Mama and the family are on their way. They want to help with the search. Your secret will not survive the night hermano." She looked to Stephanie. "Is there something I can change into? I will help as well."

Stephanie went to Abegaile and gave her a very rare, for Stephanie, hug. "Thank you. You can come upstairs. Lula and I always keep a few changes of clothes here. You'll probably be in a Rangeman uniform."

"That's fine." She said as the three women left to change.

As we left to go change ourselves, Helen and Frank Plum arrived on five. "Report." He barked. We all snapped to attention.

"Mary Alice has been missing for at least two and a half hours, Sir. She went missing from Bella Morelli's home where Val apparently went to take a nap." I said before further summarizing the situation.

"When are we rolling out?" he asked.

"Everyone has five minutes to get changed, we roll out momentarily." I answered.

Frank nodded and turned to his wife. "Helen, I want to see Angie and Lisa. Send them out to me please. If I go in that room and your daughter is still singing the Morellis' praises, I will not be able to hold my temper."

_Helen PoV_

I walked in and for a moment I was struck by the fact that it looked like everyone was against my eldest daughter. She looked so tired and worn out I almost went to her. Instead I turned to Angie and said calmly. "Angie, take Lisa out to see Granddad. I'd like to talk to your mother."

"Yes Ma'am." She said taking her sister from her stepfather. "Gramom, you look very pretty. Your hair is really nice and you look all glowy."

"Thank you, dear." I replied and blushed. The ability for everyone and their grandmother to tell when you've had a really good night is something Stephanie inherited from me. Just like I had inherited it from my father. "Valerie, I would like to know why you would take the girls out of the house for no reason, when they are in such danger. I understand that you lost your guards. Were you behind them getting pulled over?" I had a horrible thought, "are you helping your sister's stalker?"

"No, of course not. I just wanted some sleep. And I was just so tired. And you weren't home. Come to find you were too busy going for a spa day with Heffie Stephie" she complained. 'Well Nona Bella is always home. I went over and when the cops stopped those Rangemen, I knew that if I just kept going, no one would know where I went. So I just kept going. And Nona Bella she took one look at me and told me to go lay down, she would watch the girls. Well I was in and out because the baby just wouldn't let me rest. When Angie came in and woke me up, I realized that it was time for Albert to come home and I didn't have anything ready for dinner. So I just told her to shut up and come on. I don't know how I didn't realize that Mary Alice wasn't with us I just…Angie was being so loud and Lisa was crying and I was so happy that Mary Alice was being quiet for once in her life."

"I was trying to tell you that Mrs. Morelli had made MA go gallop in the back yard." Angie yelled as she came back into the conference room. "I was trying to tell you that she made me look after Lisa while she took a nap too. I was trying to tell you that when I went to call MA back inside when Mrs. Morelli went upstairs, she was gone. I tried to watch her from the kitchen windows but I couldn't watch Lisa and MA at the same time." Angie screamed at her mother. 'I told you if you wanted sleep, we could stay home and I could get Mr. Blinkie and Mr. Zero to come inside. They would have watched us. They are really nice and MA would still be safe."

Val looked aghast. "I couldn't have had those thugs come into the house, what would the neighbors think? They could have molested or raped you."

Mother stood from where she has been sitting talking to Connie. She crossed the room angrily and slapped the hell out of Valerie. Judging from the handprint on Val's other cheek, this wasn't the first time. "Those boys are good, honorable and decent men. They would cut off their own packages with a rusty spoon before touching a child. They are worth a hundred of a fool like you. Your head is so far up Joe Morelli's ass you can't see anything but the shit he's feeding you."

_Stephanie PoV_

I have never in my life changed as quickly as I did in those two minutes. I left my hair and face alone not wanting to waste the time to redo them. For the first ever I donned this uniform with the full intent to do harm. I'm really hoping that Joe didn't have anything to do with this. That he was just being a dick when he pulled the guys over today. But everything in me was screaming that all this comes back to the Morelli's. And if this stalker was a Morelli, I will end that entire family, not including the baby Val is carrying, if he hurts MA.

A look shared with Lula tells me she is thinking along the same line. "There are too many Morellis in this mess, skinny white girl. I'm thinking Bella set Mini-You up. You can't tell me she had nothing to do with this. Either she's an accessory, or she criminally negligent. Whichever, if she tries to give me the eye, I'm shooting her…little old lady or not."

Abegaile joined us. She had pulled her long very dark hair into a ponytail. She had removed her jewelry and looked ready to go. "My Abuela, she will deal with this little old lady's eye. Her father was a Brujo. She has enough magic to take on a crazy bitch who would help harm a child. I need to get strapped."

"Let's hit the armory…Lula and my Kevlar is down there anyway." I answered.

Ranger appeared in the doorway. "Babe, your and Lula's vest are on the couch. I brought up Hector's extra for Abegaile. Abe, I have you a .22 on the coffee table, Hector's loaned you a butterfly, and there's a stun gun there for you as well. I want you 'dressed'.

Minutes later, we were all fully dressed and heading to the garage. Looking around I saw my dad looking more like, well, ranger, than I ever thought possible. He was in dark pants, and a dark shirt and a Kevlar. He had his own large gun in a thigh holster, and what looked like a double barrel pump action shot gun strapped on across his back. He gave me a grim smile as we all loaded into the SUVs and headed to the burg. Hang on MA, we're coming.

_Stalker PoV_

So far so good. I never would have thought it would be so easy. My mother was on the phone with Nona Bella when Valerie showed up there with the girls. I heard her yell at poor little Mary Alice to take that racket to the back yard. After that it was nothing to it. I'd been preparing for this I just didn't think I'd be able to get to her this soon. I was gone and back in under an hour.

I've got my computer set up to make the call. The recording is less than two minutes long, and the VOIP is set to bounce it so it looks like it's coming from halfway down the coast. My leg hurts like a son of a bitch where the little hellion kicked me. Maybe I'll get a little payback before the trade.

_Tank PoV_

Little Girl's phone ringing startled all of us in the Cayenne, though she was the only one who jumped. She grabbed it and, as per Rangeman protocols in this situation, put it immediately on Speakerphone. A digitized voice came through. "Bombshell, Babe, Cupcake…I love Stephanie, it's such a beautiful name. Why can't everyone just call you by your name? Well, my dear, Stephanie I believe I have someone here your family would like back. She's very much like you, more so than I'd ever imagined. She has your fighter's spirit. It would be a shame to see that broken. So here is the deal…her for you. Even trade you can spend the night in my bed…or well, I'm sure you get the point. You have one hour to decide." CLICK.

"DAMN IT. Son of a Bitch." She yelled. "It was too short. That wasn't two minutes was it?"

Ranger shook his head. "No, Babe. It wasn't." he pressed the call button on the console. "Control Room, You get that?"

"Yes sir, Call came from a VOIP service. Number registered in Virginia. But it was a fully digital recording. This guy just made his first mistake. He recorded it to his PC and then used digitizing software. Give us ten to fifteen and we'll have the real voice for you." Rogers, one of the semi-permanent contract workers said determinedly. If I remember correctly he has two little girls himself. He'll move heaven and hell to make sure this guy is found.

We pulled up in front of Arabella Morelli's house to find Zero going toe to toe with the last person we wanted to see at this crime scene, Joe Morelli. "I don't give a damn who you think you are, you are not interrogating my grandmother." Joe yelled.

Zero looked at him contemptuously. He pulled himself up to his full six foot two inches, "There is a little girl who got snatched out of your grandmother's gated and locked backyard. Get the fuck out of my way so I can speak to her and figure out if she's an accomplice or a fucking dupe because I guaren-damn-tee she know more than she's saying."

We unloaded from our vehicle. Distracted by wondering who was going to pull their sidearm first Morelli or Zero; I almost missed seeing an older Italian man, who screamed FAMILY, walk right past them and kick in the door. He entered the house without a backward glance. Morelli turned to go and protect his grandmother only to be stopped by three younger Italian men. They created a solid wall of muscle and when Morelli tried to brush past them, they laughed. "Look Morelli, we don't give a damn about your badge. Uncle Jimmy's gonna ask your Nona a few questions so we can find that little girl. If you got a problem with that we can settle that problem for you permanently."

Before he could reply 'Uncle Jimmy' came back outside and walked out and directly to Morelli. "Where the hell was your ass this afternoon when the kid got snatched?"

"What the hell? I was at Work. Why are you asking me? It was probably one of those friggin' Rangemen. No 'burg man would do this kind of shit." He retorted.

"Yeah cause Ranger and his men have been in this town long enough to have pictures for my daughter in her tasty pastry uniforms." Frank said walking up to the men. "James. What did the old battleax have to say?"

Uncle Jimmy gave Morelli a hard look. "Frank. She said that the only people with a key to that lock are Morellis." He said to Frank without ever taking his eyes off of Joe. "So I'll ask again, and you will answer or my boys here and I will make you answer. Where were you this afternoon while Mrs. Kloughn and her girls were here?"

I heard more than saw Stephanie's reaction. Before I could blink she was across the lawn. She took Morelli to the ground and started to pummel him. "This is all your fucking fault. You tell me where MA is. You tell me where she is."

Her daddy just let her go, until Morelli decided to hit back. Then we could all only smile as we heard his shotgun ratchet. "Joseph Anthony Morelli, get your hands off my daughter. If I shoot you it will not be to wound." He warned. His wasn't the only gun aimed at Morelli right now. He was joined by each and every Rangeman as well as the Rosolli men. "We will shoot you and we will find my granddaughter. I'm fairly sure that with you dead we can convince any judge in this town that you and your grandmother were both accomplices in the disappearance of my granddaughter. Now start telling us who you, as a police officer, feel is the most likely suspect, other than yourself."

I looked over at Ram. "Take a team and search Officer Morelli's house. Look for any sign of his involvement." Ram left the scene with Woody, Lula and Manny. I approached Morelli cautiously. "Who else Morelli…who else in your family have access to keys to that gate. Males ages 30 to sixty."

"I don't know, every branch has one. When you move out on your own, you get one to keep in your kitchen or on your key chain." Morelli finally answered. "Hell even Leo can get his hands on Aunt Loretta's.

Ranger's phone rang. He grabbed it and sent it to speaker phone. "Report."

"We tracked the Voice over internet phone's service provider; the ISP that was used to purchase it is here in Trenton. Benny was able to find a pattern to all the free internet purchases. But I need someone who can give us an identity on the voice Silvio pulled from the recording."

"Silvio?" Ranger barked. He wondered why Silvio was contacted down in Miami.

"The new system, sir. When we go on high alert here, everything is automatically backed up in Miami. Their control room heard the call to, Silvio called us less than five minutes later with the voice returned to normal. He said to tell Bomber hello and to shoot the mutherfucker once for him." Rogers reported.

He played the recording and it wasn't Morelli, but I had heard that voice before. "What are you guys playing here? How did you get his voice? Are you trying to say that my cousin is doing this?"

"Which Cousin?" Frank asked. When Morelli didn't answer right away, Frank slid his Shotgun onto his back, pulled his bowie, from somewhere, even I didn't see. He stepped behind Morelli, grabbed the asshole by the hair and held the knife to the arched throat. "Which of your fucking cousins, Morelli?"

"Leo." Stephanie answered for the still silent cop.

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><p>Reviews are Better than Antidepressants...less side effects too.<p>

Save a pill, write a review.


	18. Suicide Ain't Painless

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** I have made an Executive Decision. No longer will I force you to read long sections of poorly translated Spanish…from now on if it is spoken by Hector, it will be italicized, and you can automatically assume that it is in Spanish. Google Translate will greatly thank me for this decision, since now they can go back to helping high schoolers pass their foreign language classes (Why was there no Google Translate when I was in High School)…

**Please take a moment and Check out My new Community: MORELLI BASHERS ANONYMOUS **

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 18<br>**_**Stephanie Point of View**_

"That's Bullshit." Morelli shouted brazenly, despite the knife still being pressed against his throat. "Leo still lives with Aunt Loretta and Uncle Micky. He can't kidnap anybody."

"Let's just go and see about that." Frank Plum growled as he yanked Morelli up by his hair. "You'd better hope that my granddaughter is ok. Otherwise the Plums might have to declare vendetta against the Morellis…hear you've already ran afoul of the Mazur anger...how you been sleeping Detective?"

I stood back a look of pride glowing on my face. I knew however that Daddy was getting closer and closer to his threshold of patience. I needed to give him a reason to not slit Morelli's throat. At least not here in front of all these witnesses. "Daddy, once we get MA back, me and the guys, we're gonna start working on your grandson. But if you go to jail, who's gonna take him fishing?"

Daddy threw me a smile. "Don't worry Pumpkin. I'm not gonna kill the cazzone, unless he makes me." Daddy said his voice darkly calm. "Leo, he's dead. But Joe will be safe if he cooperates and we get MA back safe and sound."

"Cupcake…you cannot seriously be considering having a kid with one of those fucking thugs." Morelli yelled. Apparently he found it more important to bitch and moan about my life choices than to plead for his cousin's worthless life.

Daddy's knife flew and in seconds Morelli was bleeding from six diagonal cuts. Three in each cheek. "Those boys aren't thugs and you know it. You've been spreading that BS all over Trenton. But I never could figure out why. So I did a little checking on you Morelli. Part of me always wondered how you got home from the Navy for good after serving only two years. But to be honest I never really cared all that much. Until you started berating my daughter at every turn. Care to guess what I found?" Daddy asked sounding for all the world like he would love to rent a billboard just to put the answer up for everyone in the 'burg to read.

"He was dishonorably discharged under Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Apparently he got caught with a fellow seaman on board ship." Lester said with a smile. Wonder how long he'd known. Probably all along. Its information Rangeman would know, they personally wouldn't give a damn, but they would want to know. "It would seem that Joey-boy may like his women small, white and girly…but he likes his men big, black and burly."

Tank snorted. "He better keep his eyes off me. The only Italian I want is half Hungarian, blue eyed and female."

Bobby laughed. "Man Morelli, kinda hard to stay in the closet when they catch you taking it up the ass from your bunkmate."

"I was not caught taking anything up the ass. I'm not gay." Morelli screamed again unmindful of Daddy's knife. Yeah, that's gonna leave a mark. "Damn it. We were just horney and bored. Shit." He yelled.

I looked around. "Just making sure here. I mean I don't have a lot of training, but he was lying his ass off right there wasn't he?"

Ranger laughed. "Training or not your instincts are spot on as always, Babe. His mirco-expressions, body language and syntax all scream LIE."

"Look Morelli. I don't give a rat's ass if you like having a train run on you by the entire Giants offensive line. You're going to come and help us get my Mary Alice away from your sick bastard of a cousin." Daddy began calmly.

Only to be interrupted by Bella Morelli running out of the house. "You leave my grandsons alone. Joey and his cousins are good boys. They have nothing to do with this. Your whore of a daughter has been throwing herself at my Joey for years." She yelled. "Let him go Francis Plum, or I will put the eye on you."

We all heard the hammer being drawn back. But it took me a minute to identify the familiar sound as belonging to Lula's glock. "Look old lady. I don't really want to shoot an old broad like you but I will if you start any of that hoodoo shit." Lula said. She was anything but calm. "Hate that root shit." She mumbled. Her gun was steady and aimed right at Bella Morelli's head. "And those 'good boys', most of them are keeping the whores on Stark Street in business, the others are beating the crap out of their wives and girlfriends every other day and one of them has spent the last damn near month threatening to rape a child, so excuse me if I don't buy your bull about their moral character. SO carry your old ass back into the house before I pull this trigger on sheer principality."

Silence rang through the night. No one could believe what had just happened. Uncle Jimmy looked at his boys. "I like her. Why couldn't either of you have brought home a girl with moxie like her?"

I swear even in the dim streetlights, I could see Lula blush. Hard to do in the best of lights so that tells you how flushed she was in that moment. Shaking it off she holstered her sidearm, and we all climbed into the vehicles. I wracked my brain for every memory I could dredge up about Mickey Morelli's home. "Leo's basement doesn't have its own entrance. He's have to take her through the kitchen." I said into the tense quiet of the SUV. "We'll need to get his parents out of the house. Dad is the blood Morelli, but he'll be the easier, more cooperative, parent. He's been trying to get Leo out of that house since before he loaned his car to Kenny."

Tank shook his head. "We need to go in silent, stun them both before either of them can give warning. I'd suggest we cut the phone line, but that would tip him off."

I looked at my men in the SUV with me, Tank and Lester in the back, Ranger next to me. "Leo's not surviving this." I said determinedly.

"Babe." Ranger said quietly. I took that to mean, 'of course he won't'.

Lester, however, was not quite on board. "He may have to. If he's made good on his sexual threats, MA may only be able to begin to heal if she confront him herself. Almost eighty percent of rape and molestation victims say that it is beneficial to testify against, to confront their attacker." He said cautiously. At the outraged looks from myself and Tank, he continued. "That's not to say he won't meet with an unfortunate accident while he's doing his bid once MA has her say."

"Or, we can let MA kick him in the balls until she feels better, and then shoot him after she's left the room." Tank suggested helpfully. "She can have her closure, and it's one less asshole we have to worry about coming back after us later."

Lester looked at me quizzically. "Did you mean it, Beautiful?"

"Yeah. I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks." I said, for once not even trying to pretend that I didn't know what he was talking about.

"Then you and Tank are right. We'll have to find a way to give MA closure and then take him out." Lester said definitively. "There is no way we're going to even allow for the chance that he could get paroled or some bullshit. This town is such a fucking cesspool, he might actually get bail."

Ranger nodded. "No real home, no real connections to the community, the Morellis would hide any contact from the authorities. He'd be a worry to MA and Stephanie forever." He reached over and grabbed my hand, squeezing it before continuing, "This may all be moot anyway. MA is a smart girl. She will be fighting him. She will be ok…and if she isn't; then he will die, and we will help her get her happy back."

I gave him a smile that brightened considerably. I pressed the call button on the dash. " Control room, is there any way to cut all calls going into and out of the home of Mickey and Loretta Morelli, without cutting their internet?"

"Already done Bomber. Ranger called it in with the vocal ID." Rogers said calmly. "We've diverted all calls directly to voicemail."

"Good work." Ranger barked.

_**Lester PoV**_

We approached the house dark. No lights and no sound. Rather than kicking in the door and announcing our presences as we would have been forced to do, had we been cops, we were able to pick the locks on the front and back doors and enter the house silently.

Lula and Bones lead the team into the front. Abegaile was with them as were five other men. They were tasked with getting the parents bagged and tagged and out of the house with little to no noise. Frank was with the JLS and Stephanie herself going in through the back door, and down into the basement. He had left Morelli laid out in the back of one of the SUV's. The cop was unconscious, but he was still cuffed and gagged. Zero was left behind to watch him. Of course Zero was looking forward to tazing the hell out of the idiot if he started to come around.

Ram was approaching the scene, with a few of our cleaners. If Leo had to be disappeared they would be called in, so it was decided to bring them in just in case rather than having to wait on them to get here later. Part of me wanted to let them disappear Joe with Leo, but I knew that the cop's disappearance would blow up in everyone's faces. Besides, I couldn't wait for it to make it through the 'burg grapevine as to why he'd been kicked out of the Navy. Yeah, that would be worth letting him live for a few more months.

It was an agony of an eternity waiting for the signal from the front. Finally it came. The bark like hoot of a non-native snowy owl, and we moved in. Ranger went in first followed closely by Frank Plum. Watching the older man move one would think he was barely forty not the sixty plus he really is. Given the way he eats, he must be where Beautiful gets her metabolism. I shook off my frivolous thoughts and focused on the task at hand. Fortunately Leo wasn't in the kitchen looking for a snack. We made our way down the basement stairs, carefully. We found that the Morellis had taken measures to ensure their son's privacy and closed off the front of the basement where the laundry area was, leaving Leo's room behind a closed door. It took less time to get past that lock than it did to get past Steph's old door. We entered a gamer's cave. Huge ass TV, top notch X-Box 360 and PS3 set up, you know I think I'll get MA one of those systems to take home with her when this is all done.

Leo wasn't in this room; there was only one door on the other wall. Ranger shook his head, none of us wanted to contemplate the implication of the fact that Leo was in the room with MA. Ranger gestured to us to flank the door way.

"And if you bite me, you little bitch, you won't live to regret it." Came Leo's harsh voice from the other side of the door. Frank and Stephanie gave Ranger identical looks of disbelief and defiance. There was no time for safe and secure measures. As one the father and daughter moved to the door. Frank lifted his foot and tore that bitch up off the hinges.

We moved in quickly. To provide cover and because we were all hoping to at least hit this mother fucker once. He was standing over a bound but no longer gagged MA his pants down around his knees. He whipped his head around at the sound of the door crashing in. In a turn of events that proved her to be the true Bombshell heir, MA lifted her bound hands and gave Leo a double fisted punch directly in the kibble and bits.

He screamed and folded like a house of cards. Mary Alice scrambled to her feet and started kicking him in the balls over and over. "I'm a little girl, you jerk. Little Girls are not supposed to do that. You aren't supposed to ask or even want LITTLE GIRLS to do that, you sick freak." She yelled kicking him over and over and over again. Her form was perfect, her balance good. She kept the strike long enough to hurt but short enough to make sure he would have trouble catching her leg. She'd taken her lessons to heart. I couldn't help but feel a bit proud. "My Granddaddy and Aunt Stephy and her boyfriends are gonna kick your booty." She ran around the prone figure on the floor, making sure to stay out of his reach. She flung herself at Frank who scooped her into his arms and started checking her over.

"Did he touch you, MA?" Steph asked giving the girl her own check. "Did he hurt you?"

Mary Alice might be little but she was also very smart. She knew what her aunt was asking. "No. You guys busted in when he was trying. He showed my his weeble and tried to make me put my mouth on it…but I wouldn't I wouldn't even open my mouth to scream cause I did NOT want that in my mouth."

Frank gave her a strong hug. "I saw how you hit him when we distracted him. That was good Baby Girl. I'm very proud of you. Now I'm going to give you to Hector, and he's gonna take you out to Ms. Lula. She and Ranger's sister Abegaile are gonna take you back to Rangeman, Angie and Lisa are waiting on you there with your Mom and Albert and your Granmom and Grandma Edna."

MA gave Frank a huge smile. "You're going to hurt him aren't you, Granddaddy?"

Frank nodded. "Is that ok?"

"Yeah. But Ranger and Lester and Tank and Bobby and Hector and Cal and Hal, they are all gonna want to hurt him too. If you are sending me with Hector…is he gonna miss his chance to hurt the sick freak too?" Mary Alice asked concerned.

Hector walked over and kissed MA on the cheek. "_I am sure they will save some for me, dear heart._" He said gently. Frank translated for him easily.

"Ok then. I'll go so you all can start hurting him. Hurt him good so he understands that he isn't supposed to do sex stuff with little girls." Mary Alice said sternly.

"We will Baby Girl." Frank assured her.

Hector led her from the room, speaking in soothing tones the whole way. When we heard the outer door close we turned to the lump of excrement on the floor. Steph walked over to him and squatted down next to his head. "Why, Leo?" she asked her voice strident and angry. "What kind of person kidnaps a little girl and tries to molest her? You say I should be with you. Why? You don't love me. You don't even know me. You know me even less than Joe does, and he thinks I'd be happy being a 'burg house wife. Did you honestly think I would ever agree to be with somebody who would hurt someone I care about, someone I love? You actually think I would leave men I love and respect for a horrible excuse of a thing like you. I don't like you. I don't love you…I barely even know you. And now after this I can honestly say I think I fully, truly hate you." she snarled.

Reaching out she grabbed a handful of the mutherfucker's hair and pulled his head up until he could meet her eyes. "You are just like all the Morelli men. Weak, with a warped sense of entitlement and the worse attitude ever. Usually I try to see the best in people, but since you aren't gonna live past tonight…I'll be honest with you. The best thing about you is that soon there won't be a you anymore." She didn't simply let his head drop back to the floor; no she threw it at the floor where it landed with a resounding thud.

No one turned when we heard the outer door open. We all assumed it was Hector returning. And while it was he was accompanied by an unexpected guest. "Is it true, Leo?" Mickey Morelli shouted at his son. "Never mind I can see from the fact that you're lying there with your fucking boys blowing in the breeze that it is. You worthless piece of shit. Morelli men may not have much we can be proud about but none of us are fucking pedophiles. You are no son of mine." He spat at the downed shithead on the floor.

Mickey turned to Frank. "I am so sorry, Frankie, I had no idea he was up to anything like this down here. Hell for the last few years I figured he was one of those queers. Would have been better if he had been. I know I don't deserve to ask you any favors, but can you not kill him here. It'd be really hard to sell the place if we have to say somebody died here."

Frank nodded. "Just go back up stairs. Let Loretta know he son is dead. If she asks her who did it? Tell her it was me."

"Daddy, no!" Beautiful cried out.

"Shush Pumpkin." Frank said over his shoulder. "You tell her I did it, and you tell her that he deserved it. I won't do a minute's time. Cause Mickey…I have to tell you, your son committed suicide this afternoon when he kidnapped my granddaughter."

Mickey Morelli nodded. "Yes...yeah he did. But I tell you Frank, that thing over there isn't any child of mine."

Mickey Morelli headed upstairs. "Huh, there actually is one good Morelli." Bobby blurted.

"There's an exception to every rule." I replied. "But then again maybe he's a pig in the poke? It would be funny if one of those abused Morelli wives had stepped outside her marriage and given her husband a child born of someone else."

Frank and Ranger exchanged looks. "They always like this, son?"

Ranger shrugged. "Sometimes Stephanie joins them." He said simply.

Frank nodded. "Ahh, so sometime they are worse."

That was the last moments of brevity. Together the nine of us spent the next hour bringing Leo Morelli as close to death as we could without actually killing him. We dragged him out of his parent's house, and the cleaners moved in. We took him to TPD along with his cousin, who apparently had to be tazed a few more times by Zero during the wait.

Stephanie wouldn't leave until he was booked and in a cell. Of course, he had to be rushed to St. Francis during the night. In such a public hospital, accidents often occur. At some point during his wait for a surgical bay in the secure ward at St. Francis his machines were all unplugged. Before he could be taken into surgery, Leo Morelli coded and died.

Detective Joseph Morelli was in quite a bit of trouble himself. He was being reprimanded for disobeying a direct order. And there was an investigation being brought to find out how he was accepted into the police academy with a Dishonorable Discharge. After all statements were taken, there was even talk of arresting Bella Morelli for obstruction of justice. But the 'burg had a better punishment planned for the Morelli family.

By the time we got back to Haywood, we were met by the Plums, the Kloughns, and the Manosos and Santoses.

One look at my mom and Tante Lucia and Tio Cardo, and I knew that they knew. A glance at Junior and I knew who had let the cat out of the bag as well. "Mami, Tante…Tio, it was good of you to come to help search." I said as I made my way to kiss my mother and aunt. "But we found the little girl, she's back in the loving bosom of her family. So I'm sorry you came all this long way for nothing."

"Not for nothing Nino…it is never nothing to see my son and my nephew. It is not for nothing to hear that my nino and my favorite sobrino have found love." My mother said a lot too calmly.

"Oh but my Hermana, you forget to say that they have found love with the same woman." Tante Lucia added caustically. "A woman that have hidden from the loving bosom of their family."

^Oh Shit!^


	19. Confronting Mothers

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** Yes Spanish is still English in Italics. I cannot speak it, nor write it, so I won't torture you with any attempts.  
><strong>Please take a moment and Check out My new Community: MORELLI BASHERS ANONYMOUS <strong>

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

* * *

><p><strong>CHAPTER 19<br>Stephanie PoV  
><strong>I knew it. I knew it was a sin to sleep with seven men at the same time. Even if we love each other completely. I knew that God doesn't like it when you play married without actually being married. But I thought I could have my happy here and pay for it in the afterlife. I mean for them hell might actually be worth it. But no…not Stephanie Plum. Me, I get punished early. That hast to be it., I mean that is the only possible explanation for what I am facing right this second. Ok so maybe it could be punishing us for what we did to Leo Morelli…but I so seriously doubt it. That sleazebag got what he had coming to him. But I'm pretty sure that it's the whole major group love thing. Yup, that's why right this second I'm face to face with Lester and Carlos's entire family.

I'm standing there gaping like a fish, making the world's 'best' first impression, as I struggled to find something, anything to say. Before I can blurt out something to make the situation worse as always, when she is present, my grandmother does it for me. "Well this is better than one of them Spanish soap operas. Helen take the girls into the conference room before one of the Latin lovers' mothers slap the young, beautiful Anglo girl both men; cousins by blood, brothers by choice; love."

Lester and Ranger exchanged looks then looked at grandmother and then back at me. "Babe?" he asked with his eyebrow at full mast.

"Your abuela watches Spanish soap operas, Beautiful?" Lester asked with a laugh.

Once again before I could answer, Grandma Edna spoke up. "Well you almost have to; what with the way they are canceling all the American ones. I watched the Guiding Light for over fifty five years. Then boom, it's gone." Grandma complained. "Now they've gone and gotten rid of Susan Lucci too. You tell me what's an old broad supposed to do without her stories?"

"I, too, miss the drama of All My Children," came a melodious voice from behind the wall of parental disapproval. Out stepped this gorgeous older Spanish woman with long, perfectly silver hair braided down her back. She looked to be near Grandma's age, but she could only be called statuesque. She was almost my height with a ramrod straight, very regal bearing that made her seem even taller. Age had, perhaps wisely, been too chickenshit to ravage this woman though her face was lined, she still seemed to be the most beautiful woman to ever exist. Helen of Troy ain't got nothing on her.

Looking at her, she was the reason that her grandsons made women walk into walls. And she was smiling at me. "I am Isabella Marisol Estrella Ramos-Medeiros. You must forgive my daughters." She said kindly before continuing her voice growing stern. "I believe that they have forgotten that my family owes you a debt of gratitude that can never be repaid. You found and you saved my great-granddaughter. You cleared my grandson's good name. You have also helped to beat back the darkness that was beginning to take root in his soul. You have shown he and his hermanos that there is still beauty and light in a world where they see so much more darkness than most of us ever confront. Thank you, Estefania."

"No, thank you. Senora Mederios." Ha take that Mr. Halleren, my high school Spanish teacher thought I didn't learn anything. "Maybe I found Julie, but I didn't do anything anyone else wouldn't have. She is just a little girl. Besides, Julie saved my life and Ranger and Lester have saved me a thousand times over."

"Abuela." Ranger said his voice low and calm. "Stephanie and her family have had a very trying night. Perhaps everyone would be better served by us meeting again at a later date.

"Carlos," she responded in the exact same tone. "You have had your opportunities to orchestrate this meeting in the manner you could control…instead you allowed yourself to be blackmailed by Guilermo and Abegaile. So we will meet your lovely 'Babe', her family, and we will all understand this 'arrangement; you are a part of before we leave here tonight." It's funny but she could not have worried me more if she had yelled and made big hand gestures… or had a vision of me being dead and buried.

Obviously she didn't have the same effect on Valerie. "Good, maybe somebody will finally call Heffy Stephie out for being a huge slut. Taking up with all these 'men'. For God's sake, Stephanie…two of them are brothers, or cousins or something." She groused struggling to her feet.

Isabella looked her up and down, giving her a look usually reserved for me when I'm covered in something gross and run across Angela or Bella Morelli. I'm pretty sure that St. Valerie has never found herself on the receiving end of that look before in her entire life. It was a look of abject disgust and complete and total disapproval. For some reason, it warmed the cockles of my heart. Huh…what are cockles, and if they are in the heart, why are they cold. Oh well never mind. I just loved that Val was getting that look from Ranger and Lester's grandmother. "You stand there, heavy with the child of a man not your husband, and call your sister a slut?" she asked calmly. "It must gall you to know that the very blood of the nina you carry within you is not only doubly cursed…but that someone of the blood chose to harm your other daughter. It is well that he is dead. He was loco to a level outside the realm of redemption."

Valerie started to stammer out an excuse, or another attempt to convince us all that Albert was the baby's father, but Senora Mederios turned to my mother. Valerie dismissed from her thoughts. "You may release the infant from the curse since she shares your blood. But do not worry; the rest of that blood line shall know no peace until they have made their request for forgiveness."

"Hey, Izzy B…" Grandma spoke up. "You said the Morellis are twice cursed?"

"I see a very old curse, passed down for more than three hundred years through that bloodline, touching on each of them and those they marry. It is quite strange. The power behind the curse feels familiar. I would almost say they were cursed by one of my own blood…but it has been carried for centuries, so I cannot know." The regal lady said giving my grandmother a wry smile. "Is your granddaughter as irreverent as you?"

"Oh no…she still tries to be nice and respectful to people. Whether they deserve it or not. Once she finally gets over that, she'll do alright." Edna Mazur rebutted.

"Aww…but is that not part of her light? Part of what draws these men to her? Part of what makes them love her? Perhaps this is one way the world should change, not Estefania."

"Mama…you speak as if you approve of this…this"

"Careful Mami." Lester chided. "She is the woman that I love. She is the woman that Carlos loves. Do not say anything that you will later regret."

"Si Jacinta." Senora Mederios said with a chiding smile. "You will remember when you brought Cayo home for the first time. I remember it well. Your father thought that he was a worthless pendeho. Good only for his looks and smooth tongue. It took you years to forgive your father his words. Carlos and Lester are not little boys who need protection they are far older than you were. You were an adult and had the right to make your choice. They too have earned their choice."

"But to share a woman with some many men. It is against nature, it is against God." Ranger's mother said angrily.

My mother stood up and laughed. "No…what is against nature is what some bastard tried to do to my granddaughter tonight. Stephanie and her men are as natural together as you and your husband, or me and mine. If God didn't want this, then he would have made my baby more like me than my mother and my aunt." She defended me. She threw Ranger a look. "Is there a place where I may speak with your mother and your aunt? Perhaps if they understand more about Stephanie…" she reasoned.

Grandma just laughed. "You tell them Helen. Maybe once they realize that my baby granddaughter would put any one man into an early grave, like I did your poor father, they'll back off and lighten up."

Both Jacinta Santos and Lucia Manoso gasped. "What do you mean, and early grave?" they asked as one.

Mother sighed. "Angie, take your sisters into the conference room. And no matter what Mary Alice, no listening at the door." When the girls left Mom set about airing our family's dirty laundry. She explained, as though there were and actual medical diagnosis, and we all let her; that I have a physiological condition, hypersexuality. "It's a condition meaning that her sex drive is high enough to cause physical harm to any single male. For years she dealt with it using a mixture of repression and replacement therapy, but sugar, her replacement, is capable of causing health problems of its own." She finally finished. You know she almost had me believing that I legitimately needed seven lovers and simply wasn't the greediest woman on planet earth. Even so I was still so embarrassed I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole.

Ranger's grandmother simply smiled at me again. as if to say…I know what she is doing, and it amuses me. But both mothers and Ranger's father were looking at me as though I were a cancer patient. Finally Canto Manoso, well Ricardo Carlos Manoso Sr. spoke up. "There, you are satisfied. God created Estefania just for our boys and their brothers at arms. Only she could deal with them and only they can be enough for her. It's settled. Now let them go home. It has been a trying night for their family and there are three little mijas who need to be put to bed."

"But Canto." Jacinta started.

"No. Carlos and Lester are grown men. They have made their choice. Their choice has saved one of my granddaughters. She is a beautiful young woman, and she will give them fine sons." He said firmly.

Ranger's mother looked elated when he said that. "But how will we know whose child she carries."

Finally I spoke up. "You won't. Unless the baby is completely white, there is no way to know who the father would be, and none of them will treat the child any different. Boy or girl, brown, black , or white, that baby will have a mother, seven fathers, and more grandparents, aunts and uncles than he, she or they can count."

"And that's exactly how we want it." Ranger said authoritatively. "Mami, Pop…this makes sense for us. You do not have to be happy about it. You don't even have to support us, but you will respect us."

Canto nodded. "Of course, hijo. Your Estefania is our family. We may argue and we may fuss…but we always respect our family." his words were strong and true, but something in his tone told me that he was saying it for the benefit of the women beside him more than for his son and nephew. "Your hermanos have been our family for many years, their children would have been our grandchildren no matter who the mother." He said calmly.

Senora Mederios just laughed. "My dear hijas, you will come to love Estefania as much as the rest of us. Simply give it time. And take the sticks out of your culos. I told you when the Lester was born that those two would live life closer than you could imagine." She teased. "Maybe now you will believe me when I tell you something so deeply profound."

And with that she began to herd her family out and away, pausing to speak with Grandma and my mother. She smiled and whispered something in Daddy's ear that made the largest smile I've ever seen cross his face. We didn't make it back to our house that night choosing instead to catch some much needed sleep upstairs on seven. Three of the Merry Men escorted Albert and the girls and their mother home, while Mom and Dad had one on them and Grandma picked Junior for her escort. She said that he needed to learn how to keep his mouth shut. That night the love we made was fierce and passionate. It was almost violent in its intensity. We passed out one by one wrapped in each other's arms.

**Bobby PoV**

A week passed before Stephanie came to me to tell me that she was serious the night of MA's kidnapping. She wanted to have her Mirena removed as soon as possible. However she didn't want to return to her normal OBGyn since he'd been so against putting the stupid device in in the first place.

"Well, Bomber…let me look into it. I can find you another gynecologist to remove it. or if you trust me, I took a rotation on OB medicine during my training. I could take it out for you." I suggested.

"You, Bobby…I've got enough people in the know about this. I'd like to keep it as quiet as I can. Besides, I'd like to…surprise, I guess…the rest of the guys." She said with a dirty little smile. "Lula and I found this stuff at GNC that if I drink it every day it is guaranteed to undo the damage wrought by years of contraceptive use."

I gave her a searching look. "You've only been on the Mirena for six months." I pointed out.

Stephanie gave a little shrug. "Yeah, but I've been on the pill off and on since I was eighteen. So I figure that a little repair couldn't hurt."

I guess I could see her point. "When do you want to get rid of the IUD?"

"How soon can you do it?" she asked me in return.

I gave her a laughing smile. "I ordered the materials to remove it when your father first made his request."

"You were that sure that I would say yes…what if I'd decided to go the surrogate route?" she chuckled.

"I know how much you love your father. I know how very seldom he asks anything at all of you. And Baby…I know you and the wonderful caring, loving heart you possess." I shrugged. "Besides, better to have and not need than need and not have." I quoted.

"What is that the Rangeman motto?" she teased before coming over and giving me a sweet kiss.

"No it's my personal motto. Always has been and has just become more important since that first 'renovation' job." I said before deepening the kiss. Before we could get swept away, I reigned myself in and went back into doctor mode. "I have some Tylenol or Aleve you can take and if you'll just come back in two to three hours, we'll see about rendering you a fertile Myrtle again."

"Ok. While I wait for it to kick in I can go and bring in Hannigan. He's due by the end of the week, or we forfeit the bond." She told me with a smile. I passed her three of the little blue pills, and a small cup of water.

"What's he charged with?" I asked curiously.

"Public indecency, public drunkenness, lewd and lascivious…basically all the misdemeanors you can throw at somebody who got drunk, and stripped down to his birthday suit in front of a church holding their annual Easter egg hunt." Stephanie said her blue eyes bright with laughter. "He was so drunk he didn't even realize that it was Good Friday."

"That's pretty fucked up." I laughed, giving her another hug after she took the medicine. After she left I immediately got on line and read up on the proper steps for the removal as well as watching several training videos. She returned in at a little over two hours and we removed it with no difficulties. "Now baby…here's the bad news…no sex for at least twenty-four hours."

She shrugged. "Considering how my hoo-hah feels right now…I think I'd rather have some donuts or a box of tasty cakes anyway." She wrapped her arms tightly around her abdomen.

"Shit Stephanie…I'm so sorry baby." I grabbed some T3 and led her upstairs. I helped her to take a long hot shower and take one of the pills. Helping her into the bed, I headed back downstairs to the infirmary. With a sudden thought, I turned to Stephanie's office.

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><p>I'm trying to get back into the swing of writing. I know it's been a while, and hopefully you will review and help me get my stories completed. Have a great day.<p> 


	20. The Pleasure Palace is Complete

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** Yes Spanish is still English in Italics. I cannot speak it, nor write it, so I won't torture you with any attempts.  
><strong>Please take a moment and Check out My new Yahoo Group: Illy &amp; Anni the link is available on my profile. <strong>

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it.

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 20<br>**_Stephanie PoV_

I awoke the next morning craving a donut and some pain relief. The pain was considerably closer to fine than it was when I'd gone to sleep, but it still begged for a couple of Tylenol. After taking care of those needs, I rode over to check in with my parents. I expected to find my mother ironing socks courtesy of the burg grapevine. But instead all was quiet. She sat me down and made me some of the reproductive health tea that I had brought over to show her, and accidentally left behind. Thank God I had more; I've been through three boxes since I made my decision. The stuff tasted amazing. She told me that Mary Alice and Angie had finally gone back to school after the incident a week ago, once all the adults involved were sure that the grapevine was leaving them out of everything. In fact there didn't seem to be anything at all on the radar about my family. The only thing on the lips of the burg seemed to be the reason Joe Morelli got sent home from the Navy early. Or that is what I thought.

As I was heading to my car after Mom had fed me up on some of her homemade coffee cake, Mrs. Donmiachi from the next house over came up to me. "Good Morning, Stephanie. You are looking very well."

"Good Morning Mrs. Donmiachi. How are you?" I returned politely as I could. I quickly put a burg smile on my face and hoped for the best.

"I'm as well as can be expected at my age. But dear, I know that you have a lot of running around to do, bringing those heathens back into police station." Wow…she is the only lady in this neighborhood who doesn't make it sound like a bad thing. "I won't keep you long. I simply wanted to ask if, well, if what every one is saying about that dead Morelli boy is true. Did he really kidnap a little girl and was trying to force himself on her?"

I nodded. I didn't want to say more. It was a barely kept secret as to the identity of the child in question. The newspapers couldn't print a juvenile's name, so Mary Alice had been protected from that angle. "Yes. He was incarcerated, but died in custody."

"Good." Ms. Donmiachi snarled and spat on the ground. The only time a nice 'burg lady spat was when cursing the name of someone they felt truly vile. "It's being said that Bella was singularly unhelpful." She inquired.

"That is a nice way to say it. If I had to say it, I'd probably use a lot of words that would make you send me directly to Father Mulkahey for a dozen Hail Marys." I told her honestly.

"In some situations, even a lady must use profanity. Anyone who would halt others attempting to assist in the recovery of a lost lamb, before harm could be done to her…well that person is truly not worthy of the title human, much less lady." She shivered in disgust. "Will Bella be charged?" She finally asked.

"I'm not really sure. That's gonna be up to the police department." I shrugged.

"Well don't you worry; the universe has a habit of making sure people get exactly what they deserve. That's why even if your cars do have an unfortunate tendency to explode; you are never inside them when they do." She turned and walked back into her yard before I managed to pick my jaw up off the floor.

"Thank you, Mrs. Donmiachi." I yelled at her back she turned and gave me a nice smile, and headed inside.

I couldn't even be anything but rather proud of the fact that one of the burgiest of burg women seemed to think that it was a good thing that I'd never been blown up. If I was walking with a little more swing to my step, well that was nobody's business but my own. I headed across town to the bond's office. If there was more gossip going around than my mother had heard, Connie would know it.

I parked outside the office and for once in my life the parking gods were smiling upon me. Probably because I'm in my Rangeman vehicle, but I'll take whatever parking joy I can get. I walked in to find Connie at her desk painting her nails a great chocolate color. "Connie thanks again for getting your uncle and his boys out there the other night." I said after appropriately complimenting her nails.

"Not a problem Steph. How is MA doing?" she asked her voice ringing with concern.

"She's doing, heck, she's doing great. She finally went back to school. She and Angie spent a few days chilling with Albert at his office. Neither of them really want to be around Val much. Thankfully Lisa is too little to know what's going on. We just wanted to give them some insulation in case her name hit the grapevine." I chuckled. "She seems to kind of be more concerned if she can call Ranger's grandmother Izzy B like Grandma does. I think MA bounced back quicker than all the rest of us."

"Well she looks like you…now apparently she bounces back like you too. While most of us are still in the 'Oh my God Stephanie are you sure you're okay' stage, you're usually ready to go after the next jackass." Connie chuckled.

I just shook my head and let her think that. I knew that there were many nights after I'd survived something horrible that I'd cried myself to sleep. I'd have to spend some time with MA and make sure that she isn't completely like me. "So, what's going on? My parents haven't been getting any extra calls, Albert's not been besieged by 'burgers who just have to have his 'expert' legal advice…so what's up?"

Connie gave me a little smirk. "My uncle Jimmy put the fear of _the family_ into every non Rangeman, non Plum there that night. No one is to tell who the child was…if they do…they'll get a visit and they better hope that Uncle Jimmy sends the boys. She should be completely safe."

I couldn't help but get a little choked up. Before I could find voice to thank her, Vinnie came out of his office. "Steph…Val's girl…you sure she's okay?" he asked quietly. Connie started carefully looking for bugs.

I looked at my pervert of a cousin and saw actual concern in his face. "Yeah, Vinnie. We got to her before she could be really hurt."

"Thank God." He said crossing himself. I haven't seen Vinnie cross himself since his first communion. "I'm glad that the bastard is dead." He snarled. "I may be a perve and all…but it takes a truly sick mutherfucker to touch a child."

Yeah even a duck fucker like Vinnie has his standards. "Wait…Leo's dead?" I asked. The orders for all Rangeman…deny, deny, deny.

Vinnie smiled at me in a way that reminded me of a predator for some reason. I could tell he knew the truth, but for family…he'd pretend. "It seems that eve low level criminals hate child molesters. Somebody beat the bastard half to death before he got into lock up, and then Lonnie Johnson over heard one of the cops mention that he'd been stalking you and kidnapped and molested some kid trying to make you trade yourself for the kid…he decided that we might be willing to look the other way next time he jumps so he beat him some more."

I couldn't help the shocked look on my face. "Really?"

"No." Vinnie scoffed. "You and I both know that Lonnie's got too good a heart to beat someone he doesn't know to death. But that's what he's telling anybody who'll listen. He's going up for twenty no matter what. He's hoping that his story will buy him some cred."

I nodded and made note to tell Ranger and the guys about it. I know Hector has a few connections on the inside…maybe we can help Lonnie. He'll not do well in prison without help. Heck I'm not even sure it should be illegal to beat the ass of the man you find schtupping your wife in your bed. I said as much to Vinnie.

"That is the ultimate in disrespect." He said almost sadly. "I'm no saint, but I would never, ever take any one to Lucille's home. I have too much respect for her to ever take a whore like Joyce to my home. Hell, I don't respect Joyce enough to take her to a hotel."

I laughed. "How the hell can you even touch that? I wouldn't touch her with…well usually I'd say with your dick, but hell, you do it all the time."

Vinnie laughed. "Always with a condom and it's actually your fault." He said with a wry grin.

"I know you didn't just blame me for you fucking Joyce Barnyard." I said the rhino starting to paw at the ground.

The smirk on Vinnie's face was more than a little disturbing. "Oh you have no idea. But I'd never have looked twice at her…too indiscreet. But then she decided to mess with my cousin's husband…in my cousin's home nonetheless.

"So, what you fucked her to get revenge for me?" I said doubtfully.

"There is now a whole website dedicated to Joyce BarnYard." Vinnie chortled. "She'd gone from being the 'burg whore, to the world's whore. At one time you'd never heard of her with animals…you'd never heard of her doing big groups. Her reputation wasn't good…but it didn't get truly nasty until after the Dick."

I thought about it for a minute. He was telling the truth. Joyce was known as a good time girl, but there were still a few men willing to marry her. Now most women in the burg crossed the street to avoid her and most of her lovers won't acknowledge her existence in the real world. I, personally, have hated her since elementary school, but most people used to like her. She was one of the popular people in high school, cheerleader and everything. But since my divorce…I'd dragged her through the mud as much as I did Dickie, but that still didn't account for her total fall from grace. Her interactions with Vinnie, however, did. "SO you ruined her because she disrespected me?"

Vinnie nodded, then shook his head. "Well, it started out that way…then it just became really fucking funny to see how far she's willing to go to compete in a contest you have no clue is even going on. She is determined to prove that she is 'hotter' than you. Hell, the last couple of months, since you hooked up Ranger and his crew…she's finally agreed to go out to Milson Stables." He laughed nastily.

"Damn, Vinnie, Remind me to not underestimate how far you will go for family, or a laugh." I said truly surprised. "That's the sickest thing I've ever heard."

"Just wait…anyway…I've had a talk with the other bail bondsmen in the area, if a Morelli needs to get bailed out, he'll either have to call up to Princeton, or down to Philly. No one in Trenton, or Newark will touch him." He growled. "Harry and his friends say that the Morellis are no longer welcome in any of their establishments or bars."

"Man, that is truly…that's just fucking fabulous." I crowed then I did something I don't think I've done since puberty. I touched Vinnie. I just shook his hand, but in my family that was the same as a big hug and a kiss on both cheeks.

I left the office with the Rangeman files and a feeling of family where before I'd barely been willing to admit that we shared _any_ of the same genes before. I made it to my car only to hear a slightly familiar voice calling my name frantically. I heaved my purse up on my shoulder and turned to say hello to Mr. Tucci, my tenth grade English teacher. He pulled me back on to the sidewalk, almost dragging me away from my car. "You should call your gentleman, the big one with the security firm, and perhaps the police as well. I saw that degenerate Michael Morelli scrambling from under that car when I turned the corner. Now since that boy didn't even take shop I somehow doubt that he has become a roving mechanic."

"Yeah…not sure Mooch even has a job right now." I muttered. As I hit speed dial number one.

"Yo."

"Yo, yourself." I threw back with a grin. "I'm standing outside Vinnie's with Mr. Tucci, my former English teacher, and he had something very interesting to tell me."

"He tell you he's still angry at the way you butcher the English language?" Ranger quipped.

"In all likelihood, yes, he may well be. But no. it would seem that Michael Morelli…aka Mooch, was scrambling out from under my car a few moments ago." I told him.

"Good news, Babe, Mooch Morelli wouldn't be able to make a bomb with a manual and trained assistance. Bad news, even an idiot Morelli can cut a break line." He said quietly. "I'll send Lester over with a new vehicle. Al can have it towed to his shop and we'll lift prints and make whatever repairs need to be made there."

"I'll wait here." I muttered into the empty line. "Mr. Tucci, think you can teach a bunch of ex-military types good phone etiquette?" I asked with a laugh.

"I taught you to write a cogent essay." He said proudly. Yeah, he probably should be kind of proud of that.

"Thank you for the warning, Mr. Tucci." I told him honestly. "I didn't think you liked me all that much."

"You were a very irritating pupil. You had a great brain that you seemed content to sit on. You were constantly talking in class, extremely unconcerned with the relevant course material." He shook his head. "But have proven that you can utilize your mind, you are capable and caring. You are doing a job that few can, or would. My brother was a member of the NYPD, he was shot and killed in the line of duty by some nogoodnik who was out on bail but didn't want to reenter the system. A skip, I believe Frank says you call them."

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Mr. Tucci." I said compassionately.

"It was a long time ago, my dear. I only mention it to commend you for the job you and your gentlemen do." He told me kindly.

"You should stay and meet Ranger. The way I see it, he and Tank owe you big time for that whole 'cogent essay' thing…they have to read my action reports." We were still sharing a laugh at that when Lester showed up with both Tank and Ranger. "I thought you were just going to send a car by Lester." I teased.

"Babe." Ranger said eloquently.

"Translating Ranger into English for our esteemed guest…Mr. Tucci, that one word can mean a multitude of different things. In this case, I believe that it means either 'I wanted to meet the poor man someone forced to try to fix your syntax and speaking choices, or I wanted to make sure that you really were alright'."

"In this case, it meant both." Ranger said with a shadow of a grin. "Mr. Tucci, I am Ricardo Carlos Manoso, Ranger, this is my partner and second in command Tank Thomas, allow us to both offer our thanks for not allowing Stephanie to enter the vehicle. If you ever need anything, feel free to call upon either of us at Rangeman."

Mr. Tucci smiled and shook Ranger's hand. "I worked too hard to teach Ms. Plum the difference between Jersey speech and English to let it go to waste at the hands of Michael Morelli." Some unknown understanding passed between the two men. "Besides, I'd have been forced to allow Frank Plum to win at poker for years if I'd not done anything to stop undue harm from befalling his 'Pumpkin'."

Ranger nodded with a small, wry smile. Lester came over, having finished checking the car over, with Al's help. Ok so Lester let Al look the car over while he stood there watching out to make sure that there would be nothing interrupting the mechanic in his work. "Not sure if he meant to cut the break line, but it's intact. What he did do was punch a hole in the fuel line. Possibly he was hoping to catch Beautiful somewhere less visible." Lester's voice was strained with the anger they were all feeling. But Lester is better able to shake off anger and find his happy place. Which is apparently to top floor of our new home. "You tell her the good news yet?"

"Good news…related to me?" I asked curiously…okay nosily. "I like good news."

"Yes, Little Girl, related to you. All of us really." Tank laughed.

Ranger leaned down to whisper close to my ear. "The mattress and box spring are being installed as we speak. By close of business today, the top floor will finally be complete."

The smiles on our four faces spoke volumes. I was as happy as I could ever remember being. "That is good news. We should do something to celebrate. Let's go get donuts."

The three of my Justice League who were present exchanged long looks. "This is bigger than donuts, Babe."

"If I call Mom now, I could probably get her to bake us a pineapple upside down cake." I suggested.

"Bigger than pineapple upside down cake, Beautiful."

I looked suitably aghast and offended. "There is nothing bigger than Pineapple Upside Down cake."

Tank threw back his head and treated us all to his booming laughter. "Well, we'll just have to show you how we celebrate. Dinner, and dancing…be ready at seven." He said still chuckling.

"Oh crap, I forgot to tell Connie." I groaned. "Thanks for the head's up Mr. Tucci, have a great day." I said quickly as I hurried back into the bonds office. "Lula has a date with Ram." I blurted.

Connie looked up in shock. You mean to tell me that she's hooking up with one of 'those fine Rangemen'…and she didn't even have the courtesy to call and tell me. Just wait 'til I get my hands on her."

"Yeah, yeah…so that must mean that she knows that Guillermo asked you out, just the two of you?" I taunted.

"How did you know about that?" Connie groaned. "I was going to tell you two. I mean I need to hit the mall in the worse way. So I was going to tell yous guys…but I was just kind of savoring it."

I nodded. I could certainly understand that. Unfortunately I rarely got to savor good things. Half the time other people seem to know before I do, and the other half I blurt out as soon as I see another human being. "Lula and I will meet you here at two. We'll help you find something gorgeous… and you will help me keep Lula away from any color in the neon spectrum."

"You two have the infinitely easier job." Connie laughed.

Tank walked in laughing still at my antics. "If you're going to the mall, give Hector the heads up. He wants to take you salsa dancing tonight…he wants to help you find something calenté to wear tonight." He teased. "Though if he knows that it's all three of you going, he may decide to stay home or tag along with Ram instead. You plus Lula plus mall scares the crap out of him, Baby."

"Gotta love how all the big strong mercenaries and the guy with the tear tattoos on his cheek are scared of a little shopping." Connie taunted. "I hope your enemies never realize that the real key to defeating the Merry Men is to have the battle in the mall."

"Uh huh…Betty Boop's got jokes…who knew." Tank threw back.

My, oh so mature, friend rebutted with an Italian hand gesture that made Tank start to laugh anew. I watched through Vinnie's front window as they loaded my Rangeman issue ford escape onto Al's tow truck. The stream of gas coming from the fuel line puncture was so small it was barely noticeable, but for some reason I couldn't help but watch it flow across the busy street to the storm drain on the other side. The same storm drain that the miscellaneous cigarette smoking man just threw his butt, his still lit butt, into. 'Tank, Shit!" I grabbed my phone and called Ranger.

"Yo."

"Get down!" I yelled into the receiver even as I dragged Tank and Connie to the back, kicked Vinnie's door open. We'd just managed to close the stupid thing behind us when…BOOM!

_**Ranger PoV**_

I watched Al and Lester get Babe's car loaded onto the truck, relieved that for once this one just needed a simple repair as I listened to her former teacher telling me of a time when Stephanie and, her partner in crime, Mary Lou had switched the tape his substitute was supposed to play in his absence for a tape of In Living Color episodes that Stephanie had wanted to watch despite her mother's edict that the show was disgusting; when my phone rang. "Yo." I uttered, a little surprised that she'd be calling me when she could have just as easily stuck her head out the door.

"Get down!" she yelled down the line. Surveying the street, I quickly saw the danger. "Santos, Al, incoming." I yelled as I grabbed Mr. Tucci and dragged him into the recesses of the alley and out of harm's way. We managed to turn the corner behind the building before the car went up taking Al's truck with it. Pieces of the cars took out Vinnie's front window, the front window of the bookstore next door and the empty storefront that used to house the dry cleaners Babe worked at for a hot minute.

"You do lead an interesting life, don't you?" Mr. Tucci asked quietly. I headed back out to assess what, if any physical damage had been done to the persons under my care. Stephanie was standing next to Tank, stridently arguing blame with her cousin. Connie had wandered over to look out of the empty pane to see the destruction for herself. My own cousin was followed by Al as they exited another alley further up the street. Everyone had remained unscathed.

Trenton PD arrived on the scene as quickly as they usually do when they think it concerns my Babe, as did fire and rescue. Garazza and Russell were the first responders from TPD. "Everyone okay?" he asked peering into Vinnie's. He looked relieved when he saw that Babe was whole and hardy. He may not be her cousin by blood, but it was obvious to all that he cared for her like family.

"Yes." I said succinctly. "A man smoking a cigarette decided to drop his butt into the exact wrong place. The vehicle only caught fire because Mooch Morelli had decided to put a hole in Babe's fuel line."

"Damn. I didn't think Mooch could find an engine block with a map and a mechanic standing next to him pointing at it." Garazza pointed out. He turned to Robin. "Call in a APB for Michael Anthony Morelli, age 31 height 6 foot, weight, probably two…two twenty-five. Tell 'em to check the other Morelli homes first. Especially Joe's since he's still in lockup until he can make bail."

"Hell will freeze over before anyone named Morelli will find a bail bondsman willing to write them a bond in this town." Vinnie snarled as he came through the hole where his front window used to be. He turned and helped Connie out while Tank Carried Babe over the mess of glass and car parts. "And Mooch better hope the cops or Rangeman get to him before Harry sends his guys after him."

I buried a smile at that thought; only a son in law would be more afraid of Harry the Hammer than of me. I took a look around and was glad to see that the SUVs that Tank and I and Lester had driven over in were still all in one piece. I watched as my Babe looked over Lester to make sure that he was ok. I didn't show it, but watching her hands running over his body affected me as much here in the broad daylight in the middle of a public thoroughfare as it does in the privacy of our home. In fact, it was only made worse by the fact that last night Stephanie had slept in the apartment on seven for some medical reason that Brown refused to go into. She turned in my direction, and I knew that if she touched me, I would take her here and now no matter who was watching. I doubted even Tank would be able to stop me, and I know Lester would simply join in. Before she could reach me, I spoke up. Lester, get Stephanie back to Haywood. Tank, you're with me. Babe, if you go back out, take a man or two with you."

Stephanie, however, was completely undeterred. She came over and carefully looked me over. Her eyes doing what she realized her hands couldn't be allowed to do. My eyes searched hers. The brilliant blue was unclouded by pain or even fear. I nodded at her unasked question. "Proud of you, Babe." The smile that lit her face was every bit as beautiful as any I've ever seen.

"I was so completely aware of my surroundings." She said brimming with pride.

I gave her a small smile. "Yes, yes you were." I leaned down and fused our mouths together, giving her a deep, but necessarily short kiss. "Don't go crazy." I advised with a tug on one of her curls.

"Don't get shot." She shot back. Our goodbyes said, she turned to exchange one with Tank. The kiss they shared was no less intense, their words no less profound, just different.

As Tank and I headed to our truck, I heard Robin Russell ask Stephanie, "I want one. No really do I need to ask Santa, is there some kind of raffle, a lottery?"

Tank and I exchanged looks. "I'd be offended…but Russell probably has the same problem Little Girl has finding a decent guy around here. They either want to change her or they full on want to oppress her. I swear, not only is Trenton a cesspool, it's a cesspool with attitudes that are over half a century out of date."

I couldn't help but agree with him. Sometime I think the closest the 'burg men come to enlightenment are Eddie Garazza and my quasi father in law. Speaking of Frank Plum. "Think Frank would want in on this Morelli hunt?"

"We should ask…it's only considerate." Tank laughed.

Even as I reached for my cell phone to make the call, it rang. "Sir." I answered after reading the display.

"Is my daughter ok?" he asked succinctly.

"Yes sir. She saw what was about to happen and saved herself and others including me and her old teacher." I answered proudly.

"That's my girl." He crowed. "You know who did it?"

"Michael Morelli." I answered.

"Mooch wouldn't know how to plant a bomb. That idiot can barely tell his ass from a hole in the ground." He scoffed. I explained the morning's events and he could only chuckle. "When it comes to cars and fire, if it weren't for bad luck, my daughter wouldn't have any luck at all."

"We're going hunting for Mooch…you want in?" I asked silently agreeing with him.

Frank laughed darkly. "Of course I want in. Be ready in ten." He said hanging up without signing off. I think I corrupted Babe's dad.

"Little Girl's not gonna like how you're corrupting her daddy." Tank laughed.

"Maybe not…but something tells me that Frank was corrupted before we were even potty trained." I laughed.

We pulled up in front of the Plum residence, and Frank joined us dressed much as he had been the night of Leo Morelli's 'unfortunate' suicide. "He's at the lodge. Mickey called me. Apparently he's trying to get Mickey to let him hide out in Leo's old cave. Mickey's gonna stall him for us." Frank smirked. "Idiot decided to brag, thought Mickey should appreciate what he did for the family. Mickey's done with his family."

I gave Tank an unnecessary nod and he pulled a u-turn heading for the center of the 'burg, the Lodge. When we pulled into the parking lot, Mickey Morelli stood there toe to toe arguing with his nephew. "You are a stupid fucker. Fucking with Stephanie Plum is bullshit. That girl hasn't done shit to our family that we didn't fucking ask for." We heard as we opened our doors.

"What the fuck are you talking about? She led Joey around by the nose for years. She hit him with a fucking car for Christ's sake. Apparently she dicked with Leo so bad she fucked him completely in la sua testa. Now it's all over the burg that Leo was some kind of child molesting freak and Joey is an omosessuale. Grandma Bella can't even leave her house. She went to the grocery store and no one would speak to her. They wouldn't even let her buy her food. All because of Stephanie 'thinks she's the second damn coming' Plum." Mooch yelled back. The fool didn't even notice that we'd pulled up.

"Sounds like you have a problem with my Pumpkin, Michael…and if you have a problem with my Pumpkin…you have a very big problem indeed." Frank said his voice managing to be both calm and menacing at the same time.

"Mmmr. Plum." Mooch stuttered finally seeing Frank, Tank and I.

"Now first of all let me point out the faults in your logic, son." When it looked like Mooch might just be dumb enough to try to make a run for it, Frank materialized his gun, from somewhere even I wasn't sure where, and said in the same tone, "If you run, I will shoot you dead in your pecker. Now as I was saying let me point out the faults in your logic. Joe molested my daughter in his father's garage when he was eight. Now I suppose that one could leave that one at him being a curious kid. But what the hell could my six year old daughter have done to 'lead him around by his dick' you moron? Now if you were instead referring to the Tasty Pastry incident, well again, your cousin 'Joey' entered the premise, locked the door behind him and then proceeded to relieve my daughter of her most precious possession…on the floor. Then he got his ass up and left her there, to mop up her own blood, while he spray painted slurs to her reputation all over this fucking city. Then he left for the navy before I could get a hold of him. Apparently he's smarter than you or Leo. And speaking of Leo, he wasn't even a blip on Steph's radar. When we were going over all the names of who could have been stalking her all those years, he wasn't even on the list; he was a nonentity in her life. How exactly did she 'turn him into a child molesting freak'? Did she say hello to him? Hell to be honest with you Mooch, at first we kind of thought it was you. After all you kind of fit the 'child molesting freak' profile too." Frank said with a sneer. As for Bella, good…I hope the tired old bitch bites the big one, all alone in her house. Why? Because if she'd had her way a little girl would have been brutalized and traumatized for the rest of her life."

"My grandmother had nothing to do with what Leo was doing." Mooch shouted, spittle flying from his mouth.

"If you say so. I'm just saying that from where I was standing, two plus two are not equaling four when it comes to Bella Morelli." Frank shot back.

Mooch was chewing on his tongue he was so mad. Finally he came back with the only thing he could think of. "I notice that you didn't bother defending that she turned Joey gay."

"Dickhead. I'm her dad…that certainly isn't my place. Other than to say I don't think any one can turn some one else gay… you either are, or you aren't." he chuckled.

Tank and I laughed. "I can honestly say that if Morelli is gay…it ain't Little Girl's doing. In fact I know a gay cat who says she is the only woman he's ever wanted." Tank taunted.

Even I couldn't hold back my own smirk. "Any man lucky enough to spend even one night with Stephanie Plum would have to already been decidedly gay to go back to men." That being said I let my blank face descend. "Now you decided to fuck up her vehicle, whether you hoped for her to have an accident because her brakes were inoperable, or you were simply hoping for her to run out of gas in a less than savory environment…the simple truth is that your actions could have led to her injury, or death." I said menacingly.

Tank put his and on my shoulder looking for all the world like he was holding me back from attacking Mooch. "Boy…you have 'til the count of three to decide which of us you want to deal with."

"Mr. Plum." Mooch shouted before Tank could really finish the threat.

Mickey started laughing. "You are a dumb fuck. You should have taken one of the young bucks…war has become a lot more humane since Frank served. They'll just kill you. Frankie will make you wish you were dead first."

Frank Plum looked happier than I've ever seen him. It was actually rather chilling. Unfortunately before he could get his hands on the 'dumb fuck', Officer Gaspick pulled into the lot with his partner. Garazza pulled in moments later with Robin Russell. "Told you Uncle Frank would find Mooch before we could." Eddie laughed. "You owe me a night of babysitting Rob. You might want to wear a cup…or whatever chicks use for protection."

"Ranger, can you bring whatever you leave of him to the station when you're finished with him?" robin asked, ignoring her crowing partner.

"Now see here Officer Russell. We've arrived on the scene. There will be no vigilante justice dispensed today." Gaspick said officiously.

"Picky…if Ranger and Tank want to dispense a little vigilante justice today…are you gonna be the one to stop them?" Eddie asked after he finished laughing. Sometimes he reminds me so much of my Babe…I forget that he's only related to her by marriage.

"Now boys, Ranger and Tank have kindly agreed to step aside and allow me a father's privilege." Frank spoke up. "I'll make sure that he makes it to the Station in one piece…maybe two."

"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow that, sir." Gaspick said confidently. "It would be a dereliction of our duty to leave Mr. Morelli here where we know that he will be a victim of a violent crime."

Frank gave Tank and I a look. How he knew we were half ready to put Gaspick under his car, I'll never know. Then again he may well just have been ascribing his desired actions upon us. But in any event, he signaled us to let it go. So we did. After all we had a big night planned.

_**Stephanie PoV**_

Lester and Hector both accompanied Lula, Connie and I to the mall. Somehow Hector, using Lester as his translator, managed to talk me into letting him dress me from the skin out. The worst part was he wouldn't let me see what he was purchasing. He brought me several different dresses and had me try them all on. The same with shoes and lingerie. He was worse than David Tuttera. I needed to get my shop on in the worse way. So I made Connie allow me the same privilege. Then we convinced Lula to let us dress her. Of course the only way she would allow us to pick her clothes was that she got to go first. We found her an amazing dress in a color they called pomegranate on the tag, but it looked amazing against her skin. It had a deep but not too deep vee at front and back necklines and the hem played around her knees. The skirt was a-line and pleated; it looked great on her and was like nothing she would have picked for herself. She looked sexy and yet sweet. Granted given the size of her boobs, she could probably make a burlap sack look sexy. I swear the more weight she loses, the bigger those damn things get.

Then we went straight up sexy on her lingerie. A black lace bustier and black lace tenga panty. We left her legs bare; after all why pay so damn much for waxing just to wear stockings. Lester found her the perfect shoes, a pair of Bagley Mischka sandals with a thicker heel. They said they were watermelon, but they matched the dress perfectly. Satisfied that we had Lula looking perfect for her 'first date' with Ram, we turned our sights on Connie. It actually took a lot longer to fine her a perfect dress, mainly because Lula and I couldn't agree on anything. At least until we found a perfect one. It was a teal a-line dress, with a dance flare skirt. It was one shoulder with ruching at the waist on the opposite side. That ruching was highlighted with a diamante applique that was mirrored at the one shoulder. Her shoes were all about the diamante as well. They were six inch tall heeled sandals with a row of diamante covered flesh colored leather across the vamp and another as an ankle strap. For her lingerie, we found her a teal and black brocade corset with black lace accents and black lace boy shorts. The shorts even had teal ribbons at the front and sides…ok so the ribbons were turquoise, but that's close enough. A quick trip to Afterthoughts, and Claire's and we were set. I mean yes, I felt like I was back in high school just walking into those stores, but who wants to spend an arm and a leg on hair pins, the easiest to loose of all the accessories. We split up after lunch in the food court.

Lula and I rode with Lester back to Haywood, while Hector and his bags he refused to even let me take a peek into, took Connie back to the Bonds office. Thankfully her car had not suffered a similar fate to my own. When we got back to the office, I 'worked' until five. Yeah, I managed to get a few things done. Mostly I set up in depth searches to run while I tried to figure out which of the dresses I'd tried on Hector picked. At five I gave up trying and headed up. I ran into Lester, Hal and Cal in the hallway outside my office, "You guys couldn't wait any longer either?"

"Reservations are for seven thirty. We figured that we needed to grab you before you start whining about how we didn't give you enough time to get ready." Lester teased. He leaned over and gave me a deep, and sexy kiss.

"Don't start that." Cal said gruffly. "We're not playing until after we finish celebrating." He reminded us both. I'm not saying that the disappointed whine came from me, but probably it was too high to come from Lester or Hal. With a smile, Cal picked me up and settled me over his shoulder; he carried me down the stairs at a full run…just to prove he could. And the worst part was that he wasn't even winded. If I'd run down five flights of stairs, even just carrying my purse, I'd have been panting like a dog.

At home, the stairs to the top floor were on lockdown. Apparently my Justice League didn't trust me. which maybe they were right not to because I did try to go upstairs before I even went into my room to find out what Hector had chosen for me. A girl's got to have her priorities in order. And yet when I entered my room, I could have kicked myself for wasting time. There on the bed was a gorgeous, sexy, beautiful red dress, the skirt had a jagged handkerchief hem, the top was a halter top that would tie behind my neck leaving long thin ribbons of red to flow down my back. Between the skirt and top, the dress had a wider ruched waistband. It was amazing; Hector had only included a pair of matching boy shorts. I wondered at that but then I got distracted by the red patent leather strappy sandals with their six inch heels.

Then I saw the time and had to run for the shower. Once I'd tamed the beast that jokingly calls itself my hair, I lotioned and pampered myself a bit. I checked, and my pedicure had stood up to the week very well, so that wasn't a concern. I dressed and realized that the reason Hector hadn't included a bra wasn't the fact that he had no idea which silhouette to go with, but because with the fact that the dress barely had a back, there was no way I could wear any bra. The designer had somehow managed to build in some support for my boobs into the triangles of fabric that covered them. I headed back to the bathroom and gave my eyes a more subtle smoky look and topped my lips off with blow job red gloss. I dug out a red clutch, and threw the essentials into it. Lipstick and gloss, mascara, blotting paper, a two shot derringer, id, credit card, you know, just the necessities.

By the time I made it to the great room, the rest of the guys were there. They looked hot as hell, in an array of red shirts, ranging from blackset red for Ranger, all the way to cheery red for Lester. They were wearing black slacks and shoes that looked perfect for dancing. Hector stepped up to me and spun me in a wide circle, making my skirt flare up enticingly.

"_Can you salsa?"_ he asked.

I may not speak Spanish, but even I could figure out that question. "Yes. I took some classes in college. It was a great way for me to exercise without it feeling like exercising. I can do some other ballroom dancing too. Like you know the waltz and the tango."

"Oh yeah, Beautiful, we're gonna have us some fun tonight." Lester said as he came over and started me in the steps of the Rumba. We'd barely gone three beats into the dance, when my stomach decided to remind us all that I hadn't eaten since lunch. Ranger had once again arranged the stretch hummer for us, and we drove to a place I'd passed many times, but I'd never stopped at. Casa Bella Ristorante and Night Club featured Cuban eats around a dance floor featuring Cuban beats. My men ordered a plethora of different meals, and they took turns feeding me, introducing me to their favorites, forcing me to eat my vegetables, that I cannot even complain about because they were so damn good. I was denied dessert, something about the seven of them being all the dessert I would need tonight.

Then it was time to hit the floor. For the next two hours every dance was a tease, ever beat another moment of foreplay. Every second a test of our endurance and willpower. I broke first, taking Lester with me. "Flash, how quickly do you think you could get inside me on our new mattress?" I moaned against his ear during a close moment during a particularly sensual rumba. In that moment, he proved that I had assigned him the perfect moniker. We were out of the club and in the car in under ten minutes. Only because of Ranger's tenacity and determination that our dessert would happen in our new bed, did we make it to the bed.

Lester tends to go first, for the simple fact that he can come time after time after time. Lester is a master in the bedroom because he recharges so very quickly. He made love to me; it was fast and yet tender and gentle. I was still wearing my dress and shoes, though my poor panties were more than ruined. He nipped and sucked at my nipples through the fabric doubled semi-sheer fabric of my dress, even as he worked his hips, pistoning his cock in and out of me until I was clutching at the black and gunmetal gray of the comforter Ella had had specially made for us. My head thrown back as sounds of pleasure were drawn from my throat. There was a moment, a beat of something more powerful than even a doomsday orgasm, and I felt Lester flooding me with his cum.

He rolled to the side, and I realized that he'd gotten rid of his shirt, but his pants were still bunched around his ankles. With a giggle, I reached behind my neck and undid the double bow holding my bodice in place. After that just a quick unzip of the hidden side zipper and I stood in front of my lovers wearing only the cheery red fuck me sandals. They had taken the opportunity created by Lester's, and my own, impatience to divest themselves of their clothing. Hector came over to me and he kissed me, rolling his tongue in my mouth and making me moan and arch against him Hector may be new to the whole heterosexual sex thing, but he's already so good at it. If Lester is a flash in the pan, Hector is a long slow simmering flame. We moved against each other slowly, sensually. He spoke the most delicious sounding things against my ear. But he may have been telling me that he loved me or that he wished he could have been the one in the dress, I have no clue what he said, but it sounded amazing and it added another layer to the pleasure I was feeling. I came, slow rolling waves of pleasure that seemed to be never ending. I could feel my muscles milking, forcing him to give me what I wanted, what I needed…his pleasure.

Cal stood over me as Hector stood and moved over to cuddle with Lester. He grabbed my ankles, and spread my legs, fastening his mouth to me, and licking and suckling my pussy until I was screaming and begging and promising him all manner of things, he teased me, bringing me to the brink of orgasm over and over again before finally pushing me into my orgasm by pushing himself into me. He wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted me, bouncing me up and down on his dick, his powerful arms giving me the only support I needed. He was in complete control of my body as he took his pleasure in me. I would have screamed, as I came, overwhelmed by the pleasure and the vulnerability Cal was creating in me, I may well have, but it was swallowed by Bobby as he kissed me and ran his skilled hands over my back and ass. Cal roared out and I felt the pulses of him empting his balls inside me and squealed loud enough that it could be heard despite Bobby's soft lips fastened to mine.

Bobby, he took me from behind. He set me back on the bed, on all fours, and he entered me, taking me deeply his hands massaging my ass. He leaned forward and whispered so that only I could hear him, "You have no idea how fucking hot it is knowing that right now our cum is swimming you're your unprotected womb. That even now you could already be carrying our child." He moaned. My back arched and I came hard and fast at the thought. "That's it come for me Baby." He groaned. He made me come several more times before he finally poured himself into me.

Poor Dr. Fate. He staggered to the side, Cal reaching out to steady him. Tank had readied himself in the middle of the vast expanse of the bed. I crawled forward and slowly settled myself onto his waiting cock. Even with the four others before him, I still had to work myself down his length. He stretched me so very full. "God Little Girl. Shit. You feel so damn good." He moaned. As I slowly worked my hips up and down, I leaned forward, letting his mouth find my nipples. Wonderful, intelligent, masterful Tank, he gave me just what I needed. Sucking and nipping and biting and making me crazy. My movements sped up as he drove us both closer to pleasure's peak. I felt the most amazing sensation as Tank came with a rafter shaking roar. It felt like my whole body was on fire, I'd never felt this way before. I screamed out as the feeling spread through me. I cooled down for a long moment, laying against Tank's chest as he stroked my back. I rolled to the side this time, to find that Hal had waited as long as he could. He took me and it was a testament to how much he wanted me that night, because he was rough and quick, his hands bruising my hips and he clung to them pounding into me over and over; until we came together in an orgasm that I'm fairly certain curled my hair even more.

Ranger came to me next. His cock proud and thrusting. He knelt on the bed and pulled me into his arms. "There's something different about you tonight, Babe." he whispered. I could hear the others agreeing with him He guided me down onto him in this almost yoga like position. "Fuck, Babe. You feel so damn good." He moaned. Rather than lifting me or thrusting up, Ranger simply ground up against me; his pelvis pressing my clit, his cock stirring against my g-spot. His hands moving over me, seemingly everywhere and nowhere at the same time. My back arched over his arm, offering my tender breasts up for him to enjoy. I came, I came so many times, it was as though he was reaching for a record. Finally he came with a loud shout, and I was bathed in fire, its pleasing heat coursing through my veins. I collapsed against him sated for the moment. For a while we slept.

I awoke near dawn, and took my pleasure again, but even with Tank and Ranger I didn't have that strange fire sensation again. Though I think that the top of my head was orbiting the sun by the time they finished with me that morning.

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><p>Real Life can be so very frustrating.<p>

Thanks to all who are still Reading and Reviewing.

Have a great day,

Illiandyandra


	21. Chapter 21 Fire in My Veins

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** Yes Spanish is still English in Italics. I cannot speak it, nor write it, so I won't torture you with any attempts.  
><strong>Please take a moment and Check out My new Yahoo Group: Illy &amp; Anni the link is available on my profile. <strong>

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it. Besides, wrong as it is to beg I really, really, really, really wanna join the 500 club. If I could hit 500 reviews, I would literally and figuratively plotz.

**AN3:** To those reviewers who feel that I've made Morelli 'cartoonish' because I have him use pejorative 'terms that no one still uses,' let me say, Honey I'm black…people still use them. They use them under their breath, or when they think there aren't any black people around; they even use them about our President. It is 'cartoonish' to believe otherwise. I'm glad you don't but please believe me when I tell you that I've heard those words way more times than I would ever have thought in 2012.

Now onto the show, or fic as the case may be.

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><p><strong>CHAPTER 21<br>**_Ranger Point of View_

We awoke Stephanie several times that night filling her with our love, with our passion, with our seed. I couldn't figure out exactly what it was about her that was throwing me off. There was just something different about her. There was something significantly more intense about the way she felt cumming around me as I'd filled her that first time earlier. For a moment I was taken aback by the fact that I actually thought about having cum inside her. After the first few weeks of our relationship that freedom had receded into the back our most of our minds. We tended to concentrate more on the love and passion of our fucking. To have the lack of latex creep back into the forefront of my mind made me wonder why. Those were the thoughts that were swimming through the miasma of my mind as I fell asleep surrounded by my Babe and the men who were closer to me than anyone else other than her. As I slept I dreamed.

My dreams were filled with even more pleasure; it grew so great and so intense that it pulled me from sleep. I awoke to my Babe slowly riding my cock as her tits bounced. Tank was sitting against the headboard next to me, his hands slowly stroking his cock. "Our Little Girl saw how hard your dreams had you, and she decided to see if she could bring you as much pleasure as whatever you were dreaming of."

I slid my hands up to tease Stephanie's hard nipples. I rolled them between my fingers, allowing my fingers to bite into her sensitive nubs. "I dreamt of…" I bit back my confession. There was much I wanted to share with them, but something still held me back.

Babe looked down at me her eyes filled with love and passion. "It's okay, Ranger. You can tell us all anything at all." She said as she rose and lowered herself again. "We want to know what made you that hard."

"I was dreaming of being right where I am. Buried deep inside you." I arched up into her and growled as I felt her start to clench and cum. "That's it Babe. Cum hard." I looked around for Cal or Hector. "_One of you get behind her and lick her sexy asshole until she loses her fucking mind." _I ordered in Spanish as I thrust up into the hottest, tightest pussy it had ever been my pleasure to know.

Hector managed to get into place without her realizing it, her beautiful blue eyes had drifted shut as her pleasure over took her, but when Hector's agile tongue went to work on her ass, they shot open as she screamed out in renewed orgasm. I thrust up into her, ratcheting her pleasure, and my own, up even higher. My hands found the tips of her tits, teasing and tweaking them until she screamed. I gentled her for a long moment, allowing her to come down from her crest.

Stephanie kissed me allowing me to feel her love and passion another way, before she twisted her torso to take the head of Tank's huge cock into her beautiful mouth. It is truly sick how much I love watching my woman…our woman struggle to fit more and more of Tank's big ass cock into her tiny little mouth. He nudged me his eyes locked on the sight as well. "I don't know if it looks better or feels better. But fuck if it don't feel good." He groaned. His orgasm over came him and he flood Babe's mouth. She pulled back choking as her own desire exploded and she tried to scream and swallow at the same time. I felt my own release over take me and I joined them in the sea of bliss. As we came back to awareness, I pressed kisses to her skin wherever I could reach. She'd collapsed onto my chest as her climax left her limp and soft. I felt my softening dick slip out of her warmth, only to shiver in illicit pleasure as I felt another hard cock slide against my own as one of my brothers entered our woman.

"_Fuck Little Bomber Girl…you're so fucking hot."_ I heard Hector whimper. He leaned down and kissed her back and shoulder as he slowly brought her more and more decedent pleasure. As he was thrusting and retreating he was also rocking her clit against me. The sensations were amazing and though I was too sated to fully rise to the occasion, I reveled in the pleasure.

"Her pussy pulses like liquid fire." I murmured just loud enough for Hector to hear me. His eyes locked on mine and we could only smile a bit at the truth of the statement. Yet my own mind quickly had me reliving the strange sensation of the night before where fluid flame had roared through me as I'd poured myself into her.

Seeming to read my mind, Tank's gaze locked with mine. "You felt it to. Last night, it was like a fire storm in your blood when you came." He murmured.

I nodded. "Babe felt it to. She showed it in every line of her face as she came last night. I have never seen her so far gone into her orgasms…not even her 'doomsdays'." He and I exchanged a smile, as we thought back to all the times Steph had told us she needed a new category. It would seem that the seven of us were making 'doomsday orgasms' a regular occurrence.

"_Cum again Little Bomber Girl, I love watching you lose your head more than I ever thought possible." _Hector commanded. Babe may not have understood his words, but she got his tone well enough and I moaned as her thighs tightened on my hips and my reawakening erection was bathed in the liquid heat of our earlier coupling as it boiled back out of her around Hector's thrusting dick. He recited the catechism in the original Latin to avoid being pulled with her into that abyss. He pulled out, turned her so that her back was resting on my chest, the firm, sexy globes of her ass surrounding my cock, as he thrust into her fiercely. "_I need…I need…_" he started panting.

Lester either understood what he was asking for, or he'd reached his limit on patience. Because he moved quickly across the large expanse of mattress and lifted both of them off my chest. Before my Babe's back hit the mattress Lester was sheathing his condom clad dick in Hector's greedy ass. The pounding Lester gave Hector flowed seamlessly into the fucking Hector gave our woman. Her screams and cries of pleasure had all of us hard…even those of us who had just enjoyed the pleasure only she can bring. The seven of us spent the rest of the morning enjoying the sights and sounds and the pleasure and passion of our woman. Only allowing her a reprieve from our hunger when the growls of her 'beast' grew louder than our roars of completion.

_Stephanie Point of View_

I think I spent my entire weekend on my back…or knees, or side...oh or that one time where I was upside down with my hands braced against the floor. God was that a good time. Anyway, suffice it to say that I had a most enjoyable weekend. I even had a completely new experience. Bobby and Lester decided sometime Saturday afternoon that it was time for me to lose even my neatly trimmed pubic hair. I knew it was coming; I was a little surprised that it hadn't happened sooner. They began by drawing me a bubble bath and they had a wonderful surprise for me, the seven of them had gotten me an entire set of Bulgari Mon Jasmine Noir…it smelled amazing. The slightly floral scent didn't stop Bobby and Lester from joining me in the large sunken tub.

"Why do you have to have the water hot enough to make soup, Beautiful?" Lester asked petulantly as he sank into the deep bubbles.

Bobby reached across the tub, and smacked Lester on the back of the head. "Hot water kills germs and bacteria. If the water isn't hot, then a bath is just a broth of dirt and germs and yuck." He shivered in disgust at the thought.

"That's why you take showers." Lester retorted. "All that shit just gets washed away." He grabbed my loofa and gave it a strange look before lathering it up with some of my new shower gel. He pulled one of my legs out of the water, and started to wash it. When Hal washes me, I feel very sensual and womanly. Lester was kind of reminding me of how my mother washed me during that summer when my cast prevented me from bathing myself.

I turned to Bobby, and pointedly said "Lester is never allowed to be in charge of giving any kid a bath. I think I'm down two layers of skin."

"Oh shit, sorry Beautiful. That's how my Abuela used to wash me when I was little." He said apologetically.

"Probably because she was washing layers of dirt off your filthy ass." Bobby taunted as he snatched the loofa away from Mr. Heavy Hands. Bobby slowly stroked the loofa gently over my legs, going higher and higher on each stroke. He repeated the action on my arms, and dragged it almost teasingly over my breasts and nipples. "Our woman may be a naughty little thing, but she isn't filthy. Her skin is so soft and silky smooth, we don't want to do anything to mar it." He lectured to an unrepentant Lester. While Bobby took care of getting me clean, Lester stood and gathered the supplies they would need to do their do. Maybe I whimpered as I watched the water run down his sexy body and over his amazing ass. Maybe I moaned when he turned around and I saw his dick looking hard and ready for me. Either way, Bobby chuckled. "Our naughty woman is getting all hot and bothered by your dick, Lester. Bring it over here, let her see it up close."

"Shit she can see it, feel it…hell she'd gonna taste that mutherfucker." He whispered darkly. He sent a shiver down my spine, a shiver of pure want and need. He stalked closer, moving fluidly through the water. My mouth was open and waiting as he slid his dick inside. I moaned around him, reveling in the feel and taste of him. I sucked and stroked, twisting my hand on the upstroke and my head on the downstroke just the way Les preferred it. I was eventually rewarded with his cum splashing against my cheeks. I swallowed quickly, a little disappointed in the small amount. The disappointment disappeared with a smirk as I remembered why his balls were almost dry.

Bobby turned my head to his and kissed me deeply, fiercely. I wanted so much for him to lean me back against the tub wall and sink into me, even if I was a little sore. But Bobby had other plans. His strong hands wrapped around my waist and he lifted me out of the water, settling my on the wall and spreading my legs wide. He worked with a surgeon's precision. Lester slathered me with subtly jasmine scented shaving cream that felt sinfully good. Bobby welded a straight razor as I sat there and wondered for a moment why I hadn't run screaming from the room when he'd opened that crazy ass razor. I wasn't even holding my breath tightly and trying not to squirm. I was as relaxed as I had been in tub when he was washing my body so gently. I think I may have dozed off or zoned out because before I knew it he was gently turning me onto my belly. Lester held my bottom cheeks apart so that Bobby could work his magic there as well.

When they finished, Bobby lathered a wash cloth and cleaned my, way too sensitive for a loofa, areas. They stood and helped me fully from the tub only to lead me over to the shower. The multi-head nirvana of a shower. Unfortunately all Bobby would let me do is rinse. After our resident medical professional had ensured that I was hair, and soap free, he allowed me to return to the other room where Hal was waiting with a bottle of the matching body lotion. By the time he finished rubbing the thick cream into my skin, I felt loved, and cherished and ready to jump them all like it had been weeks since my last donut. So I did. Damn it was a great weekend. I never did experience the fire shower in my orgasm again though.

I shook off those thoughts; both positive and curious as I grabbed my box of donuts and the drink carrier of coffees, and made my way into the bonds office…there was girl talk to be had.

_Lula Point of View_

Connie and I were getting antsy waiting on my Skinny Ass White Girl. She was the one who said Friday that we'd meet up here to have our post big dates girl talk, not her ass is running late. Granted she may still be chained to that big ass bed she told us about. So strictly speaking it probably wasn't her fault. Then again…it never is. I chuckled to myself. Thankfully before Connie could ask me why I was laughing like a hyena when we hadn't said anything since she lost the rock paper scissors game we played to see who got to tell all about their date, Stephanie finally rolled in glowing like she was the fricking sun.

"Well, well, well…look what the cat dragged in." I teased. "Hell girl, I'm surprised to see you walking."

"Oh I can walk." Stephanie shot back. "Just not far." She laughed and handed over the donuts. "Hell, I even forked out the big bucks for Starbucks. I think the last time I got a full night's sleep was Thursday. But mine can wait, because I'm not giving you the details you wanna hear anyway. Now dish bitches."

Me and Connie laughed our asses off, and did another sweep for Vinnie's bugs before I started to tell what had happened on my 'first date' with Ram. "First of all that big ass blondie bear is the mutherfucking shit. He picked me up in his F150 crew cab, and that bitch was bright, granny smith apple green. It was the shit. He had to help me up into it and you know I was trying to be lady like…that shit didn't last but a minute. Ya feel me. His hands are so fucking big, it only took one to boost my voluptuous self into the truck. We had dinner at John Henry Seafood over on Mifflin. Girl, why didn't you tell a sister that there was a seafood restaurant that damn good in the 'Burg. Damn, I bout lost my fool mind the food was so good. And did you know that Ram is from Na'O'leans, that big fine mutherfucker told me all about growing up down south. He don't even care that I used to be a ho. He said that as long as the only back sliding I do is if we decide to do some roleplayin', my past is just that the past." I told them easily keeping to myself Ram's secrets. They weren't mine to tell. "But he didn't try any funny business, just gave one hell of a kiss at the end of the date when he walked me to my door. He wants to show me that I'm important enough to him to wait. I told him that I had tried all that ladylike dating shit and ended up finding out that the dude was hung like a gnat. So he let me feel for myself. Not only was that mutherfucker hung like a damn horse…but he was fully hard just from kissing me. I might not have felt all dainty and shit…but if I have ever felt that sexy in my life, I don't fucking remember."

Stephanie gave me a huge smile. One of the best things about Stephanie Plum is that she is truly happy when her friends are happy. "I'm glad, cause if he had tried to be ungentlemanly, Tank would be forced to break him in half and you know how much paperwork that causes." She teased.

Connie laughed. "Ram's a southern boy; you know they know how to treat women right. That's exactly why I can't do it. I mean what about when you just want _it_ rough…how do you get beyond that 'treat her like a lady' mentality."

Skinny Ass White Girl and I exchanged long, laughing looks. Before we finally pulled it together to ask her how her date had gone. The blush that covered her face was so damn red I wanted to yell Kool-aid. "Oooh it must be something good." Stephanie pointed out. "I didn't know an FBI could blush like that."

"What the ever lovin' hell do the feds have to do with Connie?" I asked confused.

Both of the white girls gave me their 'Burg eye rolls. But it was Stephanie who answered me. "Full Blooded Italians…I'm only half from my dad's side, but Connie is a hundred percent Italian."

"Yup. Four generations in America on one side, two on the other." Connie told me proudly. I couldn't relate; I knew my family had probably been here for four hundred years, but black folk just didn't look at shit like that the same way white people do. Instead I drew her back to the subject at hand. Telling us all about her date with Ranger's damn near as fine lawyer brother. "Guilermo took me to a Japanese place. He said that we could try something new together. So we went to Kenji Fusion. From the outside it looked like a whole in the wall. But when you went inside it was almost like a little Manhattan restaurant. We were at a very intimate little table and we talked. Neither of us are looking for anything serious. At least we weren't until we went back to his place and all I can say is Steph, if sexual prowess is genetic, then how the hell can you handle anybody other than just Ranger. One night with Gui and I'm ready to put a ring on it my damn self."

I busted out laughing. "Is he that good, or that big?" I asked nosily.

Stephanie laughed. "If he's anything like his brother and his cousin…both."

"Hell yes." Connie laughed fanning herself. "He has the stamina of a grown man and the regenerative powers of a teenager. He'd commanding in a way I've never experienced before."

"Probably because you family really is FAMILY." Stephanie pointed out. "You can't be all domineering with someone whose dad can make you sleep with the fishes…unless you've got some power in your own right."

"Hells yeah he got power…there isn't a Don on the eastern seaboard that wants to go toe to toe with Rangeman…it would take a lot more than some naughty fun time gone awry to make that shit happen." I laughed.

"Yeah, well, all I know is that we're seeing each other again this weekend. And I couldn't be happier." Connie laughed. "Now Plum…you need to share at least a little something." She added ominously.

Stephanie blushed fit to beat the band. In the end she all did was ask a question. "Is it normal to have an orgasm so strong that it feels like the pleasure set your blood on fire in your veins…but in a completely good…great even…kind of way?"

"Damn." Connie and I breathed together. "That happened to you?" I squawked.

She held up two fingers. "Twice." She answered honestly.

"Hell I don't know if I want it to be that damn good. Where do you go after some shit like that?" I murmured.

She shrugged. "It's like having a doomsday…you want it, and you like it when it happens, but you still appreciate the just 'Oh my God' ones too." Stephanie smirked in a way I just wasn't used to seeing from her. "Especially when you get so damn many of the 'Oh my God' ones all in a row."

"Uh huh. I just bet. Tankie was always good for at least four and its hard as hell to make me lose my mind…so I figure that he's probably hitting the double digits with your ass over teakettle ass…if the same goes for the rest of your guys…even if you only let two or three in a night…that's still twenty to thirty quality orgasms a night. You know if I didn't love your skinny white ass so much…I would be forced to hate you." I teased.

"Lula." Steph said shocked. "You know you can't say stuff like that to me. Using the L word like that. Can't we just go shopping or something?"

Connie decided to cut us off before we could really get going with the picking shit. "You know Ginger DelMico?"

"Yeah, she graduated with Val right. Her husband is in the plumber's 151 with Lenny." Stephanie returned leaving me alone to focus on some more interesting gossip.

"You know how she was going around bragging about how she was pregnant with twins?" Connie continued. "Well apparently you aren't the only 'Burg girl with the fever…cause those beautiful twin girls were born Saturday night and they are definitely bi-racial. Apparently her mailman's been delivering a little more than bills and magazines. Best of all Rocky had already filled out the paperwork and signed the birth certificates. Isn't that just poetic justice considering that Dominic Regelli is raising the child Rocky gave Pamela Mochanio in high school?"

We gossiped like that for a little while before Stephanie and I had to make it to Rangeman for the morning meeting. It's funny…three years ago, I was selling my body just to put food into my mouth…then I met Stephanie Plum and my whole world change. Change ain't ever easy, but I know for me it was damn sure worth it.

* * *

><p>I'm sorry for the continued sporadic nature of my updates. I do not consider any of my stories abandoned...so just keep checking in with me and poking me from time to time. I work on which ever fic you guys seem to want to see updated the most. I still say it would be Frickin' Awesome to break into the 500 club.<p>

Thanks for reading and reviewing,

Illy


	22. Chapter 22 Bigger is Better?

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** Yes Spanish is still English in Italics. I cannot speak it, nor write it, so I won't torture you with any attempts.  
><strong>Please take a moment and Check out My new Yahoo Group: Illy &amp; Anni the link is available on my profile. <strong>

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it. I wish you could all have seen the Happy Dance I did, when I hit 500. Thankfully no one was around to shove it onto youtube. Never fear, I may have described a little part of it within the chapter.

**This chapter is dedicated primarily to YepJustTrying. Thank you so very much for all the review love. In twenty four hours you managed to take me from 477 to 494 reviews single handedly. You are truly awesome.*Insert cyber tulips (Cause roses are kinda over done) here* **

**Thank you to all the first time (and continuous) reviewers who decided to review this little bit of my mental meanderings. Jannet Doe, you are the 500****th**** Review! *insert celebratory balloons here*.**

Chapter 22

_Stephanie Point of View_

It's been five weeks since the Weekend of Debauchery, and we've settled into a surprisingly domestic pattern. The big bed is used for weekends, and for nights when we need the comfort of everyone's presence. I think we'd all assumed that we'd always sleep in there, but the guys and I sometimes needed to keep out own company…or to break into smaller groups. Though to be honest we all slept in the big bed four or five nights a week anyway. Our domestic pattern also included nightly baths where Bobby or Hal bathed me and Lester or Bobby took care of keeping my stubble free. Bobby still had Lester on a 'bathing Bombshell timeout'. Supposedly Lester had to complete a course with Hal on the washing of 'silky smooth, soft, female skin'. Insert riotous laughter here, I always do. I've only just started to experience morning sickness just a little nausea at certain smells…though it doesn't hit me in the morning. It hits me when ever and where ever it wants to hit me. While it has yet to happen around any of my JLS, I think that Ranger is starting to figure out what's different about me.

I couldn't contain a small chuckle as I thought of how many times over the last thirty four days that Ranger has looked at me and raised an eyebrow. Almost every day he would look at me in confusion and say "There is something different about Babe. I can't put my finger on what." Then he'd put his fingers all over me.

I haven't told anyone that I think I might be pregnant. Not even Bobby. I know that he is the only one who knows I was even ready to try, but I didn't want any one of the guys to know before any of the others. Of course, I forgot that Ranger was the reincarnation of the Amazing Kreskin. I was also trying very hard to make sure that no one knew before they did. Yeah I was being all kinds of covert. I traded my Rangeman CRV for my mother's car. I drove up to Princeton where they were having a health and wellness fair with all kinds of health screenings, free and anonymous health screenings. I was just another faceless, nameless woman peeing on a stick. Three minutes later and I knew for a fact that one of my JLS was packing egg seeking missiles.

It is weird. I made the decision to do this. I mean I thought it all out for weeks. I set everything in motion. I even know pretty much how my guys are going to react. And yet, I'm scared out of my mind right now.

I drove back to Trenton in what could best be described as a haze. Yeah, I knew that more than likely the test would be positive. And I know that I wanted to give my dad a grandson…but I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no babies! I mean I'm a decent hamster mommy. But a huge part of that is that I happen to own the world most anti-social hamster ever. What am I gonna do with a real kid that needs feeding and changing and burping…three things I am proud to say I have reached the exalted age of thirty one without ever having actually done.

Good news was that over the last couple of weeks, I'd been doing some research whenever I wouldn't get caught. I'd read an article that said that breastfeeding could create a permanent increase in bust size and if you did it right, it didn't actually cause saggy boobies. So I was feeling a lot more confident that I could handle the feeding. Then again…I wonder if it's an urban myth that if you breastfeed, you shot milk out of your nipples when you had an orgasm. Eww- that wouldn't be good. Then again, given all the weird and diverse things my JLS were into, they might like it. Oh God, what if I liked it? Would I get…I mean what if I got aroused when I was feeding the baby. I get aroused by a stiff breeze during the wrong time of day. I'm gonna be the worst mother in the entire history of the world.

That thought made me seek the shelter of the emergency lane on the shoulder of the road. I dropped my head to the steering wheel and wept bitter tears. I don't know how long I was there, thoughts of how I'd ruin my poor kid running through my mind, but I must have been in my haze longer than I thought. Because when I heard a tapping on my window, I looked up to find Eddie and Robin looking at me with concern. I grabbed some of the napkins I'd accumulated at the health fair…what some of those healthy snacks were really tasty…and mopped at my face.

I rolled down my window and Eddie looked me over. "You okay, Steph?" he asked, his voice full of worry. Actually, he sounded a little freaked out.

I opened my mouth, fully intending to lie my ass off and say I was fine. Instead I blurted out, "I'm a nympho with seven boyfriends, Eddie. I'm gonna be the world worst mommy ever."

A look of relief was chased across Eddie's face by other emotions. Fear, anxiety, more relief and finally complete understanding. "Aw, come on Steph, you'll be a great mom…you sit my kids and Mary Lou's boys and you haven't actively tried to kill them yet. You're the only regular sitter we can say that about. And you are great at taking care of people, just look at Lula or Mooner and Dougie."

"Oh yeah real mom potential…I'm good at taking care of people who can already take care of themselves. Somebody please call the Harper Valley PTA." I snarked. "I burn water, Eddie, water. And what if I get…" I managed to cut that thought off there. Mainly because I started crying again.

Eddie rolled his eyes with a put upon groan. "Rob…follow us back to Haywood in the cruiser. We're gonna deliver the princess to her princes and hopefully one of them can get her to turn off the water works. 'Cause right now she is trying to steal her cousin's crown."

"I am not whining." I whined loudly.

"Yeah, you kinda are. Now budge over, you aren't fit to drive when you're emotional. Do you know how fast the chief had to talk back in the day to keep Morelli from pressing charges when you hit him with that Buick?" I let that slide as I slid over into the passenger seat. Now probably wasn't the best time to point out that I fully intended to hit Joe Morelli that day. That wasn't a fit of emotion, it was pretty much premeditated.

We buckled up and Eddie quickly and efficiently merged into turnpike traffic…showoff. "Now what's really wrong with you? You probably aren't far enough along to be able to blame hormones."

"I can blame hormones if I want to…I'm probably about a month along…that counts." I defended.

He sat in silence. Waiting me out…he knew I'd cave. "What if I get…you know…hot and bothered, while breast feeding the baby?" I finally whispered.

"Shit Steph…you have a mother, you have female friends…why did you have to go and ask me that?" Eddie screeched.

"You made me tell you." I shot back.

He rolled his eyes. You know most people would think we were related by blood not marriage when he does that. "Fine, but if you ever tell anybody we had this conversation, I will burn down the Tasty Pastry and frame you!" he threatened. "And if Shirley ever finds out I told you what I am about to tell you, neither of our lives will be worth a plugged nickel" he looked around quickly as if he were checking to make sure no one had magically appeared in the car with us in the last ten seconds. "Plum women kinda find breast feeding hot. I mean it's not like they get hot while feeding the kids, exactly. I don't think anyway. I just know that there is a real reason that all our kids are so close together in age."

I stopped breathing. I literally stopped everything. I was physically incapable of thought at that point. Eddie kept talking even as I prayed for the ability to tell him to stop. "It freaked Shirl out so much she asked your aunt…who had had to ask your grandmother when it happened to her. Apparently it's a thing for the women in your family."

^Oh great, so on top of the Mazur nymphomania genes, I get the Plum 'my boob buffet ruins panties' genes too.^ I though aloud. "Anything else I need to worry about?" I asked sarcastically. I thought you were gonna tell me it was just crazy pregnancy hormones…which I so already have…but no its and actual 'thing for the women in my family'."

Eddie actually looked thoughtful for a long moment. "So I guess you don't want me to tell you that for seven months of each of Shirley's pregnancies, I wondered if she was a nympho to. I mean, I'd fake calls from the station just to go and catch a nap on the couch in the break room." He teased. "At least you know it can't get any worse for you…and if it does, well, you've got seven men; you can't possibly wear them all out." He added as he parallel parked neatly, next to the curb and everything in front of Ranger's building…Showoff.

I was crying so hard thanks to that thought that it took both Eddie and Robin to get me into the building. Woody was working the front desk. He took one look at us and pressed the building wide intercom button on his phone. "Code Bombshell in the Lobby…code Bombshell in the lobby." He rushed over and started asking Eddie and Robin all kinds of questions ranging from 'is she hurt' to 'was there a run on Boston Cremes' and my own personal favorite 'did she go to a funeral'.

Before either of them could even begin to try to answer the barrage of questions, all seven of my JLS came barreling out of the stairwell. I happened to catch Eddie out the corner of my eye making gestures and pantomiming me with a large belly and puffy cheeks. "I'm gonna get fucking fat too!" I wailed.

Bobby figured it out first. He grabbed me and laid a kiss on me like it was VDay and he was just getting back from the war. The damned if he didn't move off to the side as the others rushed me and he started doing a happy dance…the cabbage patch, in fact. That flowed into the prep and back again as Ranger pulled me into his arms and said quietly, "You won't get fat Babe. You'll swell to give our child room to grow."

"Bullshit, Val got huge!" I bemoaned my fate.

"Your sister drank gravy like it was water." Cal pointed out quietly as he and the others passed me around for another round of hugs and kisses.

Ranger took me in his arms, facing forward so that the others could all give me love as he held me. "We'll help you eat well and Brown will figure out an exercise regimen to help you prepare for the birth and get back into shape thereafter." Tank soothed me.

"Besides, anyone who calls a pregnant woman who is experiencing healthy weight gain 'fat' should be drawn and quartered, shot and dragged behind a fast moving car. And it should be ruled a justified homicide." Robin spoke up.

The men in the room all quickly agreed. Woody looked hella impressed. I just sighed. "This is not how I planned on telling you guys. I was gonna call Ella and ask her to make us a special dinner. I was going to wear a nice dress and my hair and make-up was going to be flawless and I'd calmly tell you guys that in about nine months we'd have a new Rangeman. I wasn't supposed to get all freaked out at the thought of breast feeding that I ended up crying on the side of the road so bad that Eddie had to drive me home. Now look I'm a wreck, and I'm gonna be a horrible mom because there is this huge chance of accidentally liking breast feeding for all the wrong reasons." Oh there are the tears again. One would think that eventually I'd run out.

"Babe." Ranger drawled next to my ear. In this case 'Babe' seemed to me 'stop being ridiculous' "You'll be a great mom. You'll have all of us to help you. Plus Ella and your parents, and my and your abuelas. If you get needy during breast feeding, you can always get a pump and feed the baby your milk through bottles, that way we can all bond with the baby, rather than you hogging him or her all to yourself." He gave me a smile that not only thrilled my doodah, it warmed my heart as well…^God these pregnancy hormones are turning me into the world's worst hallmark card writer.^

Tank laughed his big booming laugh that made the whole room smile. I doubt Eddie or Robin had ever even seen him smile. He knelt down, then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to my belly. Coming back to his feet he paused to whisper, "You can feed me directly from those pretty titties, though. That's something I've always wanted to try." His lips brushed against my ear sending shivers of need down my back. "You riding my dick while I'm having a little snack would just be the icing on the cake. Damn Little Girl, that's hot."

I moaned a deep, long, low moan of want that went past need and well into desperation. I turned to launch myself at Tank, only to be stopped by the sight behind him. Bobby, Lester and Cal were dancing in the lobby of Rangeman…no, not just dancing, they were doing the damn Hammertime. So rather than falling into my desire, I fell into laughter. Peals and peals of laughter. I was quickly joined by the rest of my JLS as well as Eddie and Robin. Woody was fighting his laughter, but it was a losing battle.

In true Jersey girl fashion I did notice that Woody was spending a lot more time watching Robin as she enjoyed the dancing than he was watching the guys. I flashed back to the day Robin had asked how she could get a Rangeman of her very own, and saw a golden opportunity to help one of my favorite cops out. So I dragged Robin off to a corner. "Woody is checking you out. If you want your own walking, talking Rangeman with kung-fu grip, then you need to go jump on that one. He's a great guy. He's one of the few that will bargain to get his way rather than just ordering me to stay put. And he knows the best recipe for seven layer dip." I moaned. ^Gotta remember to ask Woody to make me some of that dip.^ I shook off my food thoughts and turned my attention back to being a good friend. "He's got that whole 'wild west, Doc Holiday, gentleman gunslinger' thing going on, just mixed with that military, honor and cool under pressure thing."

"Plus he's got a great ass." Robin muttered. "Are you sure he's single?"

"As far as I know, yes." I answered truthfully. "I can really tell you that he is not the type to check you out if he had a girlfriend. I did mention he's honorable…right?"

"Alright Plum." She smiled. "But if this blows up in my face…" She trailed off quasi-threateningly.

"Yeah, and if it works out, you'll have to name your first born child after me." I teased back.

We started giggling, and headed back over to the guys. I gave her a gentle push towards Woody, and allowed Hal and Hector to give me huge hugs and deep, panty ruining kisses. I was all ready to drag them all up to seven, when Lester, Bobby and Cal came over to share more of their joy with me. Then we found out the hard way that the baby does not like quick changes in altitude. "Oh-not good." I moaned. "I think I'm gonna…" I shimmied out of Lester's embrace and ran for the trash can I knew would be behind the reception desk. I made it…barely.

Before the yuck hit the bottom of the can, Bobby was next to me holding my hair back and murmuring soothing words in my ear. "Don't fight it. You'll just hurt yourself. It's okay, just let out naturally. Don't fight."

I rested against him and waited for the nausea to abate. "Damn it, Lester." I growled my voice missing the needed heat. "You made me throw up. I actually ate healthy today, and you ruined it."

Bobby chuckled. "I'll slap him against the back of his hard head for you." He offered. He dug into his pockets and came up with a stick of mint gum. I started chewing it and my stomach calmed immediately. He saw the tension flow from me and added. "I'll stock up on that for you, and research what other things might help. Okay, sweetheart?"

Bobby slowly and gently took me into his arms. He carefully stood, making sure that the lift wasn't too sudden. He smiled at the rest of my JLS and said with a cheeky grin, "I'm gonna take our Baby Mama up to seven and let her get cleaned up. She'll probably want a 'nap'." The way he said 'nap' left no doubt in anyone's minds that there would be little to no sleeping involved…at all.

With some last minute instructions to Lester, Cal and Hector, Ranger and Tank stalked through the lobby to join Bobby and I at the elevator bank. I hadn't expected them to be here, and had been kind of surprised when they had exited the stairwell ahead of the other five. They were leading the second shift tonight on a big takedown, so they weren't due in to Haywood until later. Or that was what I had thought until I looked up at the clock above the elevator and realized that it was later. I must have been on the side of the turnpike for longer than I'd thought. It still wasn't time for their actual shift, but it wasn't so early that it was crazy for them to be here either.

When we got up to seven, Ranger helped me get undressed. Tank and Bobby left him to it, sensing that he and I needed to talk. He waited patiently as I brushed my teeth…twice, then he led me to the shower and joined me. "You are so sexy, Babe, so beautiful." He whispered. His hands were gentle as they trailed over my skin washing me with his body wash. Heywood's new Ella was almost as magical as Ella herself. There were now seven different bottles of bottle wash in the shower of the penthouse apartment. Mine had made an appearance, but managed to disappear again quickly. Though it did show up at the house that same day. "I've known for weeks that there was something different about you something had changed. But every time I tried to put it into words, even in my own head, I couldn't pin it down. But now I know. You are carrying our child. I cannot believe that you love us all enough to give us a child." His smile turned wry, "I hope to God that it is a boy…not just for Frank's sake, but because it would be karmic justice for us to have a little girl, after all the hell I put you through before we finally came together. That's not even mentioning Lester's romantic karma." He chuckled as he bent his head and kissed me thoroughly, until my knees were weak and I had to lean on him for support.

When I was able to speak again, I had one question I needed to have answered. "Are you sure that this is okay?" I asked my voice clouded with worry. "I know you said you were good with me trying to give my dad his grandson, but this just got really, really, real now. Really real."

Ranger gave me a full one thousand watt smile. "I'm sure." He said his voice quiet and intense. Unfortunately his smile dimmed a bit when he saw the relief on my face and he realized why I was a bit reticent to believe his joy. "Babe…Amanté…some of the things I have said to you have been…well they were shitty as hell. My only defense is that I was trying to protect you and I guess trying to protect myself as well."

"Now you know that I'm going to need you to explain that to me…protect yourself from what? Protect me from what?" I asked gently as we rinsed the soap from our skin.

"Babe." Oooh that was the 'really, you're gonna pretend you don't understand…fine I'll put it into small words' Babe. "I could lie and tell you that I was trying to protect you from my enemies, but Tank pointed out to me long ago that it would be easier to keep you safe if we were together than when we were apart. In reality, I was trying to protect you from what being in a relationship with me was going to be like. I never thought it would be what our relationship has turned out to be, but I didn't think that it would be something you could handle long term." I rolled my eyes at his condescending tone. "Don't give me that 'bullshit' eye roll. You have to admit that some of the things that we've done in the last few months were on your 'good girls don't' list right up until we managed to convince you to stop caring about being a good girl. I overheard you at the Bonds Office on more than once occasion saying you didn't give blow jobs and that your ass was not a sexual orifice. But Babe…do you know how many different dreams I have had of just fucking your ass, or seeing your mouth swallowing my dick. I told you I was sexually sick, and you seemed as thought you were as vanilla as you can get. Amanté...Querida, I love you, but even now knowing how different you are from what I believed, there are still things I want to do to you that I believe would send you running for cover."

"Ok, so you were protecting me from your 'sexual depravity'." There wasn't enough self-control in my entire genetic makeup to keep me from rolling my eyes at that thought, "so what were you protecting yourself from?"

Ranger looked at me like I had grown a new head. Though in reality, I had…wait when do babies develop heads? I shook off the thought and waited for his answer. "I was protecting myself from the pain I knew I'd feel when I lost you. I kept telling myself that eventually you were going to want what Morelli offered. That eventually you'd quit bounty hunting and marry him to pop out a few kids." Insert 'Ranger Smirk No. 42' here. "I told myself that it would hurt less when that day came if we weren't in a relationship when it did. I managed to somehow convince myself that if all I ever got to be was your friend, then it would be ok. That it would hurt less." I started to yell. I mean really yell, but Batman cut me off before I could even open my mouth. "I have since come to realize that it was a self-fulfilling bullshit prophecy. By pushing you away, I was damn near gift wrapping you for Morelli and making myself and you miserable in the bargain. But even with all that I went through, and all I put you through, it brought us to where we are now and I honestly believe that we are happier now than we would have been just the two of us."

He was right, damn it. "You're right." I sighed as I turned off the water. "I've found out a lot about myself, and my desires that I wouldn't have admitted out loud to anyone…probably not even myself, before six months ago. And I think that it is better that we started off as the eight of us rather than you and I getting together and eventually your inner exhibitionist or my inner nymphomaniac creeping up later." We stepped from the shower and started to dry off. "So what kind of things do you still dream about doing to me?" I asked just before I opened the bathroom door to join Tank and Bobby in the other room.

Ranger chuckled. "You'll probably need to wait 'til after the baby is here to learn those, Babe."

We stepped into the bedroom. Bobby and Tank were relaxing comfortably on the big bed we'd brought in to replace the one that had been taken to Ranger's personal room at the house. They were both naked and hard and waiting on us. Unfortunately, I was still a little distracted by Ranger's last statement. As I clambered into the bed, I threw back at him. "You cannot say something like that. Besides, I'm barely pregnant…why do I have to wait nine months to find out?" I asked angrily. I hate it when people try to make me wait to get an answer like that.

"Babe, a couple of them could be dangerous for a pregnant woman." He said quietly as he joined us. "And one of them won't even be possible until after you've given birth."

I looked at Bobby, who now looked as curious as I felt. "Now I want to know what it is Car." Bobby laughed. The guys had finally started to call Ranger something other than Ranger, when we were naked. Though Tank calls him whatever the hell he wants to whenever they aren't around the others but everyone still calls him Tank…no one, and I mean no one, is allowed to call him by the dreaded P word.

Ranger came as close to blushing as I had ever seen him. He ran his hands up my legs instead of answering. "Why don't we celebrate our woman's news, by making love to her until Tank and I have to go, rather than wasting time talking?" he asked pointedly. He slowly spread my legs to find me already wet with arousal.

Tank laughed. "Okay, Pretty Rickey, We're gonna let you distract us just cause we really want to make love to our Little Girl." He whispered against the side of my neck. His breath was hot and moist, and even from here I could smell the mint, but damn it felt good, just breezing over the sensitive skin of my neck. He trailed soft kisses over the path that was already super sensitized. "Fuck, Little Girl, you smell so fucking good." He whispered. Tank's huge hand slipped around me to find my breasts. "Have these gotten all sensitive yet, Steph? They are bigger. Wonder how much more they are gonna grow?" his strong fingers started to tease and pinch my nipples. My back arched away from the bed as I was overcome by desire. It was a haze of pleasure as Ranger took me, his thrusts more gentle than I'd even known before. Bobby and Tank were driving me out of my mind with their mouths and their hands tormenting my breasts, kissing and licking and teasing my skin wherever they touched. Their teeth nipped and bit until I screamed and came as strongly as ever despite the overall gentleness of their lovemaking.

When Ranger finally came, he pulled me back into a maelstrom of orgasm. I was pulled from it only to sink back in again as I felt Bobby's tongue teasing my butt and my asshole. "Oh, God, why was I ever against butt stuff." I moaned as amazing feeling of pleasure swept over me.

Ranger took a spot next to me and whispered. "Soon as the doctor gives us the go ahead after the baby gets here, we'll take you hard. So hard that you won't be able to leave our bed for days. But for the next nine months, we will show you that the pleasure that can come from slow and gentle is just a powerful as that which comes from hard and fast." His hands found my nipples and he pinched and twisted them until the pleasure bordered on pain.

"Oh shit!" I screamed out as I came again.

"That's it, Babe. You're so beautiful when you cum. You're even more beautiful now when you glow even without our attention." Ranger whispered his words only adding to my bliss. "That was what I couldn't elucidate. You glow differently than you do just from satisfaction. Now you glow with the light of a thousand suns. It is so beautiful to behold."

Bobby finished his oral play and grabbed my hips. He pulled me up onto all fours and slid inside of me. In just a few stokes he had me screaming and shouting to heavens in pleasure. His hands on my hips would leave bruises, but his grip was giving him the utmost control of each gentle thrust.

My head thrashed back and forth and my back bowed in unadulterated pleasure. As sensitive as I usually was in the doodah area, it was like in the last few weeks I've been getting more and more and more so. I went from being a normal woman with a very high sexual appetite, to a raging orgasm machine. I slipped into a sea of orgasms so wide and deep that I barely registered it when Bobby roared his own pleasure. They let me rest just long enough that Tank would have to start the orgasm train back up, and then it was time for my third round.

Tank pulled me over on top of him. I gave him a small questioning smile. "Until the bambino is here, you're on top. I don't want to squish you if you put it on my ass like you did the night the bed came in." I slowly lowered myself down his shaft. "Ooh shit, you're so damn tight, Baby."

"Not that tight, you're just that fucking big." I breathed as I felt more and more full.

Ranger and Bobby along with Hal and Lester, when did they get here, all spoke as one. "He's big, but you are really, really tight." They all agreed. Would have responded to the compliment, but Tank chose to lean up and clamp his beautiful lips over a nipple and away I went. Tank's hands guided my hips, forcing me to stay to his rhythm and leading me to crest after crest of satisfaction.

Ranger, Bobby and Tank eventually left me to the attentions of Hal and Lester, who were soon joined by Hector and Cal. Just like the first three celebrants, Hal, Lester, Cal and Hector kept our lovemaking to an agonizingly slow pace. My men and I made love for the rest of the evening, by the time we were all completely satisfied Ranger and Tank had returned someone was nice enough to carry me down to the Cayenne, and Carlos carried me into the house. We spent the entire night in the large bed, wrapped around each other.

_Bobby Point of View_

I never knew how much bullshit people put women through when they are pregnant. Thank God that Bomber's gyno is also an obstetrician and, please God don't ever let her find this out, was previously vetted and background checked by Silvio. He was a slightly older guy, who went to med school on the GI bill after he served in the first Iraqi conflict. Dr. DiBenditti has been serving the women of the 'Burg without a single complaint since he finished his residency. Unmarried, he makes a yearly trip to Atlantic City and another to Vegas, but he never loses more than he can afford, and he doesn't frequent any of the local pleasure procurement specialists, so he'd be hard to blackmail. Not a bad man. I'm also grateful that he has all his questionnaires available on his scheduling site. I was able to download the mother and father medical history forms. I filled out Bomber's, her grandmother and father were a wealth of information and I was able to give an even more complete history than the one I had on file here at the office. Though, I did append that one as well. Then I filled out one of the father's forms for each of the seven of us. Since we had no desire to go through all the testing to find out the actual biological father of the baby in utero, we would behave as if we each were. This will allow the Doctor to anticipate the most possible contingencies. We were lucky even though there are eight of us, none of us are carriers for the genetic markers for any of the big three, sickle cell, cystic fibrosis, or Tay Sachs. They may still want to test for thalassemia, but Bomber's family came from Italy over three generations ago, so that should lessen the likelihood of that as well.

I knew that I was going to have to raise the point soon that we would need to go ahead and have the baby's paternity determined after he or she gets here, just to have the most complete health profile possible. But the others see no need. Any child born of Stephanie Michelle Plum is my child, and I know the other men feel the same, but from a medical stand point, it could prove important later to know what the child's genetics open them up to. Given Cal's previous decision to undergo permanent sterilization measures, I almost shredded his form…but then I decided that since no one outside out immediately family, meaning the eight of us, would ever know who contributed the 'winning' sperm, I'd leave it as it was. Dr. DiBenditti had no need to know about it.

Then there was the fact that it took three weeks between the day Bomber went to the health fair and took the test to the day of her appointment. Really it takes three weeks to get an appointment for this shit, when prenatal care is directly connected to the health of the baby and mother at birth. It was decided that while there were certain appointments that we would all attend, and I would attend them all…just to translate the 'medical mumbo jumbo' for our woman; not every one of the guys would have to be here for all the appointments. Steph was sure that the 'Burg would explode as the gossips tried to all relate that much juiciness. Ranger and I attended the first appointment and I was having all of these thoughts as I waited in the, not near as stark as I'd have thought it would be, waiting room. Bomber's knee was bouncing like mad. She'd gotten the earliest appointment possible and in an effort to be a 'good pregnant patient' she'd held her urine for the inevitable pee in a cup at the beginning of her appointment. She was having trouble holding it. Finally twenty-four minutes after we'd signed her in; she stood and stalked back up to the sign in window. "Gina Floretti, if you don't get me to the back to pee in the dame cup, you're gonna have one hell of a mess to clean up here. And if that happens I'm bringing my mom to your house for her to yell at you how embarrassed she is."

One good thing about the 'Burg, threats like that work. Everyone knows everyone so well that things like that could actually happen. Stephanie was able to go and handle her business just moments later. I think the hardest part of this whole appointment was the wait. Not just the wait in the waiting room, or the three weeks of wait to get to the appointment date, no the real wait was in fact the twenty-four hours before the appointment when we were not allowed to have sex. Stephanie is getting rather impatient. In the last day and a half, she's had an entire pineapple upside cake, a German chocolate torte, a dozen Boston crème donuts, and more than a few other sweets. After an altercation outside the Tasty Pastry the day before, we'd also had to confiscate her gun.

I felt a little smile cross my face as I remembered that incident. Apparently Bomber had been able to avoid Joyce Barnhardt for the last few months. But Barnhardt managed to be there when Hal, Bomber and I made a pre-lunch donut run. "Well, well, well…if it isn't little Miss Holier than Thou." Barnhardt started before Steph had even noticed her presence.

Bomber rolled her eyes. "Well, well, well…if it isn't 'can't call her little Miss Will Put Out for Food." She returned with a smirk.

"Glass houses, Plum…you don't get to call me a whore anymore." Barnhardt laughed. "Not when you've got a whole building of Black and Hispanic men rutting over you. Joe told me all about it. Ranger got you and, as all your lovers do, he got bored; so he started passing you out to his friends." She taunted.

Stephanie placed a calming hand on Hal to hold him back. He was not visibly angered to those who didn't know him, but Steph and I both realized that he was pissed off; not only at the insult to our woman, but to the integrity of our boss and to the depth of our feelings for our woman. For a moment I thanked God that Tank and Ranger were both still at the office. Either of them would have shipped Joyce off to BumFuckIstan in a heartbeat for that comment. "It's amazing how different your dream world is from reality, Barnyard." Joyce looked shocked. "Yeah, I called you Barnyard. Even now I've been with less men than you've been with farm animals. One of my skips showed me your website. Does horse cum taste different from a human's? I have to ask you; after all I don't know any woman who has tasted more human cum than you, and you're the only one I know who has tasted the equine kind. You know before you, I always assumed those pictures were faked or photoshopped. Congratulations, Joyce, you proved me wrong on that one."

"Whatever Plum, just admit it, you're a whore. You've called me one since high school, but now the whole world knows it was just the pot calling the kettle black." Barnhardt looked infuriated.

God, please give me the strength not to kill this fake ass bitch in front of me. I prayed silently. I am a firm believer that a man should never lay hands on a woman in anger…but this bitch is trying my patience. I also prayed that the Lord would give me the strength not to pray that her silicone started to leak causing her massive amounts of future health problems. At the same time I knew that I would have to let Stephanie handle this. It was her right. "Joyce, I called you a whore in high school because you deserved to be called a whore in high school and you've only gotten worse since then. You were sleeping with three of our teachers. They were all married; Joyce…Mr. Hudson's wife was pregnant with their first kid for Christ's sake. I called you a whore in high school because the quarterback put out a videotape of you sucking off the team as a good luck kiss before they got on the bus to go to the state championship. I called you a whore in high school because you filled my fucking locker with used condoms. God only knows where you even got that many of the damn things. In other words, Joyce I called you a whore in high school because you were one. I wasn't the only one who called you a whore; I was just the only one brave enough to call the head cheerleader a whore to her cum covered, whorish face." Steph said with a chilling smile. "I'm not a whore. I've never slept with a married man, who wasn't my husband. I've never slept with any man I didn't have a lot of love for. You are just jealous because I have seven men who love me, who would do anything for me."

"Oh please." Joyce scoffed. "I've had your husband. In fact I started sleeping with Dickie less than a week after you got back from your honeymoon. I've had Morelli too. I'm sure that I could have your precious Rangemen too."

"Bull shit." I spat, speaking for the first time. "First of all that says more about the sheer level of pathetic you really are that you would actively go after a newly wedded married man. Second of all, there isn't a single actual Rangeman who would touch with a Morelli dick. Hell, we had to get rid of that one contract worker you managed to wrangle into your bed, no one wanted to even use the same bathroom as somebody who'd fucked you."

Joyce turned a shade of red that I didn't think could even exist in nature. "You think you're such hot shit. You pricks are just a bunch of idiot assholes that are so bent and twisted that you all have to fuck the same loose snatch."

Hal started to laugh. "Bobby just told you that none of us will ever be with you, and you're the only 'loose snatch' here. And let me clear up a misconception that you seem to have. Stephanie Plum is in love with and loved only by the seven core members of Rangeman. As she has always deserved, she now has the best of the best of the best. The one person affiliated with our organization you've managed to get interested in your diseased body couldn't even make the third or fourth string, to put it in terms you can wrap your mind around, was barely a waterboy in our world."

I was pulled from my thoughts by the nurse as she called Stephanie's name. She gave us all strange looks when both Ranger and I stood to accompany Stephanie to the back. Our woman had put her foot down; none of us accompanying her were allowed to dress in our 'swat gear'. We had to be there as dads, not bodyguards. Carlos had gotten a reprieve today because he had a client meeting this afternoon, so he was dressed in one of his black on black, Armani suits, though his tie had swirls of blue that almost matched Bomber's eyes. I was just wearing khakis and a nicer button down shirt. We were both armed…of course, just not visibly. I watched as the nurse, not the same one Bomber had threatened earlier, put Steph through all the examination preliminaries; weight, height, blood pressure. I was surprised to find myself jealous. I may not have a problem sharing my woman's love with my fellow JLS members, but I was having a very hard time sharing the responsibility for her health with someone else.

As she took Bomber's blood, the nurse, looked at me and turned to Stephanie with a smirk. "Those two are two of your boyfriends? Told you so." She crooned.

Stephanie gave her an affectionate eye roll. "Maddie Turner, I'm surprised you managed to keep that one inside this long." She turned to Ranger and I. "Maddie and me went to school together. She used to just look like a vampire, instead of stealing all my blood like she really was one, though. When Bobby came in with me to convince Dr. DiBenditti to give me the Mirena, she swore that he was in love with me. She also said that he looked at her like he was imagining all the ways he could kill her and hide the body for doing what he thinks of as his job." Steph gave me smile, before smirking at her friend. "You always did like being right way too much."

"There is no such thing as enjoying anything too much." Maddie joked back. "I'm just gonna go ahead and tell you that yes, you are pregnant. Now most of the fun, really invasive stuff will be asked by the doctor…I can tell you that your weight is on the low side for what we usually see for you, and your blood pressure is better than it has been in years." She turned to Ranger and me, "Good job, keeping this one from exploding with all that Italian food and temper is a job all its own."

"Babe…she really does know you well." Ranger teased. "We just help her to explode other ways." He told the nurse, his eyes locked on Bomber's through every syllable. He and I were gratified to watch the subtle changes that her arousal wrought with just a few words from him.

"No sex in the champagne room, you three." Maddie chided. "And certainly no sex before a pelvic exam. You have abstained for at least the last twenty four hours, right Plum."

"Yes…I have, and if I run into Joyce Barnhardt again before I can rectify that situation, her death will be on your hands."

"Her death should have been on somebody's hands years and years ago…the world might be a better place. But you're the one with the cousin who sleeps with her. How on earth does his wife let her live?" Maddie asked as she led us to an exam room.

"Probably because the profits from the Joyce Barnhardt website paid for their upstairs remodeling last year." I heard Carlos mutter.

I buried my laughter as the nurse started to speak again. "Alright Stephie, strip down to your socks, wrap the paper robe around you, hop up in the table, Dr. D will be in in a moment. You need me to come in with him, or can we count on those two to protect your virtue?"

"Maddie, I would appreciate it if you would come back, not to protect my virtue, but to protect Dr. D..." Bomber laughed.

"Alpha males no likie when another male touchies mate?" Maddie teased.

Steph chuckled like a loon. "Mooner, Dougie and Sally Sweet, and my dad seem to be the only exclusions."

Maddie rolled her eyes, "I've read the articles, Plum, that's probably less about jealousy and more about safety. If you attract even half the stalkers the papers say that you do, then be glad they go all alpha wolves on your ass."

A merry laugh was shared and the slight tension that Steph was throwing off dissipated into the air. "Alright, Turner, level with me…scale of one to ten…how bad is this gonna be."

"Oh its gonna be hell for me. I'm gonna have to see you naked every month til you pop that bad boy out. Month after month, you're gonna be calling me a vampire or leech, or hell knowing you, you might even throw the chupacabra in there even though I'm not Mexican and you aren't a goat. In fact near the end of your time, I'll see you even more often, first every two weeks, then weekly if you go overdue."

"Hold up…you can go OVERDUE?" Steph gasped.

"Yeah, but don't worry if you look like you're going that way, I'll induce you myself. I can only take so much…and the whining you're gonna start once you have to put away your stilettos is gonna be more than I can take for long." Maddie teased.

"Yeah, when is that gonna happen, I need to start mentally preparing myself for that now." Bomber laughed.

Dr. DiBenditti chose that moment to enter the room. "Preparing yourself for what, Miss Plum, the long list of 'I told you so's that I have for you?" He asked jovially. Dr. William DiBenditti carried his forty plus years well. You could still see the military bearing in his carriage, and he still worked out. "I told you that you were not ready for even a semi-permanent birth control method. I'm sure that there are others, but that's the only one I really wanted to say." He threw out cheekily. "Now then, according to the dates Medic Brown gave us, you should be no more than eight weeks along. That should put you due in mid-May. You could get luck and have this baby before the hottest months of the summer. Now, most women I would suggest you wait on maternity until end of March, beginning of April…but you I classify the same way I would a woman in the armed services or in law enforcement…so you're on desk duty until six to eight weeks after the birth. Do you understand me young lady?"

Stephanie placed a protective hand over her still flat stomach and nodded emphatically. "Bobby's already taken me off the field work rotation."

"Medic Brown's a smart man." He looked over his chart, "and one of your prospective fathers. 'Burg or not, you are not my first patient who is uncertain as to the identity of the biological father of her child, but you are definitely the first who has all of the possible fathers' information and detailed medical history."

"That's because I'm the only one who knows that all her prospective fathers will be the kid's daddies." Stephanie's tone was defensive and starting to get angry.

"I don't say it to give censure, Miss Plum; I was simply going to ask if you were planning on having a paternity test done as a part of the prenatal genetic screening?" He assured her quickly. He ran through all the things that it would look for as he started to prep Steph for the examination to really get underway.

Ranger let out a small growl during the breast check, which Maddie found hilarious. "Chill out Big Guy," she said irreverently. "You'd have more to worry about from me fondling Plum than the doctor…he leaves his libido at home when he comes to the office."

"God, Maddie…shut up!" Bomber groaned. "You practice kissing with somebody one time when you're eleven and a little moan slips out and they call you gay for the next twenty years."

Carlos and I exchanged a telling grin. Maddie wasn't a bad looking girl. She was short with dark hair and light, almost creepy, green eyes; and a build that looked like if she decided to quit nursing she could make a living as a fetish model. "Little moan my ass...a little moan is what you let out when you're eating B&J Phish Food…I got your motor running, Plum, just admit it."

"I was an eleven year old, fast tail, little girl. Sometimes watching Wolverine on the X-men cartoon got my motor running." Steph threw back.

The doctor, Ranger and I exchanged looks and all of us wondered for a moment at that assertion. "I'm gonna need to have a hormone screen run on one of those samples." Dr. DiBenditti said with a wry grin. "Have you even actually been tested for hyper-sexuality? For years it was considered merely a psychosexual disorder, but the Dutch recently put forth evidence that there is an actual hormonal cause for the behavior." He pointed out. "I believe that you have found a way to manage it that works for you, but you might like to have the medical diagnosis to back you in the community."

Steph giggled. It's weird, I've always hated it when girls giggled like that…but I find it endearing and heartwarming when Bomber does it. "My mother is telling anyone that will listen that I've already been diagnosed. Guess you can make an honest woman out of her…as long as Vampira over there doesn't have to draw any more blood."

"We should have enough for all the testing. Especially since, thanks to Brown's excellent records, we can do away with all the genetic marker testing leaving only the one test, rather than five." With that Dr. DiBenditti got the rest of the exam out of the way. When Bomber grimaced in discomfort during the pelvic exam, Carlos may have had to lay a calming hand on me. "Hmmm…your uterus is larger than I would have thought for eight weeks." He murmured. "Maddie, can you bring me the Doppler."

"Isn't it too early to hear heart beats, Doctor?" she asked as she moved to the room's cabinetry.

"Yes, but I'm gonna give it a try anyway. It's less invasive and if I hear a heartbeat then I'll know she is further along than we'd assumed." A few minutes later he shook his head. "Nope, not a bouch bouch in hearing. Miss Plum, at your next appointment, I'd like to do a transvaginal ultrasound. Even at twelve weeks it is far too early for an external to show us much. But given my findings, I'm going to treat you based on my assumption, if I'm wrong, well it will not hurt anything to err on the side of caution."

"Wait, what caution?" I asked quietly.

"Her uterus is already showing greater growth than I expected. Given the size of some of you, this could point to early signs of a large fetus, or it could be a multiple birth. Either way, I'm going to give her several mandates to maintain until her next appointment. First of all, reduce your sugar and simple carbohydrate intake by at least half. If the fetus is large, preeclampsia or gestational diabetes could be a problem, let's start trying to get in front of it now. Increase your vegetable intake by a factor of three. If it is multiples, the extra nutrients will help, if it's just a big baby, start the health eating early. And it will help you stay full without the donuts and sweets."

"Are you trying to kill us, Dr. DiBenditti?" I groaned. Ranger however looked smug and was giving Bomber a look that damn near scorched her paper robe. "Sugar is one of the ways Stephanie keeps her hormones regulated."

"Like chocolate during PMS. Yet further evidence in support of my hormone theory." The doctor said with a smug grin. "Man up Brown, you're going to have to take one for the team…baby health trumps daddy's. As I was saying, lots of veggies, and good proteins…that means nuts and legumes-cut your pork and fat intake by half as well, but limit her fish intake. Some farm raised salmon, light tuna and tilapia are all ok, shellfish is not. No soft cheeses, don't eat Mexican out, if the person cooking it for you knows you're pregnant, they'll make sure to use the right kinds of cheeses. Yes to yogurts. LOTS of calcium…at least three cups of dairy products a day; not ice cream, Miss Plum, that falls under sweets. If she has to have sugar, FRUITS, not pies or cakes with fruits in them either, Miss Plum, fruits." He went on from there to lay out a diet that made Ranger happier than I think I've ever seen him fully dressed. When he moved onto exercise, Maddie had to stop Steph from storming out in the paper robe. Damn Stephanie Plum has an amazing ass. "Prenatal Yoga is great, some light martial arts…no sparing. This early in the pregnancy, you can also do swimming and water aerobics." The doctor continues undeterred. "Thirty to forty-five minutes every day is all you need. No OTC drugs or vitamins unless Brown clears them with me. I'll see you monthly until you hit thirty-two weeks. Then every other week from there."

I took down everything he said, though I noticed that Ranger was recording it on his phone as well. "Maddie said something about going over my due date…does that really happen? Or is she trying to scare me again like when we were eight and she tried to convince me that there were tiny little bugs that could swim up inside us if we peed in the ocean?"

Carlos elbowed me to keep me quiet. He was probably right. Stephanie doesn't need to know that those bugs really do exist, just not in the ocean. We would never get her to go even half the places we'd love to show her if she knew that one. While Bomber was bantering with her old friend, Ranger spoke to her obstetrician. "Dr. DiBenditti, I hate to have to say this, but it needs to be said, can you please control your staff. I understand that the woman of this community love to gossip about the going ons in my Babe's life, but this is something that we want to have the joy of telling our families ourselves."

The doctor gave Ranger a curt nod. "I've only had one nurse tell tales out of the office, she was fired the next day. HIPPA regulations may not mean much in most 'Burg doctor offices, but I take my patients' confidentiality seriously." He assured us. "But if the baby is actually the babies, then you might want to make all your announcements soon. Multiple pregnancies show early."

I started mentally planning how long it would take to get all the concerned parties here. We'll have to get started on this immediately. "Do we have two weeks?" I asked keeping my voice low and tone calm.

He looked contemplative. "Two weeks should be fine…three would probably been too long. If she is carrying twins, she'll be starting to show before her next appointment. Just a larger fetus and she'd have maybe two months."

I nodded understanding his point. "Is there anything I need to do for her? Anything I should know?" I asked quietly.

"I'm side seat diagnosing here, but she seems to have a rather pronounced case of hypersexuality, her upbringing and her substitution therapy have kept it from overwhelming her, and I don't think she's at nor will she get to the dangerous level,"

"Dangerous level?"

"Hypersexuality becomes dangerous when the patient has to go into hazardous situations, or undertake risky behaviors to gain satisfaction. The man who turns to date rape drugs to maintain a steady supply of gratification, the woman who lets men she doesn't know run trains on her in the bathroom of a night club. The patient so consumed with achieving release that they move beyond a single gender to make sure that they always have someone at hand to get them their next sexual high." Dr. DiBenditti sighed. "Miss Plum is safe and sane in her practices. However I would admonish that you and your fellows take special care if you engage in anal sex. No penile penetration of the other orifices after anal sex until the penis has been thoroughly cleaned. Take care to ensure that the same is done for any fingers or tongues that engage in anal play. She will probably not be able to engage in anal sex at all after her sixth month…that is around when pregnancy hemorrhoids develop if they are going to."

"Is there any way to prevent those?" I asked, knowing that Stephanie would absolutely hate to have those. None of the rest of us would be too happy if she got them either.

"High fiber diet, make sure she exercises, and drinks lots of water, have her do her kegals. Those will strengthen all her pelvic muscles. Just make sure she doesn't get constipated, and if she does, she should avoid straining."

I took all of his suggestions down. I knew that the next nine months were going to be rather intensive for me. It would be my job to help our woman have the healthiest pregnancy possible. To be honest I've known for years that if Stephanie Plum was to ever have a baby, I would make sure that she was a healthy as possible. I loved her too much to do otherwise. I just never thought that there would even a small chance, let alone such a good one that I could be responsible for getting her that way. I smiled to myself as the appointment wrapped up. I couldn't wait to get our woman home. After twenty four hours with absolutely no relief, she was gonna be insatiable. Damn, I love that woman.

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><p>Double the length as a thank you to those who read and review. Especially to those who read and review and bump my big old booty over the 500 review Threshhold!<p>

Whooo!

Thank you and have a great day.

Don't forget to review your authors.

Illy


	23. Don't Hate Me Cause I'm a Filler Chapter

WHEN IT RAINS  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** Yes Spanish is still English in Italics. I cannot speak it, nor write it, so I won't torture you with any attempts.  
><strong>Please take a moment and Check out My new Yahoo Group: Illy &amp; Anni the link is available on my profile. <strong>

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it

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><p><strong>Lester PoV <strong>

Well it has been confirmed, and it was officially official. We're gonna have a little Bombshell, or a mini Rangeman in eight or nine months. Beautiful called us all together at the house as soon as they left the doctor's office. Considering that she'd had to go without for a little over a day and that when she'd tried to eat her favorite breakfast her stomach had rebelled spectacularly, I offered to meet her in the parking lot of her doctor's office to give Bobby a hand in getting her started on the road to satisfaction. She turned me down flat. "Nympho I may well be, but I'm sticky and yucky from the stuff they use on their gloves in there. I'm not having sex until I've had a shower, that's just gross." She chided me.

To which I replied, "You know I'm damn good in the shower." Of course then she made me prove it. You know that big ass shower really will fit all eight of us, even if someone is on their hands and knees. Fuck, Beautiful looks hot as hell when she's on her hands and knees, her sexy little ass in the air. Yup, I'm damn good in the shower and if her screams of pleasure were any indication, so were Tank, Carlos, Bobby, and Hal. Hector and Cal both waited until we were out of the shower, Cal dried her off and sat her to the teacher desk in the school play area. He made love to her with his hands and mouth as her head lolled over the edge of the desk. If we could film Stephanie Michelle Plum's reactions as her body is being thoroughly loved, we could make a fortune. The sounds of her pleasure were so beautiful and so intense, that it didn't take any time at all before we were all piled in the big bed making love to our girl over and over again.

Despite what most people think, our relationship is very much domesticated. It's not what most people would think of as normal, but it works for us. We don't have the regular nine to five lifestyle. Yet we manage to eat dinner together all eight of us at least three or four nights a week. We date our girl, separately, all together and in twos and threes. We make love to her, and increasingly to each other. At least me, Cal and Hector, anyway, I think Bobby might be swaying our way too…maybe. He's starting to give us looks that makes me wonder if he isn't considering it. We run our business. Since Stephanie took over background checking our clients and doing client development, we've increased our client base by twenty-five percent, and they are all big money patrôns. And they aren't anyone we have to worry about them trying to ruin us, or use us to further their own bottom lines. In the last few weeks, before she knew for sure, she has also run twelve successful distractions that have net the company over five million dollars.

We've actually been thinking of expanding the distraction unit; building it to become a real arm of the Apprehension department. Perhaps it's time we start expanding it to the Boston and Miami offices as well. Distractions are a hell of a lot safer than fighting big, dumb mutherfuckers with more balls than brains. Perhaps now is the right time to look into that, Beautiful is not going to be doing those for a while and we'll need to find someone to take those on for her…might as well populate a new department at the same time. If we could find four to five women who cover the spectrum of types and maybe a bisexual male or two…I forced that thought to the side, with a mental note to bring it up at a core team meeting soon, and I went back to my original stream of thought. We were having a _baby_.

Which meant that we now had to wonderful, sure to be pleasure filled, experience of telling our families. Oh the joy, oh the rapture…not! We finally decided that we would simply get this whole announcing everything to the world at one time. So we rented out the big room at Rossini's for a celebratory dinner. A dinner that somehow ended up including the invitation of ALL of our families, so the company jet had had quite the workout over the last few days. We flew in Bobby's mom, Both of Hal's mothers and his older sister, Tank's mother, Ms. Lavonia, Cal's mom and brother; we'd had to fly up Julie's whole family to be able to have her here. Thankfully Rachel, Ron and their kids were being kept busy having dinner at Pino's, Kloughn had been kind enough to take them and his three girls out to eat while Julie attended the 'massive family meet and greet'. Beautiful had taken care to ensure that he understood that he was to bring them here for dessert since they were all part of the family. She told him that she just didn't want the smaller children around if anything went south. Kloughn isn't a bad guy, I've gotta get him in the damn gym though…he has too many daughters to be all doughy and shit. How the hell is he supposed to scare the shit out of whatever knuckleheads they try to bring home. And Angela and Mary Alice have my Beautiful's eyes, they're gonna have dudes on their tails like gangbusters.

My thoughts turned back to the bebe in Beautiful's belly and all the drama the little one was causing. Apparently before the doctor's appointment, Beautiful had barely dealt with any morning sickness at all. But the second the doctor told her for sure, her belly had started getting' unhappy at the weirdest times'. However, what our woman won't admit was that the times are really ones when she goes somewhere that she knows she can't eat. She walked into Pino's and the smell didn't agree with her. Fortunately Eddie was there when she blew chunks all over Big Dog. Funniest thing is that he just looked at her and told her that her throwing up on him should get him at least honorary Harem membership, put him on the reserve team or something. Eddie had us rolling as he told us all about it. A couple of days later, she snuck out with Lula to go to the Tasty Pastry. Thankfully that time she sent Lula in, but one bite of her favorite Boston Creme, and we had to get that car detailed. Beautiful swears that Ranger called Abuela and had her do some 'hoodoo' to make sure that she couldn't eat her favorite foods. He didn't, but it sure would have been funny if he had.

In addition to the food restrictions, and the implementation of prenatal yoga, swimming and martial arts; the baby was also wreaking havoc with Beautiful's hormones. Great news is that her boobs have gotten a full cup size bigger already and they seem to grow some more every day. Good news is that her sex drive is even bigger and she comes even easier, might have something to do with the fact that every one of her erogenous zones are super-sensitized…SUPER-sensitized. Bad news is that when I say her drive is even bigger, I mean it's at least three or four times stronger. We've had to start sleeping in shifts, because, in addition to her increased sex drive, lately her energy is ramped up too. There are eight of us, at any given time during the night we make sure that at least two of us are available to take care of our woman. I never thought I would see the day when all eight of us would have to take to napping during the day. Hell, I thought this wasn't even supposed to start happening for a few more weeks. Everything I read said that we weren't gonna have to encounter the sex fiend pregnant lady until during the second trimester.

Don't laugh, I read everything I could get. Put all those books on my kindle and locked that bitch down with a ten key encryption. But those 'What to Expect When You're Expecting' books were the bomb.

**Cal PoV**

We are still in the first trimester, and Angel is already killing us. I mean, don't get me wrong. It is amazingly cool to be with a woman who is always ready, willing and able, even a little demanding. But I'm pass by tired. Lester keeps grumbling that he thought we wouldn't have to deal with pregnancy hormones until the second trimester. I'm proud that he knows that, but I don't have the heart to tell him that these aren't pregnancy hormones, just what Angel calls 'lack of jelly donut' hormones. I shudder in a mixture of horror and anticipation at the wonder of what will happen when those two forces collide. I really don't know if all eight of us will survive it, but hell, what a way to go.

We managed to get everyone not only to Trenton, but all of the family members to the restaurant on time. However, once we were all settled around the table, I don't think any of us knew what to say next. Finally Frank Plum stood and took command. "Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, I am Francis Alberto Plum, Stephanie's father. We are the family members of a very special set of people. I believe that they have gathered us together to tell us something but first I'd like to make sure that we are all on the same page." He took a deep breath and continued. "Your sons are all involved in a polygamist relationship with my daughter. They have been for the last several months. Her mother and I have known almost all along, and hopefully if anyone in the room hasn't already had this conversation with their loved one it is the only one in the room under twenty-one." He looked over at Julie, "Sweety, I'm sorry for having to blurt that out if your dad didn't tell you already, but he and the others looked like they were about to start a very mature round of 'you tell your mom first' and we'd have been here all night. There is a hockey game from the west coast starting a little after midnight that I'd like to actually be home in time to see."

"Don't worry Mr. Plum, Ranger and Stephanie told me that Stephanie's capacity to love is so big that it takes and Uncle Tank and Primo Bobby and Primo Lester and Hal and Cal and Mr. Hector to love her equal cause they are a little damaged. But Steph is helping heal them." Julie said with a small innocent smile. "I don't know why he seemed like he expected me not to understand that. Stephanie loved me enough to risk her life for me even though she had never met me just because of how much she loves Ranger. Not quite sure how the whole sex thing works for that many people…but I'm thinking that is one of those 'you'll understand when you're older' things."

"Young lady, you can understand when you're thirty just like your stepmother and not one day sooner." Helen Plum said fiercely.

"Wow, Mrs. Plum, if you'd said that in Spanish, I'd have thought you were my Abuela." Julie joked.

Helen blushed. But it was Isabella who answered. "Well she was correct when she called Estefania your stepmother. She is for all intents and purposes. Therefore Helena would be another grandmother in a way."

"Poor kid, two mothers, two fathers…four sets of grandparents…three great-grandmothers…and a boat load of over protective uncles and cousins." My biological brother Simpson said with a laugh. "You will never understand. Something tells me that you're never going to get to date."

"She will to." Our angel defended Julie's right to grow up.

"There will however be rules. Rules that Ron and I agreed on long ago." Ranger said sternly.

"Oh I can't wait to hear these." Stephanie muttered.

Ranger smirked. "He or she can be no more than eighteen months older than Julie until she reaches twenty –five. Then he or she can be no more than thirty-six months older. They must have a Rangeman background check come back completely clean, nothing blacked out or redacted. They must also meet with, and be approved by, Ron and myself or a member of the Rangeman Miami leadership team before they may take her out. In addition she will have pepper spray, a tracker and a panic button on her at all times during any of the aforementioned dates. And she must black belt in the martial art of her choice before she may begin dating at all. Oh and she will be monitored by a Rangeman on any said dates."

Steph rolled her eyes, "Why don't you just save time and energy and chuck the poor girl into a convent now? While I do applaud your political correctness of including the possibility that Jules could be gay, who in their right mind is going to jump through all those hoops to date somebody?"

"Someone who is truly serious about her." Lester jumped in. "I wanted to be able to question them under Sodium Pentothal or waterboarding…but that got vetoed as being technically illegal and/or dangerous."

"Ok, I'm putting my foot down now. You will not be putting this baby through all of that. I will allow the age limits and the trackers and panic buttons as reasonable, but the rest of that is just complete over kill." She argued.

Of course we all started arguing with her. The seven of us men were just fine with the security measures Ranger had in place for Julie. However Steph was determined to rewrite them and not just for the baby, she thought Julie should have more freedom too. Suddenly the room was pierced by a loud, shrill whistle. "Did you just say baby?" Lester's father said with a huge smile.

"Of course she said baby. The Putana knows that she cannot keep both Lester and Carlito and their money without fully trapping them in her web." Jacinta Santos sneered. Her husband threw her a look that would have shut up Chris Tucker, but she didn't look apologetic in the least

"Madre, that is the last time you will call Stephanie anything even close to that nasty." Lester's voice was ice cold and steel hard. "That is, in fact, the last time you will call her anything other than her name."

Helen Plum gave Lester's mother a harsh glare. "What, exactly, did you call my daughter?"

"Mom, it's okay." Steph actually seemed almost unperturbed. "It is officially official. I am cosmically incapable of having a mother in law like me."

"That is not true, Sweety," one of Hal's mothers, Mona, spoke up. "You've got our son stepping outside of his safe, stodgy little box. So Cheryl and I will always be on your side. We were so very worried that he'd end up being as much of a judgmental old codger as his grandfathers were. Our Dads kicked us both out of their 'good Christian homes' when we told them we were in love."

"Wow, guess the misses the whole 'judge not' and 'God is love' portions of Christ's message." Edna Mazur muttered loudly.

Cheryl Richards cackled. "You know what makes it even funnier; they could argue for hours over which of them knew the bible better, but in the end…they both missed the most important message."

My mom just gave my Angel a little smile. "I don't know you well enough not to like you. You seem like a truly kind person, and from the stories my son has told me, you are definitely a force to be reckoned with." She took a deep breath before she continued. "I know why my sons haven't wanted to have children, their Daddy was a bastard and I'm a weakling. But everything I know about you tells me that you, you're strong. I'd be pretty honored if, no matter who the baby's actual father is, if you'll, and your mom, of course, will let me play grandmother."

Stephanie had started to cry just enough that she couldn't get the words out. I was almost surprised that it was Bobby's mother who spoke up. When Frank had made sure that we'd all told our families about our 'novel' relationship, the look on her face had expressed more than mild distaste. "We'll just all be grandmas…but I claim the nickname 'Glamma' here and now."

That brought several chuckles from around the table. The tension broke, finally. Well except that between Ranger & Lester's mothers and their grandmother and fathers. Finally Isabella Ramos-Medeiros and Grandma Mazur had had more than enough. The two older women spoke to each other for a long moment before Abuela Isabella stood and said, "Jacinta, Lucia, Edna and I would like to speak with the two of you outside." Her tone brooked no argument. I'm a grown man, I make a damn good living protecting people and apprehending criminals and I've been in twenty three different war zones, literal war zones…and if Abuela Isabella had given me that cold a look and spoke to me in that cold a tone to me, I'd have wet myself. It was that harsh. And her daughters actually looked for a second like they were going to object.

But then Grandma Edna chimed in. "Unless you'd prefer that we say what we want to say right here and now, in front of all of everyone."

Lucia Medeiros Manoso looked at the small, little old white woman. Unlike those of us who knew better, there was no fear in her eyes. "You know nothing of me…there is nothing you can say that would cause me any harm."

"Perhaps, Edna doesn't know you, but I do my darling daughter. Perhaps it is time that Carlito and Lester learn the true stories of how their mothers met and married their fathers?" Isabella said threateningly.

I have never seen two grown women hop to their mother's command that fast in all my life, and I have seen Steph and Val when Helen called them to the table for dessert. The four women exited the small room we were dining in. As soon as they left, their husbands tried to apologize to the rest of us for their behavior. "It is hard for them to understand the closeness between Lester and Carlos…it has always been this way." Canto Manoso said with a long suffering sigh.

"Jacinta hates that Lester is closer to Carlito than he is to his own brother or sister. Or to his mother." Cayo Santos told us honestly.

"Remember when Lester came home from kindergarten proudly displaying the first list of words he has spelled completely correctly all by himself." Canto began only to dissolve into laughter.

"His name was first, followed by Carlito, Abuela and only then did he have Mami. Jacinta was so angry she tried to throw it into the trash. Lester wouldn't allow it. He gave it to his Abuela for her scrapbook." Cayo finished for his brother in law. "Now, Estefania, Canto and I are fully behind you. You have our full support. Since you have come into their lives, we have seen our sons more often than we did in the entire decade before. Never doubt that for that alone we love you." He said sincerely.

Again I found myself surprised by the fact that Bobby's mom cosigned the statement. "I've gotta admit, when Robert first told me about this arrangement, I was…I felt a lot like those poor women out there. But the truth is that the time is long since passed since I can tell my son how to live his life. So I went online and I looked you up, Stephanie. First I found out about your first husband and I wondered how any woman could bring herself to marry a grown ass man who called himself 'Dickie'. Then I read about how quickly the two of you divorced. Then I had to dig and dig and dig to find out the reason for the quick turnaround. There is a blog of women, all anonymous, who hail you as a heroine of the 'Burg…whatever that means. But they told the background of why you divorced so soon after getting married. I have to tell you, my opinion of you went up. If that had been me, I'd still be sitting in somebody's jail cell."

"Preach, woman." Mona Richards laughed. "Double homicide with a smile on my face."

Bobby's mom and the more vocal of Hal's mothers exchanged high fives over the table. Helen looked like she would have loved to sink under the table…we all pretty much knew that the Dickie Marriage had been her fault. "Sorry, anyway as I was saying. I read all the news articles about Bombshell the Bounty Hunter and after I cut through more BS innuendo and insinuation than Fox News…I found the story of a fierce young woman who was smart, and savvy and strong. A young lady with integrity and cunning. Do I wish that you belonged to my Bobby and him to you alone? Yeah, I kind of do…but I don't want him dying trying to keep up with a nymphomaniac or have you get sick and slowly killing yourself trying to sublimate your nature or you bringing something incurable home when it all got to be too much. I guess I said all that to let you know that you have another mother in law who is truly in your corner…unless you hurt my baby…then all bets are off." She finished with a laugh.

Stephanie had tears running down her face and couldn't seem to get her words past the lump in her throat. "Thank you." She finally got out. "It means a lot that you can see past what they write about me in the papers. Most people see those articles and think I'm just an incompetent bumbling idiot."

"No." Cheryl Richards spoke her voice quiet, and yet so intense that it carried throughout the small space. "Those people may think they know you...but I think that everyone at this table can honestly say they know you far better, even those of us who are just meeting you tonight. From my Hal I know that you are strong and caring…that you stand up for those who aren't. I know that you are willing to put yourself in harm's way to help others. So often when men do that…they are lauded as heroes, but when a woman does it, it is because she is either selfish or hates herself. But the truth is that there are just people we love more than ourselves. I love my children. I would give my life for them. I love my Mona and I will always put her life and happiness above my own. There is nothing wrong with that."

The fact that I spoke up at all in mixed company surprised everyone there…even myself. "Thank you. Stephanie is like that. She puts her family before herself, and she puts us before herself. Angel always worries about not just us, but all her 'Merry Men'. She takes care of us…some of us have never had anyone outside of our blood kin, and in a lot of cases not even them, who are willing to care about us like Steph. Long before we got together, if one of us ended up in the hospital, she would go out of her way to come and visit us…even though she hates those places with a vengeance."

"Oh darlin' then you'd better hope for a vaginal delivery…otherwise you'll be stuck in your own version of hell for four days to a whole week." Hal's sister, Myra told Stephanie with a grin. She was a labor and delivery nurse. I know that Bobby was itching to talk to her. Her teasing statement broke the lingering tension.

Unfortunately it was broken again when Mrs. Manoso and Mrs. Santos returned to the room followed by their mother and Angel's scary grandma. "Stephanie, we both owe you an apology. We are being judgmental shrews and you have every right to keep us from our grandchildren…we only ask that you please give a chance to make it up to you before this baby is born." Lucia said sincerely.

Jacinta stood there wringing her hands until Lucia poked her, hard. "Luc is right. You don't deserve our condemnation. And we definitely shouldn't be calling you names and behaving as if we were without sin ourselves."

There was still a tension in the air that was grating on the nerves of everyone there, but in the end it wasn't Angel who broke it. "Ok so now that apologies have been rendered and I believe accepted, Stephanie…what will you be doing now that you're no longer going to be bounty hunting?" Helen asked. It seemed like a good question, and to most people it was even innocent. I think that all of us who knew them though, we heard the almost sickening joy in her tone.

Stephanie exchanged looks with Ranger and again with Lester. We'd only made the determination of her new, amended job description earlier that day. "Mom, just because I'm not actively going out after the FTAs myself, I'm still the head of the Apprehension Research department and the VP of Financial affairs."

"Oh, well, I guess I just supposed that you'd…" she trailed off.

"For God's sake, Helen, she isn't going to morph into a 'Burg/Stepford wife just cause she got knocked up. Did you miss the sixties and seventies? These days 'Sisters are doing it for themselves'." Edna laughed at her daughter. "You've been doing so much better lately, but times like this; I swear your father dropped you on your head."

"Besides, if she does miraculously morph into a Stepford wife, I'll never get to take my grandson fishing." Frank groused.

"Daddy, I'm trying…but I hope that you won't be too disappointed if the baby is a girl." Angel said worrying her bottom lip.

Frank gave his baby girl a smile that immediately eased the worry in her eyes. "I might not have said it enough, but you have never, and you couldn't ever be a disappointment to me. If your baby is a girl, well, I'll bet dollars to donuts that you will let me take her fishing." The censorious glare he threw his wife allowed the whole table to know that he'd have taken Stephanie if he could have.

Of course, the tears came, happy tears. The rest of the dinner was filled with them. For the first time I really didn't mind seeing my Angel cry.

_Stephanie Point of View_

So I don't know how long I can stand being pregnant. I mean, okay the bigger boobs are definitely nice. The constant great skin and my hair behaving for more than two days in a row is awesome…but I don't know if anyone knows this about me, but I am so not a patient person. And pregnancy is basically just a study in patience. You have to have patience to make it through all the hormonal mood change things, and I'm not just talking about the fun ones either. I can take exhausting all seven of my lovers…it's a little embarrassing but it's even more funny. I can even take the crying at the drop of a hat, at a gather the family together and share our amazing news dinner, because my lovers' mothers gave me love and acceptance in a way I'd never felt it before. But I have to draw the line somewhere, and the line is drawn at the stupid Extra gum commercial that isn't even sad, just really, really sweet, but it makes me cry anyway. Then you have to have patience to actually get through how long you have to wait to actually have the baby. Really, I've already figured out the whole mother's love thing, I totally love the baby already and he or she is only the size of a jelly bean…unless its Tank's then it is the size of a thumb or something. So I love my jelly bean, but I can't meet my baby for another millennia of months. It is driving me crazy.

As we rode to Dr. DiBenditti's office, to find out if all the dietary restrictions had been needed, I couldn't help but think that I'd really not has as much trouble following those rules as I would have thought. I hadn't even tried to go to Tasty Pastry or Cluck-in-a-Bucket in the last month. To be honest, I hadn't even had a really bad Pino's craving…and the one little one I did have was just for the marinara sauce he puts on the meatball subs. The thought of the sub itself didn't even pique my interests. Granted, I think this was the healthiest I've ever been in my whole live, and I couldn't button my jeans. But the bean was totally worth it. I was accompanied on today's visit by both Tank and Hal…and, of course, Dr. Fate himself. Bobby and Maddie had reached an agreement last visit, if Bobby brought in his records for me during the four weeks between each appointment, she would amend my file and all I would need to do was the lab work. So my visits were super quick. I still had to strip and let Dr. Di look at my whoohah, but I was determined not to whine about it.

Tank and Hal were both there because they would be the most likely candidates for father if the baby was very large. Cal would have been in the running as well if he hadn't chosen not to have children. His mother and brother had pulled me aside and talked to me while they were in town for the dinner. I could honestly say that I could understand why he chose not to pass on his father's genes. There were times in the past when if I was just Helen, I'd have had some similar thoughts…but I've never been just Helen. I'm Frank, and Edna, and some Harry, I'm a lot Grandpa Plum, and even some Gramma Plum…but only a little bit of Helen. I'll admit though it definitely killed off some weird little bit of unrecognized, involuntary resentment…I guess for taking himself out of the running for something I didn't even know or think I wanted until long after it was gone. Hell I hadn't even known Cal when it had been a possibility. The human mind is a strange thing.

Talking with Simpson and Clarissa had also led to a late night discussion between Cal and I. His family wanted to move to Trenton to be close to the baby. Cal both loved and hated the idea. He loved his family, but he was very worried that he loved them best from a far. I reminded him that the more of my JLS that had family in the area, the less often we'd have to have dinner with my family. And while I love them, and my mother was a lot better…the simple fact was that they hadn't gotten any saner. Grandma had been arrested in the last month, both times for pinching the backsides of men she thought were Rangemen. Once of them had been a security guard at a club that doesn't utilize Rangeman and the second had been a male model who, admittedly, was almost hot enough to be a Merry Man. Thankfully the security guard had been willing to drop the charges for a shot at being a Rangeman. The Model had ultimately been worried that the AARP might get up his ass if he didn't drop his charges. Despite her promise that my men were safe from her still dexterous fingers, they still avoided her whenever possible. The thought that we'd be rotating family dinners convinced Cal to give his mom and brother the go ahead to move. I think it also has Tank working on getting his mom to move her too. To be honest, I'd love it if she did. She runs a daycare out of her home…who would be a better nanny for my jelly bean than one of his or her grandparents.

Simpson had already scheduled an appointment to interview with the Trenton PD. They were currently down a homicide detective since one was not supposed to be allowed on the force with a dishonorable discharge from the military. Then there was the fact that Uncle Mickey really had not liked the fact that Morelli had interfered were he'd been told not to. The fact that he held Daddy and the rest of us from finding MA quicker than we had that night had officially been Morelli's cause for termination. The fact that he had held Daddy and the rest of us from finding MA even more quickly that horrible night is the reason that in the last few weeks, more and more Morelli's have been selling up and moving out of the 'burg.

As Maddie came back in with Dr. DiBenditti, I was forced to pay attention. "Now, we're going to do a transvaginal ultrasound today. That means that the good Doctor," Maddie gestured ala Vanna White, "Will be using a long, thin probe to check out the baby and try to see exactly what's going on in there." She gave me a wicked grin. "My vote is that you've actually just got a regular size baby, and the rest of that pudge is the revenge of all the Tasty Pasty you've stolen from the rest of us over the years."

I just rolled my eyes. I knew she was joking, the only person who ate more Boston Cremes than me was…well, Lula, but the only person who ate more of them than Lula was Maddie. Pretty sure if you cut her she doesn't actually bleed, she just oozes cream filling. I told her so, and felt avenged. She laughed and told me with total honesty that I may have thought I had gotten the last word, but she was the one who controlled the gel warmer for the regular ultrasounds. Knowing her as I did, she was probably planning to put that stuff in the freezer at least once during the whole pregnancy journey, all things considered it would probably be twice or three times. She owes me for more than a few comments over the years…if she remembers them.

"Yes, shall we take care of this? I would really like to know if we need to be concerned about fetal size." Dr. DiBenditti said with a slightly concerned grin.

I was already half naked and in position. I may have my own sexual issues, but this situation is the least sexy thing I've ever experienced. But before I knew it, my uterus was up on the TV screen. "Is that…my baby?" I asked. It looked like a blob on the screen. It didn't look like the ultrasound picture I had seen when I googled them.

"Actually, those are your babies." Dr. D chuckled. He pointed to two different blobules on the screen.

"Fraternal twins…that means two different eggs were fertilized by two different sperm…in your case it is even possible that each baby has a different biological father. Though I know it doesn't matter, they have seven daddies." Maddie jokingly explained.

"I thought babies are like little jellybeans." I muttered.

"Yeah, they are…at first. From this ultrasound, I'm going on record as saying that right now you're officially on your thirteenth week. Notice both babies are about the size of a largish peach. One fetus is a little larger than the other, but that may well just be because they differ in gender." He explained.

Unfortunately I was still way back behind the 8 ball. "So Two?"

"Yeah Plum…two." Maddie said slowly, as if she were talking to someone with a mental deficit…to be honest right that moment, she kind of was. "Good news, you officially have an excuse to go shopping immediately. Because you are going to start showing for real very soon."

"Yes. That is true. While you're at it, go ahead and start investing in flats, from now on, no heels higher than two inches." Dr. DiBenditti warned. "You'll also want to stick to the diet I gave you before, but add enough fruits, vegetables and lean meats to increase your caloric intake by another two to three hundred calories a day."

I was totally aghast. "Wait, you were serious about that…I haven't worn flats since my first communion." I gasped. "Even my work boots have a little bit of a heel."

"Well, I suppose it is a damn good thing that ballerina flats are all the rage. Weren't you and Lula just talking about that yesterday?" Bobby interjected.

I grumbled. I hate flats…except sneakers. But I guess I can do it for my baby. Dr. DiBenditti asked me something that he had to repeat because I was mentally railing about the injustice of having to wear flats for the next five months. "I asked," he said calmly, "if you were having any trouble sticking with the healthy foods I'd prescribed last visit."

I shrugged. "It's kind of weird how easy it has been. These guys have been trying to get me to eat healthier for years, but suddenly it's no problem to not eat sweets or fatty snacks. I even was craving Tastycakes and stuff to a certain extent right up until my last visit, and then…they pretty much went poof. And when I tried to eat them just because I can be a little stubborn, I didn't even really mind that I got sick."

"Sounds like you just find it easier to eat well since the babies are relying on you for their wellbeing…I see it a lot with expectant mothers. Often they are able to carry that change over into their lives best if they breastfeed as well." He told us with a smile.

Tank, Hal and Bobby were all smiling so big, I'm sure that it hurt their faces. But it was the highest ranking officer in the room who asked. "When can we know the genders of the twins? When they are like this they can be different right?"

"Yes, they can have differing genders. I can tell you, if they are willing to cooperate, during Stephanie's next ultrasound which we'll schedule for the appointment after next."

"Is there any chance we can go ahead and make that appointment today so that we can clear all of our schedules?" Hal asked hopefully.

Maddie gave him a little grin, "that depends…are there any more like you back home?"

Hal blushed a bright red. "I only have a sister, sorry."

I thought about it for a second. "Yeah, but is Junior seeing anyone?" I asked the three of my men present. He was nicknamed Tank Junior, because he was younger and somewhat smaller…that's like comparing a big huge tank, with a medium sized huge tank. I threw a glance over at my old friend. "He's just two years younger…he's black though…"

"Oohh…I've never been with a black guy before. Is he as sweet as your guys have been?" Maddie asked with a little smirk.

"Junior's a good man." Bobby assured her. "As of his last physical, he was also single."

"Little Girl, you're turning into quite the matchmaker." Tank chuckled after the doctor and Maddie left the exam room for me to get dressed to go. "First you hook Woody up with Russell, hear they're next date is date number four…"

"He had better be good in bed. If he isn't, I will lose all kinds of street cred." I said seriously.

"Baby, you're a white girl from the 'Burg, you don't have any street cred." Bobby taunted back.

I rolled my eyes. "I managed to get the hottest seven men in existence as my lovers. I managed to hook two of my friends up with guys on the very next rung down the latter of hotness, and about to do it again with a third…trust me when I say that I have all the street cred a woman needs."

Before they could come up with a return comment, Maddie walked back in with two appointment cards. "Ok, we'll see you in four weeks for a regular checkup." She handed Bobby the first card, "and in eight for the ultrasound." She handed Hal the second small card. Then she pulled a card out of her bra…lucky bitch has been a very full C since sophomore year of high school. "And this is my number for your friend." She handed that card to me. "If he is as hot as your guys, I'll forget about that little incident in sixth grade when you let me take the heat for the tapioca pudding in Joyce Barnhart's bra."

"You brought the pudding to school." I defended.

"Yeah, but Mary Lou was the one who distracted Joyce and you were the one to actually put it in her bra." Maddie reminded me.

I rolled my eyes. "I still don't think you should have gotten into any trouble anyway. She loved all the attention she got walking around the school in her tight shirt with no bra on…dirty skank."

"Agreed." Maddie countered. "But I still had to serve detention over it."

"Fine. Junior, or someone equal level of hotness and good guy quality…any other requests?"

Maddie looked thoughtful, "Actually, think you can keep it to a black guy or maybe Latino…" she murmured. "That's not racist, is it?"

Tank laughed, "It's not racist, but it can be addictive." He teased her.

"I'm willing to take that chance. God knows that the guys I've dated in the past have all been duds. In the words of Edna Mazur…lord help me I'm quoting Steph's crazy grandmother… 'Forget wealth…it's just as easy to fall in love with a stud as it is to love a dud'." Maddie intoned.

"What, when did she say that?" I asked.

"When she was in her a few years ago trying to get the good Doctor to give her a prescription for Mr. Happy Get Happy pills for some guy she was seeing at the time. Those were her words of advice to me and Gina when we were bitching and moaning that we couldn't find anything but assholes to date." We all shared a laugh. "I not kidding. I should have tracked your ass down then and made you hook me up with one of the men in black then. Now get, I need this room for the next preggo lady to force my damn biological clock into hyperdrive."

We hit the door running, After all we had some news to share.

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><p>I hope that you enjoyed it. I had to put it out before I spent another month editing it, only to still be unhappy with it.<p>

Thanks and have a great day,

Illiandyandra


	24. Baby Gender Anyone?

**WHEN IT RAINS**  
>Illiandyanndra<p>

_**Stephanie Plum **_

**Pairings:** Stephanie/Ranger & Merry Men(Core Team)

**Spoilers:** Anything & everything up through Sizzling Sixteen is fair game…I can never remember what book what stuff happens in.

**^^Thoughts^^**

**^Spoken Aloud Thoughts^**

"**Speech" **

**AN:** Yes Spanish is still English in Italics. I cannot speak it, nor write it, so I won't torture you with any attempts.  
>Real Life has intruded in the best possible way. A long and rather difficult pregnancy resulting in twins of my own…Sorry for the long delay, I actually thought pregnancy would give me time to write. Then I got hit with Preeclampsia and bed rest. Thank you to all those who are still reading. Hopefully this chapter will make you feel as if your patience has been rewarded.<br>**Please take a moment and Check out My new Yahoo Group: Illy & Anni the link is available on my profile. **

**AN2:** Thank you to all my reviewers. Make me smile; tell me your favorite funny line from this story. Or tell me your favorite moment from it

To Celebrate my birthday, a gift for my readers! (Umm Didn't Make It)

Merry Christmas, A gift from Me to You! (Ummmm Didn't Make That One Either.)

**HAPPY NEW YEAR!** (I made this one)

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><p><em><strong>Lula Point of View<strong>_

Life in Trenton had calmed down considerably since Stephanie got pregnant. However, the slowing in crime and drama wasn't an accident. The men of Rangeman had put the word out. Don't start any shit anywhere that it could even indirectly affect Stephanie Plum. Hector had heard a rumor that some of the Slayers were trying to gather for some revenge since Steph was vulnerable. He disappeared from Haywood for a few days, next thing anybody knew all the Slayers that had survived Sally Sweet and miraculously evaded prison time, started turning up dead. That shit was even cosigned by the TPD who ruled the deaths 'an internal gang control struggle'. Even the Rissoli, Ramos and the Rosolli crime families had put the word out that no harm was to come at Stephanie while she was pregnant. Half the damn city was trying to make damn sure that her babies were born happy, healthy, whole and strong. Even Mooner and Dougie had gone to rehab. The figured Stephanie would never let them around the 'little dudes' if she thought the babies would get a contact high.

In the meantime, we had managed to fully establish and staff the 'Distraction' subsection of our department. We had three girls; one white, a tall leggy redhead with the whole 'girl next door' thing going for her, one black girl, short and curvy with tits that made a man's mouth water and an ass that made grown men cry, and one Hispanic chica with an hourglass figure and an accent she could turn on or off depending on the situation; all beautiful but all different. Rounding out that division we had Adrien and a friend of his name Vichon. Vichon was bisexual and more attractive than most dudes ever hoped or dreamed to be. Granted he had a little too much femininity to his face to reach Ram's, Tank's or Ranger's level of hotness, but the guy damn sure had it going on. Between the five of them they covered every possible kink or fetish. We also upped our research game so that we'd know who to send in in every situation.

But shit wasn't just on point in my professional life. Ram and I had been together for six months. The man was too damn good to be true. He really did get me in a way I still wasn't used to. We dated for a month before we actually slept together the first time. That isn't to say we didn't get down, Ramsey is a fucking master with his mouth and his hands and a girl can't make a decent living as a ho if she can't suck an elephant through a garden hose. So we were both satisfied as hell, but we took things slow and built some shit rather than trying to race to the finish line and ending up with a hot shitty mess like what happened with me and Tank. We talked through that shit and all the other relationships I'd been in since I gave up hookin' and Ram helped me see that part of my problem was that I'd somehow let myself start thinking like those bitter 'Burg bitches as to what constituted a respectable 'lady'. I couldn't just be happy with rediscovering Tallulah; I had to have a man…a committed man with a good job or whatever. So I tried to force shit that just wasn't meant to be.

Tank was meant for the home life he had. Somewhere where he could constantly have Ranger and Stephanie's backs. A life where he was taking care of the person he had basically given his 'ring' long damn time ago and the love that had shed lights on both of their souls. Ranger had been Tank's heterosexual life mate since those two left Ranger School. I was trying to come in between some shit I didn't, couldn't, understand. Until I was finally able to really put Stephanie's needs in front of mine the way she did for me, I was just her friend…but eight months after leaving Vinnie's and beginning my job at Rangeman, I would always have her back the way Tank has Ranger's.

That was why I found myself in the Burg that cold afternoon. Valerie Plum-Kloughn was the only one who hadn't gotten the message about making shit easier for Stephanie. She'd given birth to a baby girl who looked like Morelli had cloned himself as a female. The birth had actually been an easy one. Not surprising considering that the bitch has popped out three other beautiful little girls before the current one. However Valerie wasn't happy with the fact that her last daughter was happy and healthy…no, she was upset because her second husband was divorcing her and she had no one to blame this time. Now if she was just taking that shit like a real woman…she had done the crime, she might as well make the best of doing her time…we'd be cool. But no, Valerie Plum couldn't just admit she was wrong and roll on through. Instead, as soon as she finished her 'Burg demanded two months of maternity seclusion after her latest baby; Val made it her purpose in life to start spreading bullshit all through the 'burg that Albert, who had custody of all three of the older girls, had deserted her and the new baby. The stupid bitch was also trying to claim that there was something improper in the fact that Albert wanted custody of all three of the older girls.

Albert was now part of the Rangeman family. Guillermo was working with Big Al on his litigation cat might look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy and sweat like a pig, but he could write a contract that the devil himself couldn't find a loophole in. He'd looked over the Rangeman employment contract and found two loopholes Ranger's lawyers had never realized could have subjected them to lawsuits. Ranger then had him look over the partnership agreement that he had with his remaining silent partners and figured out some way that the Core Team could buy the others out in two years rather than five. The big boss man had been so grateful that he'd sent a bunch of Merry Men over to Kloughn's old office and moved him out of the strip mall and into one of Ranger's other commercial buildings. And he now rented a three bedroom apartment in one of the residential buildings Lester owned…granted I wasn't supposed to know that Lester actually owned it. But I had done a little bit of looking into the portfolios of the core team. They were dating my girl and hadn't limited my access in to the Rangeman search engines…had to make sure they could all take care of her not just the Head Cuban In Charge. But suffice it to say, Albert was one of us now and we take care of our own. It was decided among the core team that something had to be done to stop the shit flinging the bitch was doing. Of course, since I was the only female in the know, it fell to me to actually confront Saint Valerie. One would think that she would have lost any and all clout she may have had in the neighborhood when her own mother stopped coming over and her father wouldn't step foot into the house, just left the care packages and groceries that the Plums brought for her and the baby on the step. But the 'Burg Bitches were all dumber than they all seemed to think those of us not from their exalted neighborhood were.

I rang the bell and wondered for a second how the hell Valerie had managed to keep the house payments up on this place with Albert gone and paying his rent elsewhere. That was something to look into; supposedly her rat bastard of a first ex-husband wasn't paying any of the child support he was supposed to be ponying up. But if she was enough of a crazy bitch to cheat on her husband with her sister's boyfriend and plan to continue doing so after boyfriend turned to husband…she was dishonest enough not to tell her second husband about any money that was supposed to go to supporting the children he now had custody of. That was something I'd look into as soon as I got my ass back to Rangeman.

The door swung open and Val looked at me like she had never seen me before. "Sorry, I'm not into Avom or Mary Jay or whatever you're selling.

"Good thing I'm not here to sell you shit then isn't it Val?" I said with a smirk. I gently brushed past her into the house. "I'm here to talk to you about this smear campaign you've got going about Albert and your sister."

Her eyes narrowed. I couldn't help but note that they weren't as pretty as Skinny White Girl's. While shaped the same, Valerie's eyes were a sort of washed out, faded sky blue. "You're Lula, that prostitute that hangs around Heffy Steffy, you lost some weight…I mean not nearly enough. You're still kind of fat."

"Bitch please, you've spent your last two pregnancies mainlining gravy, you can't call anybody who doesn't have a show on Bravo fat." I scoffed. I was in shape now; I didn't have to get mad at people for calling me fat no more. It wasn't true and I knew it. I was still a big, beautiful woman, and a nice strong size eighteen; sixteen if it was cut right; but I wasn't the twenty-six or twenty-eight I had been when I was squeezing into my old ho clothes. "Besides, you need to get a former in front of that prostitute. And if I were you I wouldn't start throwing stones, your ass is one act of kindness from turning tricks your damn self."

She tossed that bottle blonde hair and looked down her nose at me. "I have far too much self-respect to ever become like you."

"Your 'self-respect' is just a figment of your imagination. Nobody with self-respect fucks some jackass behind her mom's kitchen while her husband is inside with the kids." I rolled my eyes. "I know your type, Saint Valerie; even before you came back to Trenton you were living a big ass lie. You were never as perfect as you wanted everyone to think. Everything you did was based on how others would see it. You let your husband ball you once a week and on special occasions to 'keep him happy'. You keep your house perfectly clean and run all the PTA shit so that the working moms feel inferior and shut out. But then since you don't have any money of your own, you have to blow hubby to get him to buy you another piece of shit you only want so that you can compete with your neighbor women who are all blowing their hubbies to try and out do you…you've already been a ho, just one with a smaller client base. But I didn't come here to compare housewives to hookers, or to point out when you started banging a man other than your husband you slipped from ho straight to slut…I came here to tell you that if you don't stop trying to poke at Steph and Albert through your precious 'Burg grapevine, there will be consequences and repercussions."

"Are you threatening me?"

I shook my head. "I don't need to threaten you Val. You ain't shit. I don't bother to threaten people who ain't worth shit and ain't bout shit. In fact I'm just here to let you know that you are fucking yourself in the game. You're fucking with people who are far more loved than you. You might still have some backing in this little half mile area of Trenton, but Steph and Big Al, they're backed by all of Rangeman, the entire Trenton Police Department and more people than you even know. Plus too, if I hadn't needed to come here today to tell you to cease and desist spreading spurious and false rumors about your very soon to be ex-husband and sister you will find yourself facing the full weight of the entire Rangeman legal team. Slander is a very actionable offense."

"Albert can't divorce me. Otherwise Angie and Mary Alice's custody will revert to me. He isn't their father…and on top of that he will have to pay me child support for both Lisa and Francine. I'd planned on speaking to a real attorney about that in a week or two."

I laughed dead in her face. "You know good and damn well that Francine isn't Albert's child. That baby looks like Morelli spat her ass out."

"How vulgar. If Francine looks a little darker than Lisa, she must just look like Daddy." She tried to brazen.

"Good thing Albert is a smart little dough boy. That baby was DNA tested before she ever left the hospital. In the words of Maury…Albert is not the father. You try for child support, it will be put forth in the court and your whole 'Burg will know for sure that you're an adulteress." I smirked. "And don't act like Albert didn't formally adopt both MA and AngelBaby. Hence why the family court judge could and did give him custody during the divorce proceedings. Well, that and all the cops and Rangemen that testified that you were singularly unhelpful when MA was being stalked and kidnapped."

She looked confused. Maybe Albert was more canny than any of us gave him credit for. But she was related to Grandma Mazur and SWG…even if I could forget that shit half the time. She tried to brazen through. "That will have to be over thrown, Steven never signed anything."

I smirked. "Child abandonment means that he has no further rights to those girls. Albert didn't need his signature on shit." Damn I loved night school. I had learned a lot of shit about family law and shit since I'd started taking classes. Best of all that shit was all online, so I barely ever had to go into an actual classroom. I saw a look in her eyes and decided to chase my earlier theory. "Of course, if he is paying child support, and you've lost custody but kept taking the money, both he and Albert can sue your ass. I hope that real attorney you were going to see is a damn good one who can handle both civil and criminal cases…after all child support fraud is a crime." She started looking like a fish out of water. I heard a baby start to cry from upstairs. "You go see about little, Francine wasn't it, I'll see myself out." I said calmly. I hoped that I made my point. Actually, I really hoped that I didn't. I would've loved to see Saint Valerie's halo tarnished. She would see how quickly her precious 'Burg would turn on her ass then.

I hot footed my ass back to Rangeman, I had some snooping to do. I wondered for a second if Hector could hack the family court records. I shook my head. I knew he could, all I would need to do is tell him what I wanted and we'd have even more ammo to use to keep Valerie Plum corralled. I hoped that Skinny White Girl and her JLS would be back by the time I returned to the office. I wanted to know what that fine ass doctor of hers had to say.

_**Ranger Point of View**_

The days between the appointment where we found that we were having twins and the appointment when we could finally find their genders seem to both fly and crawl. Stephanie's department had been expanded and was making the company money at an astounding rate. We were already making moves to have similar setups in Atlanta, Miami and Boston. Technically my Babe had another niece, but she had only seen her twice. Once at the hospital when we'd been securing the material to have the baby's paternity determined and once when Helen had been babysitting and called Stephanie and Edna over for lunch. That kid was a Morelli all the way through. I did have to admit she was going to be a beauty, I just hoped she didn't inherit her morality from her mother or father. It would take Helen's or Harry Mazur's sense of 'thou shall not enjoy life too much' to combat the poor kid's genetic predisposition to just do what felt good no matter who it hurt.

On another annoying front, mi Madre and Tia were both behaving. They were not as kind as Hal, Cal, and Bobby's mothers but they no longer called my Babe names nor were they obvious in their disapproval. I am sure that I knew what Abuela had threatened them with, after all I have access to my file, and the background check that was done on my family was extremely thorough because I was only a generation removed from Cuba…an American enemy. Neither my mother nor her sister, and partner in crime, had any room to judge my Babe. Even including all her JLS, Stephanie has only had a total of less than ten lovers…according to their file, my mother and aunt had beaten that record in one night before they met Papa and Uncle Cayo. There were things that they had done that are still illegal even in Thailand. I shook off the disquiet those revelations still brought forth and focused back on the paperwork I was trying to get off my desk before we left to go to Babe's appointment.

It have surprised most of us that Stephanie was originally leaning towards not knowing in advance the babies genders, but the rest of us had been very persuasive. In truth, we really only augmented her already very prevalent curiosity and she soon agreed that knowing in advance was the best way to go. Lester had also pointed out that shopping knowing what we were having would be a lot more fun than trying to stick with 'ambiguous' colors. I had taken her to Melvin. The Carpenter had started on about which woods were best for what kind of cribs and before I knew it he had wrung the promise from her that she would find out what she was having and let him know. He would then build her the best nursery furniture anyone had ever before built. She cried, he hugged her and told her that he couldn't so anything less for Frank's little girl.

As I waited for the appointed time to roll out to the doctor's office, I was able to finish my paperwork and catch a nap, so time moved swiftly and it was soon time to leave. It was a rather well kept secret among the seven of us who lived with Stephanie that she was slowly but surely killing us with her sexual demands. Her normal level of 'Hungarian Hormones' had been perfect. Layering Jelly donut and pregnancy hormones on top of her already impressive sex drive was proving a bit much even for the seven highly fit, highly trained men that we were. As such whenever we could sneak in a nap, we did so. I straightened my clothing so no one would realize I had been asleep on my couch until Tank called to remind me of the time. Stephanie was waiting on us by the elevator. Since this was a milestone appointment, we were leaving Ram and Woody in charge at the office and all of us were going with her. A fact which her friend Maddie was quick to tease her about, "How on earth are we going to get all this man meat in one room…then again I want to know how the hell you get it all in one bed?"

Stephanie groaned. "It custom made and if you are about to start in on wanting to watch, I'm going totell you the same thing that I tell Lula, you cannot afford the price of admission."

"Oh, I don't have to see it live. A DVD will be just fine." Maddie laughed. "Okay, Brown, you come back for the preliminaries, and then you can come and get the others for the big show."

I stood and helped Stephanie stand. She wasn't showing to the point that she couldn't rise without assistance, but she her center of gravity was enough off kilter, that it was just quicker if one of us helped her to rise. I didn't let the smile that that thought caused. Babe may hate my blank face, but it had taken Lester three days to get back into her good graces the last time he had made a crack about her walk becoming a waddle. Then the idiot had actually asked the rest of us to risk her wrath by interceding on his behalf. 'No man left behind' is all well and good when on the battlefield…but in dealing with pregnancy hormones and jelly donut hormones…it was every man for himself. The appointment itself was routine. Piss in the cup, weight, blood pressure; insert as many one liners as Maddie could get away with. The obligatory 'I broke the last Merry Man you let me play with, can I please get another' banter. She didn't break them per se, but I was beginning to wonder if there was something in the water in the burg that October. She had worn poor Junior out so bad Bobby had forced him to take two days off line with no outside world contact after spending a weekend with our Babe's friend.

"Alright, Stephanie, you've made it to twenty one weeks. You've gained twenty three pounds so far. I would like to see you maintain this weight until our next appointment. Currently you should only be at around eighteen additional pounds, so we want you not to go up anymore before the next time I see you." Dr. DiBenditti told her with a small smile. "You need to continue to incorporate plenty of iron into your diet, as your babies are using most of the iron that you take in. Dark fruits and vegetables, eggs, chicken, dried fruits, wheat germ, oatmeal, spinach, and other leafy vegetables are all good sources of iron."

Bobby made notes and looked up quickly. "Steph doesn't think we've noticed, but she has been experiencing some constipation."

"Bobby…Really." She groaned. It still struck me as interesting and endearing how easily Babe gets embarrassed. She looked at her doctor. "It's not a problem. Ella, our housekeeper, found me a great home remedy that has helped a lot. It's some flaxseed oil mixed into orange juice. I have a cup every morning just in case. I never want to repeat that shot glass of straight olive oil ever again. I mean it worked but no." She looked so fucking adorable sitting there shaking her head empathically. Pregnancy had rounded out her face a little and her breasts were very pleasantly swollen and amazingly tender and sensitive. I loved the fact that her ass was even plumper, but other than those noticeable changes and her very rapidly rounding belly, Babe was in better shape now than before she'd gotten pregnant. She was swimming every day and doing prenatal yoga three times a week. Steph was doing everything she could to be a good mom. I know that it was one of her biggest worries…but it was a groundless fear. "But I have a question…my mother said that the babies can hear now and we should tone down our, you know…bedroom activities. How am I supposed to do that? I'm ready to climb the walls half the time and I'm trying to take it easy on the guys, I mean I heard that Ranger got caught napping on a stakeout. Ranger, for Christ's sake. It's just that I can't have any processed foods, I can't have sweets. And you have no idea how fucking badly I want some dark chocolate…like the super-rich, barely sweetened dark chocolate. I don't even like dark chocolate, unless you're pouring it over cheesecake. On top of that about two weeks ago something went all haywire inside me and I started running seven of the most fit, most virile men known to man into the ground."

My heart stopped when I realized that she'd known all along that we weren't doing quite as well in the face of her hormones as we wanted her to think. It broke when she started to cry. I crossed to her uncaring of the doctor and nurse between us. Fortunately both were smart enough to get out of my way. I pulled her into my arms and found Bobby right behind me. "Ssshh, Amante. All will be well. Perhaps what we all need is a small break. A week where all we have to concern ourselves with is taking care of the needs of our woman and our children."

"But what about work?" She asked looking up at me. "Lester, Ram, Hector and I are interviewing the prospective Boston distractions starting tomorrow. And I know that Hal and Cal have three training sessions scheduled for the new guys."

"Don't stress that, Bomber. We can easily clear our calendars for next week, I don't think second shift will mind if I push back their health evals a week. You're what's important…you and the babies. If us being at your beck and call day in and day out for a week will help you get over this hormone hump, that is what we'll do. It's not like it is any great sacrifice. After all, have you heard any of us complaining about your appetite?"

Of course she hadn't, we were very careful to only discuss it amongst ourselves when she was nowhere near by. Besides no real man would actively complain about his woman wanting more sex. All we said was that we needed more sleep, and to find a new position where we didn't end up with back cramps. Unfortunately we were all so well-endowed and went so deep in certain positions, we were scared that we'd hurt the babies. Especially Tank, it had taken a secret meeting with Dr. DiBenditti to convince him that he didn't need to live on just blow jobs until the babies arrived. It was easy to understand his concern considering that he had a dick that matched the rest of him. As I considered it, I came to the realization that the ass cramps probably had more to do with us trying to keep from going too damn deep into the heaven that was Stephanie's body than with being exhausted by meeting her extra needs.

I kept my face completely devoid of emotions as I thought back to two nights before. Babe had come up with a game. Naughty Good Girl caught in an empty classroom by several teachers after the last bell. Cal, Hector and Bobby had been at work, but the rest of us had a very pleasant evening making love to our woman over and over and over again. Right around the time the rest of us were ready to tap out, Hector and Cal had arrived with Bobby showing up not long after. My favorite point of the evening Stephanie had been riding my cock while sucking both Tank and Lester's cocks and being teased by Hal sucking her sensitive breasts. I was roused from my musings when Maddie and the Doctor herded us all to the ultrasound room. Bobby went to the waiting room and returned with the rest of our entourage.

"Alright, now this is the latest in ultrasound imaging. It makes both 2D and 3D images and will give us the best possible chance at seeing the babies genders, if they cooperate." He said with a grin. The whole process wasn't all that different from what they'd done to check for the number of babies in the first, but instead of the wand inside her there was a gel on her belly and what kind of looked like the handheld grocery store scanner sweeping through it. He pointed out their features, and their heartbeats thrummed throughout the totally packed room. He circled some things on the screen and clicked some buttons. "Alright both Baby A and Baby B look good, no noticeable deformities or abnormalities. Baby A is shy…he or she isn't moving to let us see what they are, but his or her bigger brother has no problem posing for the camera. Baby B is most definitely a boy. A very proud of himself with just cause boy."

"_Our son and his brother or sister are already as different as we all are." _Hector whispered reverently.

"Look at them." Stephanie too kept her voice low as to make the special moment last as long as possible. "They are so beautiful."

Cal smiled gently. "Of course they are, look at their mother." Each of her lovers reached out an connected with her. I grabbed her hand as did Tank, Lester and Bobby's hands tugged at her wild curls. Hal, Hector and Cal were all touching her legs. All of us trying to convey without any actual words, the depth and breadth of the emotions we were feeling both for her and our children.

Apparently the tension growing in the barely large enough to hold us all comfortably room grew a little thick for her, so Maddie broke the tension with a light but sultry laugh. "Kid already has a package. Hey Dr. Di…can I have the afternoon off? I so want to see Mr. Frank's face when she tells him there is at least one boy."

None of us could hold back our laughter at that thought. Frank would be more than happy to know that we were having two healthy babies, but the news that at least one of them would be 'a masculine child' would definitely make his day. His reaction was totally worth Maddie riding with us to the Plum household on her lunch break. She had the video and pictures that the Doctor had made and printed out for us and she refused to release them to us unless we took her with us. She walked into the house and headed directly to the living room and threw herself into Frank's lap as he sat in his armchair. "Mr. P…it's been almost twenty years since I asked you to leave Mrs. P and run away with me…when are we gonna hit a cabana somewhere sunny?"

"And I'm gonna tell you the same thing I did then…we can hit that cabana as soon as you find a way to stop being the same age as my daughter, and remove the memory of me having to give you a bath when you were seven and you, Mary Lou and my Pumpkin ate so much you threw up all over yourselves." Frank said with a laugh as he stood and hugged the feisty woman. "What are you doing here Cranberry?"

"Cranberry?" I heard Hal ask.

"Mr. P calls Steph Pumpkin, and Mary Lou and I demanded our own nicknames, when we were what…about six?"

"Yup. It was the summer before we started first grade." Stephanie agreed."It was all your fault too. It was in the midst of your 'why can't I have a normal name' phase."

"You loved my name. I loved yours." Maddie said with a shrug. "I liked your dad better too…that's the real reason I wanted him to give me a special nickname."

Frank pointed at Maddie. "Cranberry, sweet only to those she wants to be." His finger found Babe unerringly. "Pumpkin, hell…she was Pumpkin before she even got here. And Mary Lou is, was and always will be the sweetest Apple on the tree. They were all born within three weeks of each other fall of seventy-seven. From preschool through sophomore year of high school, they were thick as thieves. Then Cranberry's parents moved her to the catholic school and claimed that my Pumpkin was a bad influence on her." You could tell from the face he made how he felt about that. "The girls still managed to keep up with each other though."

"I am here…to show you a movie…and now I have to figure out how to threaten those hyenas to keep them from telling anyone that fall fruit based nickname." Maddie groaned.

"Madeline Turner, are you still harassing my husband after all these years?" Helen said as she came into the room. She looked around at all of us. "I heard you were a nurse…Oh…do we know?" she gasped happily before hurrying to the stairs. "Mother…MA…come down. Stephanie is here with her young men and Madeline. They have news."

I wondered for a second what Edna was even doing there. She had long since moved into Babe's old apartment. "Glad I came by to mooch lunch then." Grandma Mazur yelled loudly as she thundered down the stairs. "Maddie-gal…let me look at you. I heard from Gladys that last month you spent a weekend with a big, handsome, Latino guy but the month before you went away with an even bigger, but just as hot, Black man; how do the packages compare? My Baby granddaughter won't tell me anything about her men."

Maddie's eyes took on the same look she got whenever she was going to tease Stephanie. We all braced ourselves for what was sure to be an overshare. "Well…Junior, the Black dude, he was huge. We dated for a month and he still lasted the whole weekend. Caeser, the Hispanic man, wasn't too much shorter…just thinner. He made it through the month, had me convinced that the weekend would be no problem for him…but he only made it thirty six hours. Did Mrs. Gladys tell you about Brett, the white guy…thicker than both Junior and Caesar, but not as long as either…he was fine for the month, but made up some BS excuse to run home to Rangeman only twenty four hours into the weekend. I'm trying to convince Plum to give me another Merry Man to play with…but the Medic over there is concerned that I keep breaking them."

Tank laughed. "So what is it? The one that survives the weekend without needing medical attention is the one you're gonna keep?"

"Hell if he can make it through that shit, maybe she should trick his ass onto a plane to Vegas." Bobby groused. "And hell yeah I'm concerned, Junior was so damn dehydrated I had to run an IV."

Lester spoke up since Maddie was looking very unapologetic. "What about Zero? He's single now. Broke up with that stripper month before last because she never wanted to get adventurous. He's definitely her type, tall built, half black half Puerto Rican…Maddie looks like she'd be his type…just smarter than he usually goes for."

Having heard the siren's call of a new victim, Maddie passed Frank the DVD and pictures to sidle up to our Babe, "what's the deal on Zero?"

Frank stopped that conversation before it could get started. "Cranberry, get over here and tell me I'm seeing what I think I'm seeing?"

"Yes sir." I said just loud enough to be heard. "One boy and one too shy to let the Doctor see the gender."

"Brava Pumpkin." He shouted. "I've got me a grandson on the way, possibly two. The ahy one takes after you…you never did let the doctor even guess what you were going to be. Granted the technology was still really new back then and wrong as often as it was right, but you weren't showing your business for anything. Helen, we're gonna clean out the basement, I'm finally getting that man cave. Me and my grands are gonna need a place to relax." He was a very, very happy man as he went over and hugged Babe so tight I got worried for a second. "Pumpkin… you've made me totally ecstatic. Now you take Cranberry back to work, and drop your Grandmother off at the Cut and Curl or wherever she wants to go. Hell," he reached into his pocket and pulled out some cash. "Take her to Pino's on me." he laughed, kissed Steph and Maddie on their cheeks, shook all our hands as he made his way over to a blushing Helen.

As they disappeared up the stairs, I turned to Tank who pulled out his phone without me having to say a word. "I'll have Binkie intercept all the calls Mrs. Markowitz will make. I swear you'd think that given that she had kids and grandkids she would know the sounds of a man taking care of his woman."

"If you ever knew Jemma Markowitz, you'd understand." Edna crowed loudly as she locked the door behind us. "She's so frigid the only reason her husband didn't have palms hairier than Big Foot's was because he had a string of pretty little secretaries. In fact, that's how he died. Keeled over banging his last secretary at his desk on his lunch break."

"Really?" Steph and Maddie both gasped. "Mom said that he died from a heart attack at work." Stephanie pouted.

Tank chuckled. "She didn't lie. She just didn't tell you the scandalous part."

"The wicked combination of pastrami and cheating, the number one cause of death among 'Burg men for the last fifty years." Maddie said with a wicked grin.

"The pastrami got my Harry…he didn't have the energy to cheat." Edna cackled. "Married forty-five years, didn't miss a single night except when he had his appendix out and when I had Helen. Even then…you know, Baby Granddaughter, once you get past the icky part, you can get right back to business."

"She will need to wait the six weeks." Maddie argued. "The last thing she needs immediately after having twins is to get knocked up all over again. But that still leaves two other orifices…"

"I cannot believe that you are having this conversation when I'm standing right here." Stephanie shouted to cut Maddie off. It worked, but only because Edna and Maddie were laughing too hard to continue their conversation. Besides, it had accomplished their primary goal.

We piled into cars and headed to Pino's. Babe drove the Cayenne for me, which allowed each of us shot off texts to our family members and share our good news. While Babe was parking, Abuela shot me back a message. '_Francisco would honor many of his forefathers_.' I didn't even try to figure out how she knew that almost all of us had a Frank or Francis in our families.

As we headed inside, I scanned the parking lot for familiar cars. I was unhappy to note the cars of both Joyce Barnhardt and at least one of the few remaining Morellis. For the most part the 'Burg shunning had had impressive results. Most members of the huge family had followed the matriarchs when Bella and Angie moved to join another branch in Staten Island. Mickey had been made very welcome when everyone learned that he had given as much aid as he could to Rangeman in dealing with his son and nephew, Mooch. Mooch had done thirty days in county lock up for tampering with Babe's car, but because he'd only caused some property damage he couldn't be sentenced to more time. After he got out, he refused to move. No matter how untenable the people around him made things, he stayed. His cousin Anthony had made the same decision, despite the fact that his wife had taken their kids and moved to Newark. He was currently trying to hide from the service of his divorce papers. Joe had stayed in town as well.

The former Detective Morelli was unemployed and unable to find a job in law enforcement with the dishonorable discharge. Without a badge, but determined to stay at least peripherally on the right side of the law, he'd hired on with Sebring to act as a Bond Enforcement Agent. He'd been on his new job for just over three months. Les was still only sending him after the chump change skips. Unlike Vinnie, Les used his low bond skips as his training program. Rangeman had only done low bonds for two weeks before being bumped up to his 'capital level' bond enforcements. Morelli had found what all of Rangeman knew, low bond skips are twenty five times as much trouble as the high level ones. So far he has been covered in dog shit, marinara sauce, unfortunately only warm, grits, and more garbage that Babe ever rolled in. I sent him a box of Mylanta just for the hell of it. It would be best if Anthony was the Morelli inside the restaurant. However since Morelli's truck had been repossessed, he borrowed Anthony's and Mooch's vehicles to chase his skips. As such, there was no way to know for sure which one or more of them were there that day.

I shook off those humorous thoughts and noticed that there were also several black and whites signifying the presence of the LEOs. I could only hope that the cops there would at least be those in the know. Gaspick wasn't the only one who hadn't fallen in line with the current standard operating procedures. But he was the only one of the primary shift that hadn't…a fact that had seen him working the booking desk for two months straight. That was after he got into it with Gazzara over the ultimate decision not to pursue the investigation into the final decimation of the Trenton Slayers. Apparently 'Picky' voiced some disparaging remarks about Steph and Eddie beat the brakes off his ass. 'The Prick' was in the hospital for close to a week and on desk duty for another. IA wanted to bust Eddie down a paygrade, but Juniak had stepped in. Eddie had been suspended with pay for an equal length of time as 'The Prick' was on desk duty.

I had been grateful for him for having Babe's back, so I'd arranged for him and his family to spend his suspension in Orlando, with tickets for all the parks. Tank had found it hilarious the month before when Stephanie had informed us that Eddie and Shirley were blaming us for the fact that our twins would have another little cousin before they would be able to crawl. Every Rangeman that had been assigned to watch over the Gazzara Terrors have all been praying for a girl. Bobby wanted to point out to them that Stephanie had once been a little girl and she had jumped off a garage roof, but Lester pointed out that it would be a good surprise in a few years if we were still using Gazzara babysitting duty as a punishment. It was funny. I'd been looking for years for a good punishment for repeat offenders who didn't seem to mind mat time. One Rangeman had been to the mats with Tank and myself fifteen times for similar, minor, infractions; one night watching the Gazzara boys and it had been six months since he was late for a monitor shift.

I kept my face blank despite the smile that wanted to break through and held open the door for Edna, Maddie and Babe. "Well damn, all three of the horses patoots are here." Edna groused.

Sure enough at a table near our preferred booth sat Mooch, Joe and Anthony Morelli as well as Joyce Barnhardt and a blonde woman that looked like even more of slag than Joyce was reputed to be. "Three horses patoots and a horse fucker." Maddie cosigned. "And some chick who looks like she's fucked even more barnyard animals than Joycie."

"You comfortable staying here, Angel, or did you just want to hit Shortys?" Cal asked quietly.

Stephanie smiled and placed a hand on his cheek seemingly amused by his concern. "Cal, there are only three of them. Any one of you could make all three of them disappear without leaving the witnesses even sure that anything happened. Now, it has been months since I could walk in here without having to heave up everything I ate the week before. I want a meatball sub. I need a meatball sub. I am getting a meatball sub."

"You can have your meatball sub as long as you are having a salad with half and taking the second half home to have with a salad tomorrow." Maddie admonished.

Babe pouted but seemed okay with the compromise. It wasn't a conscious decision to surround the women in our party, to shield them from the bastards we would need to pass. Gazzara and Big Dog came over as soon as we sat in the booth pulling up chairs leaving just enough room for the waitress to be able to take our orders and place our food down. Maddie had made a conscious decision that she would act as a buffer between Edna and Hector on the far side of the booth, which mean that only Big Dog was available for the Mazur pinching fingers of death. I was surprised that lunch went smoothly. We could see that Morelli, Joyce and Mooch were talking about us, but Anthony and their companion refused to allow them to get loud or obnoxious. Maddie distracted Steph by pumping her for information on Zero and any of the other 'Merry Men' Babe thought might just pass the 'weekend test'. Edna added in her two cents about which of the men she had managed to get the drop on had the biggest packages. "I like that Zero fella, he's a good man. When M A was missing, you'd have thought she was his. He was so upset. Didn't rest until he saw that she was really and truly okay. Maddie-girl…I think he might just be man enough for you. If not, see if he wouldn't mind his partner Zip joining you. You having only two men, doubt the 'Burg would even bat an eye at that."

Maddie laughed, but looked thoughtful. "My dad would probably lose it entirely…but it could be worth it."

"Well, Zip is half German and half Haitian, between he and Zero, you'd have even more nationalities covered than I do." Steph teased. "And if your Dad gets too pissed off, you can just go back to calling Daddy, Dad like you used to whenever you and your dad got into fights when you were little." we all had to share a chuckle at that. All of us could easily imagine a very young Maddie trying to co-op Frank for her own daddy. Lunch passed quickly since most of us were as desperate for our woman as Frank had been for his. Joyous news deserves to be properly celebrated.

After our meal, I sent the rest of our party out to the trucks and made my way over to the Morelli table. Rather than saying anything, I stood next to the table, my eyes fastened onto Morelli's. "So what? You came to gloat, rub my nose in the fact that you have the life that was supposed to be mine?"

I smiled a bit, really just enough to irritate him. "Stephanie was never meant to be with you long term Morelli…if she were she would still be with you. You had far more time with her than you deserved."

Joyce piped in with her own opinion. "Stephanie Plum has always been a whore in sheep's clothing. She calls me a whore but I've never…"

"Just stop before you lie to yourself…that would be the only one in this entire restaurant that might believe you. For two dollars and fifty cents any one can see a video of you sucking a horse dick or taking a German Sheppard's up your ass." I cut her off easily. "You know that Stephanie has never been anything but a truly good and honest person. She hates you because you are disgusting and were long before you even started using your body like a commodity. What is truly funny in the saddest possible way is that you've become so debauched and debased that even Vinnie has stopped fucking you."

"Yeah well," Morelli drew my attention back to him. "It's funny as fuck that you've never been able to have her to yourself." He smirked. "First you were sharing her with me, now you're sharing her with your whole goon squad."

I chuckled. "So you should be thanking me. If you didn't have me to ease her tension…there is a good chance, she would have killed you. After all the one time she went off sugar with you, you ended up hiding from her after less than a full day. Whereas with us, she hasn't needed a sugar fix in months." I poked with a grin. "And what makes you think I never had her to myself. You spent so much time trying to force her into the mold she was never meant for that you were without her as much as you were ever with her."

"She's been mine since she was six years old." Joe stated as if that was something to be proud of.

I nodded. "I will give you that one. She was your victim when she was six, and again when she was sixteen. But she isn't anyone's victim any more."

"We were just kids back then. We were just playing." He defended.

"You were two years older and a hell of a lot more knowledgeable…that takes it outside the realm of kids playing and exploring. You were a cop, you know that. If I had been Frank, you'd have ended up on a fucking milk carton." I snarled. It soothed me a little to see the fear flooding the eyes of everyone at the table. I continued my previous statement. "She could have been your partner these last few years, but instead you undervalued what you had as she grew stronger and better and more than you can ever hope or dream to be. In her first two months as a BEA, she brought in over ten small bonds; she got you back into the system and cleared your name…as much as it could be cleared. You've not had a clear docket the entire time you've been working for Sebring. For all your vaulted 'training' you aren't as good at this job as my worst 'thug' let alone someone with the intelligence, instincts and adaptability of Stephanie Plum. It's time that you moved on Morelli…time you and your cousins head on up to Staten Island or over to Cape May. Leave and let her be happy."

Morelli stood up and shouted. "She can't be happy without me."

"No. You can't be happy without her. She is doing amazingly well at being happy without you."

I left him with that thought, and joined my men and Stephanie in the truck. We took Maddie back to the Doctor's office and drove back to Haywood. We texted everyone not currently living in the city, but my men…they deserved to hear it in purpose. I should have realized that telling my Abuela was the same as telling Ella. The two women had been close since long before I had been born. As soon as we hit the fifth floor, we were hit with thirty five voices raised in synchronized congratulations. Ella stepped forward with a medium sized gift bag. "To be honest I have three more of these on six, another blue and two pink." She told Stephanie with a big smile. "I'm so very happy for you."

"Tia Ella, you've been saying that pretty much every day since the doctor confirmed the pregnancy." Lester teased with a wicked grin.

Our shared pseudo aunt shot him an evil grin back, "I've been thinking it every day since you hung up your _man whore_ ways. I have always loved Stephanie, but I the fact that she rescued you from yourself before you could end up with AIDS or something worse…made me love her even more."

We all laughed at the simple truth of that. Except poor confused Hal, "What could be worse than an incurable disease that can lead to death?"

Hector answered for all of us. "_Being tied for life to a bitch of a whore who conspired to have your child, even more so if she is completely unfit, but able to convince a judge that she should be awarded massive amounts of support despite the child seeing less than one percent of what is set for the poor kid. Haven't you ever heard _Kanye's _Gold Digga_?"

Stephanie giggled as Lester finished translating for her. It was funny, but the truth of the matter was that it had been a consideration for us even before we'd amassed the level of wealth we had ultimately reached. Some women saw enlisted men as a paycheck that was conveniently absent much of the time. I suppose that I had lucked out with Rachel. She was a good person and an even better mother. Thanks to Stephanie and even to the jackass who had better be glad Julie's shot took him out of this world; if my men had gotten their hands on him, his death would not have been quick or painless; Julie Carlotta Manoso-Martine was no longer just another being in the world I shared DNA with, she was my child…my daughter. Even more, I knew her…I knew that her favorite colors were petal pink and black, and that her favorite food was Moros y Cristianos, and she thought that meant she would make a good vegetarian when she grew up. I knew that she loved that little jackass Bieber, but thought that he stole lesbian haircuts. Hell, I could finally remember her brothers and sister's names…all three of them. I held back a smile and joined in the conversation as Stephanie pulled several little outfits, including a miniature Rangeman uniform from the blue bag.

"Thank you so much everyone." She smiled with tears in her eyes. She hated how the surging hormones made her so emotional, the rest of us found it rather funny. None of us were stupid enough to say so.

Lula dragged Ram forward. "Oh, we ain't done, Skinny White Girl." She handed Babe a big ass, loud electric blue gift box. "I've got a feeling so, that there is for two baby boys, but the tags are on there, jic, ya feel me." Two more mini-Rangeman uniforms as well as a whole rainbow of little tee-shirt things, socks and two pairs of baby Jordans filled the box. "Gotta make sure my Nephews' get their swag on." She crowed. "Plus you just wait and see what I've got ordered for the shower."

"Oh, sorry no…Not doing the whole baby shower schtick. Not this Bounty Hunter." Stephanie started shaking her head vehemently.

Lula laughed. "Good luck with that. Your momma, grandmamma, Abuela Isabella, and Ella are already planning it and you can't say no to any one of them…let alone all four."

"Shit." Our woman moaned. "Fine…but we are not doing that fucking toilet paper game…I'm big enough without you all killing extra trees to prove it."

"I just want to make sure that they are planning on this being co-ed." Manny spoke up. "I've already started scoping out the best stuff for Wifey's little ones. Did you know that they make a stroller for twins that you can run with? Plus, I make the bomb ass seven layer dip."

"Hell yeah. I'll make my Mama's pasta salad." Caesar chimed in. "Bet you that you ladies are gonna love it."

Lester stopped and looked around at the wealth of love our woman engendered. "You all realize that Edna will be there right?"

Junior actually had already thought of a plan to combat that. "My granduncle just got kicked out of another home and his daughter asked me if I wanted to try my hand at keeping him under control. I already talked to Dillon, there is an empty apartment on the fourth floor of Bombshell's old building. I'm gonna move him in next month. If he can't distract Mrs. Edna, nothing can?"

Cal chuckled. "Yeah right…how is he gonna manage that? Duct tape her to a chair?"

"My granduncle was a porn star in the sixties…he was pretty much considered the black John Holmes. If he can't keep Mrs. Edna distracted with his old stories, trust and believe that he will be able to distract her some other way." We all shuddered.

"If Grandma goes missing at this thing, remind me not to go looking for her." Stephanie said with a wry grin.

"We'll send Blinkie." I assured her. "He's still being punished and Eddie hasn't needed a sitter in a few weeks."

Blinkie groaned. "I'm not the only guy here who has thrown a crack head out of a window."

Tank agreed. "Yeah, but you know the rules not above the third floor unless you know for a fact that you're at the fire escape. You were on the fifth floor of a slum that didn't have one at all. Little Girl doesn't like it when we throw crackheads outta windows."

Babe stopped and blinked. "You made that an actual rule?" we all laughed so long and so hard there was no hope of continuing any conversation after that.

_**Stephanie Point of View**_

After I proved yet again why Ranger had once told me that I was a budget line under entertainment, we headed back to the house. As soon as we walked in the door I sent the guys up to the playroom and went to take a shower. Since I'd really started showing, I'd sort of stopped feeling shower sex sexy…most of the time. As I cleaned up, I realized that for the first time in my life I had boobs. That gave me a great, naughty idea. After I lotioned my skin until it was almost slippery, I waddled into the other room and found a pair of rose satin and lace tap pants. I wiggled them into place, leaving them under the growing swell of my belly, but pulling them higher on my hips and burgeoning ass. Normally I would throw on a pair of sky high, fuck me pumps, but that was a no go after my center of gravity had changed. The most I got away with were my two inch heels. I slid my feet into a pair of black low heels and climbed up to join my loves.

They were all lounging around completely naked. That was traditionally how we all stayed in the playroom. If we weren't in a costume for role playing, they were naked and I was, at least, in some sexy lingerie. I wondered how different things would be once the babies were here. I knew that one of us was going to have to give up their private space for a second baby room. I'd heard horror stories about one twin waking the other enough to know that even if it was less convenient for feedings it was definitely better for hopefully getting some sleep before the babies were a year old. Then there was the simple fact that for six weeks after they arrived, we'd be some very frustrated people. But I wasn't sure if we'd need to make some changes anywhere else.

But it really wasn't the time for thoughts like that. "Alright Gentlemen…there is one thing I've wanted to try that I never thought I would be able to do. I saw it in the porno we rented for Mary Lou's bachelorette party. But I've got Boobs…probably for the only time in my life. I want to see if I can do that whole, you know, using my boobs rather than my hands or mouth thing or not."

The room stopped, looking around it was as if all seven pairs of their eyes had filled with fire. "Oh hell yes." Lester said scrambling to get onto the bed and flat on his back. "I've got first."

"Not going to happen. You got first when Steph decided she wanted to try to spankings as foreplay." Tank growled.

Hal agreed. "And last month when she agreed to let us make an ice cream sundae on her. In fact Lester, I think you should have to go last."

There was a swell of agreement to that. It was true. Lester had an almost uncanny ability to call dibs before the rest of us even realized that there were dibs to be called. There was still a quick discussion as even Hector seemed keyed up to try it. So much so that the guys agreed that he could be first. I tried to walk sexily over to the bed…if a five month pregnant woman can walk sexily. Hector was splayed in the middle of the huge bed, his legs spread wide so that I could rest comfortably between them. Though the positioning was different than in the movie, it wasn't hard to figure out the logistics. I lowered my head to his cock and took him as deeply as I could. It was a much sloppier blow job that I usually gave, but I knew he had to be wet and there was no way I was spitting on him like the girl in the movie. That was just nasty.

However, as usual, Ranger and the JLS were one step ahead of me. I felt slick hands groping my swollen, sensitive breasts getting them not just slick and lubed up, but drawing my nipples to hard little nubs surrounded by prickled skin. "Ohhh yes." Hector wasn't the only one moaning at that point. As I moved up to slide Hector's long, thick hardness between my boobs, the lubing hands were replaced by long fingered big ass hands that were a dark mahogany brown against my fair skin. Tank squeezed my breasts around Hector and helped me set the rhythm and motion. I don't know if it was supposed to feel that good, I'd assumed that it would be a thing I did just to say I had satisfied my own curiosity and my men, but the shocks of pleasure streaking through my body felt better than I had imagined.

"Mmm…Little Girl, look at our Hector. He is loving having your pretty, swollen titties wrapped around his dick." Tank wasn't just teasing my breasts either. He was pressing hot, sexy kisses to my neck, and his erection was pressing my panties into the cleft of my ass. "Fuck, I don't know if every pregnant woman is as hot and fucking sexy as you are…but I so fucking doubt it. no one is sexier than you." he growled against my ear. Tank knew exactly what that would do to me, I came with a begging whine. When I was able to focus again, I lowered my mouth to the head of Hector's cock and licked and sucked it whenever it was within reach. Before I knew it, he was shouting out in Spanish and shooting a massive amount of cum over my chin and breasts.

By the time I made it through Hal, Bobby, and Ric; my face and breasts were covered in cum and Tank's hands were streaked with the milky whiteness too. Hector and Cal made me lay down so that they could lick me clean. As they lapped at the jizz, Tank used his mouth and fingers to make me lose my mind completely. My boob-job facilitator must have decided that he didn't really want one himself because soon I felt him stretching me deliciously as he filled me completely. "Ohh God Tank…so good…" I whimpered and fell into the strongest orgasm of the night. I honestly don't know if I ever got to Cal and Lester, the rest of that night was just a haze of pleasure and passion. I slept so hard that supposedly the guys kept checking my breathing.

As usual when I awoke from that great a sleep I'd reached a possible solution to the nursery problem. It would take a bit of work, and I would end up without a dedicated personal space, and all the guys would have to agree to it. But I was pretty sure that they would love it and best of all I was really sure that it was the best option for all of us. I had also thought of a way we could use for the unused 'expansion' space on seven. For the first time in my entire life I was actually looking forward to doing some Suzy Homemaker type stuff. I couldn't wait.

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><p>I'm already working on the next chapter, hopefully it won't take so ridiculously long.<p>

Please Read & Review!

Have a great, happy & SAFE New Year's Eve!


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